Chapter Eleven
AK
Five days later . . .
I drank the beer, letting the cold liquid run down my throat. The night had gotten warmer, so I sat at the back of my cabin, a cooler filled with beer by my side. The sky was black and there wasn’t a damn cloud in the sky.
Vike left for the clubhouse about an hour ago, enlisted Ash to be his DD for the night. I wasn’t thinking about sluts tonight. Fuck, I hadn’t been thinking about them all week. Wasn’t interested in some slut raking at my chest and sucking on my junk.
What was the fucking point?
I looked through my kitchen window to see the clock on the wall. Five minutes to midnight. My eyes prickled with tiredness, but I knew I wouldn’t get more than a couple of hours if I tried to sleep. Because they’d be at the end of my bed in a second. And I really couldn’t stand seeing those fucking faces glaring at me.
They’d given me a couple of days rest, of course. I knew they would. The minute I helped Phebe, helped her purge the fucking heroin from her veins, I knew they’d go for a while. But I also knew that when they came back it would be worse. So much fucking worse. Memories that I thought I’d pushed away for good came back to pelt me between the eyes like a perfect shot. As they stood at the bottom of the bed, they showed me details I’d forgotten. Details I couldn’t fucking think about without losing my damn breath.
But the guilt was worse. Ripping into my stomach like talons.
So I’d stay awake.
Because I really couldn’t cope with those memories right now.
I finished the beer I was drinking and was opening another when I heard footsteps on the grass.
“What’s wrong?” I asked as Flame, avoiding my eyes, came over to where I sat.
“Nothing.” He sat down in the chair next to me.
“Nothing’s wrong? You sure?”
He nodded, his dead, black eyes staring out at the trees. I watched his jaw clench, the knives in his hands turning over in his palms. Since we’d got back from Klan Kunt’s ghost town, the fresh cuts on his arms had healed and his knives were blunt again. He still traced the flesh, but he made no new fresh cuts.
He was back with Maddie.
He was settled.
I sat back in my seat. Whatever Flame came here to say would come out eventually. I tipped back my head, staring at those motherfucking stars.
“You’re being weird.”
I froze, bottle almost at my mouth and took a deep breath. I lowered the bottle and looked over at Flame. His head was tilted toward me, but he never made eye contact. His muscles were tense under his cut, and his eyes twitched.
Shit. I had the fucker worried.
“I’m good,” I said neutrally. Flame’s lips rolled over his teeth.
“You’re lying,” he spat and got to his feet.
I sighed when he started pacing. “Flame,” I said. “I’m good. Stop worry—”
“You ain’t been speaking much, or going to the clubhouse.” His voice was cold and direct, but I could see by the narrowing of his eyes that his mind was racing, trying to understand what had changed within me. “It’s not the right date yet.” Hell, the brother may as well have slammed his iron fist into my stomach.
My hand tightened on the neck of the bottle. I squeezed it until I thought the glass would give way under my grip. I released it and shook my head. “Flame,” I said slowly. “Let it go. I’m good.”
“It’s months away from now,” he continued. “But you’re acting the same as you do then.”
My stomach hollowed out as the memories I kept pushed aside started breaking through my defenses. I saw the blood, heard the fucking screams and smelled the tinny odor that filled the room. “Flame,” I warned, close to losing my shit. I felt the lump climbing up my throat. Felt water hitting my eyes.
“It’s because of her.” He abruptly stopped his pacing. Looking up, I met the brother’s stare head on. I jumped to my feet, fueled by anger at the fact he’d brought this to me now. But I stopped dead when I saw him shaking his head, a damn lost expression on his face. “You’re AK. You don’t do this. Why’re you doing this now? It’s not time. It’s not the right month. It doesn’t make sense.”
I closed my eyes and drew in a long, deep breath. When I opened them again, Flame was rocking on his feet awkwardly. “It’s because of her.” He wasn’t asking a question. People thought Flame was fucked up. His father had told him repeatedly that he was a retard. But the brother was perceptive. He never forgot a thing. And more than that, since the day I helped free him from that nuthouse, he’d made sure he knew me better than anyone. Everyone thought I watched over him. I knew the truth—he watched over me too.
“I’m good,” I repeated and sat down again. I ran my hand down my face. “Sit down, Flame.”
He paused, but did as I said. I took another bottle of beer, feeling the effects of drinking all day beginning to hit me.
“It’s since we took her,” he said. “Since you let her in here with you. She’s made you think of it all again.” I opened my mouth to reply, but he continued. “You don’t sleep. But it’s worse since she’s come back. You sit out here all the time. You’re drinking. You never drink this much.”
I knew there was no point in denying it. For the brother to be here, to have left Maddie in their cabin alone, his concern for me must have been eating him alive.
So I stayed quiet. I sure as hell wasn’t gonna talk about shit that didn’t need to be talked about. I hadn’t since the day it happened, and I wasn’t gonna start now.
“I’ll get through it,” I said after minutes of silence. “I’ll . . .” I swallowed against the choking in my throat. “I always do.”
“You never have,” Flame countered, no emotion in his voice.
“And never will,” I agreed. My voice was raspy, so I cleared my throat. I refused to fucking break down.
“It wasn’t your fault,” Flame said aggressively. “I don’t know how many times you have to be told that shit.”
“And I ain’t ever gonna accept that.”
I refused to close my eyes, because if I did I’d see their faces. I’d see what I should have still had, had I not been so fucking stupid.
“She’s better.” I knew he was talking about Phebe. “Maddie has seen her, and she’s better. Maddie has been watching her for me, for you. You saved her.”
I nodded, the tightness in my chest loosening some. She was better. Fuck, from Flame that may as well have been a fucking happy jig. Red’s face came to my mind. I hadn’t been to see her since she’d been up at Ky’s. I hadn’t even asked how she was. I’d gotten her out, gotten her off the smack. That was enough. Though I’d thought about her pretty much every day. Thought about her out here, looking at the stars. Her reunion with Lilah . . . thought of her face when she saw her sister’s scar . . . of her hand in mine when she had thanked me, so fucking small in her bed . . . her telling me she was afraid . . .
“I don’t . . .” Flame gritted his teeth. “I don’t like you . . . like this.” The sound of Flame’s low, rough voice made me feel nothing but guilt.
“I know,” I said. “I’ll get through it.”
Flame’s shoulders dropped in relief, then he got to his feet. “Good.” He started to walk away.
“Flame?” I called as my brother’s huge body almost disappeared into darkness. He turned. “You spoke to Ash much lately?”
He was as still as the night. “We worked on the bike today.” The tension was back in his voice. It always was when he feared he’d fucked up somehow. That he’d disappointed me.
“Just keep talking to him, okay? Keep asking him around for dinner and shit.”
“Okay,” Flame said, then without another word, left for his cabin.
“Fuck!” I said to no one. I closed my eyes, letting the alcohol take its hold. I heard the sound of a twig snapping and sighed. “Flame, I promise, I’m good. I just wanna be left the fuck alone.”
I opened my eyes . . . and froze. I blinked when I saw her standing there, watching me. She took a step forward, and another, until she came into the light. It was her hair I saw first, long and down to the middle of her back. She was dressed in a long dark-green dress, tied at the top by some flimsy piece of silk string. The sleeves covered her arms, but fuck . . . the deep color made her freckles stand out more everywhere else.
“Hello,” she said eventually, her fucking sweet voice drifting through the night. I ran my eyes down her body. She was still rail thin, but she looked better than she had five days ago. Had some color back in her white cheeks. The bruising and marks had faded. She had some dark circles under her eyes, but that was about it.
Shit. She was fucking stunning.
“Hey.” I sat straighter in my chair. Phebe’s dropped her head and looked back up at me through hooded eyes. My cock hardened as she started walking toward me.
She smiled and tucked her long hair back behind her ears. “I wanted to come and see you,” she said. I let my eyes run down her tall body. The dress was fitted to her small frame, emphasizing every one of her curves. Perfectly showcasing her full tits under the almost-nothing material.
She slowly lowered her body into the seat beside me. The smell of flowers and some other girly-smelling shit filled my nose. As if she knew the effect she was having on me, she fucking smiled. But her smile quickly faded and her eyes lost their shine. “I . . . I have been having trouble sleeping.”
I took a sip from my beer, letting her speak.
“I have found that since I have been here, I cannot settle.” She closed her eyes and tilted her head to the side, exposing her long, smooth neck. Her hand lifted and, painstakingly slowly, drifted down the skin. A breathy sigh left her naturally red lips. I gripped my beer bottle tightly. “I love nothing more than having the wind on my face,” she said without opening her eyes. A smile formed on her lips. “I like to feel the heat on my face when it’s light and the moon’s rays when it’s dark.”
She arched her back, and I gritted my teeth as her round tits pushed against the fabric of her dress. There wasn’t much light out here, but it was enough for me to see that she wasn’t wearing anything underneath. Her eyes blinked open, and leaning across the space between our two chairs, she took the beer from my hand. Giving me that fucking smile again, she brought the bottle of Bud to her lips. Slowly and carefully, without fucking taking those blue eyes off mine, she wrapped her lips around the bottle and tilted her head back. She swallowed one, two, three sips before lowering the bottle, licking the rim with the tip of her tongue. She handed it back to me.
I was pretty far gone on liquor. I’d barely drunk anything but tequila, whiskey and beer since I’d dropped Red off five days ago, and right now she was fucking with my mind.
Phebe ran her hand through her hair. “I . . . I could not sleep again tonight and decided on a walk. So I followed my feet.” She paused. “And they led me straight to you.”
“They did, huh?” I said gruffly, feeling my ever-expanding cock practically ripping at the fly of my jeans.
“Yes.” She glanced at the floor. Her casual manner disappeared, and she twisted her hands in her lap, her fingers shaking. “I keep remembering your eyes,” she said suddenly, lifting her gaze to mine.
I drank my beer, but fuck if I could drag my attention off her. My motherfucking eyes. When she was under, when she was awake, she kept talking about my eyes. My eyes and that goddamned tree.
“I do not remember yet. I keep trying to recall what happened when he took me. Where I was. What happened there. I keep feeling as though there was something that I need to know. Must know. Something big that I am forgetting. That I am blocking out.” She raised her hands to her head. “But my head is a great fog, one which I cannot break through no matter how hard I try.” She looked at me, and she stopped shaking. “But strangely, I remember you. You, above anything or anyone else.” Leaning forward, she brought her hand to my face. I fucking froze as she ran her fingertips down my cheek. “I remember you. And these angel eyes.”
Phebe got to her feet and came toward me, stopping at my knees. I sat back in my chair, and she looked down at me. Even in the dim light, I could see her pale cheeks were red. “You saved me.”
There wasn’t one bit of me that wasn’t tense as she spoke those words. She bent down and placed her palms on my thighs. My hips shifted as I felt the heat of her hands through my jeans. “I remember being in your arms.” Her hands started moving up my thighs, one inch at a time.
“Red,” I growled as her face moved ever closer to mine. Even in my drunken state I could see her pupils dilate.
“Red,” she said as her mouth met my ear. “I like this name you call me. Red.” Her lips hit my cheek, then dragged across my skin until they hovered over my mouth, her eyes meeting mine. “I always stood out as a child because of my red hair. I was not blond like Rebekah or my other sisters. Not pretty, with smooth, flawless skin like the rest. I was not a Cursed, nor was I gifted in any way. I was freckled and pale. Yet I was still called for a higher mission.” She smiled and arched her back, her tits pressing into my chest. I groaned, one hand flexing on the side of my chair. I dropped my beer to the ground, the glass thudding as it hit the grass. “Then it all went wrong. Everything changed.” She stilled. She pressed a single, slow kiss to my mouth. “And you saved me . . . twice.”
Phebe’s fingers crawled up toward my dick. I grabbed her wrist with my free hand. “You need to stop,” I ordered.
Her eyes flared. “I do not want to stop,” she said breathlessly. “I have thought of you and nothing else these past five days.”
She had no idea what and who she was fucking with. If she did, she would back away. “Keep going and I’ll fuck you, Red. Can’t be pressing your big tits on me if you ain’t wanting me to fucking own them.” I caught the hitch of her breath and felt her pulse race under my fingers. “I’ll fuck you right here. I’ll fuck you and lick you and not stop until you’re screaming my name. You want that, bitch?”
Her shaky breath passed over my face. I smelled liquor on her breath, saw her pupils dilate and her freckled skin flush red at my crass words. I knew she was about to turn away, run back into the darkness. I knew she would pull back and go back home. And I knew—
“AK,” she whispered, and my narrowed eyes snapped to hers. Her bright-blue eyes were lit with something I didn’t expect—desire. Then a motherfucking twitch flickered at the side of her mouth, and she pulled her wrist from my hand, reaching down to cup my hard cock. She licked her lips. “AK . . . I want you . . . to own me.”
And I fucking snapped.
Lurching forward, I slammed my hands on her face and crushed her mouth to mine. I plunged my tongue alongside hers, pulling her head down as she moaned into my mouth. I fucking savaged her lips, bruising the flesh. I lowered my hands to her hips and pulled her down onto my lap. She crashed on top of me, never breaking from my mouth. I groaned as her hand began rubbing along the fly of my jeans. My tongue sank deeper, and I reached down and pulled up her dress, almost ripping the fucking material in two when I couldn’t get to her legs. But then my palms met flesh.
Phebe broke from my mouth, gasping, and trailed her lips and tongue down my neck. Her fingers snapped at the buttons on my fly. I bit my lip as she split the denim and her hand wrapped around my cock. Her hips rolled and her pussy ran along my thigh as she pumped me in her hand. Her mouth to my ear, her long red hair falling over my cheek. “AK,” she moaned, and I fucking jerked in her hand. I closed my eyes, holding back the need to flip her onto the ground and fuck her like she wanted. But then she was sliding down my body, her dress slipping through my fingers. I opened my eyes and watched as her knees hit the ground, her hand still gripping my cock.
The top of her dress had loosened, and from this angle I could see right down the front. It wasn’t enough. “Open your dress,” I instructed, my voice sounding like cut steel. Phebe bit down on her lip and smiled. She never moved those fucking blue eyes from mine as she released my dick and sat back so I could see her every move.
Her fingers crawled up her green dress to the tie at the neckline. Her tongue lapped at her lips as she pulled open the string keeping the top together. Her tits bounced underneath, like they were just waiting to spring free and be in my mouth. She panted. Panted as she rocked her hips back and forth. She flicked her head, and her long red hair fell to one shoulder, exposing one side of her neck. I clenched my fists, resisting the urge to leap forward and sink my teeth into her pale skin.
She was a damn siren.
The string fell open. My nostrils flared, barely hanging on to my patience as she took one hand and gently pulled the top of her dress to the side. Her bright white skin gleamed like milk in the moonlight. Her eyelids closed. I growled low, palming my own cock as her other hand moved to the hem of her dress. Breathy moans slipped from her throat. She dropped her shoulder, and the fabric slipped from one of her tits. The flesh was full and the skin just as speckled with freckles as everywhere else. Her fingers crept over the skin on her chest until they found her hard nipple. I stroked my dick, up and down, in long hard motions as she palmed her tit.
Then her mouth dropped open. I focused on the hand between her legs and I almost came. She had lifted the skirt of her dress, baring her pussy to me. Only it wasn’t only her fucking perfect pussy that had my hand working faster on my dick, it was the fact that two of her fingers were already in her hole. Her thumb strummed back and forth on her clit, her eyes rolling up toward the sky.
“Fuck, bitch,” I groaned, watching the blood rush to her face and her freckles disappear into the flush.
“AK,” she murmured as she worked herself harder and harder. Her moans deepened and grew louder as she pumped her hands faster. She squeezed her tit, pinching her nipple, and she cried out. My hand on my cock stilled as I watched her shoulders edge forward and her mouth open wider. Her arm shook as she worked her fingers in her pussy so fast that I could barely sit still. And then she froze, face framed in pleasure as a guttural moan tore from her mouth. Her head slammed back, exposing her throat as her hand was coated in her own wetness. Redness spread like a raging flood over her pale skin as she desperately searched for breath.
I hadn’t moved a fucking inch, watching the bitch make herself fall apart. With her eyes still closed, a wide smile spread on her lips, she lowered her head, her fingers on both her tit and in her pussy beginning to move again. When her eyes opened, pupils blown, she focused straight on me. Releasing herself, she inched her way across the grass toward me.
When she arrived at my knees, she worked herself between my thighs until her tits were at my exposed cock. She took hold of me in her hand. The fingers that had been all up in her cunt rose toward my mouth as she began stroking up and down my cock with her other hand. Her fingertips ran along my bottom lip. She watched me like a hawk as I grabbed hold of her wrist and kept it at my mouth. Her chest rose up and down as I flicked out my tongue and licked her fingers. The taste of her filled my mouth, and I groaned. Her breath was shaky as she watched me, and from the hardness of her nipple I knew she was getting off on it. So I took her fingers deeper into my mouth as her hand jerked faster on my cock. I wrapped my lips around them, tonguing off the juice.
“Mm,” she moaned, pulling her fingers from my mouth. Her eyes lit with fire, and the edges of her mouth hooked into a smile as she leaned forward and ran her tongue around the seam of my lips. “I can taste myself on you,” she whispered and squeezed my dick tightly.
“Red,” I warned, the grip on my self-control evaporating rapidly.
I leaned forward to kiss the fuck out of her mouth, but she dodged away before I could. She sank lower, then lower still until, mouth braced at the tip of my cock, she said, “I want to taste you.”
Before I could even take a damn breath, she lowered her lips around my dick, not stopping until she’d deep-throated my entire length. And I wasn’t fucking small. In fact, I knew I was huge. But she took me to the back of her throat without even gagging once.
“Shit, Red,” I groaned as I reached out to fist my hand in her hair. Then she really showed me what she could do. She worked me up and down, up and down, circling the head with her tongue when she reached the top. My balls tightened when her hand cupped them and worked them with her fingers. She mewled and moaned as she ate me, like the bitch was fucking starving.
I felt heat building at my balls, so I dragged her hungry mouth from my dick by her hair. Phebe gasped for air. She scrambled to get her mouth back on me, but I had other plans. I reached down and pulled her to her feet. Her big lips were swollen and red. She edged forward and crawled onto my lap. Her thighs dropped over each of mine, and her tits scraped against my bare chest. I hissed as her teeth dragged down my neck. Reaching forward, I pulled the rest of her dress off her tits and took them in my hands. Her lips sucked at my neck and she moaned, getting louder when I lowered my hands to her pussy and slid my fingers inside.
“Fuck, bitch,” I hissed as her hands ran down over my pecs and down to my abs. “You’re fucking drenched.”
“For you.” She tilted her head back as I brushed my finger over her swollen clit. “All for you.”
“I’m gonna fuck you, Red. I’m gonna fuck you real hard.”
Phebe smiled and leaned down until her mouth was at my ear. Knocking my hand from her pussy, she gripped my cock and lowered herself down until I was filling her wet hole. “No,” she said softly, tracing the outline of my ear with her tongue. “I am going to fuck you.”
I didn’t think it was possible to get any fucking harder, but as she whispered those words into my ear, I did. Then she gripped onto my shoulders and slammed down, until I was filling her. Her forehead pressed against mine, and her nostrils flared. Then the bitch started moving. Using her hands on my shoulders, she rocked back and forth, rolling those fucking hips until I could see nothing but her. All red—hair, flushed face, nipples. Fucking red all up in my shit.
I dropped my hands and slammed them on her ass. Phebe’s chest arched forward, pushing her nipples against my mouth. As she rode me, rode me harder and harder, faster and faster, I sucked her nipple into my mouth and bit down. Phebe cried out, her hips jerking, choking the fuck out of my cock.
“AK,’ she cried as she moved her hands up into my hair to keep my mouth on her tits. My hands tightened on her ass, and I began moving her faster. I wanted to be as far in her cunt as I could get. Phebe’s fingers gripped my hair so tight it felt like she was ripping out the strands. But I didn’t fucking care. She could tear the fuckers out if she wanted. My balls were tightening, and by the clenching of her pussy, I knew the bitch was close too.
Phebe’s breathing changed, and she loosened her grip on my hair. She leaned back, taking her tit from my tongue. Her pace increased, her moans came faster, but all of that meant shit when she drew her gaze to me. Her hands moved to my cheeks, and when I knew both of us were about to come, she stared into my eyes, and damn if it didn’t seem she could see right through me.
Phebe movements became erratic, her mouth parting slightly. Then she stilled and let out a long moan. Her pussy clamped down on my already-leaking cock, and as she came, flooding me with her wetness, I threw my head back and came too. I fucking came and came, holding the bitch down on my fat cock until I’d filled her with my cum. I growled, jerking into her hot cunt until I was drained. Fucking wrung dry.
Sweat beaded over my forehead and trickled down my back. I fought to breathe as I came through the fog that was in my head. Eventually I opened my eyes.
Phebe’s hands were still on my face. Her eyes were still fixed on mine. And I watched as tear after tear fell down her flushed cheeks.
I froze, wondering what the fuck was wrong, but then she opened those talented lips and asked softly, “Who did you see when you saved me?”
My muscles tensed so hard I was convinced the fibers would snap. Her head tilted to the side as she studied me, and her fingers stroked my cheeks. “What haunts you?” Then a truly fucking heartbreaking smile landed on her mouth. But this smile had fuck all to do with happiness. It was the kind of smile that stopped you falling apart. A fucking lie. A false front. Like the one Flame had accused me of wearing.
Phebe brought her face closer to mine. I could feel the heat from her damp skin. And fuck, I could smell the salt from her tears. But I was paralyzed. The bitch’s words had me completely motionless, my cock softening inside her.
She dragged in a stuttered breath, then stroked back the hair from my face. “Who keeps you in this prison? A prison like mine?” she repeated, but my mouth was sealed tight. I knew my breathing was coming out hard through my nose, but I knew nothing else beyond her searching eyes, her tears and those fucking gutting questions.
Phebe’s lips pressed a kiss to each cheek, then to my forehead and finally my mouth. She stayed there, kissing my closed lips. My hands were iron tight on her ass, but when her tongue probed at my lips, I let her in. But this kiss wasn’t like when we fucked. The bitch was being gentle, fucking caring.
Fucking destroying me. Who keeps you in this prison? A prison like mine?
She kissed me for a minute, maybe two, before pulling back. Nose pressed against my own, she ran her hand over my forehead, then softly down my cheek. “You are not so dissimilar to me, I think.” She smiled as more tears fell down her pale cheeks. “I see it in your eyes. I . . .” Her breathing hitched. “I see . . . me.”
Phebe shifted and, pulling herself off my cock, got to her feet. She fixed her dress and tipped her head back to the night sky. She took three deep breaths, then turned her head to me. “AK,” she said softly in farewell and walked away. I watched her as she faded into the darkness.
I stared after her for fuck knows how long. I ran my hand down my face. My head was spinning. I reached down and tucked my flaccid cock back into my jeans. I could still taste her pussy on my lips. I could still see her on the ground before me, letting herself come. But I could also still see those tears streaming down her face. Who haunts you?
I took out a new bottle of beer and downed the amber liquid in three swallows. Then I chased it with the bottle of tequila under my chair. I drank until I blacked the fuck out.
When I woke up, still in the chair, the night still black, I stared at the people parading before me. The fuckers who never, ever left me alone. I lifted my head as my drunken eyes took in the bleeding forms walking toward me, getting in my face. Their black eyes were soulless pits as they stared me down, never letting me move on.
I closed my eyes, trying to block them from my sight. “Them,” I said hoarsely. I took a shuddering breath, feeling my own tears running down my cheeks. “I was trying to save them . . . but it never works . . . nothing ever works. They’ll never leave me alone.”
I fell back to sleep, feeling Phebe’s hands on my face and her lips on my mouth. I see it in your eyes . . . I see . . . me.
And Christ, but I saw her too.