DECKER

Even though the meeting I was in was one of importance, which required my intuition and business wit, I could not drag my thoughts away from the little strawberry blonde in SoHo. She had sparked something inside me, brought something back to life that I thought was dead. And I wasn’t just talking about my dick. My dull world seemed to have color again, and the laughter I had left behind in a wake of self-pity was back. Just the thought of Andi could make me harden so fast I thought I would faint over the loss of blood in my brain. It was as if my cock had never been on vacation; as soon as it scented Andi, it would stand to attention with a big shit eating grin on its swollen head.

I glanced at the man who sat opposite me. His silver hair was carefully slicked back, his grey suit expensive and cut to perfection. He was not a young man, he was easily pushing sixty, but I knew he had some of the adult industry’s most sought after women in his bed regularly. He was still in good shape, his mind sharp as a tack. Laurie Bishop, AKA The Bishop, was a writer, director, and producer for his own pornographic production company called Bishop X. He was one of the most respected men in the adult film world, having produced quality scenes and movies for over half his life. He was now settled into the high quality digital era, using young, clean, attractive actors, and not merely producing erotic and sensual scenes, but entire damn movies. I had never worked with The Bishop, but to say that starring in one of his films wasn’t at the top of my to-do list would be a load of bullshit. I had jumped at the chance.

Only seeking out the best of the best, The Bishop had approached me. He wanted young, fit actors, drug free, and able to pull off long hours of filming over a few weeks. I should have said no with my ‘condition’, but I couldn’t refuse the opportunity to work with The Bishop. The only thing bothering me about his proposal, so far, was Melody Mona—not her real name—it had a better ring to it than Renee Dalton though. Melody was nice enough, hot as hell, and fucked like nobody’s business, but she had tried a little too hard to make us an exclusive item. I didn’t do exclusive, not in this industry. It was unfair for a woman to be tolerant of me screwing other women, even for work, and any woman who was tolerant of it wasn’t the kind of woman I wanted to be exclusive with. As I sat across from The Bishop, I wondered if he would be prepared to give up Melody? I had just asked him to have her replaced, and he seemed to be considering it.

“Melody has already signed a contract,” he said. “She’s perfect for the film; like you, she has extensive experience, she’s clean, beautiful, and looks incredible on camera.”

“I’m not comfortable working with Melody. What about Leah? She’s hot at the moment, also has plenty of experience.”

The Bishop shook his head. “Leah won’t do D.P.” Damn, I wasn’t a fan of double penetration either; crossing swords could be a messy and uncomfortable situation. “I was told by your agent that wouldn’t be a problem. Did I misunderstand?” The Bishop asked.

“No, no problem. Michael said you didn’t have a contract drawn up yet. What exactly are we looking at here?” Michael, my agent, rarely let a meeting get this far without a dollar amount having been agreed upon in advance. He knew The Bishop though, and he knew my desire to star in one of his films.

The Bishop slid a piece of paper across the table. It was a brief outline of the film’s details. It was planned to be a one hour and fifteen minute final production with a fantasy theme. It would be marketed for women audiences, containing the more feminine desires. A warrior would find a woman in his cave, have his wicked way with her, and she would flee his tyranny but miss him. The warrior’s brother would take the girl and have his wicked way with her. Then the first warrior would stumble across them, join in, and everyone would live happily ever after. Is this shit seriously what women want, I wondered? The female market for pornography was a rapidly growing trend. The demand for young, athletic, good looking male actors was massive. My phone rang hot these days with offers, but until now, my performance issues had somewhat battered my confidence. While current inclinations in the pornography industry suggested this was the time I should be raking in the big bucks, I was sitting on the side-lines holding my limp dick. The Bishop’s pornographic feature would be filmed over three weeks, with a ten thousand dollar salary for me alone. In pornography, that was some damn good money. The privilege of working for The Bishop was worth several times that. I found myself nodding.

“Looks good, you can count me in.” The Bishop stood with a pleased smile on his face. I stood and accepted his outstretched hand.

“Glad to be the one to bring Steele out of retirement,” he said.

“I look forward to working with you.” The words felt like a lie. Working with The Bishop had been a dream, a goal, however, now that I had signed up I didn’t feel the elation and triumph I thought I would feel. No, all I could think about was Andi. What would she think if she knew the truth? I was a porn star for Christ’s sake, certainly not a good enough man for someone like Andi.

*

I couldn’t stop thinking about her no matter how hard I tried. It didn’t help that every day she sent me a good morning text accompanied with a picture of a cat. It also didn’t help that I returned her texts with pictures of a dead animals. Not real dead animals, cartoon ones, cute ones. Shit, how old was I again, and where the fuck was my masculinity? I was a pussy whipped mitch. I chuckled to myself, remembering how Casey had explained the complexities of a mitch, a man bitch. The truth of the matter was, I had become intimately acquainted with the term of late. I was officially New York’s greatest mitch who wanted nothing more than to follow the new girl from Texas everywhere she went. Creeper much? I shook off my pathetically needy thoughts and glanced across my breakfast bar. Leah had dropped by and was currently leaning on her elbows before me, her spectacular breasts right there for my viewing pleasure. My body didn’t react to Leah’s splendid beauty though, instead, my thoughts filled with the image of Andi in that yellow dress and cowboy boots. She had moved like a fucking seductress as she danced across Casey and Lionel’s rooftop, and she wasn’t even trying to be sexy. She had laughed like she didn’t have a care in the world, and I had been unable to tear my gaze away from her innocent beauty.

“I saw Donna yesterday.” Leah’s voice snapped me out of my hazy Andi daydream. I grunted as I stuffed a mouthful of Lucky Charms in my mouth. “She said she came by last week.” I didn’t say anything, I knew Leah would drag this conversation in a particular direction, and she’d get there without me having to put in any effort. “She mentioned she stopped by recently and gave you one hell of a BJ, and in return, she got herself a night of unfulfilled masturbation, alone.”

I grinned, proud of denying Donna all over again. “I wasn’t in the mood. I didn’t invite her over. If she would have called beforehand, I would have saved her the trip and the disappointment.”

Leah’s head dipped to one side, her long hair smooth and straight, fell over her shoulder. She was a spectacular woman, one I indulged in regularly, with and without Cindy. Yet this morning, something felt different as I took in her body. Although my spark of desire had recently been dimmed, it had still been there, even if my dick wasn’t willing to participate. Today, there was nothing. When my thoughts moved effortlessly back to Andi, my heart thumped hard in my chest and my dick twitched. Motherfucker! This couldn’t be good.

“You’ve met someone,” Leah murmured. My eyes flew to hers, no doubt panic written all over my face in very thick, black obvious marker. Leah’s lips turned up into a smile. “Oh my god. I knew you were having issues.” Her gaze dipped to my groin. Yeah, Leah was aware of my problems. “But I had no idea it was over a woman.”

I shook my head in denial. “My problem has nothing to do with a woman.” Too fast, too defensive, I wasn’t convincing anyone, least of all myself. Leah moved quickly forward so she was now standing beside me, her eyes lit up with excitement. “Stop looking at me like that, there’s no one,” I growled.

“There’s someone…” she crooned thoughtfully.

“There is a woman, but I’m not seeing her. We’re just friends.”

Leah was still smiling. “Friends like me and Cindy?”

“I’m not fucking her,” I snapped.

Leah’s eyes got the female wistfulness that women got when they talked about weddings, babies, and love. “She must be pretty special if you’re not fucking her.” I pushed my empty cereal bowl away and stood from the counter, taking a step forward to trap Leah between my much larger body and the counter behind her. She was still staring at me with a knowing smile on her lips.

“She is not even remotely special, she’s just a girl, a girl who I have no intention of burying myself in any time soon.” My voice lowered as my fingers ran up Leah’s flat stomach, over her breasts, finally stopping at the little bow ties that held her flimsy top on her shoulders. I tugged on the ribbons and they fell free. Leah didn’t attempt to stop me as the fabric fell from her body, exposing her perfect breasts. I ran my thumb over her nipple. I loved the feel of a woman’s body, their soft skin and supple curves. Leah’s body was a work of art, and yet as I cupped her breasts and pinched at her nipples, my dick remained impassively bored.

“Why not?” Leah’s voice was far too casual for my ministrations.

I sighed, realizing I was off my game. I was used to my body being completely unresponsive, unless of course your name started with A, ended with I and belonged to a spritely red head with a sexy Texan drawl. But Leah was completely immune to my ministrations and that was a hard blow to my male ego.

“Because it would be dangerous,” I confessed quietly.

“Because you like her.” It wasn’t a question.

“I like you,” I retorted stubbornly.

“It’s not the same. She makes you feel something in here and that freaks you out a little.” Leah placed her hand on my chest, right over my heart. My hands had stilled on her breasts. “But it feels good to feel something in here, right?” She stepped to one side, moving away from my touch, carefully righting her clothes.

“Leah,” I growled. I wanted to fuck her. I wanted to want to fuck her, badly. But it wasn’t there and Leah knew it. I was trying to prove something and to who, I wasn’t sure.

“Decker, she might be it.” Leah looked at me with soft eyes, her expression pensive. Leah and I had had this conversation many times, the enigma of it, the one thing that would make everything else lackluster and tasteless, the one thing that would sway us from the indulgent and wicked world of adult film. Neither of us would take on a serious companion while we did this job, yet neither of us was prepared to give up the job to find that person. Talk about screwed up, Leah and I were poster girl and boy for emotionally fucked up porn stars.

“Don’t get me wrong, Decker, you can screw like nobody’s business, but this job isn’t you.” She looked at me seriously. “Melody isn’t the only woman on set who would do anything to be yours off set. You are sweet with all us girls, caring, and funny. We don’t call you the Prince of Porn just because of that,” she said, pointing at my groin. “It’s kinda cute when you try to be an asshole, but at the end of the day, you can’t help yourself, Decker, you’re a good guy, a true prince.” I rolled my eyes as Leah strutted towards the door. I wasn’t disappointed she was walking away from me. I was disappointed I didn’t want her like I needed her. “I heard you signed on with The Bishop,” she said as she pulled the door open. I nodded. “Whoever she is, Decker, give her a chance, give it a chance. The job won’t be there forever. While you’re one stunning man, you are no Hugh Hefner. When you’re dick shrivels up and your hair falls out, you’re gonna want a woman by your side, a good woman. Don’t let anything stop the chances of meeting her get in your way.” With that parting piece of advice, she left. The thought of my dick shriveling up and my hair falling out made me feel slightly ill. I had to hand it to Leah, when she gets all philosophical and shit, she leaves your thoughts chaotic. Right now, mine were a fucking mess.

*

“I don’t know, Decker, that looks expensive. I’m not sure if I can afford it,” Andi said nervously as I struggled through her front door with the massive box. It was a state of the art security system with all the bells and whistles. It had cost a little over four grand, but there was no way I was telling Andi that.

I tried not to look at her as I sat the box down, she was far too distracting. Just being in the same room as her made my body thrum with life, and it took all my discipline and parental ingrained manners to keep my hands to myself.

“I have a friend in security. I got this at cost, five hundred dollars.” Andi raised a brow and I laughed. Yeah, she was hardly buying that.

“Is it stolen?” she asked, her eyes narrowed.

“Of course it isn’t stolen,” I balked indignantly. She didn’t look convinced, but thankfully my friend had provided me with a dud invoice. I whipped it out and showed her. “You wound me with your accusations,” I said as I began unpacking the box.

“Okay, big guy, do your stuff and make me safe then.”

While Andi shuffled around the store looking for things to clean, I installed her system. An hour later I showed her the security panel behind the front counter and explained how to arm and disarm the device. I also screwed a bell above the door that would alert her to people coming and going. If I had to listen to that sound all day, I think I would slit my wrists. Andi loved it though, said it added character and charm to the place.

“You’re as handy as a rope at a hangin’, you know that?”

“I’m not sure if that’s a compliment.” I laughed as we made our way upstairs to her apartment.

“Oh, it’s a compliment. I couldn’t have done all this without you. You’re a miracle.”

Yeah, I was about as far from a miracle as Brittany Spears was from making a comeback.

“Wanna go out for a drink?” I asked, changing the subject.

Andi’s eyes lit up. “Heck yeah,” she exclaimed. “Just let me change.”

I settled in for the long haul. When women said, “let me change”, it actually meant just let me shower, wax, primp, preen, blow dry, apply makeup, then stare at my wardrobe for twenty minutes while I toss everything I own on the bed only to dress in the first thing I had laid my hands on. I flicked on the TV that I had finally found a free moment to hang on the wall.

“Okay, let’s go,” Andi sang as she wandered into the kitchen and grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge.

I stared at her. She was wearing blue jeans with a red halter-neck top that fell low between her breasts, finished off with her trademark boots. Her hair was loose and flowing down her back. She wore little to no makeup, but with pale unblemished skin like hers, she really didn’t need it.

“What? Should I put on a skirt?” She looked down at her clothing with a worried frown.

I shook my head and stood. “I think you just set the record for fastest dressed female in New York.” Andi scoffed and led the way out of the apartment. She set the alarm, just as I had shown her, and locked the front door.

We walked the three blocks to the closest bar. It was a trendy new place that had a Cheers-like quality about it. The bar itself was a long, high, varnished wooden top, lined with bar stools on either side. Booths sat around the outer edges of the bar with a dance floor at one end. It was early, only eight o’clock, so the place was almost empty. We set ourselves up at one end of bar, and I ordered us both beers.

“And a bottle of tequila with two shot glasses,” Andi added beside me.

The bartender gave her a wink while I gave her a wicked grin.

“You gonna try and get me drunk so you can take advantage of me?”

Andi gave me an equally wicked grin. “Do I really need to get you drunk for me to take advantage of you?” I shook my head. I watched Andi pour our first shots. “Tequila, lowering people’s inhibitions for years,” she murmured.

“Here’s to not falling down tonight,” I said, clinking my shot glass against Andi’s.

“Hold up there, city boy.” She put her hand over my drink to stop me from throwing down the shot. “Where I come from, shots must be accompanied with a game.” I arched a brow at the suggestion of a drinking game. “We are going to play bullshit.” I simply stared at her and blinked, waiting for a further explanation. Andi smiled. “We are going to take turns, I’ll go first. I tell you something, you call bullshit or no bullshit. If you call it right, I drink. If you’re wrong, you drink.” I nodded my understanding. “Okay, I have a tattoo on my ass of Tinkerbell holding a bottle of Tequila.” There was no way Andi was sporting ink.

“Bullshit,” I said easily.

With a devilish twinkle in her eye, Andi’s hands dropped to the buttons on her jeans. In a slow seductive tease, she slid each button free, my eyes riveted on her hands. Once the buttons were undone and a teasing glimpse of red panties came into view, Andi turned and pushed the back of her jeans down. There, on the soft, milky white expanse of her beautiful ass, was a tattoo of Tinkerbell. The fairy was sitting in her traditional green dress, her nimble wings drawn delicately at her back, a cheeky wink on her defiant face, and in her hand was a bottle of fucking tequila. No sooner had I spied the stunning yet sassy tattoo and Andi’s jeans were back in place.

“Drink up, city boy.”

I raised the shot glass to my lips and threw it down, wincing as the burn followed my throat into my chest. “Fuck, Andi, I hope you realize I’m going to have that image of your gorgeous ass in my head all night now.” She laughed as she climbed onto the stool beside me.

“Your turn.”

“Right. I hate swimming in the ocean because I’m scared shitless of dolphins.” I watched Andi’s lips purse in thought before she nodded.

“I’m not sure why you would be scared of dolphins, they’re beautiful, but I’m going to go out on a limb here and call no bullshit.”

I nodded as I refilled my shot glass. “No bullshit. Dolphins rape caves, Google it. I guarantee you will have nightmares about those slippery fuckers for weeks.”

Andi looked surprised for all but a moment before she gleefully rubbed her hands together. “In college, I went to a Halloween party dressed as a cowgirl. I wore a tasseled bra top, cowboy hat, my boots, and chaps over a pair of panties with Ride Me Cowboy across the butt.”

Unable to speak beyond the lust filled thoughts of Andi dressed in chaps over panties only, I stared. “Bullshit,” I said finally. No way would shy, little Andi Jennings step out in something so risqué.

“Drink up,” she said with a grin.

“I really cannot wait for Halloween this year,” I groaned, taking my shot. Andi smirked as she took a drink from her beer. “Alright, Country,” I looked right into her gorgeous green eyes as I leaned in a little closer, noting that fresh smell of cinnamon that seemed to cling to her skin, “I’ve won an award for eating out pussy.”

A furious shade of red consumed her cheeks before she shook her head smiling. “You wish. Bullshit.”

I couldn’t help the arrogant smile that tipped my lips. “Drink up, sweetness.”

She looked from me to the shot glass and back again. “How do you win an award like that? Are there actually pussy eating contests in New York?” she said, garnering the attention of two men sitting close by. They laughed but thankfully returned to their own conversation. I didn’t elaborate or explain, and Andi grudgingly threw back her shot.

“You are going to have to explain that one at a later date,” she said, pointing her finger at me.

“Your turn.” I waved her on.

“Okay, the guy I lost my virginity to was gay.”

I considered her for a moment before nodding. “I can understand how a sexy thing like you could convert a man. No bullshit.”

She grabbed the shot glass, confirming her story to be true. “And I didn’t lure him over to the straight side or anything. He wasn’t entirely sure if he was gay or not, so he experimented with me. Not that I knew it at the time, but after our interlude, he decided he was very much gay.”

“His loss,” I answered easily.

“Go.” Andi grimaced through the after burn of her shot.

“I hate anal sex.” I found myself declaring. Andi’s brows almost climbed off her face and I couldn’t help but laugh.

“Bullshit. All guys are into that, it’s like the holy grail of sexual intimacy, the forbidden cavern.”

It was my turn to laugh. “Yeah, well, it’s not all it’s cracked up to be. The preparation needed before the act is pretty unattractive, and, trust me, if you skip preparation, it ain’t pretty.”

Andi tilted her head to one side, her eyes full of questions. “What sort of preparation?” she asked with innocent curiosity.

“I’m sure you can figure it out, Country.” She still looked utterly clueless. “Come on, you don’t want what comes out of that passage to come out during the act. A woman must clean the tubes first.” She seemed to finally understand as her nose scrunched up.

“Ewwww, Decker, that’s gross.”

I shrugged. “Some guys are into it, me not so much. I’ve done it, and I have to say, pussy is like a magnet for my dick, it can’t help but find its way back to its hole of choice.” Andi blushed and grinned. Her eyes had taken on a slightly glazed look. She wasn’t drunk, but the shots would catch up with her quickly if we didn’t put a timeout on the game. “Come on, let’s grab a booth and chill out back there. If we keep playing this game up here, I’m gonna fall off my stool.”

“I hope I’m not going to cramp your style,” Andi said as we slid into a booth. “Maybe I could be your wing-woman.”

I chuckled behind the neck of my beer. “This may surprise you, Andi, but I don’t need to take a girl home every time I go to a bar. I’m more than happy to just hang here and get wasted with you.” Andi winked at me and the action went straight to my groin.

“What if I want to take a guy home?”

Huh, I hadn’t thought of that. “I could help you out with that,” I replied. Andi just stared at me until I realized what I had said. “I mean, I can be your wing-man, if that’s what you want?” My voice lacked enthusiasm though. The thought of helping Andi meet a guy who she could take home to fuck pissed me off.

Andi laughed. “I don’t need to take a guy home every time I go to a bar,” she echoed my words. “So, here’s to us hanging out and getting as drunk as a fiddler’s bitch.” Andi raised her beer and I clinked mine against hers. “I hope you can keep up,” she added.

“Country, I wasn’t born, I was simply squeezed out of a bartender’s rag. I hope you can keep up.”

It quickly became apparent that Andi liked to play games. She laughed a lot too, which made me more than willing to play along, if just to hear her laughter. While sitting in the shadowed booth, a new game had risen out of nowhere. We were picking random people and imagining what their lives might be like.

“Mr. Mustache, six o’clock.” I followed her gaze to a cheesy looking guy, probably in his late thirties with a ridiculous looking mustache. “Porn star,” she said with a grin. I somehow managed to choke back my surprise. “Penthouse apartment in the city, struts around his house in tacky silk robes and slippers. Hung like a fucking beast too,” she added seriously. Thankfully I didn’t own silk robes, though I did have slippers.

“What kind of porn do you watch?” I wondered out loud, my hand trying to rub the sudden tension from my neck.

“Holy shit, it’s Decker Steele,” exclaimed a female voice from somewhere behind me. I turned just in time to see a tall brunette in a red dress that clung to her body like a second skin. Her eyes had lowered to half-mast as she approached me with a seductive sway to her hips. She wore heels which made her already long legs look even longer. She had that all too common beauty that I had grown tired of a long time ago. “You,” she pointed at me, “have the prettiest dick I have ever seen.”

Shit. I mentally groaned. This girl was going to ruin my buzz, and I seriously hated it when people referred to my dick as pretty. Pretty was for girls, I had a manly dick, even if it didn’t work reliably anymore. Words like huge, thick, powerful, immense, or monster came to mind. I found myself grinning, yeah, I had one hell of a monster dick. A surprised splutter of laughter at my side dragged my attention away from thoughts of my traitorous member and back to the situation at hand. I cast a sideways glance to Andi whose look was caught somewhere between disbelief and shock.

The brunette leaned forward, giving me a spectacular view of her tits. She whispered in my ear, “Decker Steele, it would be my honor to suck your pretty cock.” Her words did nothing for me. Girls whispered that and more in my ear on a regular basis, and recently my dick had become focused on one girl only.

“Baby, you promised me a dance,” came Andi’s slightly slurred voice from beside me. “Scuse me,” she said, standing, using her hip to bump the seductress aside.

Andi was much smaller than the heeled beauty before me, but she wasn’t at all intimidated. She looked like a possessive little temptress, and my dick began to harden with appreciation. Yep, my cock had marked Andi as his, and although my heart and head continued to deny it, I had to admit that she made me feel more alive than I had felt in years. The brunette cast Andi a disdainful look that made me visibly wince.

“Excuse me Elly May, but we’re having a conversation here.”

Andi rolled her eyes and waved her hand in the air. “See,” she exclaimed, staring at me with impatience, “even she could come up with something more original than country.” The brunette tried to move Andi aside, but my little defiant woman refused to be swayed. “And, there is no conversation going on here. For a conversation to take place, it requires more than one party, and if you hadn’t noticed, Decker hasn’t opened his mouth.” Andi’s brow furrowed as she leaned in towards the woman, scrutinizing her face to the point where the brunette took a small step back. “You’ve got desperation written all over you.” She waved her finger in front of the woman’s face. “You really should do something about that.”

“Actually,” purred the brunette, steeling her composure, “we were just going to take this conversation somewhere a little more private.” She glanced in my direction, the promise of whatever I wanted there for the taking in her smile. I didn’t attempt to move; I had no intention of going anywhere with her.

“Wow, I’m not sure what exactly is wrong with your brain, but I wager it’s hard to pronounce,” exclaimed Andi. “I’m betting she wouldn’t even have the sense to spit downwind.” Her eyes were on mine as she nodded towards the woman who now looked horrified.

“Come on, baby, take me out on that dance floor and blow my mind,” murmured Andi, reaching for my hand that I didn’t hesitate to grab hold of.

“Sorry, honey, I did promise my girl here a dance.” I moved around the frowning brunette and followed Andi to the dance floor. When we got there, Andi didn’t turn around, instead she began dancing with her back to my front. I took her waist and guided her a little closer. I had no idea whether her inhibitions had been lost under the influence of alcohol, or if it was all an act for the too-forward brunette, but Andi reached back and wrapped her arms around my neck, her sexy body moving to the music, rubbing seductively against mine. I lost myself under the power of her beautiful warmth under my hands. I wanted to reach up and cup her breasts, tease her nipples to taut points. Instead, I somehow managed to keep things relatively PG rated. I’m sure Andi didn’t miss the roaring erection at her lower back though. A fine sheen of sweat had Andi’s body glistening, begging me to lean forward and lick the arch of her beautiful neck. The dance floor was packed, but I didn’t notice anyone else but the exquisiteness before me. Her hips swayed like a goddess. Her fingers gripped the hair at the back of my head, urging me closer. How could I not comply with such a demand? I buried my face in the crook of her neck and breathed her in. I kissed her skin and licked at the salty taste there, my hands sitting right beneath her breasts. It was by far the most sinfully wicked dance I had ever partaken in, and we still had our clothes on. Finally, Andi pulled away, taking my hand, dragging me back to the bar.

“Quick Fucks!” she declared to the bartender who smiled widely as he began making us more shots. I noticed Andi glancing at the brunette who had taken up residence at our booth, glaring daggers in her direction. She turned back to the bar and picked up our shots, handing me mine. “Here’s to one bitch ditched.” I clinked my glass against hers and we knocked back the shot. A few guys standing beside us applauded. Andi gave them a little unsteady bow. One of the guys was wearing a shirt which read, ‘Kiss my nuts goodbye’.

Andi pointed at him. “You, where are your nuts going?” she demanded.

The guy to his side slapped his back. “He’s getting married next weekend.”

“You poor thing,” Andi said with a serious expression. “Free sex on tap for the rest of your life, you must be completely bummed.”

The bachelor grinned. “Yep, completely bummed.”

“You should have a shot with me,” Andi said, pointing at him again.

We ordered another round and Andi threw it down, slamming the empty shot glass on the bar with a little too much enthusiasm.

“Damn, you are a little firecracker. Please tell me that’s not your man behind you there?” whispered one of the men, invading Andi’s personal space.

I’m pretty sure I wasn’t meant to hear him, but he was too wasted to realize how loud he had spoken. I wanted to punch the fucker in the face, throw him over the bar, and hand him his ass on a platter. Instead, Andi quickly fixed the situation.

“Actually, this is my husband. We’re celebrating our tenth wedding anniversary.”

The guys all looked at us dubiously.

“Where’s your wedding ring?” one of them asked.

Andi didn’t miss a beat. “I don’t like flashy jewelry so we got matching nipple rings instead.”

Five sets of male eyes dropped to Andi’s tits. I wrapped my arms around her shoulders and cupped her breasts, moving her back to my chest and kissing her neck. I could feel her nipples immediately harden. I looked up at the shocked faces before us.

“You look at my wife’s tits again and you all might lose your fucking nuts.” Their gazes immediately left Andi, and after a short awkward silence, Andi coughed.

“Baby, it’s hot as hell in here. How bout we take this home and I’ll let you tie me up again.”

The group of guys all choked on their beers.

“Mmmmmm,” I murmured, hiding my smile in the arch of her neck, my hands still clasped possessively over her breasts. “I do love tying you up, but only if you promise to do that thing with the ice cubes and your tongue.” Five groans met the wicked words I said just loud enough for our audience.

Andi faux sighed. “You drive a hard bargain.” She turned in my arms, placed a chaste kiss on my cheek. “But I do so love making you scream like chimp on fire.”

We both laughed as she led me away from the bar.

“Good luck with the loss of your nuts,” she threw over her shoulder to the bachelor who raised his glass in response.

The fresh air outside the bar did nothing for the raging hard-on I was now sporting. I tried to shift it as we walked back to Andi’s apartment.

“Problem there, Decker?” Andi asked, looking a little too impressed with herself.

Little did she know how completely ecstatic I was with my massive erection. It had been missing for so long, I was more than happy to walk around in public with it.

“No more so than those lovely little nipples begging for attention there.” I nodded to her tits. She slapped me across the chest and tripped over a crack in the pavement. I caught her before she fell to the ground. “Damn, your drunk,” I noted.

“I told you we were going to get as drunk as a biddler’s fitch, I mean fiddler’s bitch,” she slurred.

“I don’t even know what a fiddler’s bitch is,” I confessed.

“You know somethin’? Neither do I.” Her body leaned into mine for support as we stumbled along.

“Andi, you’re butt-toast, jump up.” I leaned forward so she could jump on my back.

“My butt is what?” she asked indignantly, her hands on her hips. She was trying hard to look serious, but she couldn’t seem to wipe the smile from her face. “Baked, shit-faced, buzzed, wasted…drunk. Last chance for a piggy—” Whomp. I nearly fell forward from the way she threw herself onto my back. “Damn, Country, I thought you’d be a hell of a lot lighter than this.” It didn’t take long to regain my footing, and we recommenced the two block walk to her home.

“So, you have a pretty dick, huh?” she whispered in my ear after a short while.

“I’m not one to boast, but it is kind of awesome.”

Andi snorted then went quiet, her head resting on my shoulder. I actually thought she was asleep until she asked me to put her down so she could find her keys. I unlocked her front door and reached the security key pad right before it was started screaming, “intruder alert”. Andi stumbled up the stairs to her apartment, and I reset the alarm before following her up. I hoped I wasn’t being presumptuous in assuming I could crash at her place, on the couch of course. There would be absolutely no sex, none whatsoever. As Andi stumbled towards her bed, she began to peel off her clothes, starting with her boots. I would have tried to stop her, I should have tried to stop her... Oh who was I kidding, there wasn’t a chance in hell I was going to stop her. The thin top was whipped off over her head and her jeans inched down her bare legs. She collapsed onto her bed wearing nothing but a sexy red strapless bra and a matching pair of red lace panties with little bows on each hip. Fuck me, my cock was has hard as forged steel and straining with impatience to get out of my jeans. She was supposed to wear cotton-tail panties, damn it! Friends without benefits should not wear lace!

“Let me see if I have this right. You have no female friends who you haven’t fucked, except me of course,” Andi began rambling from the bed. “Your job has you naked, donating sperm but not for babies. You read scripts occasionally because you are kind of an actor and you have an awesome dick.” I took a few tentative steps towards her, my eyes slowly mapping her body, every soft delicate curve. “Oh, and let’s not forget you have won a pussy eating award and carry the title Dr. Anal.” Her glazed drunken eyes snapped to mine, a frown creating a small crevice between her eyes. “Are you a porn star?”