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Dirty Angel by Barbara Elsborg (21)

 

 

Brody sat, Des by his side, waiting for news on Aden. Des had offered him food, coffee, water, and Brody had refused everything. He wasn’t sure he could ever eat or drink again. This was all his fault. Matt was—fuck it—had been dangerous and Brody had failed to understand just how dangerous. His failure and Aden had paid the price.

Des patted Brody’s knee. “Stop blaming yourself.”

Brody huffed. “It’s not just Aden. Matt’s wife and kids…” He felt as though he carried the guilt for everything. If all those years ago, he’d pushed Matt’s hand away, told someone, none of this would have happened.

“Yes it would,” Des said.

“You have no idea what I’m thinking.”

“Yeah, I do. You were thinking if you’d never let Matt touch you, none of this would have happened. But he would have found a way. You were his obsession.”

“Brody?”

He looked up to see Henrik at the entrance to the waiting room.

“How is he?” Henrik asked.

“I don’t know.”

Henrik sat on Brody’s other side. “How are you?”

“Not good.”

“Now someone’s with you, I’m going to go and get you a drink and something to eat.” Des pushed to his feet and headed down the corridor.

“How’s Odin?” Brody asked.

“Still fine. Yeah, I keep wondering if things are going to go back the way they were. Maybe I should just accept miracles happen. Rita does.”

Brody’s head shot up.

Henrik shrugged. “Leah is well. No problem with her lungs.”

“Oh Christ.”

“Rita called to tell me when she couldn’t get in touch with you. I made her swear not to tell anyone about Aden, though how she’ll explain it to Leah’s doctor…”

“What’s happening?” Brody whispered. “How can he cure animals and a very sick kid? If the press get hold of this, they won’t leave him alone. I thought—”

“What?”

“There was something weird from the moment I met him. I hit him hard with my car. He flew over the top. There was blood on the road. His leg was bent under him but he got up and managed to walk away.”

“Sometimes people are just lucky.”

“Like when he flung himself off the barn roof to catch my nephew? They both walked away without a scratch. Matt tried to drown Brody. He thought he had. What if he really did drown him?”

Henrik stared at him. “He can’t have.”

Brody lowered his voice. “What if he couldn’t kill him because he’s already dead?”

Henrik pulled Brody into his arms. “You’re confused and overwrought. If he’s already dead, what is he doing in the operating theatre?”

Brody groaned into Henrik’s shoulder. That was true. He wasn’t thinking straight.

When a doctor came into the waiting room, Brody sprang to his feet, his fists clenched.

“You’re here for Aden North?”

Brody nodded.

“He’s out of theatre. I don’t want you to get your hopes up. He survived the surgery which was a miracle in itself, but it’s still touch and go.”

“Can I see him?” Brody asked.

“I’ll show you where to go.”

Brody turned to Henrik. “Will you wait for Des? Tell him where I am?”

“Yep.”

Brody squeezed Henrik’s hand. “Thank you for coming.”

“I hope he makes it.”

When Brody reached Aden’s bed, he bit his lip. Aden looked so still and pale. He was on a ventilator, a machine breathing for him, tubes and wires connected to his body. Brody sat at the side of the bed and put his hand over Aden’s. He’d been told he could stay as long as he wanted, provided he didn’t get in the way. Brody wasn’t going to move until Aden opened his eyes, until he knew Aden was going to be all right, and until he was sure he wasn’t going to disappear.

He clung to Aden’s hand and talked quietly to him, telling him about all the places he wanted them to visit, the things he wanted them to do. Brody drew a picture of a future together and the more he talked, the more he wanted it, but he just couldn’t quite bring himself to believe it.

Des came in and gave him a bag of food.

“Go home,” Brody said. “I’m staying.”

“Call me if there’s any change, anything you want.”

 

At two in the morning, Aden’s heart stopped, the machines sounded a warning and staff rushed to his side. Brody stepped away and watched in increasing distress as they battled to save him. He stood against the wall hoping they wouldn’t tell him to get out. It felt as if his own heart had stopped while they frantically worked to restart Aden’s. Don’t die. Don’t die. He repeated the words over and over in his head. They shocked Aden twice and when his heart was back in rhythm and he breathed again, so did Brody.

Once everything had settled and Aden was stable, Brody was allowed at his side. He put his hand on Aden’s and squeezed his fingers. “Don’t do that again.”

 

 

Aden opened his eyes to find himself standing encased in mist. Not a-fucking-gain. He waited for some disembodied hand to appear, but nothing happened. When the mist cleared, it was Dante and Raphael who stood in front of him.

Not a dream. I’m dead again. He felt a pang of regret and batted it away.

“Told you he’d fuck up,” Dante said with a smirk.

Aden glared at him.

“You’ve been a bad boy, told so many lies.” Dante glanced at Raphael. “Small ones maybe but lies none the less. You stole a phone. You took money.”

“I didn’t steal money. It was given to me. I didn’t lie about anything important.”

“You broke the rules,” Dante said. “You told Brody about this. Your mother and father are waiting. Maybe they’ll get up to their old games.”

Aden swallowed hard.

“Oh and yes, and Matt’s there too.” Dante grinned. “The pair of you can have such fun together. Well, not fun. That’s the wrong word. I might even pull you into a hell of my invention as well. For some reason, I continue to find you…intriguing.”

At least Matt couldn’t hurt Brody anymore. Don’t think about him. He tried to blank his mind of anything to do with…that person he wasn’t going to think about. Why give Dante ammunition?

Dante slid to his side and rubbed his cheek against Aden’s. “You’ll think about Brody all the time. You and Matt will fight about him forever and ever.”

Aden wouldn’t fight. He might be dead with no more resurrection cards, but he was almost happy. Matt was dead. Brody was free.

“You remember how you died?” Raphael asked him.

“I remember what happened at the concert.”

“What about this time?” Dante sneered. “You pushed Matt into stabbing you.”

“Oh yeah, I brought a knife especially for him to use.”

“Not very convincing sarcasm,” Dante said.

“I’m not responsible for actions other than my own, but I killed Matt and I take responsibility for that.”

“See?” Dante said with a laugh. “He’s learned nothing.”

“I’ve learned plenty.”

Dante crossed his arms. “Tell me.”

“I learned how to be happy, that being kind to others made me feel good, that getting to know someone, listening to what they had to say made me feel…content and trusted. I learned I’m not the only one with a fucked up life, but that it was up to me to unfuck it.”

“Your life or Brody’s?” Raphael asked.

“Mine. I wanted to help Brody too. I hope I did, but he has to sort himself out.” And now Matt was dead, Brody had a chance. “I can’t do that for him.” Aden sucked in his cheeks.

“Can you forgive those who trespassed against you?” Raphael asked.

“Those who fucked up your life?” Dante added.

“Forgive Matt for killing me and for hurting Brody? Forgive the guy who shot me and others at the concert? Forgive my father for f-fucking me?” Aden’s voice broke and he clenched his teeth to pull himself together before he could continue. “Forgive my mother for watching him in bed with me, for join…” He took a gulp of air. “Forgive her for begging me to kill her? Forgive myself for doing what she asked? Forgive myself for all the bad things I’ve done? For stealing, lying, not caring, fucking around, being a dick.” He took a deep breath. “Have I forgotten anyone, anything?”

“Answer your own questions,” Dante said.

“I can forgive Matt for stabbing me. I took the knife there. I didn’t know what was going to happen. He was messed up in his head. I don’t think he could always help himself. Except for that first time he touched Brody. I don’t forgive him for that. But hey, that’s not up to me, is it? Just like it isn’t up to me to forgive those who killed and injured the people at the concert. The guy who shot me—he was misguided, doing what he thought was right, so full of shit he couldn’t see he was wrong. I can forgive him. He’ll get what’s coming to him, I guess. My father and mother… Yeah, why not forgive them for fucking their own son.”

“You lack sincerity,” Raphael said.

“You think?”

Dante moved behind him, nipped his ear and Aden cried out.

“Do you love?” Dante whispered. “Are you loved?”

Aden’s heart tried to shred itself against his ribs. “I’m not loved. Brody probably hates me right now.”

Raphael sighed. “You really think that?”

“Maybe. I don’t want him to be sad that I died. I want him to find love and be happy.”

Raphael exchanged a glance with Dante. “Did you figure out what kind of man you are?” Raphael asked.

“The man I am? Or the man I was? You told me I had to learn about love, about how to love. You gave me a month and seven chances. My month isn’t up, is it?”

Dante grinned. “No, but your chances are. You just died again in the hospital.”

“But you were revived,” Raphael said.

Aden’s heart thumped. “So what am I doing here?”

“You hover between life and death, just as you hover between heaven and hell.” Raphael took his hand and held it tight. “Look.”

The mist cleared and Aden saw Brody sitting by a hospital bed. Holding my hand. Aden’s heart lurched and Brody spun to look at one of the monitors, his face full of concern, before he sagged and turned back again.

“You sacrificed your life in order to save his,” Raphael said. “You lost your life when you saved the little boy, but you didn’t know the outcome. With Matt, you did. You were prepared to die to save Brody. There is no greater love.”

“Except he provoked Matt into killing him,” Dante said. “Aden took a knife to that place. Killing was his intent.”

Raphael glared at Dante. “Aden was defending himself.”

“Matt was crawling away.”

“To Brody. Matt stabbed himself before I touched him,” Aden said, though he guessed they knew. “I wanted Matt to hurt me. I knew he might kill me again. My aim was that the police should arrest him. I didn’t intend to kill him. I hit his leg thinking it would slow him down, stop him getting to Brody.” He faced Dante. “Take me, then. I’ve not changed. I’m still bad.”

For one last time Aden turned to look at Brody. Brody reached out to Aden-in-the-bed and drew his finger across his cheek, then down the side of his jaw. He touched Aden’s mouth around the tube, let his fingers drift to Aden’s heart and laid his palm over it. Aden felt as if Brody was memorising his face. It made him feel precious to someone for the first time in his life and the pain and joy of that almost buckled his knees.

“He cares deeply for you,” Dante said. “But he’s not said the words.”

Raphael let out an exasperated sigh. “The words don’t need to be said. You are not taking him to hell.”

“What are you two doing?”

Raphael let go of Aden’s hand. Brody disappeared and a figure emerged from the mist. A tall guy, he had to be six five, with jet black hair and green eyes, came right up to them. He stared at Aden, then looked between Raphael and Dante.

Raphael dipped his head. “Gabriel.”

“Brother.” Dante smirked.

“Explain,” the new guy snapped.

“He grew one black and one white wing,” Raphael said. “I thought he had a chance of salvation.”

“Or damnation.” Dante scowled. “We gave him the chance to fuck up and he did. He’s mine.”

“You do not make those decisions. And you interfered, Dante. You think the visits you made went unnoticed? Turning Enoch into a horse? The business in the charity shop?”  He glanced at Raphael. “You interfered as well. The manager in the supermarket, the waitress in the café. Probably other times by both of you.”

“Apologies,” Raphael said.

Dante snorted. “Rules are there to break. You’re not in charge of me.”

“While you work with Raphael, I am.” Gabriel glowered at them. “Animals were inexplicably made well. A child was cured of a terrible disease. That down to you, Raphael?”

Raphael bit his lip.

Aden had a sinking feeling in his stomach. Just how much had this pair influenced what happened?

“He should not have been able to do those things,” Gabriel said. “Now I’ve had to interfere to ensure no further repercussions.” He turned to Aden. “You don’t get second chances when you’re dead. You’ve made your bed and must lie in it. An unfortunate cliché but a true one.”

Aden met his gaze and didn’t flinch.

“But the second chance was given. Too many lives have been altered for me to take it back. Raphael made a valid observation about your history. You have done bad things, but you’ve also been brave and selfless. Since your return to earth you have shown your spirit, opened your heart. Moreover, you’re still alive. You shouldn’t be here. These two now have lessons of their own to learn. You can go back.”

Aden should have wanted to go back, he did want to but how did he know that the relationship between him and Brody was real?

“Don’t worry,” Gabriel said. “What happens, is up to you. Do you wish to return?”

“To when?” Aden’s pulse was racing.

The man smiled and Aden could have sworn the air shimmered. “A good question. You want your chance at childhood again? Another opportunity to escape that terrorist? To avoid killing Matt? Or will you take the risk of not recovering from the injuries Matt inflicted?”

Aden didn’t even have to think. “I’ll go back to now with my injuries, with every memory intact, including the bad ones. For the first time in my life, I have someone who wants me to live.”

 

 

Brody had barely moved from Aden’s side over the last forty-eight hours. There had been some scares but he was off the ventilator and no longer in an induced coma. All he had to do was wake. Brody had used up every one of his wishes and hopes. He felt if he lost Aden, he’d lost his chance for happiness.

He had his head resting on the bed next to Aden’s hand when he heard his name.

“Bro…dy.”

Brody jerked upright, but Aden still had his eyes closed.

“Did you speak?” he whispered.

Aden opened his eyes.

“Oh God,” Brody whispered.

“You’re awake? That’s good.” A doctor came up to the bed.

Brody stepped back while she checked Aden out. He felt as if he might be the one having a heart attack now. He was so overwhelmed with relief, he had to lean against the wall to keep himself upright.

By the time he was allowed back to Aden’s side, Aden was unconscious again. Brody slumped in the chair. The adrenaline that had kept him awake had gone. Exhaustion dragged him to join Aden in sleep.

 

Brody woke to find Aden staring at him.

“You look…like shit,” Aden said croakily.

Brody laughed. “You look fantastic.”

“Liar.”

The joy in being able to laugh was enough to bring a lump to Brody’s throat.

“I feel crap,” Aden whispered.

“Yeah, well, didn’t anyone tell you it was dangerous to play with knives?”

“In my excitement…I forgot.”

Aden drifted off to sleep again but there was a smile on his face.

 

The next time Aden woke, Brody told him the police had been to the hospital, but the doctors had said he wasn’t well enough to talk to them.

“It isn’t as if it’s an emergency,” Brody said. “There’s no one to arrest.”

“Matt?”

Shit. Doesn’t he know? “Matt’s dead.”

“Right.”

Aden didn’t look surprised. “Just wanted to be sure.”

“It was self-defense,” Brody said. “I saw him stab you. He kept stabbing you.”

“I provoked him.”

“Deliberately?”

He waited but Aden remained silent and the pain meds took him under.

 

When Aden woke, Brody smiled at him. Aden had more colour in his cheeks.

“You live here?” Aden rasped.

“Temporarily. The police gave me my phone back. I got one for you.” He nodded to the side table. “In case you want me and I’m not here. In case you want—”

“Phone sex?”

“In your state?”

Aden slid his hand under the cover, made a tent over his groin and pushed it up so high that Brody laughed. “Someone will see.”

“Don’t give a fuck.” But he took his hand out again.

“I got your text message by the way, just before you met Matt.”

“What did I say? Don’t forget to ride Captain?”

“You said you were sorry there was no perfect ending but that I was perfect to you.”

“Autocorrect fucking up again.”

“Right. But there is a perfect ending.”

“A happy ever after?”

“We can make it happen.”

Aden nodded and although Brody would have liked a more positive response, he’d take that.

“The police should reopen the investigation into your parents’ death,” Aden whispered.

Brody stiffened. “What?”

“Things Matt said to me made me think he’d caused the crash.”

It was a moment before Brody could speak. “Shit.”

“Not just that. I think Matt strangled Peter with the reins. I know telling you that sort of makes it worse, but you aren’t responsible for what that fuckhead did.”

Brody knew that he was, because if he’d never been involved with Matt, his parents might still be alive. Oh God, and Peter?

He took Aden’s hand in his. “I need to tell you something as well. I know you were trying to keep a low profile but your photo’s been in the paper. Your heroics at the Octoplex.”

“I think I can forget about that job.”

Brody bit back his retort. He wanted Aden to tell him the truth, that there was never any job, but he could wait. “I’m sorry for thinking you were on the run from the police. They say you’re not a person of interest.”

“Charming.” Aden huffed.

Brody smiled. “I think you’re very interesting. So do a group of other people. Ones who saw your photo.”

Aden stared at him.

“You saved lives, helped people hide. They want to thank you. The only thing that doesn’t make sense is that one guy in particular is convinced you were shot. You sheltered him, and he thought they’d killed you. He said he was covered in your blood.”

“Hmm.”

“Meaning?”

“You’re seen me naked. Notice any bullet holes?”

“No. But is it true what that group of survivors is saying? You led them away, gave your hiding place to a teenager, were shot but resisted, then protected that guy?”

“I’d…just fucked the guy I ended up on the floor with. I did try to shield him, but the rest is a blur. I blanked it out.”

Something wasn’t right about that. Why remember part of it and not all? But Brody let it go. “The other thing I need to tell you is that Leah’s better.”

“That’s good.”

“Going to tell me how you managed that?”

“I have no idea.”

“Don’t lie to me.”

“I’m not. I don’t know how I did it.”

Brody’s cheek twitched. “But you know why she got better?”

Aden’s eyes darkened. “I have my suspicions.”

“Going to share them?”

“I already told you. You didn’t believe me. I’m fairly sure I’m not supposed to tell the rest of it now. Though if by chance you hit on the right answer, I promise not to lie to you.”

What was he talking about? “Are you from outer space?” Brody blurted.

“No. I’m as human as you.” Aden sighed. “Although you look terrible. Want to get into bed with me?”

Brody managed a laugh and accepted the distraction. “The stupid little fucker in my jeans thinks that’s a great idea. The more sensible part of me knows it isn’t. Does the doctor say you’re going to be okay?”

“Apparently, I’ll need looking after for a while. Like to volunteer?”

Only for the rest of your life.

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