A month later

Aden sat on an Adirondack chair in the back garden of the cottage, his face tipped up to the falling snow. Every now and again, he licked a snowflake from his lips. Although he wore a hat, jacket and gloves, he was cold, but snow falling in March never lasted long. He wasn’t going to freeze. It was just that every now and again Aden liked to remind himself he was still alive.

He’d been advised to apply to the Criminal Injuries Board for compensation and had refused. There were worthier people. Apparently he could have claimed against Matt’s estate. As if Aden would take money from the man’s wife and kids. Money wasn’t as important to him as it once had been and Aden had brought this on himself.

The police had taken another look at the car accident that killed Brody’s parents and discovered Matt had had his car in a repair shop around that time. His wife remembered because they’d been due to go on a trip to Scotland and had to postpone. But the body shop had changed owners, the car sold on. Proving Matt caused the crash would have been difficult and neither Brody nor Des thought it worth the time and effort now Matt was dead. Another look at Peter’s death had put Matt in the vicinity and the police had reopened the investigation, for all the good it would do but Aden knew Brody felt terrible for Peter’s family.

Aden said no to an award for his actions at the Octoplex. Maybe he had been brave, but he’d survived and others hadn’t. The only thing he’d agreed to do was speak to the guy he’d sheltered in the corridor, the one he’d fucked. The man’s name was Kev and his sister had written to Aden via the police to ask him to talk to her brother. Kev was suffering from PTSD and convinced Aden was dead even after he’d seen the story of his stabbing in the news.

One afternoon, when Brody was at work, Kev had come with his sister. She ushered him into the cottage then waited in her car. Kev had cried in Aden’s arms as he’d gone over what had happened. Aden wasn’t sure he managed to convince Kev that he hadn’t been shot, even after he’d showed him his chest and back. Stab wounds didn’t look like bullet holes. But when he left, the guy seemed brighter somehow, less bowed by survivor guilt. When Brody came home and Aden told him how things had gone, Brody had hugged him and said he’d done a good thing.

He and Brody hadn’t fucked yet, not even given each other blow jobs. They were sleeping in separate beds because Brody was afraid of hurting him. The doctors said to wait a month and Brody had been marking the days off every night on a calendar with a dramatic flourish which made Aden smile. But before they did anything, Aden wanted to tell Brody his other secrets.

Brody’s vehicle pulled up at the front of the house. Aden heard Brody calling him from inside and then he was outside, kissing the snow from Aden’s face.

“What are you doing, you loon?” Brody sat on the arm of the chair. “Are you okay?”

“I’m fine. Snow bathing. Had a good day?”

“Did an op on a little dog, put bolts in his spine and he should be able to walk again. Bionic dachshund. What about you?”

“I managed to do a Fiendish Sudoku.”

“Did you cheat?”

“I always cheat. They’re too hard.” Aden pulled Brody down and kissed him, sliding his tongue over Brody’s. “Mind you I do like hard things.”

Brody groaned and tried to pull back. Aden yanked him round until Brody was sitting astride his lap. Brody tried to keep the kiss soft but Aden wasn’t having that. He sucked on Brody’s tongue and Brody whimpered into his mouth.

“I was thinking maybe we could get a dog,” Brody said. “What do you think?”

Aden tensed and Brody pulled back to look into his face. 

“You don’t want one?” Brody asked.

“Not yet. I want to tell you something.”

“Out here?”

“Yeah. I don’t want inside corrupted by the story. You warm enough?”

Brody nodded. He still had his coat on. Aden buttoned it up for him.

“What do you want to talk about?”

“My parents.”

“Okay.”

Aden took a deep breath. “I don’t suppose they were the world’s worst parents, but it felt like it to me. They grew pot, smoked it, sold it. They…sexually assaulted me.”

Brody drew in a breath. “You told me—”

“I know and that guy did fuck me when I was taken into care, but my father did it first.”

“Jesus, Aden. They were the world’s worst parents.”

“They were always arguing or fighting or fucking. All of it in front of me.” He gave a short laugh. “They’d met at school, were still together fifteen years later and in their own warped way, they were devoted to one another. Mum thought the world of Dad even when he clocked her one. When she hit him back, he used to laugh and say he deserved it. I bet your parents never hit each other.”

Brody shook his head.

“The night they died, it was about eight o’ clock and I was in my bed behind the couch where they slept. Dad was out. Mum was in, drunk and stoned, lying watching TV. Dad got back, drunk and pissed off because he was hungry and there was nothing to eat. They screamed at one another and it seemed more vicious than normal. I put my fingers in my ears and buried my head under my blanket like I usually did, hoping they forgot I was there.”

Brody tried to shift his weight off Aden and Aden kept him where he was.

“You’re not heavy,” Aden said. “Stay there. Keep me from running.”

Brody sighed.

“Mum was screaming. Dad was yelling at her to put the knife down and there was this loud bang.” He took a shaky breath. “I knew it was a gun but I’d never seen one in the house. I heard Dad groaning, saying he was sorry, he hadn’t meant to shoot her. Then the gun went off again and all I could hear was this bubbling sound. I crawled out from behind the couch. Most of my dad’s head was spattered over the wall and the TV. He’d shot himself. My mother had…lost half her face and I thought she was dead too but she wasn’t.”

“Christ.”

“She looked at me and I could see she was trying to say something so I went over to her. I think I was expecting her to say sorry.” Aden sucked in his cheeks. “She said—finish me.”

“Oh God.” Brody bit his lip.

“There was a knife on the floor by her hand. Blood on it. I found out later, she’d stabbed my dad. She looked at me with…the one eye she had left and said—do it.” Aden closed his eyes. “I don’t think I could have if she hadn’t said the next word. Please. She fucking said please.” He took a deep breath and opened his eyes again. “She’d never said please to me in her life, or thank you, or I love you. Just fuck off, you little shit or I wish you’d never been born.”

“Aden,” Brody whispered.

“She wrapped her fingers around the knife and couldn’t lift it. Fumbled for my hand, put it around hers and I lifted her hand that held the knife. She was the one who put it in position over her heart but she couldn’t push down. She said please again and I looked at what was left of her face, I could see her brain, and thought she was going to die anyway, and maybe my life would be better if…oh shit. I pressed the knife down and I watched her die.”

Aden tipped his head back gulping cold air trying to freeze his pain. Brody took his hands, held them tight and Aden gripped him back.

“Her prints were on the knife, not mine. It would be comforting to think she’d tried to make it look as though I’d had nothing to do with it, but that would be giving her credit for something she never intended. The one time in her life she needed me was to help her die. I often wondered if the police suspected, but nothing was ever said and I’ve never told anyone. Not until now. My big secret. One of them. If I could go back, I wouldn’t have done it. They might have been able to save her, reconstruct her face. I can’t help but think she didn’t want to live without my dad. I didn’t matter. I’ve never mattered to anyone.”

“You matter to me.”

Aden swallowed at the lump in his throat. “Why? I’m a broken wreck. I had a fucked up childhood and grew up into a fucked up man. All I can do is serve behind a bar, mend cars or soothe bad-tempered horses.”

“And fuck like a demon.” Brody’s smile faded when Aden didn’t laugh. “Hey, you can do anything you want, anything you set your heart on. I’ll help you. What do you want to be?”

“A porn star.”

Brody laughed. “What else? Sing? I’ve heard you sing. You’re good.”

“Not that good. I’m not going to waste my life following an impossible dream.”

“That’s not a waste. Dreams can come true. Apart from you making it as a porn star. That’s not going to happen.”

Aden pouted. “I’d be okay if I could get someone to practice on.”

“Three more days and you can have all the practice you want.”

“You don’t care about what I did?”

“Of course I fucking care. I’m horrified at what you had to go through. Does it make me feel any different about you? No. I just… I want… I want to make things better. I want our lives to be better.”

“Start now.” Aden nudged Brody off his knee then stood. “Not three days. Now. I can’t wait any longer.” He pulled Brody into his arms and pressed his mouth to his ear. “I want to taste you, feel you, make you come in my mouth. I might not fuck you like a demon. Maybe you’ll get the angel first time. But I will fuck you. I’m not listening to no. I’m fine. I’m beginning to think there’s some other reason you’ve been sleeping away from me. I did have a bath the week before last.”

Brody groaned and laughed at the same time. “Okay. I give in.”

Aden tugged him toward the cottage and they fumbled their way inside, dropping their coats on the floor. Aden slammed Brody back against the door.

“Hey, be gentle with me,” Brody said. “I’ve recently had a very worrying time.”

Aden dropped to his knees and mouthed Brody’s cock through his trousers, smiling as it swelled.

“Oh God.” Brody gripped his head. “Hurry up.”

Aden laughed. “Mr. Romantic.” He pulled out Brody’s shirt, unbuttoned and unzipped his pants and eased Brody’s cock from the confines of his shorts. The sharp tang of arousal made Aden’s mouth water and his own cock twitch. He slid his hands up under Brody’s shirt, over his flat stomach to his nipples, then pinched them as he engulfed Brody’s cock, swallowing him down to the root.

The way Brody groaned, it sounded as if he was dying, and as soon as Aden had slid his lips back to the tip, he took him deep into his throat again just for the pleasure in hearing that sound. Brody’s chest heaved under Aden’s hands as his breathing grew choppier.

Aden let him out of his mouth and looked up at him. “Want to come fast or slow?”

“Arrghh. You honestly think I have any choice? Just let me come.”

Aden brought one hand down and wrapped it around the base of Brody’s cock. He licked a leisurely path from tip to root and back, then sucked the crest, worked just the head, swirling his tongue, dipping into the slit to steal precome while Brody’s thighs trembled against his chest and his fingers tightened in Aden’s hair. Aden moaned as he sucked, letting Brody’s dick slide in his mouth and press inside his cheek. He brought his other hand down from Brody’s chest and caught Brody’s fingers, pressing his palm against the bulge in his face so he could feel his cock surge under the skin of his cheek.

“Fu…fu…fuck,” Brody gasped and bucked against Aden’s face.

Aden gently took Brody’s balls in his hand and Brody’s cries became desperate.

“I can’t…” Brody muttered, then his entire body shuddered as he spurted into Aden’s mouth.

It was all Aden could do not to come as well. He felt like he had two heartbeats. One in his chest, the other in his dick and they were beating out of sync. He swallowed every last drop of come and Brody’s hold on his hair loosened as he slid down from the high.

“Sorry,” Brody gasped the word.

Aden pulled off him with a quiet pop and licked his lips. “For what?”

“Going off like a rocket.” He pulled Aden to his feet and kissed him. “Sure you’re okay?”

Aden put his hand over Brody’s mouth. “You’re no longer allowed to ask me if I’m okay. Okay? Unless I’m dangling from a precipice or about to get run over. Then take it that I’m not okay and help me.”

Brody licked his palm and Aden moved his hand.

Brody stared into his eyes. “Fuck, you are so gorgeous.”

“You are allowed to say that. Often as you like.”

Brody chuckled and buried his face in Aden’s neck.

“If I wasn’t good looking, would you still let me fuck you?” Aden asked.

“Yeah, but you wouldn’t get breakfast in bed.”

“Thank fuck I’m gorgeous. I’m wondering how long I can stretch this recuperation. Breakfast in bed is such a luxury. No one’s ever done that for me before. Even though you don’t cook the bacon long enough and the toast’s always a bit cool and—”

“Watch it.” Brody lifted his head and glared.

“We’re okay, aren’t we?”

“So you’re allowed to say it?” Brody smiled. “More than okay. You’re everything I want, everything I need, everything I didn’t know I was looking for.” He slid his hand over the bulge in Aden’s trousers.

“Just at this moment anyway,” Aden said.

“More than this moment.”

“Speak for yourself. I need you right now.”

Aden pulled off his clothes on the way to the bedroom. When he turned to face Brody, he saw the Adam’s apple shift in his throat, his gaze fixed on Aden’s chest.

“I’m still here,” Aden said. “I didn’t die.”

Brody ran his thumb over the scars left by Matt’s knife attack. “Yeah, you did, but you came back.”

Oh fuck. Little did he know. “Good job I’ve got a pretty face,” Aden said. “And a magical twinkling dick.”

Brody rolled his eyes but Aden knew that had stopped him going any further down the path of thinking about what Matt had done.

“Lie down,” Brody said. “I don’t want you to overexert yourself or your magic dick.”

Aden lay on his back and Brody crawled onto him, supporting his weight on his elbows. As Brody bent to kiss him, Aden’s cock twitched against Brody’s in a kiss of its own. Aden slid his hands over Brody’s arse and rocked up against him. He felt supercharged with excitement, flicking between relaxation and tension as his balls wound up. He dug his heels into the bed as they ground their bodies against each other.

When they ran out of air they broke apart and gasped in unison.

I’d give him my last breath. The thought made Aden’s heart leap.

Brody smiled down at him. “They’ve done research on why we close our eyes when we’re kissing.”

“Who says I close my eyes? You do. I don’t.”

“Yes you do.”

“Okay, smart arse.” Aden squeezed Brody’s butt and ground his aching cock against Brody’s growing one. “Why do we close our eyes? Because we can’t focus so close in?”

“That’s true but they discovered when people want to concentrate on tactile sensations, they often shut their eyes. Allows your brain to pay attention to other parts of the experience. If you’re focused on a visual task, you’re less aware of other stimuli. Visual sensations overrule tactile ones. Which is why when I look into your eyes, I forget my name. And why a pilot who’s staring at his controls might miss a vibrating warning device.”

“Thank you, professor. I’ve noticed you’re ignoring my vibrating warning device. I’ve been waiting for a bit of tactile sensation for a month.” But when Brody tried to slide down the bed, Aden stopped him. “Let’s pretend I’ve played with you for a bit. I need your arse. Now.” He rolled so that Brody lay beneath him. “We’re going to experiment. See if you can keep your eyes open.”

Aden fluttered his tongue over one of Brody’s nipples and Brody shut his eyes. They both laughed. Aden shifted his hips back and forth, dragging his cock through the junction of Brody’s hips, rubbing his balls and cock, and knew at that moment, he would never do this with anyone else ever again. He didn’t want anyone else. He only wanted Brody. The thought made him choke up.

He took the lube from Brody’s outstretched hand.

“Thank you, Harry Potter. We need more magic. Where’s the condom?”

“I want you without.”

The breath stuttered in Aden’s chest. “Oh fuck.”

More precome leaked from Aden’s cock.

“Without what?” Aden muttered. “Without wisecracks? Without my filthy mouth?”

“You know what I mean and where is this filthy mouth?”

“Too interested in your sweet mouth.” Aden gave him a wide-mouthed kiss, pulling back to nip Brody’s upper lip.

“You don’t normally take this long.” Brody slid his legs out from under Aden and pulled them up either side of his hips.

“You sure about this?” Aden asked.

“Yes.”

“I’ve never…”

“Nor me.” Brody stared into his eyes.

Aden spread the lube over Brody’s hole, working it around the ring of muscle and just inside. Brody’s cock was filling again. Aden slid a finger into him and Brody moaned. Aden curled his finger and a single touch of that small bundle of nerves had Brody arching into him like a cat.

“Oh that feels…ohh.”

“I wanted to go slow,” Aden whispered, “wanted to savour this but it’s like putting triple cooked chips in front of me and not expecting me to wolf them down.”

“I’m not better than triple cooked chips?”

“We’ll have to see.” Aden’s heart was beating so fast he was having trouble breathing.

Brody stared into his eyes. “I need to be fucked right now.”

“Pushy.”

“Yeah, when I want something.”

Aden positioned himself at the entrance to Brody’s body and pressed in at the same time as he brought his lips down on Brody’s. He captured Brody’s low hiss before their mouths meshed together. Aden kept pushing his cock into Brody until he was in as far as he could go. When Brody’s muscles rippled and clenched around him, Aden made a noise that sounded far too close to a whine.

“That feels so good,” Aden gasped. “Hot and tight and perfect.”

Aden pulled back so he was right out of Brody’s arse, then shoved back inside. Brody groaned but Aden groaned louder as muscles clamped around his dick.

“Okay?” Aden managed to ask.

“I thought we weren’t using that word.” Brody gave a dry, brief chuckle.

The exquisite clamp of Brody’s muscles drove rational thought from Aden’s head and fired the starting pistol on his orgasm, now on a dash to the finish. Brody lifted into his thrust as Aden powered into him. He knew from Brody’s startled gasp that he’d hit his prostate and he made sure he kept hitting it. Aden’s body was instantly caught in the equivalent of a riptide. He was dragged deeper, further out and didn’t fight it. He went with it, let it hold him, swallow him, drag him into a whirlpool, steal his breath, steal his heart.

Brody jerked himself off as Aden increased his speed, fucking him into the bed, pounding into him as Brody bucked up to meet him.

“Fucking hell,” Aden gasped. “You are so fucking hot.”

The world shimmered out of focus as pressure built in Aden’s head. His eyes were closed and he opened them to see Brody staring at him, breathing hard, a smile on his face.

Lights exploded in Aden’s head as orgasm ripped through his body like a violent tornado. His back arched, his cock pulsing and jerking in Brody’s arse and he gave a long, blissful cry of happiness.

Brody pulled him down and Aden felt the wetness between them, belatedly realising Brody had come again. When he slumped at Brody’s side, Brody leaned over him. “You okay—damn—still breathing?”

“Yeah. Just.”