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Dirty Angel by Barbara Elsborg (8)

 

 

Aden looked at what Brody was holding, realized it was his shirt and sighed. He should have thought to take it with him instead of stuffing it in the bin.

“I’m fine.” When he reached for the shirt, Brody pulled it away.

“I need to talk to you.”

Aden stood aside. Brody removed his footwear just inside the door.

“Want a drink? Tea, coffee, water. All I’ve got, sorry.”

“No, I’m good.”

Aden headed down the hallway to the main room with Brody on his heels.

“I was surprised when I saw you tonight,” Brody said.

“Yeah, I noticed. Des said I could stay here for a week and work for him until guests arrive. I’d have been stupid to turn that down.”

Aden sat on the chair rather than the couch and lounged with his legs crossed at the ankle. He glanced at the shirt in Brody’s hand, then looked straight at Brody. “Not worth washing it.”

“A couple of hundred quid shirt isn’t worth washing?” Brody dropped onto the couch and put the shirt on the coffee table. “I hurt you when I hit you with my car.”

“No, you didn’t.”

“That’s covered in blood. Are you saying it’s not your blood?”

“No, it’s mine.”

“So what happened?”

“I had my wings ripped off.” His heart thumped. Was some thunderbolt going to strike him down? No.

“Alternatively?”

Of course Brody didn’t believe him. “I had a nose bleed. A bad one. I took my shirt off and held the back of it against my face. I had to put it back on. I didn’t have anything else to wear and figured no one would see it.”

That was a terrible lie. He needed a quick distraction. “Are you and Scandi-boy fucking?”

Brody started at the question, then smiled. “Scandi-boy?”

“Give him an axe and a beard and he’d look like some Viking warrior. Is he from Norway?”

“Yes, he’s from Norway, and no, we’re not fucking. I’m not interested in him like that.”

“But he is in you.”

Brody hesitated, then nodded.

“Why doesn’t he interest you?”

“He’s too…pleasant.”

“Ah, not a pillaging, plundering Viking warrior.” Aden gave a throaty chuckle. “You don’t like nice boys then?”

“I like you.” Brody stared straight at him.

The air in the room thickened to the point that it became hard to breathe.

Aden swallowed hard. “You want someone dangerous, someone you can’t trust? That’s not playing safe.”

“Who says I like to play safe?”

Aden looked at Brody’s fingers where they curled around the arm of the couch. Long fingers, short nails, strong hands. Don’t think about what they could do, how they’d feel on your body, wrapped around your cock, touching your face. Aden found his heart beginning to race. “Then that’s not very sensible of you.”

“I know, but I like bad boys.”

Aden was out of his depth already. He didn’t do talking. He fucked or didn’t fuck. He could guess what Brody wanted—rough sex, maybe slightly abusive sex where he got knocked around enough to turn him on. Aden could do that, but… There was that fucking but again.

“Are you dangerous?” Brody asked.

“Very. Not safe, not trustworthy, not a good guy, but I’m trying to be a better one.”

“Don’t.”

Aden laughed. His cock pushed against his zipper. The idea of messing around with Brody was fast turning into a firm plan. All he needed to do was get up, walk across the room and make it happen. But then, so did Brody and he looked glued to the couch, his fingers clenched tight. Aden wasn’t sure this guy knew what he wanted. Brody’s immobility told him that.

“What do you like?” Aden made sure he kept his tone quiet and even. “Are you into bondage? Like to be tied up? Have clamps fastened on your nipples? Or on your cock? Do you like to be played with? Whipped? Humiliated? Pissed on? Do you want to do that to others? Do you top, bottom, switch? Take poppers? Use other drugs? You have access to all sorts of stuff, don’t you? Ketamine for a start. Are you into threesomes? Orgies? Role play?” The corner of his mouth twitched. “Or do you simply prefer a bit of rough? Like to go trawling for guys who’ll knock you around, treat you like dirt because you don’t think you deserve any better?”

“I didn’t ask for this,” Brody snapped and gestured to his face. “I didn’t ask to—”

“Didn’t ask to what?”

“Nothing.” Brody ground his teeth so hard Aden heard them squeak.

He bristled at the thought of Brody being beaten up against his will. He’d assumed Brody had wanted those bruises and he shouldn’t have.

“I was mugged, okay? That’s how I got the marks on my face.”

But Brody’s gaze shifted slightly as he said that and Aden suspected he’d not heard the whole truth.

“Yeah, I like rough sex,” Brody said quietly. “The marks on my face could have come from that, but this time they didn’t.”

“Have you ever been hurt more than you wanted?”

Brody shifted on the couch, then nodded.

Oh shit, had he been raped? “I’d never do that. I’m no angel but do have lines I won’t cross. Non-consensual stuff is not my thing.”

“Nor mine,” Brody whispered.

Aden didn’t miss the pain in his face. “Maybe you need someone to show you the right way to play.”

Brody sucked in his cheeks. “And that guy’s you?”

Aden shook his head. “No. I need showing the better way myself. You think you’ve been hurt? Well, I could hurt you more without meaning to.” He leaned forward. “You want gentle? That’s not me. Looking for love? Hell, I don’t know what the fuck that is. I never had it as a kid. Nor as an adult. Then again, maybe that’s exactly what I’m looking for. Maybe love could save me, stop me falling.”

“The right love can.”

“But how to find it? To be honest, I suspect it’s too late for me. I’m already sliding rapidly downhill to hell. I’m damned. I can’t change fate.” Can I?

Aden leaned back feeling uncomfortable, regretting saying some of that, all of that. What the hell’s got into me? Plus wasn’t that what he was trying to do? Change fate?

“Fate.” Brody huffed. “So fate meant instead of meeting a guy online or in a club or on Grindr, I was destined to knock you over with my car close to where I live, so that you’d seek shelter at my brother’s farm and be here when Jamie fell off the roof, and my brother would offer you work and a place to stay and you’d end up living next door to me. That sort of fate?”

“I was thinking more in terms of being the guy I’ve been destined to be, that maybe there’s some things that can’t be changed.”

“We can all change.”

Aden raised his eyebrows. “You think?”

“Yes, otherwise what’s the point? Life’s one long lesson. We keep trying to change. We never stop learning. We adapt, we evolve.”

So why didn’t Aden quite believe him? “You’re saying you’ve changed?”

“I want my life to be different. I want to be…normal.”

“Normal? That’s boring.”

“I mean not fucked up. That’s why I’m here in Surrey living in a cottage belonging to my brother. This is my new start.”

“But a few days ago you were beaten up, were…” Aden left the blank for him to fill in.

“Mugged,” Brody snapped. “I was careless, didn’t keep my wits about me, took a short cut I shouldn’t have, but it doesn’t alter the fact that I want my life to change for the better. I want to be happy. I want to enjoy things. I don’t want to be looking over my shoulder worrying. I want to live.”
         Aden frowned. What the fuck had happened to Brody? They’d moved away from talking about sexual preferences to something entirely different.

“Don’t you want a better life?” Brody asked.

Aden didn’t answer.

“Are you really doing this survival thing for a month to get a job?”

“My future is riding on it.” Which wasn’t a lie.

Brody locked gazes with him. “Have you just come out of prison?”

Aden raised his eyebrows. “No. I’ve never been in prison, but if we’re being honest here, that’s only because I’ve never been caught.”

“What have you done?”

“You name it, I’ve done it.” Aden crossed his ankles the other way. “I told you I was dangerous.”

“That should be putting me off, but it isn’t.”

Aden’s cock pulsed.

What the hell am I doing?

I want him to go.

I need him to stay.

“I know why you’re here,” Aden said.

“I’m still waiting for that cup of sugar.”

Aden laughed.

Brody stared at him.

“We could fuck,” Aden said. “But…”

“What’s the but?”

“Despite my claim to be a bad guy, I find I care whether or not I hurt you.”

“I thought you’d already figured out I was someone who liked to be hurt.”

Aden shook his head. “I don’t think you’ve figured out what you want. You’ve told me you’re not happy. The Brody on the TV is not the guy who’s sitting opposite me now. At work you come off as cheerful, secure, confident. Your eyes shine. You’re a good guy. I don’t see that here. No happiness, no confidence.” He frowned. “I’m not sure I understand you.”

“I’m not surprised. I don’t understand myself. You’re right. I’m not feeling confident at all. I know I shouldn’t trust you. You don’t need to tell me that, but you interest me more than you can know.”

“I’m nothing. I’ve done nothing and I’m going nowhere. A waste of oxygen.”

“No, you’re not. What do you do for a living? What did you do before this…prolonged job interview?”

“Mended things. Cars mostly. Maybe Des’s tractor tomorrow, if I can.”

“I mend animals. You repair engines. And we’re both crap with people.”

Aden smiled. “I am, you’re not. You know how to talk to people. You were really good with your clients. You cared and they could see that. They respected you.”

“Clients are one thing. Guys I fancy something else entirely.”

Aden thought about that. “With me, what you see is what you get. I lie, fuck around, drink too much. I’ve taken more than my fair share of drugs, though I’m not an addict nor an alcoholic. But I’m a thief and I’m good at it. You have something I like the look of, you better nail it down. A coat from a bar? It’s now mine. Party at someone’s house? I’d leave with something that didn’t belong to me. An expensive shirt, CD, wallet, phone. I like nice things. I can’t afford them so I take them. Sometimes I take an item just because I can. Like another man’s guy. I’m a user. I don’t get to know people and I don’t let them get to know me.”

“So you tell everyone you’re a thief, do you?”

Aden laughed. “I’m just trying to make you see what I am.”

“You’ve not stolen from me. You took nothing from me that I didn’t freely give. You refused the money I offered.”

“I’m trying to be good.”

“And I’m trying to get to know you.”

Aden chewed his lip. “I don’t usually talk to guys. I just fuck them.” He exhaled. “Maybe I’m lying about the month and the job. Maybe I’m lying about the nosebleed and prison. The one truly honest thing I can say to you is that you shouldn’t trust me nor rely on me. You want a better life? Well, your life would be better if you’d never met me.” He pushed to his feet. “You ought to leave now before I do something we’ll both regret.”

“Such as?”

“Strip you out of those clothes and fuck you.”

“Go ahead.”

Aden groaned. “I don’t want to hurt you.”

Brody stood, his fists clenching and unclenching. “I want you more now than I did before I walked in. I finally meet a guy as mixed up as me? What is there not to like? I’ve made too many mistakes in my life. I’m not letting this chance slip away. What can a week hurt, just to see if we have something? We do have something but what if it’s more than just lust? I’m not that kinky. I don’t want to be whipped or pissed on. I like…” He gave a quiet laugh. “I don’t fucking know what I like. I need to start over.”

“I don’t think you’re what I need,” Aden said quietly and it crippled him to say that.

“Why not?”

“Because we’ve both been hurt enough. We won’t be good together.”

“Sure you’re not afraid we might be too good?” Brody clenched his fists and this time didn’t unclench them.

Damn fucking Raphael. How could this be right?

“Maybe we can mend each other,” Brody said.

“In a week? Maybe in a book or a film, not in real life. I’m fucked and fucked up. There’s no way back for me.” Aden wasn’t going to take someone down with him. If there was any spark of decency inside him, he had to push Brody away—hard.

“You’re looking for something, someone, but it’s not me,” Aden said.

“What if it is?” Brody stepped right up to him, invaded his space. “What if it fucking well is you?”

Aden’s heart surged into his throat.

“Can I kiss you?” Brody asked.

Aden held his ground. “You’re not a top then.”

That earned him a glower. “Because I asked? That doesn’t make me submissive. It makes me courteous, thoughtful, respectful.”

“Qualities of no interest to me.”

“Fuck me now,” Brody snapped.

Aden burst out laughing and Brody smiled.

“Notice I didn’t say please.”

“Yeah, I noticed.”

“I like to be fucked, but maybe I like fucking too.” Brody stared into his eyes.

Aden thought how appearances could be deceiving. Brody was a good-looking man who seemed bright and self-assured. But there was something lurking beneath the surface, something that made Aden think he knew nothing about this guy apart from him mourning a dead boyfriend. Brody put his hand on Aden’s waist and slid his fingers under the T-shirt onto bare flesh. Aden’s skin fluttered and his pulse jumped.

“I haven’t had much chance to find out whether I like topping.” Brody rubbed inside the top of Aden’s jeans with his thumb. Aden’s cock did its best to unfurl in a confined space.

“Doesn’t that say you’re not the guy in charge?”

A shadow shifted over Brody’s face. In a rare moment of insightfulness, Aden understood some aspect of Brody’s problems. He’d been with a dominant man, maybe the dead one, but had figured out that wasn’t what he needed. Maybe he could help the guy without wrecking his life.

“We don’t need to get involved,” Brody said.

That should have been what Aden wanted to hear. They’d fuck around, Brody would realize there was more to life than letting someone abuse him and Aden would walk away chalking up a good deed.

“This doesn’t have to be anything more than enjoying ourselves,” Brody said. “Maybe you’re right. Better if it isn’t.”

So why didn’t Aden like hearing that? The sword that Dante was dangling over his head swung lower. Whatever he and Brody got up to had to be more than sex if Aden stood any chance of avoiding hell. He made sure his face showed nothing. If they fucked now, he was going to ruin something. That was the feeling he had, though ruin what? Hope? Was he going to snuff out a spark of some unidentified emotion that was more than lust but most definitely not love? Had he ever walked away when a fuck was on the cards? No, because he was a user. I won’t change. I can’t.

Yes you can.

“You should leave.” Aden could hardly believe the words had come out of his mouth.

Brody’s eyes widened in surprise and his nostrils flared. “Okay.”

He walked back to the hallway and Aden’s throat hurt. He’d wondered if the guy would ask him again, touch him again. He was glad he hadn’t, glad that Brody had some pride. But…

Brody had his boots on and was reaching for the handle when Aden pulled him round, and pinned him against the wall. He pressed his forearms on either side of Brody’s upper chest and stared into his eyes. He knew he ought to let him go. They were not well matched. He was about to undo all the good he’d done. They’d drag each other down the wrong path, but Aden just had to see, just had to know what that spark meant, if one kiss would ignite something, and if it did how bright would it burn, how long would it continue to burn?

He moved fractionally closer until he was breathing the air Brody exhaled, taking in the sweet hoppy flavour of beer. He used the tip of his tongue to trace the shape of Brody’s mouth and felt him shiver. Aden leaned in but kept their bodies apart. He sucked at Brody’s upper lip, pulling it into his mouth, then slid his tongue just inside. Brody’s groan reverberated through him.

Aden’s head swam as if he’d breathed in the fumes of a popper. He was caught up in an instant high that made him feel warm all over, dizzy, weird and desperately horny. His heart was racing and he wanted to fuck. Well, he always wanted to fuck, but poppers made you want to fuck right at that moment. That was how he felt now. So easy to slide his cock into Brody and fuck him against the damn wall.

Do it. He wants it. Brody slid his tongue into Aden’s mouth, teasing, exploring until Aden found himself leaning against him, his body pressing Brody to the plaster, but somehow Brody’s hold keeping him upright.

They kissed in turn, when one gasped for air, the other did too and now it was Aden’s turn to trail his tongue over Brody’s teeth, traverse his smooth upper palate, stroke the soft spongy flesh of his inner cheeks. When Brody slid his hands to Aden’s hips and dipped his fingers inside his jeans it was as if a switch flipped in both their heads. The tone and pace of their breathing changed, and their tongues rolled and thrust more violently. They kissed as if they were climbing into each other’s body, trying to get deeper, searching for more, searching for what?

Aden threaded his fingers in Brody’s hair, keeping his head in place though he knew there was no need. Neither of them was going anywhere. They ate at each other, hips rocking, cocks rubbing, Brody wanting this as much as he did. Fast and hard took them to the brink, slow and gentle brought them back. Calm lasted moments before they were enmeshed again, bodies writhing, hard cocks in a furious rut, desperate for the material between them to dissolve. Aden could have had mercury running through his veins, the heat he felt racing through his body. His balls ached as desire coiled and uncoiled and coiled again in his belly like a snake waking from slumber.

Fuck him. You know you want to.

I do.

Is that all you want? One hard fuck and nothing else?

Oh God.

Aden groaned into Brody’s mouth and jerked back to lean against the wall opposite. How could he be sure what he wanted when he had voices arguing in his head? Brody’s eyes were glazed, his cheeks flushed, and he swallowed repeatedly, his Adam’s apple rising and falling. But when he stepped forward, Aden put his hand out to stop him. He wasn’t surprised to see the confusion on Brody’s face.

“You need to leave,” Aden said, relieved the words didn’t come out croaky.

“Why?”

“Because I want this to be different.”

Aden wasn’t sure what to make of the look on Brody’s face. Anger? Hurt? Confusion? Yeah, all three. Brody slammed the door hard as he left and Aden tipped his head back against the wall and quietly laughed. The one time he’d wanted more than a fuck, he’d found someone who didn’t.

 

 

Brody stormed back to his house, kicked the door closed and wrenched off his boots. He seethed with anger and embarrassment. Christ, he hadn’t been asking the guy to marry him, just fuck him. That kiss… How could Aden not be interested after that kiss? Brody shuddered. His cock was still hard, pressed up tight against his zipper. For a moment, he contemplated calling a taxi to take him to the station, going into London, finding what he needed on Grindr. Well, it wouldn’t be what he needed but it would do.

Aden was a fucking prick-tease. Brody stamped into his bedroom and stripped, tossing his clothes aside, relieved to see his bad temper was having the desired effect on his cock. What the hell was Aden playing at? Brody had no idea whether what had spilled from the guy’s lips were lies or the truth, though he erred toward believing Aden was on the run and needed to keep out of sight for a few weeks with no questions asked.

He stepped into the shower and stood with his face tipped up to the flow. Brody was relieved he hadn’t blurted out the truth about how he’d gotten his bruises. He almost had. Something about Aden made him want to spill his secrets which was crazy. Who was going to admit they’d been raped?

Aden wasn’t a lover or a friend. Brody hardly knew him. Being raped wasn’t something he’d ever want to talk about because it made him feel like a loser, someone who couldn’t look after himself. Brody had had enough of feeling like that. He’d been careless, paid the price, and been lucky it hadn’t been worse. He’d done the right thing in not calling the police. He couldn’t afford to get trawled into a court case, assuming he’d be believed and it got that far. If the other side found out about Matt, and how the guy had treated him, Brody would lose not just the case but everything. His job, the respect of everyone who knew him, and even Des would be pissed off with him for lying.

I’m not going to think about it anymore. But that meant he thought about Aden instead. Aden had more or less told him he was a con artist and con artists were experts in reading people, manipulating them. Brody had opened up, and Aden had listened. Brody felt he’d understood. Aden had told him to leave, yet tugged him closer. When Aden walked out yesterday, Brody assumed he’d gone for good. Maybe Aden had expected him to follow and persuade him to come back, but innocent, good-hearted Des had done that for him. Shit.

The sensible part of Brody was telling him this was all part of Aden’s plan, dangling a lure and waiting for Brody to bite. So Brody should back right off, leave Aden alone, let him finish his week and leave. But the other part of him was trying to figure out Aden’s kiss and what he’d meant when he said he wanted this to be different. Because both those things had ensured Brody’s continued interest.

Brody tried to bury it. Well fuck you, Aden. Brody had been manipulated and used for too much of his life. He’d escaped one control freak, he wasn’t going to leap into bed with another. Aden could have had him tonight. Brody had felt the hard press of his cock as they’d kissed. Aden would have felt the same. That was the nearest the guy would ever get.

His cock had hardened again. He looked down at it. While his brain understood nothing was going to happen with Aden, his dick didn’t. Usually Brody had no image to pull into his head to jack off to but somehow Aden’s face was what he saw, Aden’s lips wrapped around his shaft, Aden’s fingers teasing his arse hole. Fucking hell.

While he pumped at the base of his cock with one hand, Brody rubbed the crest with the thumb of his other, pulling the foreskin over the tip before pushing it down, circling his palm over the rounded head. A squirt of shower gel and he worked his cock harder, faster. He closed his eyes, imagined Aden pressed against him and his gut immediately coiled, his balls tingling. He came so fast it almost took him by surprise. Lightning zipped down his spine and cum exploded from him in long spurts.

This was going to be a long week.

 

 

 

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