Chapter Six
Olivia
The party was winding down and there were only a handful of people left when Terrance caught me watching Dax shoot darts with his dad. He didn’t say anything, but I could see by the look on his face that he wasn’t happy about it. I played it off like I was just surprised that Dax and Bull seemed to be getting along so well; however I thought he could sense how I felt. Dax hadn’t said one word to us all night. He acted like we were invisible. I felt like a Jezebel.
“I have to get going pretty quick,” Terrance said.
“Why?”
“I have to run those parts up to Fresno for Bull tonight, remember?”
“No, I thought you were going in the morning. Why do you have to go tonight? The shop’s not even open at this time of night.”
“It’ll take me two hours to get there. Bull wants me there as soon as they open which is at eight a.m. I don’t want to have to drag myself outta bed at five in the morning to get on the road by six. It’ll be easier if I just go tonight.”
“So you’re staying in a Motel tonight?”
“Nah, I’m staying with a friend of Bull’s who lives close to the shop. I’ll be home before noon tomorrow, okay?”
“What friend? It doesn’t worry you to just go stay at someone’s home that you don’t even know?”
“No, Bull set it up. He wouldn’t send me somewhere that wasn’t safe.”
“You’re sure about that?” I asked him.
“Yeah, I’m sure. What’s your problem with Bull all of a sudden?”
“It’s not all of a sudden. The guy has always bothered me. Even when—”
“Even when what? Even when you were with Dax?”
“Yeah,” I said, “even then.”
“I’m sure that had more to do with how Dax felt about him. He’s always thought he was better than his dad. Better than all of us, really.”
“I’ve never heard you talk about him like that before.”
Terrance shrugged. “I guess it just never came up before. Anyways, I really have to go tonight. Okay?”
“Okay,” I said.
What was I going to say? It was his job…I guessed. Dax was right though. I might need to put a little more thought into all of this than I had so far. I took what people told me at face value. I’m not stupid, but I was too trusting sometimes. Seriously, who has to take parts to a shop two hours away in the middle of the night and then stay at some stranger’s house? By anyone’s standards, that was just strange.
“I’m going to say goodnight to Dax,” he said.
I raised an eyebrow but I didn’t say anything. I never told him about my talk with Dax. As far as he knew, he and I hadn’t spoken since he had been home. Terrance was taking a chance approaching him again after the first night. Dax made it clear that he no longer thought of him as a friend. I hoped Dax hadn’t had so much to drink that a fight might sound like a good idea. Terrance was a big guy, but somehow I still thought Dax would have the advantage.
I watched as he went over and I heard him say, “Hey, Dax, I have to get going. It’s good to have you back, man.”
Dax stared at him for the longest time and I could almost see a fire smoldering behind his sexy green eyes.
He proved once more that he had more self-control than the rest of them by finally saying, “Yeah, it’s good to be back, thanks.”
That seemed to make Terrance happy, even though Dax turned his back on him before he had even walked away. He had been looking for just a bit of acknowledgement and he had gotten it. I felt bad for Terrance; he had literally lost his best friend. I was glad that Dax at least spoke to him a bit because sometimes I’m not convinced that I’m prized enough to compensate for that.
“Are you ready?” Terrance asked me.
I saw Dax’s mom near the bar with a broom. I had met Terrance there, so I had my car.
“I think I’m going to stay and help Gail clean up if you don’t mind. It’ll beat sitting home alone.”
He leaned down to kiss me on the forehead and God help me I caught Dax looking at us out of the corner of my eye. I just gave him a quick peck and I could tell by the look on his face that he was confused once again. I watched him go out the doors and I quickly felt like shit. I ran after him and caught him just as he was about to fire up his bike.
“Hey, wait!”
“What’s up?”
“I’m sorry. This whole situation…it just makes me a little tense.” Terrance didn’t have to ask what situation I was referring to.
“I know; me too,” he said, wrapping me in a hug. His embrace always made me feel safe. It had never set me on fire the way that Dax’s used to. It was better than nothing.
“Be safe, okay?” I told him. “Please don’t be doing anything illegal and please don’t go to jail.” I pointed my finger at him.
“Always,” he said with a grin. I stood and watched him go, wishing that I could feel for him the way that I did for Dax. It would make things so much easier.
When I got back inside I found Gail and asked her what she needed me to help with. She and Cookie were loading her SUV with pots and containers full of food. Bull and the other guys weren’t helping a bit, of course.
“Can you finish sweeping up for me, honey? That would be a big help, that way I can go ahead and get all of this food home before it goes bad.”
“Sure,” I told her.
“Thanks, you’re a doll.”
I could always tell by the way Gail looked at me that she was sad Dax and I weren’t still together. She had high hopes for her son and she did everything right by him…except getting him far away from his father. That was probably her one mistake. Gail was pure class and Bull was a toad.
I went and found the broom I had seen her using earlier and started sweeping the dance floor. The guys had all gone out back, I guessed. I was the only one in the room and I pushed the broom to the beat of the music playing. It was something country or other, but it had a good beat to it.
I was lost in my thoughts when all of a sudden the music stopped mid-song. I looked over and Dax was standing by the CD player with his back to me. I leaned against the broom and watched him, wondering what he was doing. Suddenly, Bruno Mars filled the room and “Just The Way You Are” was shooting an arrow straight through my already fragile heart. Dax turned around and looked at me and grinned. What was left of my heart fell down into my stomach.
I smiled back, nervously, wondering what the hell he was doing.
I went back to sweeping, hoping that if I ignored him, he would go away. Did I want him to go away? No, not really, but I needed him to. I was trying to block out the song, the one that Dax used to sing to me when we danced together. I could feel him next to me before I looked up and saw him.
“Remember this?” he asked, like there was any possibility I could have forgotten. I fell in love with him to this song.
“Yeah,” I said, still sweeping, trying to seem casual about it.
“Not just the song,” he said. “The tape. I found it earlier when I was looking for a CD. I didn’t even know I still had it.” I kept on sweeping. “Do you still have your copy?”
I stopped sweeping and looked at him. Mistake. He was too close and he smelled so good and he looked so hot. I. Couldn’t. Breathe.
“Yeah,” I said finally. “I still have it.”
He was talking about a mix tape that we made together. I picked out most of the songs on it, songs that mostly said all of the things I was feeling about him but I was too young to be able to put into eloquent words. He had picked this one out—Bruno Mars. He used to sing it to me and it would set my heart on fire. To this day I couldn’t hear it on the radio without tearing up like I was starting to do. I put my head down and started to sweep away when I felt him grab me. It startled me and I shrieked.
“What are you doing?”
“Dance with me,” he said. I laughed and he pulled me closer. The broom dropped out of my hand and clattered to the floor.
“No, Dax, this isn’t a good—” He pulled me up against his hard body and the “idea” part of that objection came out a little weak. “Dax,” I said, breathless at this point.
“Dance with me, Olivia,” he said again just before he pulled me in a little closer, so close that room air couldn’t pass between us.
We moved to the beat and there was a part of me that wanted to pull away and another part that felt like I was back where I belonged. Sometimes things like this happen and as much as you want your brain and your heart to choose the right choice, you can't always control it.
His hand ran down my back, stopping just above my ass. He firmly pushed me against him so that nothing would be able to come between us. I breathed in his wonderful cologne that reminded me of our time together before he became a felon.
“I missed this,” he whispered into my ear. “I missed you. I was sitting in that prison cell for two years thinking about you.”
I didn't know what to say to him. I only thought about him at first, but once Terrance and I had got together it blocked Dax out of my mind. I lay my head on his shoulder and he rested the side of his face on my head as we continued to dance.
“Look at me, Liv,” he said softly.
I was scared to look at him. Every time I did my body just wanted to give in to him. His hand reached up and tipped my chin up and over so that I was staring into his eyes. They were filled with desire.
His head tipped down and his lips met mine. I could taste the beer on his lips and I wondered if he knew what he was doing or if he was too drunk to know. I had to wonder if this was revenge toward Terrance too.
Thinking Terrance’s name snapped me back into reality once more. Pulling back a little I said, “We can’t do this.” I heard my own voice and it didn’t sound convincing at all.
God, I wanted to kiss him so bad. We were so close and he was holding me so tight that I could actually feel his heart hammering against me. Or was that my own? I really couldn’t tell. I knew either way this was dangerous and I tried to wriggle free just before he kissed me again. This time I felt his tongue snake between my lips and instead of fighting it, I parted them to let him in.
Fireworks were going off in my head and it was hard to think, but I knew this was wrong and I tried to pull back far enough to speak but he was holding me so tight I could barely move. Terrance hadn’t done anything to hurt me, ever. Dax might have thought this was the same as me being with Terrance, but it was not. I never cheated on Dax. He and I were broken up long before Terrance ever touched me.
My lips were still against his as I said, “This is wrong, Dax. We can’t do this.”
I hadn’t even realized I was crying until I felt a tear staining both our faces. Maybe that was what made him let me go. I could feel him quietly staring at me. I couldn’t look at him because if I did, I may have stayed and done something that I knew I would regret.
I ran to the door and out into the fresh night air, gulping in lungfuls of it. I felt light-headed, I was hyperventilating. I leaned up against the front of the building and I realized that it was my heart I could feel earlier because it was pounding so hard in my chest cavity that I thought it might just break free.