Chapter Two
Olivia
I woke up next to Dax this morning and I panicked. Last night had been amazing, wonderful and long overdue. It had also been wrong. I’d just walked out on Terrance. What kind of woman flips back and forth between best friends? When I got together with Terrance at least it had been a year since Dax and I had been together. But I walked away from Terrance and straight into Dax’s arms.
What the hell is wrong with me?
I hadn’t gone over there to sleep with him. I had just needed someone to talk to and a shoulder to cry on. I hadn’t known where else to go. When he opened the door and I saw him there, I didn’t know what came over me. I went into vixen mode and I attacked him. He tried to give me an out. He broke the kiss and asked me what was going on. But I hadn’t been able to stop, I was a woman driven and I was driving towards one thing, a passionate night with Dax.
I had slipped out quietly because I was unable to face him this morning. What would I say? Sorry? Thanks? This behavior was foreign to me and I didn’t have the strength to deal with it. I headed over to Terrance and my apartment to get my things. No matter what was going to happen with Dax, or not, I wasn’t going back to Terrance. That was certain.
As I drove into the lot I saw his bike parked in the spot where he normally left it and I almost turned around and left. I was hoping he’d be gone on one of his runs. I forced myself to go inside, however because I needed to just get it over with and get on with my life. It wasn’t like I was never going to run into him again anyways. I may as well just suck it up and do it now.
When I walked in the front door I saw him right away, sitting on the couch. It was like he was waiting for me.
He watched me come in and then he said, “You didn’t come home last night.”
Seriously? He thought I was going to seethe over it for a while and then just go home and everything would be just peachy again?
“You helped set up your best friend and he spent two years in prison because of it.”
“Liv—”
“No, Terrance. We’re not talking about this any longer. You know what you did. You know how I feel about it. There is no reason to beat this thing into the ground. Besides, I don’t believe a word you say anyways. I’m just here to get my things.”
“You’re leaving me?”
“Yes, Terrace. Are you fucking high? Did you really think I was going to stay? First of all what you did was bad enough, but then you looked me right in the eye and lied to me about it too. You can’t honestly think that I would ever trust you again. I meant what I said. I don’t want to keep talking about this. Nothing you say will change how I feel about what you did.”
I walked down the hall to the bedroom and took an empty duffle bag out of the closet. I went over to my dresser drawers and started stuffing things into the bag. I was in a hurry, because I knew no matter how much I asked him to he wasn’t going to just leave this alone. He didn’t really get that he had done something wrong. To me that was scary.
He had followed me into the bedroom. “Where are you going to go?” he asked while leaning across the doorway.
“I don’t know, Terrance. Anywhere but here.”
“Where’d you sleep last night?”
“That’s not your business any longer.”
I went to the closet and started taking things off hangers and stuffing them in. He was till staring at me.
“Did you go to Dax?”
“Oh jeez, Terrance, don’t do this.”
“You’re the one lauding honesty all the time. Why can’t you be honest with me Liv? Are you ashamed of something you did?”
“No, I haven’t done anything to be ashamed of. Don’t try and turn this around, Terrance. You did this.”
He switched gears and in a soft voice he said, “You don’t have to go.”
I let out an audible sigh so he could tell that I was annoyed and I said, “Terrance, you and I are over. Yes, I have to go.”
“Okay, I get that we’re over, I do. I also know that you’ve only been helping your uncle out a day or two a week and Bull never pays you for what you do at the bar. So how the hell are you going to support yourself? Stay here, until you’re able to. I’ll sleep on the couch. Let me at least do that for you.”
His offer might have seemed nice, but it was just another way to control me. If I was there, he could make sure I wasn’t with anyone else and it would give him an opportunity to talk me into taking him back.
“No, Terrance. You don’t seem to understand that I can barely stand to look at you. Besides the fact that it was you who wanted me to quit my job and you who talked me out of going back to school. I don’t see myself moving forward at all if I stay here. Besides, what you did to your best friend was reprehensible and unforgiveable as far as I’m concerned. Now please, leave me alone so I can get my things packed and get out of here.”
He looked hurt and angry, but he did as I asked. He turned and walked out. A few minutes later I heard the front door open and close and then I heard his bike. I breathed a sigh of relief.
I finished packing my things, being sure not to take anything he had paid for. I reached up on top of the closet and took down the folder I kept Dax’s sketches in. I stuffed it in the bag and said good riddance to the last two years. I made it to the front door and turned to look back. I had to admit that it wasn’t all bad. I’d thought Terrance was a good guy for a long time and we had some good times. The problem was that just underneath the surface we were both bleeding a little. Me, because of the mixture of anger, fear and guilt I was always feeling and him because of a deep, dark secret that I hadn’t even known he had.