Chapter Twenty-Eight

Savannah

“It’s okay, it’s okay, it’s okay,” I said to Bobby.

The two of us were back in our room, and I was having a hard time calming Bobby down. Ever since he’d seen Axel, he had not stopped crying. There didn’t seem to be anything that I could do to help the situation either. Bobby was beside himself. I didn’t blame him. Seeing Axel had been hard for me too. I was only trying to be brave for Bobby.

“Why didn’t he come and see us?” Bobby asked.

He’d already asked me this, and I had already explained, but Bobby could not understand why his daddy had come here and had not come to get him. Axel had averted his eyes from us throughout the entire confrontation, and Bobby couldn’t understand it. I knew, of course, that Axel was only trying to protect us. If he came in to get us, he would’ve only caused my trouble. I knew he had only done the best. But Bobby didn’t like it no matter how many times I tried to explain.

Seeing Axel had taken the wind out of me. I knew how much I missed him. I knew because I thought about him every single day. But seeing him there made it so much worse. It had taken all my might not to just run out and wrap my arms around him. I still wasn’t sure what he was planning, but he’d challenged Duke to a race, so he clearly had a plan. I pulled Bobby towards me and wiped his tears away.

“Don’t worry, my darling. Everything is going to be fine.” I wasn’t sure what to say to him. I didn’t want to get his hopes up. I didn’t know how to feel about it myself. I hadn’t come here so that Axel could come and save us. I had come here to get away from Axel to keep him safe. Now, Axel was throwing all that aside. I was happy, I was touched, but I was also scared. I hoped that whatever he planned on doing didn’t just end up making things worse for us. But Axel was a smart man, and he wouldn’t put Bobby in danger. That was surely why he hadn’t come up to us when Bobby was crying at the door. He was being smart about it. I had to just have faith that everything was going to be fine.

“Where’s Daddy? Why isn’t he here?” Bobby cried.

I didn’t answer him anymore. I realized now that there was no point. I just held him against me and let him cry. I could hear Duke walking around the house, snapping at everyone. Something about the exchange with Axel had set him on edge, and he was not in a very good mood. I just hoped that he wouldn’t come into my room. I wanted to close the door, but I knew that would only make it worse. He hated it when I closed the door. I heard his footsteps getting louder and I shut my eyes tightly. I knew he would be in the room soon.

“Listen here, Bobby, I want you to stop crying. I can hear you from my bedroom all the way across the hall. You need to stop crying. If you don’t, I will make you stop, and you don’t want me to do that, my boy. So quit your whining and stop being such a baby.”

I didn’t care what Duke said to me. I was old enough and tired enough to simply let his words run off me. But I would not let him talk to my Bobby in that way. I stood up and looked at him, not at all frightened by how much bigger he was than me.

“You do not have a right to talk to my son that way. He’s only crying because of you. How can you be so cruel? He’s a good boy, and you know it. So don’t you dare tell him to stop crying when he’s upset. He never cries. Say whatever you want to me. I came back, didn’t I? Just like you wanted me to. But the only thing I will not put up with is you shouting at my son for no reason. Now, if you don’t mind, I want you to get out of my room. And, we are going to close this door so that we can have some peace and quiet.”

“You don’t get to talk to me like that,” he said.

I nodded. “I won’t talk to you like that if you leave me alone. Please go.”

Duke walked out the room, muttering to himself, and I shut the door behind him. The moment the door was closed, I felt better. I rushed over to Bobby and took him in my arms.

“You see? There’s nothing to worry about. Mommy is here. This is our room, and nobody needs to be in here except you and me. I’m sorry about what happened my darling. I’m sorry. But everything is going to be fine. You have to trust me. Come on, let’s watch some TV.”

I put the TV on, and the two of us climbed under the blankets and watched cartoons. I could see that Bobby wasn’t really watching but it was at least something to keep his mind off everything. I wanted nothing more than to call Axel and ask him what was going on, but Duke had taken my phone away the moment I’d come back to the house. Why had I come here? Why had I thought this was a good idea? But I knew that if I hadn’t come here on my own accord, Duke would have found a way to get me anyway. No matter what, I would’ve ended up here. I thought about Axel. Did I want him to come and save me? Of course I did. But I just wasn’t sure if it was possible without someone getting hurt. And that thought scared me more than being here.

We stayed like that for a long time, just watching TV. I was hungry, but I didn’t want to go out to the kitchen. Luckily, I had thought about it beforehand and had stashed some fruit and a box of cereal for us. There was a tiny little fridge where I kept milk and juice. I made us both a cereal dinner, and we ate in front of the TV. I tried not to think about eating cereal in Axel’s kitchen. The one good thing about this bedroom was that I had my own bathroom. It had been the only thing I had asked my father for when he was still alive. There had been someone else living in this room at the time, but he had made sure that they moved out so that I could get it. There was no way I was going to live in a house filled with men without having my bathroom for Bobby and me. So, after dinner, we took a bath, got into our pajamas, and got back into bed. It felt like all we were doing was sleeping lately.

I was grateful when Bobby fell to sleep quickly that night. It saved me from having to answer any more questions about Axel. He kept repeating the same questions over and over, and I was starting to battle to come up with answers for him. He had tired himself out with all his crying, and when he closed his eyes, he fell immediately to sleep. I lay there for a long time, just watching him. I had always loved watching Bobby sleep. There was something so unbelievably peaceful about watching your child safe and sound next to you. At least when he was asleep, I knew that nothing could happen to him. I was just about to close my eyes when I heard my door open. I lay there in shock while I waited to see who it was. When Duke’s head appeared around the door, I groaned. I got quietly out of bed and put my finger to my mouth. I walked out and closed the door behind me.

“What are you doing here?” I hissed. How dare he come into my room at night. I was so angry that I felt my body literally vibrating with anger. He was starting to get pushier now with me, and I didn’t like it. I knew that Duke could have his way with me if he really wanted to. I would fight it for all I was worth, but it didn’t mean I wasn’t scared that he would one day just have his way with me. I hated how much bigger he was than me. For now, I’d just have to act big and hope that I got away with it.

“This is my house; I can do whatever I want and go wherever I want.” I could smell the alcohol on his breath. This was not the best time to try and reason with Duke. He’d never been one to handle his alcohol well. And I had noticed since coming back that he was drinking a lot more than he used to. My father hadn’t been a drinker, and because of that, many of the other residents didn’t drink either. My father always said that alcohol blurred someone’s vision and he wanted to always know exactly what he was doing at all times. Duke used to drink regardless, but he kept it mostly in check over the years. Since my father died, he had stopped caring. He was still steady on his feet though, so thankfully he wasn’t completely wasted yet.

“It’s night time. Bobby is sleeping, and I really don’t want to wake him. You shouldn’t have come into my room.”

“That’s fine. I didn’t make a scene, did I? You don’t have to wake Bobby. I know he sleeps well. He won’t even know that we are gone. Why don’t you come to my bed then? I have a nice big bed for the two of us to share. Come on; I know you want to. That’s why you came back, isn’t it? You’re practically begging for it.”

I resisted the urge to slap him. I had to stay level-headed and calm.

“It’s late; I’m tired; I just want to go to sleep. And I don’t want Bobby to wake up and wonder where his mommy has gone to. So please, let me go back to sleep. We can talk more in the morning if you want.”

“You know, I thought Axel was lying when he said he didn’t want you anymore, but maybe he wasn’t lying, after all. Who would want a frigid girl like you anyway? You’re nothing but a tease.”

“I’m not teasing anyone,” I said as calmly as possible, but I could feel my resolve wearing thin. “And I really don’t care who wants me or not. I just want to get some sleep. All I want is some sleep.”

“You know, I’m going to take him up on his offer.”

“Offer?”

“Don’t act dumb. I know you heard the whole conversation. Axel wants to race me. So I’m going to do that. If respect is what he wants, then respect is what he’ll get. He’ll see who the real man is. I am bigger and better than he is and I’m happy to prove it. And once and for all, you’re going to see that I am better than him.”

“Good. I think you should,” I said. I knew there was no way he could beat Axel in a race. Axel was one of the best racers I knew. Duke just liked bikes. He wasn’t all that good at racing them. I’d seen him try before and it was pitiful. Even I could beat him, and I hadn’t raced in years.

“But I’m not going to race him.”

“What do you mean? I thought you just said you were.”

He laughed, obviously pleased with himself. “Nah, not me. I’m going to get Jock to do it.”

I groaned. Jock was a friend of Duke’s and part of the XMC. He was a good racer. Much better than Duke could ever hope to be.

“Oh yeah? So you’re going to get someone else to do your dirty work for you? Why am I not surprised? This is exactly the sort of thing you always do. If you really want to prove yourself to Axel, you should do it yourself. You know that, don’t you?”

Duke glared at me. I was worried that I had gone too far, but he just grabbed a bottle of whiskey from the cabinet and walked off. If we were living alone, I was sure that Duke would’ve done something to me a long time ago. They only reason I felt even remotely safe was because the house was filled with other people. Duke had to be careful about what he did because people were always watching and always talking. As the head of the house, though, he had more sway over everyone, and there was still a big chance that he would one day stop caring about all the eyes on him and do something anyway. I just had to hope that by then, I was out the house for good. I watched him walk away, glad that he was not in front of me anymore. I saw my moment and quickly went back into my room. I couldn’t lock the door, so I moved a sofa in front of it, doing my best not to make too much noise. I didn’t want to confront a drunk Duke in the middle of the night. He’d be mad if he knew I had blocked the door but I didn’t want to take any more chances. I listened for footsteps but I didn’t hear any, so I finally made my way back to the bed. I climbed inside and lay next to Bobby, grateful that he hadn’t woken up.