Chapter 12
Samara
Jamie’s standing out front of my apartment a few hours after Anton dropped me off. That man is not someone I wish to see, today or ever for that matter. But here he is. Being a cop, he has access to all my data, and he seems to know just about everything there is to know about me. ‘Slime,’ yeah that’s a good name to describe him. He shouldn’t be able to search my details for his own pleasure. His hands are in his pockets and he’s looking up at me, as I walk out the door and onto the top step. Raven saw him through the window, and not wanting her to have anything to do with him, I had to come down. Hopefully to tell him to leave, and that will be it. But that’s highly unlikely.
“Samara,” he says in his smarmy way. I hate it when he says my name like that. Hate it.
“What are you doing here, Jamie?”
He shrugs his shoulders. His gun sits proudly on his belt, but he doesn’t touch it. Yet. He usually does, knowing that those movements make me uncomfortable.
“You seem to be following the wrong crowd.”
I shake my head. “You can’t tell me who to see.”
He scratches his eye, the same one I punched a few months ago. He’d come into my work when I was closing up and finishing off an order for Death. Jamie tried to touch me, and I told him to stop it. He didn’t want to listen, but his hands kept on touching my skin without my permission. I saw Death stand up and my eyes looked back to his, it was the most eye contact I’d ever had with him. My knee came up and connected with Jamie’s groin, then I punched him in the eye for good measure. He cursed at me and a stream of obscenities burst from his mouth, but someone was behind him so he couldn’t threaten me. Death stood there even though I didn’t know who he was then. I knew at that time he was not someone you argued with, especially when he looks at you the way he looked at Jamie. Jamie left without another word. And I hadn’t seen him since, that is until the other night at work.
“I saw you get out of the car with him today.” He shakes his head. “Do you know who those men are, Samara? You want people like that being around your sister?”
I want to laugh because they seem so much safer than he does right at this moment. Jamie, I don’t trust with a ten-foot pole.
“You need to leave.”
He shakes his head then looks up, I do too, and that’s a mistake because in that split second he’s in front of me and his body almost on mine.
“You know I’m the better option.”
I shake my head, his breath is on my neck. Stepping back and holding onto the railing for support, he tries to step forward. So I turn and run up the stairs away from him, shutting and locking the door. Raven walks out with her eyebrows raised as she watches me.
“Who is that, Sam?”
I shake my head, trying to think of the correct way to tell her without scaring her, but it’s clear she has to know to stay away from him. He is not safe.
“Promise me if you see him you’ll run the other way and call me.”
She nods her head.
“Should you call Anton?”
“Why?” I ask, confused. Freya brought her home last night, and I stayed up drinking. Then this morning I agreed to go with Elina to her house. Anton was there, with a pierced and very beautiful cock out on display. I smile at the memory.
“Well… don’t you like him?” Raven asks.
I shake my head. “We’re going to try to be friends.”
She laughs, but I push away from the door and walk to the window to see if Jamie’s still there. He is, looking up at me. I close the curtain and turn back to Raven.
“I think he makes you feel safe,” she says in a small voice.
Safe.
Maybe he does, I’d never thought of it that way. It’s true though, I never say no to going with him somewhere, because I feel calm around him.
“And maybe you can let him in. Have you told him about your scar?”
I shake my head, but she’s persistent. “Just because of your heart it doesn’t mean you can’t live normally, Sam. Your risks aren’t high now you’ve had the transplant.”
And there it is.
The heart.
It’s a fickle bitch, isn’t it?
Mine sure as shit is.
It was a bad time, congenital heart disease does that to you. If you’re lucky, some live with it, some die from it, and some need a whole new heart. The last one was me, another reason I work so much. The medical bills were horrendous, but it was a long time ago now, and the scar has faded. The thought remains that one day my heart could fail. My health all around is good now and has been for a few years. No one knows. The only person that does is Raven. It’s one of the main reasons she went into the medical field. She saw what I went through, and wanted to help someone else who may not have gotten a second chance like I did. I admire her greatly for it. Medication for the rest of my life is all I need now. Lucky for me, so far I haven’t rejected my heart—my gift—and I have been able to go back to my normal activities, which I know I’m fortunate for and blessed. Some people aren’t able to live a normal life even after they get their brand new heart.
“I’ll always have risks, Raven,” I say to her. She doesn’t smile or fight me on it because she knows the truth.
“Well, maybe you should tell him.”
“He’s asked, but I avoided his question,” I tell her, standing and walking away from this conversation. No one knows about it. When I dance, I cover the scar with make-up and it does wonders. I learned how to hide it from a very special lady who deals with this type of thing, and honestly, when it’s covered you wouldn’t know. It’s incredible what you can do when you have the right tools and know how.
“You need to start putting you first. I love it that you always put me first, Sam, but it also makes me feel incredibly guilty. I want you to put you first for a change, even if that means falling in love,” she says through the closed door of the bathroom.
I spring it open, coming face to face with her. Her eyes are sad as she looks at me, and a lone tear runs down her face.
“I didn’t do it because I felt guilted into it, Raven. I did it because I love you. And maybe, just maybe, I don’t want to love yet. I want to be me… just Sam, not Sam and someone else. No matter how much I like someone.”
Raven nods her head, and I pull her in for a hug. I forget how much she sees and knows. She isn’t my baby sister anymore, now she’s a grown woman.
***
I’ve made up my mind, I’m quitting dancing. I need to find one job. One job that can help me with the bills from now on. Raven is getting work, and I don’t have to pay for everything by myself anymore. My medical bills are almost gone thanks to the money I made at the club, and now I have time for me. What I want to do. I don’t have any real plans, nothing has ever interested me. I’m more than happy to work an office job perhaps. My dreams aren’t as big as Raven’s. All I wanted was to breathe again, and that dream was fulfilled with my new heart.
I’ve successfully avoided life for the last day. After Anton dropped me home, I stayed in all day and the next calling in sick to work, but now I’m going in to quit straight after my shift. Then hopefully, with a bit of luck, I can find a job, one that doesn’t involve me removing my clothes to get paid. Hopefully.
“Elina’s here,” Raven calls out while I’m pulling on my dress. I finish dressing and walk out to see her with shiny red lips and heels that don’t belong in this apartment. Hell, they probably cost more than everything in here.
“Hey,” I say with a little wave. She’s kind and doesn’t stare at what we have. I know she wants to. Let’s face it, this place is nothing.
“So Raven mentioned you were after work.”
Raven waves as she closes the front door leaving for the hospital to work.
“Yeah, I will be.”
Elina nods her head. “Well, Kazier actually needs to hire someone. Would you consider working for him?”
I stare at her, trying to form the right words, but they don’t come. Instead, I blurt out, “Is it legal?” I still don’t know what they do, but it doesn’t feel like whatever it is, is actually above board.
She laughs. “Yes, Death mentioned to him you work at a health food restaurant. Kazier owns a few established restaurants and is looking for a general manager with experience. The job is at one of his larger restaurants, and he’s looking for someone he can trust as he won’t be there much. I thought immediately of you.”
“You don’t even know me.”
Her lip twitches. “Do you talk to him like that?” she asks.
“Who?”
“Anton? I can see why he’s slowly going crazy over you.”
“Ummm… thanks, I think.”
Elina waves her hand. “Anyway, the pay is great. Health’s included. Hours are great.”
“Health?” I ask, to which she nods her head. “Yes,” I say, not even caring if it involves scrubbing floors, I would do it for those health benefits alone. “Thank you,” I say to her because I mean it. What Elina’s doing is more than she’ll ever know.
She shrugs her shoulders.
“Anton likes you. He doesn’t like many girls other than us. Yes, he fucks them but doesn’t tolerate them other than that. You, however… he likes.”
I have no words to say back to her. I like Anton, too. Do I know if I feel more than that? No. At this stage, it’s nothing more.
“Does he know? About the job you’re offering me?” I ask her.
“He does.” She pulls a card from her purse and hands it to me. “You can start when you’re ready. The manager is leaving, and waiting for you so she can train you. You don’t have to worry much about the boys being in there as that’s not their area of work.”
“What is their area?” I ask while taking the card and looking down at it.
“Order,” is all she replies, which makes my head pop up to look at her again as I scrunch my eyebrows together.
“Is what they say true about them?”
She shrugs her shoulders. “Most likely. They’re only nice to those that are family. And cordial with their employees. Where do you want to fit into that?” Her question throws me off.
“Friends,” is all I say.
She smirks. “You do have six weeks after all.” She laughs, and her white teeth show predominantly. She really is one of the prettiest women I’ve ever come across. Kazier is very lucky to have her.
“Yes, six weeks should be interesting.” I laugh with her.
It should be very interesting indeed. Now I just have to hope Jamie leaves me the fuck alone, and never comes back.
But my luck isn’t running well, and like a white picket fence, it can be rickety.