“NO ONE CAN KNOW ABOUT this being fake,” Shane says, his voice muffled by the T-shirt he’s pulling over his head.
“Excuse me?”
He finishes dressing instead of answering.
“Shane?”
He sits down on my bed with a huff, pulling his boots on before looking up and leaning back on his hands.
“You’re right. I need you just as much as you need me to get someone out of my life. We need to keep this agreement between us. That way, there isn’t a chance those someones find out we’re playing them.”
“I’m assuming you mean I can’t tell Ember either?”
He nods, watching me with his stoic expression.
“She wouldn’t tell anyone.”
“I don’t think she would, but if we want to be believable, that means the people who know us the best should buy it too. Otherwise, we’re not doing it right.”
I weigh his words, pulling my arms across my body. “I don’t like keeping things from my best friend, Shane.”
“I can respect that, but it’s a deal breaker for me, Nikki.”
“Son of a biscuit.” His face goes soft, and I know he thinks my weirdness is funny. You try working around kids all day and not cussing, and you’ll learn all sorts of tricks around it. Weird or not, it’s my thing. “If she finds out, she won’t be happy.”
“Then don’t tell her. It’s no one’s business but ours.”
“And when we succeed in getting our exes out of the picture and this thing between us ends?”
He stands, towering over me, and lightly takes my elbows in his hands, not trying to get me to unfold my arms but making sure I see just how serious he is. “Then we’ll break up like any other couple but go on as friends.”
“Unless you fall in love with me and we end up hating each other.”
“Don’t worry about me, chèrie.” I hear his unspoken words. It’s written all over his face that he thinks I’ll be the one to fall for him. “Are we agreed?”
“Yeah, boyfriend of mine, we’re agreed. Don’t worry; I won’t fall in love with you either.”
“Fuck,” he says under his breath.
“What?”
“Nothing. Walk me out?”
I nod, missing his touch when he releases me. I follow behind him, allowing myself a second to wish this wasn’t fake and I could ask him to spend his Saturday with me. Instead, I smile as he opens the door and looks back at me.
“I’ll be at Dirty until we open, but Dent should be back so if you can wait to eat dinner until around eight, we can go to the new hibachi place in town.”
“Like a date?”
“You want people to believe you’re mine, mon colibri, and it’s kind of hard to show that off without going on a few.”
“I can wait,” I breathe.
“See you then,” he says, his smirk telling me he’s enjoying the fact he can gain the upper hand anytime he wants. He leaves the door open, walks back toward me, and lifts one hand to the nape of my neck. Curling it behind my neck with a strong hold, he pulls me into his body at the same time his lips crash against mine. His kiss bruising, deep, all-consuming, and … branding.
I’m still standing there with my eyes closed and my lips burning long after the sound of my front door shutting stops echoing through my apartment.
Yeah, this is a dangerous game, for sure.
“You’re what!”
I hold the phone away from my face but not before Ember’s screech hits my ear, making me wince. I should have put her on speakerphone and saved my hearing, but in my defense, I’m a little rattled knowing I have a date—fake or not—with Shane Kingston tonight.
“You heard me.”
“Shane, Shane? As in, the same Shane who is my husband’s business partner? That Shane?”
“Know a lot of Shanes, Em?” I laugh, placing the phone on my bathroom counter so I can finish my makeup and save my ears from any more outbursts by my overly excited best friend.
“Well, no, but he’s Shane.”
“Yes, he is,” I reply, my voice deeper than normal. I look at my reflection, seeing my lust-filled expression looking back at me.
“When the hell did this happen?”
“A few weekends-ish ago,” I hedge.
“Well, that’s as clear as mud. Hold on, baby’s crying.” I hear her phone clatter against something hard and picture her moving around her house in my head. Quinnie’s angry cries follow a second later, mingling with Ember’s calming sounds. “Sorry about that; she’s been fussy with these teeth coming in.”
“It’s okay. Do you want to let me go?”
She snorts. “Yeah, right. She’ll calm down, but this gossip about you and Shane can’t wait. I can’t believe this is the first I’m hearing of this.”
“There really isn’t much to tell, Em. We’re dating. Seeing where this attraction between us goes.” Not a lie. No reason to feel guilty. But I do. I hate keeping things from her. She’s been my best friend for so long, and we have no secrets between us. “There’s no reason to get all worked up about it, girlfriend.”
“Are you nuts?! This is the first guy you’ve dated at all since that jerk. I think it’s more than enough of a reason to get worked up!”
“You’re insane.” I laugh.
“Are you going to sleep with him?”
“Uh …” I evade.
“You’ve already slept with him!”
The baby starts crying after her outburst, and I wait for her to calm her before speaking.
“Get any louder and I’m sure the whole town will know. Jeez, Em, calm the crazy down a few notches.”
“You know, I’m not blind just because I’m married. I’ve seen how he moves his body when they’re dancing at Dirty. Don’t even try to act like you’re shocked I’m curious about how he moves off the bar and between the sheets.”
“I bet said husband would love to know you’re asking about how his best friend can move.”
She makes a pfft sound before she snorts again. “Nate isn’t jealous like that.”
“Yeah, and the sky is brown.”
“Whatever.”
I swipe another layer of gloss on my lips while my eyes roam over my face to make sure my makeup is perfect. Not even when I first started dating Seth did I put this much work into looking my best. “Do you think it’s normal for me to keep comparing him to Seth?” I ask, not liking that it keeps happening but not experienced enough to know if it’s normal.
“I wouldn’t know, hon,” Ember replies, no longer sounding manic in her excitement. “I’m about as well-versed as you are in the relationship department. When Nate and I first started seeing each other, I did the same thing, though, so I think it’s normal. Or when you haven’t had a lot of experience, it is.”
“Or we’re just naïve to how all this works.”
“You were with Seth for a long time, Nik. Not only that, but you haven’t dated since y’all broke up, so I think it’s just the natural course for anyone in the same situation. Does Shane know about Seth?”
I wince. I can’t tell her just how much he knows, and I hate that. “Yeah.”
“If you’re worried about it, be honest about it with him. He deserves to have a fair fight with whatever hang-ups Seth left you with. Talk it out and let him show you that he isn’t like Seth, the jerk.”
“We’ve already been there,” I say softly. “This morning, over him waiting on me to eat, of all things.”
“This morning, huh?”
“Oh, hush.”
“Tell me what happened.”
I replay my breakfast with Shane, only leaving out the talk about our ‘relationship’ but giving her the rest. Including my near panic-inducing moment about cold freaking eggs. Ember knows just how nasty things got with Seth, so I don’t have to go into much detail.
“You know, if it was legal to kill someone, that asshole would be the first person I shanked.”
“How do you even know what shanking someone means?”
“I watch Wentworth on Netflix; I could be scrappy in prison. Don’t think the thought hasn’t crossed my mind a time or two with that guy.”
“You wouldn’t last an hour in prison.” I laugh.
“To answer your earlier question,” she says, ignoring me, “in situations like that, I think it’s normal. You did the right thing by talking to him about it. Letting him know why you had that moment and giving him a chance to ease your mind. Shane’s a good guy, Nik. He’s going to treat you well.”
“Yeah, he is.”
“Don’t give Seth any power in what you’re starting with Shane,” she tells me after a moment of silence. “He has no right to something like that. If you’re reminded of the bad memories he left you with, you let Shane give you the words to make it good. Holding on to that will only keep you from moving on.”
“Easier said than done.”
“It is, but you have a few people ready to lift you up if you need it. You know that.”
My eyes sting, and I feel even more guilt over keeping the complete truth from her. “I love you, sister from another mister.”
“Right back at you, Nik.”
“Give my goddaughter a kiss for me, okay?”
“I will. And you call me first thing tomorrow and tell me how the date went!”
I laugh, agree, and wait until she says bye before cutting her off. “Hey, Em?”
“Yeah?”
“If you thought how he moved on the bar was hot, what he can do in the sheets should be illegal.”
I hang up the phone but not before I hear her screaming. I’ll pay for that, I’m sure, but after hearing way more than I wanted to about her husband’s skills, it’s only fair.
I almost trip when I walk out of the bathroom and my foot gets tangled in all the clothes I had been trying on before finally giving up on finding an outfit and moving to tackle my hair and face. Why am I making such a big deal about dinner? It’s not like this is a real date. Just two people enjoying the mutual benefits of each other’s company while having dinner. Right?
This is insane. If I don’t drive myself mad with my need for what he can do to my body, I’ll do it by constantly worrying about keeping myself on the straight and narrow where this ‘relationship’ is concerned. Constantly having to remind myself it’s not real will only make it harder for me to actually pretend.
“That’s it,” I mumble to myself, grabbing my favorite jeans off the floor. “From now on, no more analyzing it as fake versus real.” Yanking my pants up and grabbing a loose blouse, I pull it over my head and adjust the neck so one shoulder peeks out bare. “You, Nicole Clark, have a boyfriend, and that’s all there is to it. Give it your all, and if anyone is falling, it’s going to be him because you’re that irresistible.” I nod at my reflection, happy with my outfit. My long blond hair hanging in loose curls, framing my face. My eyes are bright, excited, and for once in too many months, not worried about a dang thing.
“From this day forward, you’re going to give every day your all and not worry about the reality of your situation with Shane. Enjoy him, let him enjoy you, and take your life back.”
I’ve totally got this.