The minute Apollo stumbled into the bathroom, I started rehearsing what I’d say. I would begin with an apology. I would try to make her believe that I still loved her. That I just had to do this for the money. I couldn’t tell her about the sex. But I didn’t think the sex mattered.

The shower starts and all I can think is that she’s using my soap. That she’s going to smell like me.

I’m sitting on the edge of my bed, watching the bathroom door, and bracing myself for the conversation that I know is coming.

When the door flies open, I look up and nearly have a heart attack.

“Apollo?” I ask, my eyes riveted in a way that feels involuntary. She’s as naked as the day she was born. And she’s so fucking beautiful. I can’t breathe and whatever blood might have been powering my brain has coursed straight to my cock and all I can think is what I want to do to that body.

She’s petite. Her breasts are smaller than a handful, and her nipples are the color of dark unfiltered honey. And each one is pierced with a tiny golden arrow.

Fuck me.

“What do you think?” she asks.

“Please …” is all I can croak out as she saunters over to me.

“You don’t have to ask.” She kneels down between my knees and reaches up to run a hand down the center of my chest. I look at her face. Her glassy eyes are trained on my shirt, her grin is giddy. She’s drunk.

I should stop her. But that would mean touching her.

If I touch her, I won’t be able to stop.

My heart is thundering in my ears. I’m unable to speak, unable to move and watch as her fingers unfasten the buttons of my shirt. She yanks my shirt out of my waistband and unbuttons the last two. She shoves it down my shoulders and leans into me. Her soft body is warm and a little damp from the shower. Her wet hair brushes my arms as she works my shirt to my wrists.

Then she puts her lips on my throat and presses a kiss to them.

“Mmm, you taste so good, Star,” she hums against my Adam's apple. Then she opens her mouth and starts to suck.

With restraint I didn’t even know I had, I clutch the sheets to keep my hands from grabbing her. She kisses her way down my chest, leaving her bites and bruising kisses all over me.

She shoves me onto my back.

“You’re so damn gorgeous. Your body is incredible, Graham. I touch myself all the time thinking about you.” She runs a hand up and squeezes one of her nipples.

My fingers itch to touch it. I watch it furl and tighten, and I want to pull it into my mouth and suck it until she screams.

She straddles me, one knee on either side of my hips and I can’t help but look down.

Her pussy is beautiful. She keeps it bare. The lips are slightly darker than the rest of the skin around it, and they’re fat. Then she slides her hand down her stomach, and two of her fingers disappear between the folds of her pussy, and she moans.

“God.” She flings her head back, her back arched slightly, and she starts to move her hand. “My clit is so hard, Star … like it always feels when I think about you.” Her hand moves in small circles. And then it moves lower. She opens herself for me, and that delicate pink flesh glistens. I imagine she tastes like sunshine and sugar. That’s what she’s made of on the inside. I’m dying to put my mouth, my hands on her.

I won’t, though.

No matter how badly she says she wants me to. She’ll hate me in the morning.

She’ll hate you anyway. I close my eyes. This is what I do with my clients. It always works. But I can’t keep them closed. Not with her. I can’t detach myself. This feels like I used to think sex would. Her bare skin on mine is electrifying. My cock is throbbing, begging me to set it free. My whole body, my heart, my mind—all are on fire with the need for Apollo.

She lifts up and slips three fingers inside of her cunt and starts to fuck herself. “I have a dildo at home. I sit on it and ride it and pretend it’s your cock inside of me.” She puts her free hand onto my chest for balance and closes her eyes.

I almost weep. The strain of sitting through it is killing me. I want to flip her over, fold her in half and sink my aching cock into her wet, hot pussy.

She starts to call my name, and then suddenly she screams. The expression on her face is that of true ecstasy. But still, I don’t move. Not even when she drapes her bucking body over me, presses her forehead to mine and sobs my name as she comes.

She collapses onto me and we lie there, heaving bare chests pressed together in complete silence. My mind is reeling, my heart is beating so hard I know she can feel it, just as I can feel hers.

My hard, throbbing cock is pressed into her, and even through the denim of my jeans, I can feel the heat of her pussy. I try to adjust my hips, and she gasps. I wait for her to move. A minute later, I hear a soft snore.

“Apollo?” I call softly. When she doesn’t respond, I give her a gentle nudge.

She’s passed out cold. I lie there and try to calm myself down.

The rustle of the sheets is the only warning I have before her warm, supple body is pressed into my side. I tense at her touch, butshe just burrows herself into my side. I glance down, and her eyes are still closed.

This is fine. We’ve done this plenty of times. We’ve always shared a bed, and I like holding her while I sleep. But holding her will never be enough again.

When I close my eyes, all I can see are her swaying breasts. I imagine that I had leaned forward and taken the tip of her breast in my mouth.

I feel like a fucking animal thinking of her like that. Of using her the way those women use me. She’s the only person, besides my mother, who knew me when I was just Graham. She is the last good thing about me. And I’m about to lose her.

I slide away from her and start to get off the bed.

“Where you goin’?” she groans, and I jump.

“Sleep, Sunshine. I have to use the bathroom.”

“Hurry back,” she commands.

She’s grabbed my pillow and has wrapped her body around it. I watch her press her nose into it and take a deep whiff.

“I love the way your soap smells, by the way,” she says as I start to close the door behind me.

I turn on the water right away and hope that the sound of it disguises the sounds I’m about to make.

I take a second to catch my breath and try one more time to rid myself of this hard-on. I close my eyes and think of Nanette. I try to remember what her hands feel like. But, I can’t.

It’s like the air is infused with the essence of Apollo and every breath I take only makes my cock harder.

I hurriedly shove my sweatpants down and fist my cock. I prop my other hand on the edge of the sink while I stroke myself. The water is loud and hot, and soon the room is dense with steam, and I can’t even hear the sound of my harsh, ragged breathing.

I’m so lost in my pleasure and so close to coming that I don’t realize I’m not alone until I hear the door slam shut.

My heart nearly bursts in my chest when I turn around to see Apollo standing there. She’s got a small smile on her face. Her eyes are hooded and trained on my cock. I let go of it and start to pull my hands out of my pants.

“Don’t stop,” she drawls, talking over the sound of the running water and I freeze like a deer caught in the headlights. I groan but don’t move my hand away.

“Apollo, I was just …”

“I know,” she says, her voice catches on the last word. “Please … I want to watch you. Like you watched me.”

She walks over and turns the water off while my blood deprived mind races to catch up.

“We shouldn’t,” I say, my voice clogged with the tension of my throbbing cock.

She steps to stand right in front of me. I lean back against the sink, and she presses into me.

“Of course, we should.” She reaches between us, grabs my hand, and guides it back into my pants. She wraps my fingers around my cock and leaves her hand over it.

I hiss in relief at the contact and start to stroke myself again. I look down at her small hand wrapped around my much larger one. It’s erotic and unbelievably intimate. It’s also something I swore I wouldn’t do with her.

When I look up, her dark, sultry eyes are glued to my mouth.

“I’ve always wondered what you would feel like,” she confesses, stepping up on the balls of her feet so that her face is level with mine. Her eyes are serious and so full of desire that I have to look away to keep myself from shooting off right then.

“Apollo, this feels so fucking good, ah—" My words are choked by a moan as her other hand cups my balls. I throw my head back, and her lips brush my neck.

Then she opens her mouth and starts to suck my neck. She uses her teeth and tongue for extra suction, and I know she’s leaving even more marks.

Our hands move faster, and the tingle at the very base of my spine and deep inside my balls tells me I’m close.

“Apollo, I’m going to come,” I warn and suddenly her hand is gone.

She drops to her knees, puts her hands on my hips and pulls just the head of my cock into her mouth. As soon as I feel her tongue swirl around my straining head, I come. Hot, thick spurts of my cum shoot into her mouth, and she takes as much as she can before she pulls back. I fist myself again and stroke through the rest of my orgasm. I gasp and moan while I shoot out all over my stomach.

She stands up, her eyes wide and happy as she wipes her mouth with the back of her hand.

My stomach recoils as my lust fogged brain starts to clear and the realization of what a monumental mistake I’ve made settles in its place.

Her smile disappears, and she takes a step back as she watches my expression morph from sated to horrified.

And she should be. If she knew where I’d been, she’d wash her mouth out with bleach.

I turn my back on her, grasp both sides of the sink and hang my head in shame.

“We shouldn’t have done that. Not now. Not that …” I feel her moving toward me, and I stiffen my shoulders and say, “I think … you should go.