Promises
Graham
Two years later
LONDON, England
“So, what did you think?” I ask as we step out of the London Eye capsule we’ve spent the last hour in.
“It was amazing,” she sings in a dreamy voice.
This trip is an early eighteenth birthday present for Apollo. It’s still a couple of months away, but when school starts again, I know I won’t have the time to bring her.
“Whoa,” I nearly lose my balance when Apollo spins around and throws her arms around my waist, all without breaking her stride. “Sunshine, you’re gonna fall and take me with you.” I wrap my arms around her and move my feet so they’re outside of hers and try to keep us upright.
“Not a chance you’d ever let me fall,” she says giddily.
I mutter apologies left and right while Apollo twirls us around like we’re on the dance floor by ourselves.
“Why did I give you my champagne?” I mutter.
“Because.” She smirks mischievously and gives a coy glance. “I’m your favorite.”
She snuggles her head against my chest and laughs. It’s so carefree and … so fucking pretty. And, as always, she’s right. She is my favorite person. But it’s not just because she’s amazing. It’s how she makes me feel. Her faith in me. The way she trusts me to keep her safe. The rest of my life feels like a fucking struggle, but when I’m with Apollo, I always feel like I’m the king of the world.
My scholarship only pays half my tuition. And that means on top of room and board and helping my mom, I’ve got to come up with a lot of money each month. So, I work a lot and had to save every penny I could to afford this trip. Even then, I was only able to afford it because Dave’s brother, Jacob, lives here and is letting us stay with him. But, I’ve been wanting to give her this trip for a long time. And looking down at the smile of pure happiness on her face makes all of the sacrifice feel like nothing.
Once we’re on the walkway in front of the giant Ferris wheel, I force us to come to a stop.
“Why aren’t we walking anymore?” She pouts and wrinkles her nose at me.
“Because we’re going to fall, Sunshine.” I tug at her arms
“No, we won’t. I’m your cape, remember?” She smiles cheekily and only holds on tighter.
“Right.” I look over my shoulder and raise a mockingly skeptical eyebrow. “I hate to be the one to tell you this, but you’re on backward.”
“Well, maybe I’m the superhero, and you’re the cape,” she says.
“I’m not sure if I’m a cape, but you most certainly are a superhero.” I tap the end of her sweet nose before I pull her into me for a hug.
It’s almost eight o’clock in the evening. The riverside is awash in blue light from the hundreds of fairy lights strung on the trees that line either side of the walkway, and it makes the whole evening feel … magical.
“Thank you so much for today. It was perfect.” She pulls out of my hug and tilts her face up at me. The flurry of freckles that I love so much is even more prominent now than they’d been when she was a girl.
I cup her cheek, and take her in. The same blue lights that make the riverbank sparkle, flicker over face, and her hair.
“You’re perfect,” I say. A smile curves her peach-colored lips, their perfectly bowed shape still visible even when her lips widen. That chin of hers is so expressive, so fucking stubborn.
But it’s her eyes that are my undoing. They hold a universe of futures in them. Each of them composed of galaxies that burn bright with possibility. With them, she sees everything. And nothing and no one is insignificant when Apollo looks at them.
I want to be her.
I want to be hers. More than I want to be anything.
But I know this isn’t the time. Not yet.
“Thank you for the best eighteenth birthday anyone’s ever had.” She tips her head and smiles at me.
“The best anyone’s had? Ever?” I say doubtfully. But, I’m smiling right along with her, because I think it’s been pretty good, too.
“Ever,” she repeats, adding a firm nod of that expressive chin that makes me want to kiss her so badly.
“Well,” I stare upward in mock contemplation. “I think, that just maybe, the queen of this beautiful country might have had a better eighteenth than flying to London in economy class, sleeping on a friend’s pullout, and doing all of the fun stuff in London on the cheapest tickets possible.”
“Well, I bet she didn’t get to see Ryuchie Sakamoto perform just for her at The Royal Festival Hall,” she huffs.
“Apollo, we snuck into the rehearsal,” I remind her with a laugh.
“We did not sneak in. That lady let us in,” she protests but laughs, too.
“Only after you told her she could touch my hair.” I shake my head at how easily she talked into that ridiculous scheme.
“It worked, right?” she says as if that proves her point. She wanted to see that show so badly. I tried for months to get tickets. But, they were sold out at the box office. The scalper’s prices were way too rich for my blood. I told myself that I would bring her back. One day when I could afford it, and I’d surprise her with it.
I stop arguing and just let her enjoy her birthday. I know she doesn’t care we’re doing the city on a budget. Today is the best day I think either one of us has had in a long time.
“So, what’s next? I feel like we’ve done so much today already,” she asks and then yawns.
“You tired? I packed a lot into today. I figured we were only here for the weekend and I wanted to make sure we got to see as many of the major sites as possible. We can stay in tonight, if you—” I’d forced her to stay up when we landed early this morning. Dave said it was the best way to avoid jet lag. But it meant that we’d both been awake for almost twenty-four hours.
“No.” She stops us and pulls me to the railing that lines the Queen’s Walk and turns us so we’re facing each other. She grasps my hands in hers and says, “Tired is the last thing I am. This whole trip has been incredible. I can’t believe you remembered about Fortnum and Mason’s. That might have been better than meeting Zadie Smith and getting my first edition of White Teeth signed.” She laughs.
“How in the world could those little sandwiches and a cup of tea be better than meeting, and I quote, ‘favorite author and the muse of my life, Zadie Smith’?” I shake my head at her.
“Because I told you that story a very long time ago. And you remembered. Thank you so much.”
Her eyes sparkle with happiness and fuck … it’s nice to know I put it there. She raises up on her toes and presses her soft lips to my cheek for a kiss.
Then, she tilts her head toward the sky and sighs contentedly. Oh yeah, I’m the king of the fucking world. And I’m not done yet.
“You’re welcome.” I run the tip of my finger down her nose and stop myself from tracing the outline of her top lip.
“As much as I want to stand here and hear you praise my trip planning skills, this California by way of Texas boy is not used to all this walking. Let’s go look for a taxi. We have to cross to the other side of the river for our next stop.”
She moves so she’s beside me, but her arms stay looped around my waist.
I sling my arm over her shoulder and start us walking again.
“I like walking, and the weather is gorgeous. Is it really far?” she cajoles.
“Hold on, let me see.” I pull out my phone and open my maps app and type in our destination.
She rises to her toes and tries to peek over my arm. “Ooh, where are we going?” she asks, and I lift my phone higher and out her line of sight. “Oh, you’re no fun,” she complains and drops back to walk normally.
“It’s a surprise,” I tease and she bumps me with her hip.
“Another one? I’m going to faint if you do one more amazing thing. I don’t even know what to do with everything we’ve done today.”
“Enjoy it. I know your birthday isn’t for another couple of months, but once school starts, I knew finding time to do this would be impossible. So, I’m just glad we could do it now.” I read the directions and see the walk is less than fifteen minutes away.
“Yeah, me too. Especially because here, I don’t have to be eighteen to drink.” She nods enthusiastically.
“I don’t even know how you can stand the taste of alcohol.” I grimace.
“I don’t care about the taste, I like the way I feeeeel,” she coos.
“Well, just so long as you know the way you feeeeel won’t be so hot in the morning, knock yourself out. I’ll get us home safely.”
“Of course, you will. You’re my Grahamstar.” She gives me a squeeze around the waist.
“That name … Sunshine.”
“What? You know you love it!”
I do. But I’ll never stop giving her shit for it.
“This is fun. I wish we could see each other more often, you know?” she says. And it gives me the perfect segue into what I’ve been trying to work up the nerve to talk to her about.
“I’ve got one more year, and then I’m going to grad school.” I give her a sidelong glance. She’s looking straight ahead, but I can see the lifted corner of her mouth in profile.
“Are you going to stay at UCLA?” she asks, scuffing the toe of her sandals on the wide bricked pavement and shooting me a sidelong glance that gives me the confidence I need to get the rest of my words out.
“I was thinking … I could apply to schools in Las Vegas,” I say tentatively.
She skids to a stop and lets go of my waist. She whirls around to stand in front of me. Her eyes are wide with surprise, her mouth gaping open.
“Are you serious?” she shouts.
“Uh, yeah … why not? My grades are good. Extracurricular sucks because I work, but I think I have enough to get into the master’s in education programs at UNLV, I mean, if you—”
“Oh my God, Graham,” she screams and then launches herself at me. She wraps her limbs around me before I can even think to try and catch her.
“That is the best news, ever!” She squeals as she wraps her arms around my neck and squeezes so tight, she cuts off my oxygen.
But man, what a way to go.
She smells so good.
Feels even better.
I want to cup the back of her neck, press my lips to her throat and kiss my way up to her mouth. One day soon, I will.
“Do I want you to? Is that a real question?” She loosens her grip on my neck and leans backward and stares at me like I’m a crazy person. “Let’s see. Do I want my favorite human being in the whole wide world to finally live in the same place as me, so I can see him more than three times a year?”
She rolls her eyes and shakes her head. “Come on.”
“All right, cool. I’m thinking I should apply early decision, since it’s my first choice,” I tell her, feeling more confident now that I can see how happy she is.
She squeals and wraps her arms around my neck again and hugs me.
“Wait.” She pulls back suddenly. Her gaze is full of doubt suddenly. “What about your mom? Are you sure you want to leave her alone in LA?” She squints at me like she thinks maybe I haven’t considered it.
“She’s hardly alone. She’s got more of a social life than me. She’s got work, yoga. She’s friends with a lady named Becca ... I mean, it’s cool. Las Vegas isn’t that far away, so she can come up for a weekend or I can go down. Just like you do now.”
Her expression crumbles slowly. It starts with the softening of her eyes as they fill with tears, continues to the drooping of those always smiling cheeks, and ends with her pouting lower lip trembling. And then she buries her face in my neck and starts to cry.
“Hey, what’s all this?” I walk us to one of the benches lining the walk. By the time I set her down, she’s got tears streaming down her cheeks.
I squat in front of her, tilt her chin up with my finger and search her face, worry growing with every second she doesn’t respond.
“Apollo, talk to me,” I demand.
She turns those teary midnight eyes my way and says, “I’m just so happy.” She wails before she covers her face with her hands.
A bark of relieved laughter makes me throw my head back. When I look back at her, she’s smiling again.
“Things have been so hard at home. Being stuck there with Maman and all this stuff with my grandfather’s will. Lately, I’ve been thinking how I’ve never lived anywhere because I wanted to be there.”
“God, you’re almost eighteen, Apollo. It’s only seven years, really. Where are you in such a rush get to?”
“Life is short. I’m afraid I’m missing something. I wonder if the money’s worth it?”
“You’re not sure you want to inherit enough money to make you independently wealthy? You’d never have to work again.” We’ve talked about this so many times.
“I don’t mind working. I want to work.” She groans.
“Then you can. There’s nothing stopping you. But, let’s say something happened, and you couldn’t work, wouldn’t it be great if you could survive without it?” I can’t even imagine having that kind of security.
“That’s true. I mean, anything could happen. It’s just such a long time, and I want to start living now.”
She sounds so pained. All I can think is that I wish I had this problem.
“You’re young. You’ve got time. This time next year, I’ll be there.”
“Yes. Everything will be so much better,” she agrees and swipes her cheeks. She gives me a watery smile. “I’m so happy,” she says again and grasps my hands, links our fingers, and lifts it to her mouth for a kiss. When those soft lips touch the skin of my hand, it’s as searing as that brand was. I can feel the imprint of it on my heart.
She lets her mouth linger, and when I look into her eyes, I see something new there. But I recognize it because I feel it, too. I pull my hand away from her mouth and pull her back to her feet. “Well, then, mission accomplished,” I say. “Come on. If we don’t stop again, maybe we can make it there before the sun comes up.”
“I should make you carry me,” she complains, but she smiles as we start to walk.
“I should make you carry me. I’ve been all over this city today.”
“Don’t you exercise for a living? This should be a piece of cake.” She shakes her head at me in mock disappointment
“Yeah, well, you’re not the one who had to carry all those books we bought at Hatchards after that tea … those sandwiches wouldn’t satisfy a two-year-old.”
“I can’t believe we went to Hatchards!” she says excitedly.
After I took her to Fortnum and Mason’s, we walked next door to Hatchards, the UK’s oldest bookstore.
I only knew about it because Apollo had been going through a phase a couple of years ago when she read nothing but historical romance. And this bookshop was mentioned all the time. Even after more than two hundred years of operation, it’s very much like any Barnes and Noble in terms of its inventory.
Otherwise, the building is nearly untouched since it opened its doors more than two hundred years ago. The moss green exterior, large bay windows with wooden frames and the huge royal Warrant over its door make it look like something out of a Charles Dickens novel.
For book lovers like Apollo and me, it was a must see. We climbed up the original staircase to the third floor to take a picture on the famous tufted green leather sofa that sits with its back facing the window. We sat and stared at the feast of books in front of us and listened to the hubbub of the Piccadilly behind us. It had been a great day over all.
Except that I almost kissed Apollo. I know it’s stupid to be so prudish about this shit. I’ve been out of there for six years. But Mama reminds me almost every time I see Apollo that I need to finish school. That Apollo is still a girl.
So, I’ll wait. But once I finish my degree and get my master’s, I can get a good job.
I have a plan. From teaching to administration. And then, I’d have a salary that could make us comfortable. We’d still have to fly economy, but I could afford a hotel in London and a meal at The Savoy.
I could have picked a more lucrative career path, but I really want to teach. Reading a book is what put me in the right place at the right time when the sun fell from the sky and needed me to rescue her. And before that, my book was the hope I clung to even when I thought the world had forgotten I existed. I want to give that to other children.
Apollo believing I can makes me think I can, too. Now, it’s not just an idea. It’s a conviction. I wish the path was a little smoother, but nothing worth having is easy to attain. And Apollo is worth everything.