Chapter Thirty-Five

Avery

The moment the door to Jake’s SUV closed, I let the tears flow freely. I had been doing my best to blink back the tears when we were leaving the courtroom, but I had been failing. I didn’t care. My heart hurt. I had seen Iris in the courtroom. I had been hoping I would get to take her home. I turned to look at the car seat in the back. It wasn’t supposed to be empty.

My stomach was doing something that made me worried I was going to vomit all over Jake’s new car. I knew it was the nerves, stress, and grief. Seeing Iris and having her be carted away without me getting to hold her was like opening a wound that had just started to heal.

“It’s going to be okay,” I heard Jake saying.

I shook my head. “No, it isn’t. Stop saying that.”

He stopped talking and turned back to face the road. I wasn’t in the mood for his platitudes. Not anymore. He’d been saying it would be okay for weeks, and it was anything but okay. He had prepared me for what had just happened, and I knew he was convinced he could file an appeal, but I was losing hope. Janice hated us. I had no idea how much true power she had, but it felt like us versus the mountain. We were no match for her and her resources.

Jake stopped in front of the house. I couldn’t seem to find the strength to get out of the vehicle. I felt utterly depleted.

He got out and came around to my side, opening the door and offering a hand. I took it and let him lead me inside.

“I’m going to bed,” I mumbled and left him standing in the foyer.

I couldn’t stand the thought of sitting around the house all day. I wanted to sleep. I could sleep and forget the whole thing—I hoped. I thought about sending Jake out for some sleeping pills but thought better of it. Instead, I took off my dress suit jacket, pulled off my skirt, and climbed into bed in my black blouse and underwear. I truly didn’t give a shit if Jake came in. It wasn’t like he hadn’t seen me naked several times already.

“Can I get you anything?” I heard him say.

I had my back to the door and didn’t bother rolling over to look at him.

“No.”

I felt the bed sag a second before his hand was on my hip. “Avery, talk to me, please.”

I rolled onto my back and looked at him. “I’m not in the mood to talk, Jake. We lost.”

He shook his head. “We knew there was a chance that would happen.”

Tears were blurring my vision once again. “I didn’t expect it to be so hard.”

His face softened, and I could see he was in pain as well. “I know. It sucked. Janice is a nasty woman. I don’t know what her deal is, but she isn’t going to stomp all over us.”

“She already did.”

“Can you tell me more about Iris’s dad?”

“I only met him once. Seemed nice enough. Tracy met him about a month before she found out she was pregnant. That’s another reason she didn’t want to tell you the details. She was afraid of what you would think about her.”

He smiled. “I don’t think I’m one to judge anyone else about having sex on the first date, or second or whatever it was.”

“Well, you tend to be a little judgy,” I said, wanting to lash out at someone. He was the closest target.

“I know. I was. It was me wanting to protect her. She was my little sister, and no guy was good enough for her,” he said, looking sad.

“There’s a box in her apartment. It has his picture and other stuff that was his or that he gave to Tracy. She planned on giving it to Iris one day.”

“Okay. I paid the rent on the place for another month. We don’t need to clean anything out yet. I wasn’t quite ready to do it, and I didn’t think you were either.”

I shook my head. “No, I’m not, but it has to be done.”

He nodded and let out a long sigh. “Yes, it does. I imagine Iris won’t even fit into most of the clothes that are still there. We’ll have to buy her new stuff.”

“Why bother? You know they have already made up their mind.”

“Stop being so negative. Have a little faith.”

“Can you just go? I want to be alone,” I said.

I wasn’t in the mood to be positive or hopeful. I wanted to wallow in my misery. I hated hoping, because when you didn’t get what you hoped for, it was devastating. Now I felt hollow and shattered at the same time.

“I’ll leave you alone—for now. This isn’t over.”

He walked out of the room, shutting the door behind him. I burst into tears, letting out the pain that came with the thought of not having Iris in my life. What if it took another month or longer for the appeal to be processed? She would be walking and talking and wouldn’t remember me at all. I cried myself to sleep, finally too exhausted to think or shed another tear.

When I woke up, it was to find Jake standing over me.

I blinked several times. “What time is it?”

He smiled. “Close to five. I figured you could use something to eat since you skipped breakfast this morning.”

I sat up, fluffing the pillows behind me. It was then I noticed the tray sitting on the bedside table. I smiled when I saw the single yellow rose in a wine bottle.

I smiled at the kind gesture. “Is the bottle empty?” I asked.

He laughed. “It is, but there are plenty of full bottles downstairs. Here, try eating some toast. If that stays down and you want to try more, I’ll whip something up.”

“Thank you,” I said, taking the glass of ice water and gulping it down. All the crying had left me parched.

“I have my lawyer from California flying in with a couple of family law attorneys from his firm. They’re not licensed in Arizona, but I trust them. George has an old friend here in Phoenix who specializes in family law. He’s been looped in and is going to take our case. They’ll help him come up with a kickass strategy. If anything, having four corporate lawyers sitting at our table should be enough to scare old Janice a little.”

I smiled. “That is a very good thought. They’re flying in? On a weekend?”

He nodded his head and smiled. “Janice accused me of throwing money at my problems. Well, I’m about to prove her right.”

I laughed and shook my head. “I cannot even begin to imagine what it is costing you, but I’m glad you’re doing it.”

“Me too.”

“Thank you for not giving up and for letting me be a complete bitch earlier. I know it’s not your fault. You’re only trying to help me get through this. This isn’t easy for you either,” I said, feeling guilty for my temper tantrum earlier.

He smiled softly at me. “It’s really okay. I’m here for you. Yell, scream, cry all you want. I’ll take it. I just need you to keep your head up. Don’t give up.”

I took a bite of the toast and nodded. “I will try. I’m not quite as strong in my conviction to stay positive though. You’ll have to be strong enough for both of us.”

He laughed. “I can do that. Avery—”

I looked up from the toast. He was looking at me as if he wanted to say something important.

“What is it?” I asked, hoping he didn’t have more bad news.

His phone started vibrating in his pocket. “I better get this,” he said, jumping off the bed and practically running for the door.

I ate a little more toast and decided not to push it. My stomach was revolting.

I set the toast back on the tray and decided to take a shower. I let the water flow over me, hoping it would wash away the stress with it. I felt marginally better after the shower and headed downstairs. I checked the kitchen first and then the living room. I finally found Jake in the den, his face buried in his hands.

I walked to him and put my hands on his shoulders, gently rubbing. I could feel the tension and knew he was struggling. He had been strong for me. Now it was my turn to let him lean on me for a bit.

“Want to soak in the hot tub with a bottle of wine?” I asked.

I heard him chuckle before he wiped his face. “I take it you’re feeling better.”

“Somewhat. A little tub time always makes me feel a lot better.”

“Do we have to wear clothes?”

I laughed. “I don’t think there’s a dress code.”

“Then I’m game.”

I walked around to the front of the chair and grabbed his hand. He wrapped an arm around my shoulders and pulled me in for a firm hug. Together, we walked into the kitchen and picked out a bottle of red wine, pulled out a block of cheese, and grabbed some crackers before heading out to the patio.

“We better enjoy this now. I’m guessing once we have a baby in the house, parading around naked would be a bad idea,” he joked.

I laughed. “Yes. A lot of things will have to change. That’s okay. They will be good changes.”

Jake started to unbutton his shirt, looking at me as he did. The moment his shirt was off, I felt that familiar pull of desire. I could look at his body all day. It was a hard body but not overly muscular.

“You going to stare at me, or are you going to get those clothes off?”

“Oh, I’m just enjoying the show,” I said with a grin.

He smiled. “Look all you want.”

I watched as he pulled his slacks off. When he stopped at his underwear, I raised an eyebrow.

He grinned. “Naked?”

I nodded. “Naked.”

“All right then.”

I sucked in a breath as he dropped his briefs and stood before me in all his glorious nudity. I was going to miss that when all this came to an end. I would never be able to have sex with another man without thinking about Jake. No man could ever measure up to him, of that I was sure.

“Your turn,” he said, watching me with greedy eyes.

I smiled and stripped off my own clothes. I walked toward him, but instead of embracing him like I knew he was expecting, I dodged to the right and climbed into the hot tub.

I sighed in pleasure. “This is good,” I said, moaning.

“I can show you good.”

I giggled. “Not like this.”

He climbed in and took a seat opposite me. “This is pretty good. I can see why you always choose to do everything naked.”

I laughed. “I don’t do everything naked!” I protested.

He looked at me with such intensity, I squirmed under his gaze. “You do when you’re back here and you think no one’s looking.”

I narrowed my gaze at him. “Have you been spying on me?”

He winked. “I may have caught a glimpse of you.”

I laughed. “Well, you’re welcome for the free show.”

We sat back and enjoyed our wine with cheese and crackers. By the time we got out, we were both feeling much better. I had more confidence things would work out in our favor. Of course, a little alcohol could always make a person see things in a different light.

It was going to be a long weekend filled with a lot of ups and downs. It was an emotional rollercoaster that I for one could not wait to get off.