Chapter Seven

Avery

My legs were shaking, which made sense since my hands were as well. I was a mess. I felt weak, as if the weight of the world were on my shoulders and threatening to make me collapse under the pressure. The image of being on a roller coaster that twisted and turned before spinning upside down popped into my head. That was what the past week felt like.

Everything I had been dreading was happening. I didn’t understand why I couldn’t keep Iris. I mean, I did sort of understand their reasons, but it was stupid. I was doing fine taking care of her. Iris would be so loved in my care. I knew I couldn’t buy her the best of everything, but I could take care of her, love her, and in my mind, that was far more important. I would get a job and have a career and all that. It was going to take some time, but I was not the first young, single woman struggling a bit. That didn’t mean I wasn’t going to be a good mom to my goddaughter.

Iris started to cry in the car seat. I needed to get her settled before I put her in the car, so I sat down on a bench outside the building and unfastened the straps to pull her out of the seat. I needed a few minutes to get control of my own wild emotions as well before I got behind the wheel of my car with my precious cargo in the back seat.

“Hi, sweetie. What’s the matter?” I cooed. “Let’s get you some lunch before we get back in the car.”

I reached into the special pocket of the diaper bag and dug out the bottle Sally had prepared for me. I leaned back and cradled Iris as she greedily drank down the formula. I stared at her blue eyes and was hit by an overwhelming sadness. Her sweet, cherub-like face pulled at my heartstrings.

I couldn’t stop it from happening. Tears streamed down my face as I silently cried on the bench in the middle of the day. I had one hand cradling Iris and the other holding the bottle. I couldn’t wipe the tears away, so I let them fall. I could only imagine what people would think as they walked by the woman bawling her eyes out on the bench while holding a baby. I prayed that Janice woman didn’t magically appear out of nowhere and demand I hand over Iris because I was too unstable.

Turns out it wasn’t Janice I needed to worry about.

“Hi,” Jake said, sitting beside me.

I inwardly groaned and looked down at Iris, hoping he wouldn’t see my tears. My mascara was probably making black streaks under my eyes despite the claim that it was waterproof. I didn’t want him to see me broken, and that was exactly what I felt like. I felt broken.

“What do you want?” I managed to choke out.

“Let me take her,” he said and gently reached for the baby.

I held on tight. “I’ve got her. She’s fine.”

“You’re not.”

I relaxed my arms and gave the baby and the bottle to him before reaching into the diaper bag and pulling out one of the diaper wipes. I quickly dabbed at my face, not wanting to completely wipe off my makeup.

“Thanks,” I said.

“Why are you crying?” he asked.

I shook my head slowly, unable to talk around the lump in my throat. I didn’t want to tell him anything, but before I knew it, I was pouring out my soul.

“I can’t believe she’s gone,” I blurted out. “Tracy’s been my best friend for so long. I don’t know how I’ll live without being able to call her and talk to her. She was so kind. She always knew exactly what to say. And Iris. I’m going to lose her, too. They’ll never decide in my favor. I’m broke. I don’t even have a real job, and I rent a single room from an old lady who is super kind, but she’s really old.”

Jake didn’t say anything. He nodded his head and let me talk. Once I started, I couldn’t seem to stop. Everything had been bottled up inside for days, and once the cork was popped, it kept flowing.

“I know there isn’t a judge in his or her right mind who would give me custody. I just graduated college and can’t seem to find a job. Tracy would be so disappointed in me. I hate that I’m letting her down. I love Iris. I love her like she was my own baby.”

I buried my face in my hands, mortified I had bawled my eyes out in front of my opponent. I had given him all the ammunition he needed to take Iris away from me. I felt like a complete fool. The man had proven he was ruthless. It was too late now. The damage was done.

“Avery.”

I cringed. “What?” I kept my eyes on the ground, unable to look at him.

“Look at me.”

I sighed and lifted my face, knowing I probably looked a mess. “What?”

“I have an idea.”

“What?”

“I have an idea, and I want you to listen before you automatically shoot it down. Okay?”

“Go on.” I could listen all he wanted, but any idea he had was not one that would appeal to me.

“We should get married,” he said.

I looked at him before I leaned close to see if I smelled alcohol on his breath. I didn’t smell anything. I burst into laughter. He was crazier than I was. I immediately stopped laughing and stared at him. He was teasing me. That wasn’t cool.

“You’re funny. Mean, but funny.”

He shook his head. “I’m not joking. I’m dead serious.”

“Why in the world would we get married? You don’t like me, and I certainly don’t like you.”

He grinned. “That’s kind of mean.”

I scrunched my face at him. “It’s the truth.”

“Listen, if we get married, we satisfy little Miss Janice’s problems with both of us. I have the money and financial stability. You have the good reputation and a bond with Iris. We’re the perfect pair to take care of Tracy’s baby. Think of it as a merger. We are doing something that is mutually beneficial for each of us and absolutely the best option for Iris.”

I was smiling as he talked. He was cute. And funny. And completely out of his mind. “Sure, Jake. That sounds like a great idea.”

He handed me the empty bottle and then somewhat awkwardly put Iris over his shoulder. I fought the urge to help him get her adjusted. If he wanted to play daddy, he was going to have to learn how to do this himself.

“Listen, think about it. I don’t have a house here in Phoenix, but I can get one. I’ll rent something. We both move in and show the court that we have a stable home with plenty of money and love to give to Iris. That’s what they want. We can fake it long enough to get them to give us custody of Iris,” he said, his voice full of excitement.

“And then what? We divorce and fight over custody again?” I asked.

“Well, no. We can have some kind of agreement. I’ll make sure the house is big enough that we can each have our own space. We will have the same address and all, but we won’t actually be living together. I’ll be in California quite a bit. You’d have the house to yourself. You wouldn’t have to work. You could be Iris’s full-time caretaker or mom or whatever you want to be,” he said, talking fast as if the thoughts were all trying to rush out of his mouth at once.

I shook my head. “I’m going back to my original statement. You’re crazy. It would never work, and I think Janice is a lot smarter than you’re giving her credit for. I don’t think she liked you or your arrogance. You can’t buy everything, Jake,” I said with exasperation.

I felt like I was talking to a five-year-old. He was a little boy living in an adult world with too much money at his disposal. I doubted he remembered how regular folks lived. We had to work hard for what we wanted. We had to make sacrifices. He wanted the cake, the icing, and ice cream without having to give up anything.

“We could make it work. Didn’t you just have a breakdown because you’re going to lose Iris? I’m giving you an option.”

I reached for the baby and put her on my shoulder. I didn’t know what he was attempting to do, but his burping skills needed some serious help. I expertly patted her back and was rewarded with a healthy burp almost immediately. The look on Jake’s face when she belched was hilarious.

“Wow,” he muttered. “That was a big burp for a little body.”

I grinned. “You should hear the other sounds she makes.”

He looked horrified. “Anyway, will you please think about it? We can draw up some kind of agreement that only we know about. Of course, we can’t let the court know it is a marriage of convenience and we are basically cheating the system.”

I tucked Iris back into her car seat and buckled her in tight. “Jake, I’m not interested in defrauding the government.”

“It isn’t defrauding. We’re not taking anything from them. We are doing something that actually saves them a lot of time and resources. They won’t have to put her in a foster home or go through this whole process,” he reasoned. “No one is losing. It is Iris who will benefit.”

I stood and wiped off my pantsuit before I looked down at him. He was looking at me expectantly, as if he actually thought I would agree with him.

“Jake, seriously, it isn’t going to work. I mean, thank you for trying, and I guess I should be grateful you were trying to think of a way to help me stay in Iris’s life, but we don’t even know each other. I don’t see how the three of us could live together and be happy.”

His eyes turned dark. “We know each other pretty well if I remember correctly. Better than most people know each other.”

I felt my skin flush with heat at his innuendo. He was talking about our one night together. What an asshole.

“That doesn’t count. If you remember correctly, we knew each other, briefly, seven years ago. We’ve never so much as exchanged a hello in all that time. I don’t know you,” I said before picking up Iris and stomping to my car.

Once I had her buckled in, I jumped in the driver’s seat, ready to get away from him and the horrible people who were going to take Iris away.

How dare he bring up that night. As if that would convince me he was a guy I would want to marry, even if it were a fake marriage. I started the car, letting the AC wash over me. I closed my eyes and leaned my head back, letting myself dance in that memory for a moment. He had changed me that night in more ways than one.

He had been my first, but it was more than that. I had several short relationships over the years, but no matter what, I could never find a man who gave me pleasure like Jake had that night. I knew it was because he was my first and a girl never forgot the man who took her virginity. I still hated myself for letting him take it. I should have stayed strong and told him to get lost.

“Let’s go home,” I told Iris, who appeared content in the back seat. “Sally will be missing you.”

I backed out of my spot and headed out of the parking lot. I caught a glimpse of Jake climbing into the back of a black car with blacked-out windows. The man probably didn’t even have a driver’s license. Why would he when he could pay people to drive him wherever he wanted to go?

“Spoiled much?” I growled before heading toward Sally’s house.

I was only a little jealous of his success.