Chapter Forty

 

 

 

 

I didn’t know where we were going and the truth was, I didn’t care. I had my arms around Jordan Steele and my heart was racing in my chest. He’d come back for me and I was feeling breathless.

I knew right away that I still loved him.

We drove for about forty minutes and then finally stopped at a secluded picnic area, by Center Lake.

“Get off,” he said briskly, shutting down the engine.

I took off the helmet. “Really? Get off? That’s how you’re going to ask?”

He shrugged. “Fine. Stay on, then.”

“Do you ever get tired of giving orders?” I snapped, uncurling myself from him and the bike. “I mean would it hurt you to even say ‘please’?”

He removed his helmet and ran a hand through his jet-black hair. “At least you listened this time. Jesus, it’s hot.” It was eighty degrees and he was wearing a black suit. Although Jordan looked very GQ, it was obvious that he wasn’t used to dressing up.

“Let me guess, you’re still pissed off that I came and saved your ass?” I stated.

Smirking, he removed his jacket and laid it over the bike. “Oh, you saved my ass? That’s really how you remember it?”

I put my hands on my hips. “It’s exactly what happened. Reaper had you on the ground and I rushed out, distracting them so they wouldn’t shoot you. You were about two seconds from dying.”

He grunted. “You’re definitely the expert on distractions.”

I folded my arms across my chest and smiled coldly. “I’m also a pain in the ass, apparently.”

His eyes twinkled. “You’re finally finding yourself, huh?”

“Did you bring me out here to insult me or is there another reason?”

“I brought you out here because I heard that you wanted to talk to me.”

My eye twitched as I stared at him.

Really?

“So, talk,” he added, rolling his sleeves up...

“Fine. I guess that I just wanted to know why you left and never came back.”

Sighing, he looked past me toward the water. “If I would have stayed, they’d have arrested me.”

“I understand that, but why didn’t you ever come back after that night?”

“I was going to,” he said, his voice trailing off.

“And?”

He shrugged. “I don’t know. I just changed my mind, I guess.”

“What? You just changed your mind? That’s… that’s… not a good enough answer,” I stammered. “You left me! I was scared and I didn’t know what to do. The cops were questioning me and hell, I didn’t even know if there’d be more of Reaper’s guys around, waiting to kill me!”

“There weren’t any left. I took care of them and made sure that you were safe.”

“No you didn’t. You left like a coward,” I said angrily.

“I was still there, until the day you stepped on the plane and headed back here,” he said. “I never left Anchorage. I just left you.”

My eyes filled with tears. “And that’s supposed to make me feel better?”

He reached out and grabbed my arm. “No, but you need to hear this, Jessica.”

My voice broke. “What exactly do I need to hear, Jordan? That you have no room in your life for me?”

He stared at me in silence, his eyes stormy.

“That’s just it, isn’t it? You came back to tell me this in person. To make sure that I’m not pining after you. So you don’t have to feel guilty about it.”

“You can’t love me, Jessica.”.

“But, I already do,” I said, the tears running down my cheeks. I’d thought that maybe I’d been caught up in the moment, when I’d said I’d loved him originally. I’d even thought that after I returned to Jensen, I wouldn’t feel the same way. But I’d been wrong. All I’d been thinking about was Jordan. He haunted my days. My nights. My dreams.

“You hardly know me.”

“It doesn’t seem to matter,” I replied, feeling almost foolish. Here I was, professing my love for him and he obviously felt nothing but pity for me.

He clenched his jaw. “It should. You have to forget about me. I mean it.”

My eyes burned into his. “Jordan, no matter how many times you try and order me to stop caring about you, I just can’t do it. It doesn’t work that way.”

He grabbed my face with both of his hands. “What are you doing to me?” he asked, wiping the tears from my cheeks with his fingers. Then his lips were on mine.

Surprised, I opened my mouth, kissing him with everything I had. 

“I don’t care if you ever love me,” I said, when he suddenly broke away. “But I’m not ready to let you go yet.”

“What do you want from me?” he asked in a ragged voice. His pupils were dark and full and his lips glistened from the moisture our kiss.

I bit my lower lip. My body was on fire and I knew that he couldn’t give me everything that I desired, but he could at least give me something that I needed. Right now, I needed him. “Just… make love to me.”

He stared at me hard. “You’re not ready for that.”

“There you go again. Deciding what’s right for me. How about you let me decide what I’m ready for?”

“That’s what you really want?”

I nodded.

He looked around the park and then grabbed his jacket. “Put your helmet on.”

This time, I didn’t argue or ask questions.

We got back onto the bike and he drove a few more miles up the road, finally stopping at a small camping resort. He parked in front of one of the cabins and we both got off his motorcycle. Then he grabbed my hand, and led me inside.

“Are you staying here?” I asked, as he locked the door behind us. It appeared to be a three-room cabin. Nothing fancy but comfortable and private.

“Yes,” he said, taking the helmet from me. He tossed it onto the sofa, pulled me back into his arms, and didn’t waste any more time with words.

Kissing him back, I pulled his jacket away from his shoulders, letting it fall to the floor and began unbuttoning the white shirt underneath. As I did this, his hands went to my blouse and he began fumbling with the small, round buttons. When he couldn’t undo them fast enough, he grabbed it with both hands and ripped it open, sending them everywhere.

“Sorry,” he whispered, cupping my breasts. “But, I just couldn’t wait.” He unclasped the front of my bra and lifted my left breast to his mouth.

I moaned as he swirled his tongue around my nipple, sucking the tip. Then he moved to the other one, teasing the nub while he kneading the other breast with his hand.

“You smell so good,” he said, moving his lips up to my neck, giving me shivers.

“So do you,” I whispered back, inhaling his cologne, which reminded me of the night at the boathouse.

He picked me up into his arms and began walking toward the bedroom. “We’re doing it right this time.”

I smiled up at him shyly. I felt like a bride being carried over the threshold.

Jordan brought me inside and set me down on the bed. Staring down at me, he removed his shirt and was about to unbutton his slacks, when he changed his mind.

“What’s wrong?” I asked.

He crawled onto the bed. “You’re not completely naked yet,” he said, smiling wickedly. “That’s what’s wrong.”

I began unbuttoning my slacks, but he stopped me and began doing it himself. Then he pulled them down and away from my legs. I stared down at him in only my panties.

“You know I got to ask this again,” he said, crawling back up to me. “Are you sure that you’re ready for this?”

“I’m ready for you.”

Smiling, he leaned down and kissed me. As I opened my mouth for him, his hand reached between my legs and he groaned in the back of his throat. “I guess you are ready. Well, almost,” he whispered, sliding his fingers under the fabric.

I moaned and clung to him as he played with my clit. When the panties began to get in his way, he pulled them off and started kissing me again, slipping his hand back between my legs. Meanwhile, his lips moved to my neck and he whispered below my ear. “I guess if we’re going to be honest here, I have to admit something to you.”

“What?”

“I can’t get you out of my mind.” His fingers moved faster.

“I… know… what… you… mean...”

“I want you so much, Jessica. Do you want me?”

“Yes,” I said breathlessly. “Oh my God, yes.”

His lips moved to my breasts and then down my stomach. As he went lower, I began to anticipate his tongue between my legs and they began to quiver. He grabbed my thighs, placing them over his shoulders, and then licked my slit slowly.

“Fuck,” I moaned as he did it again.

Gripping my hips, firmly, he found me clit and began teasing it with his tongue. I grabbed the headboard behind me, whimpering and moaning in pleasure. He added his fingers and as his tongue became more demanding on my clit, I felt the tension building from deep inside. Arching my back, I exploded into his mouth, screaming his name as the flesh between my legs spasmed.

“Oh my God,” I whispered, closing my eyes. I could feel tears streaming out of the corners from what had just happened and I wiped them with the back of my hand.

Jordan grabbed my other hand and kissed my knuckles. Then, he placed it on his stomach and let go. “You’re in charge. Touch me or don’t. Do whatever you can handle. If you’re not ready, I’ll understand that, too.”

I bit my lower lip.

“I’m serious, Jessica,” he lay down on his back and kissed my knuckles again. “We can also just lie here, if you want.”

I smiled and then crawled on top of him. “I think we can do a little more than that.”

He pulled me down to his lips and we began to kiss. Closing my eyes, I could feel his hardness under me. I hadn’t yet really touched him there, but I needed to. For many reasons. I reached down and placed my palm on his bulge.

Jordan groaned against my lips.

Encouraged, I made a trail with my finger, along the hard outline of his erection and he began to breathe harder. Enjoying the effect I was having on him, I slid my hand to the waistband of his pants, and boldly unbuttoned them. I then unzipped the front and touched him through his underwear.

Jordan’s entire body seemed to stiffen up.

I slid my hand under his Jockey’s and wrapped my hand around his cock.

He gasped in pleasure.

“It’s beautiful,” I whispered, enjoying the way it felt in my hand. It was thick and hard, its skin smooth, especially the head. I stared at the tip, noticing it was slightly wet.

Jordan stared up at me, not speaking but his eyes saying everything.

I rubbed the wetness away and then leaned down until it was by my lips. I opened my mouth and began licking around the edge.

He let out a ragged breath, thrusting his hips out.

Smiling to myself, I opened my mouth wider and went down on it, like a popsicle.

“Fuck,” he gasped, watching as I did it again and again.

“Do you like this?” I asked, licking the side of it. As I watched his excitement grow, I could feel myself getting wet again.

“You keep doing it, I’m going to come,” he said, gritting his teeth.

I wanted him to, but I also wanted to feel him inside of me. If it was the last time we were together, I at least wanted to experience sex with someone I cared about, hopefully erasing a little of the memories of the last time. With Breaker.

“Make love to me,” I whispered, releasing him.

He pulled my face down to his and began kissing me hungrily. I could feel his cock between us, against my stomach and I touched it again.

Jordan suddenly flipped us over, so that he was above me and staring down. “You sure?”

“Yes. Very,” I said spreading my legs wider.

He leaned down and kissed me while positioning the tip of his penis at my opening. Rubbing it around my wetness, he slowly began to slide it in.

I moaned in pleasure, feeling the thickness of him fill me up.

“You’re so tight,” he said, suddenly stopping all movement. “I have to take this slow for both of us.”

I closed my eyes and a sudden image of Breaker flashed through my brain. I stiffened up.

“What is it?” he asked, noticing.

I opened my eyes. “Nothing,” I lied.

Sensing that the mood had changed, he touched my cheek. “It’s just us. You and me.”

I nodded.

“Keep your eyes on me and don’t close them,” he whispered. “Watch me make love to you, Jessica.”

“Okay,” I whispered.

He pulled out and then slid back. Then he did it again, all the while staring down into my eyes. “You’re so damn beautiful. I mean it.”

Relaxing, I wrapped my legs around his hips and stared back up at him. “You’re not so bad yourself.”

“How does it feel?”  he asked in a husky voice, moving more quickly now.

“Good,” I replied

“I agree,” he said, gritting his teeth.

As his hips began to move faster and deeper, a tingling from deep inside began to grow.

“That’s my girl,” he said, reaching down to strum my swollen clit as he continued plunging into me.

“Yes,” I moaned, now meeting his thrusts.

He suddenly stopped and flipped us over, so that I was on top, straddling him. “Time for you to take the wheel,” he said, cupping my breasts.