I needed out. I thought I’d be okay knowing Lake was out and safe, but now I needed to see for myself that she was okay. She looked off during the hearing and not because she was concerned about me. I needed to know what caused this new fear I sensed.

I never wanted to be back here. Never thought I would be. In a way, Lake had screwed me. I cared for my future and no longer ran from my past. Consequently, I lost what it took to survive this place. Prison would be worse. I’d need to fight—possibly kill—to survive but I’d never get her out of my head. She was a permanent part of me.

My cell door opening provided me escape from my inner turmoil. “You have a visitor.”

I smiled at the thought of Lake fulfilling my need to see her. Only a few hours had passed since she’d been released. I gave Dash strict instructions not to let her leave Nevada for any reason, not that she could. I figured she’d be back to tell me how stupid I was for being okay with all this.

I made my way to the visitor room and tried to hide my disappointment at the sight of my brother sitting at the table instead. His hands were fisted, covering the bottom half of his face. His head was down so he didn’t see me approach.

“What’s going on?”

When his head lifted at the sound of my voice, and I got the first glance at his teary gaze, I nearly lost it. Keenan was known to be overly emotional but there were only two times I remember seeing him like this—the day he found out I killed our mother and the day he almost lost Sheldon in a car crash.

“I—there was—fuck.” He stumbled over words even as his eyes filled with more tears.

“Spit. It. Out.” His undoing was provoking mine. I knew this was bad, and I wasn’t all that sure anymore that I wanted to know.

“Dash, man. He was shot after the hearing.”

Every fiber of my being crumbled into a questionable existence. My mind couldn’t quite piece together all he was telling me. It was probably why I didn’t move or speak for far too long.

Dash had been shot after the hearing.

I didn’t need to ask if his injuries were serious. The emotional state of my brother was enough to go on, but then it clicked.

Lake had been with Dash. He was supposed to take her somewhere safe, but something happened to him. I could have very well lost my best friend, but my mind was now stuck on one thing.

“Where’s Lake?”

“We don’t know. We do know she was with him when he was shot. She sent a message to the group just before he was shot.”

“What did it say?”

“Summit County Hospital. It’s where Dash was found shot in the parking garage.”

“That doesn’t make sense. Why would she be at the hospital in Summit?” I knew Keenan wouldn’t have these answers with Dash injured and Lake missing, but the questions that tormented my mind spilled out anyway.

Guilt was already chipping away at what remained of it. I was given a family to care about with the same in return. I was supposed to keep them safe. Instead, my best friend was probably dying, and the girl who fearlessly chased away my monsters was missing.

I finally realized they were safer when I walked among the monsters, so I stopped running away from the inevitable. I knew what I had to do.

“Find whoever touched them, and I’ll kill them. I’ll do it. I don’t care if I have to destroy my goddamn soul in the process.”

There was no turning back.

I let the monsters back in.

 

* * *

Keenan had looked on in disappointment before he silently stood up from the table and left. I waited for the guard to come for me and led me back to my cell. When the bars loudly shut behind me, I embraced the darkness of my heart once again and melded with the shadows of the cell. I leaned my forearms against the concrete wall and hid my face. I willed myself to breathe when all I wanted was to kill.

I was useless behind bars and as helpless as Lake and Dash, but if I had to keep the motherfucker who tried to take them from me on ice for twenty years, I’d welcome the anticipation.

“Inmate!” The nightstick hitting my cell door caught my attention and pulled me back to temporary sanity. “You’re popular today. You have another visitor.”

I ran through the list of people it could be and came up short. Thompson had to return to Seattle to wrap up a case. I was led back to the visiting room I had left only an hour ago. When I walked inside, I stopped short, taken aback once again.

I might have been staring at a ghost. She sat ramrod straight with her attention on a man sitting next to her. I blinked hard to clear my vision of the reddening haze. I recognized him instantly as the PI behind Kennedy’s kidnapping and John’s death. I still wasn’t sure whether to believe the latter considering the source it had come from.

He looked up at the same time she did. I knew she sensed me. Her body tensed when she found me standing there, but my attention wasn’t on her. It was focused on the grinning fucker who also stared back at me. When he reached up to twirl a lock of her hair, I lost it.

I rushed forward, intending to kill him here and now. Turns out, I wouldn’t have to wait twenty years after all.

No one saw me make my move. They were all oblivious. It was the perfect window of opportunity. I could practically smell his blood, but then Lake stood up, her chair scraping the floor as it slid backward. The plea held within in her blue-green eyes won me over.

Damn her.

“Why?” I growled at her—or rather, the monsters did. They smelled blood and retribution.

“This isn’t you anymore,” she reminded.

I snarled at her and watched her shrink back. “You’re wrong. It is me. It always has been.” She knew what her disappearance had done to me. What if Dash didn’t make it?

“I hate to break up this moment, but I’m not here for this shit. Sit.”

“Fuck you.” I’d be damned if I obeyed and took the commands given to a dog.

“No, I don’t think so, but you will sit.” He gripped Lake tighter than necessary, and she stifled a cry. I picked up on his subtle threat to use her against me. I gritted my teeth and sat after noticing a nearby guard’s attention was focused on our table.

“Let her go.” My hands itched to get his hands off her. He had to be six shades of stupid to touch what’s mine.

“I will as soon as you give me what I want.”

“Which is?”

“I want you to plead guilty to the murder of your father.”

“What do you know about his murder?”

“I killed him, son. Isn’t it obvious?” he scoffed as if he were truly affronted.

“What’s not obvious is why you think I’d plead guilty to his murder?”

He nodded his head at Lake who wisely remained silent the entire time. I knew the shock of my backward slide into darkness was what had her nearly catatonic. “Because I’ll make her suffer to the very last moment. I’ll fuck her, too. I’m curious to know what kind of treasure lies underneath her tight clothing. She might as well be wearing nothing. She’s just as sexy in or out.”

“You’re not going to touch her.”

“I beg to differ. Maybe I’ll touch her anyway as a bargaining chip not to kill her.”

“You touch her, then you might as well kill her. She’ll be useless to me.” I heard her intake of breath and willed myself not to look at her. One look would give everything away.

“That’s funny you say that. She seemed confident in your love for her just hours ago.”

I knew men like Greg. He was going to kill her, and possibly rape her, whether I pled guilty or not. It was in his eyes. As soon as he left here and got her alone, he’d rape and kill her. I hated what I had to do but Lake was alone. I was stuck in here and everyone was preoccupied with Dash’s shooting. No one would be able to save her, including me.

“She a fucking chick. I take good care of my toys, and she’s a decent fuck. Her virginity was a bonus and kept me around. I’m a killer, motherfucker, not a lover.”

I did look at her then and tried to convey the reality of her situation. I just hoped she didn’t wait until the last minute to realize just how alone she was. She was going to have to save herself.

I held Greg’s stare, but my next words were for her. “I’m stuck behind bars. I can’t fight, so you do what you have to do. You’ll win.”