What can we do about it… Eden
CHAPTER 11
Phillip stood in a darkened alcove at the Abernathy ball and watched Eden from across the room. His conscious was still smarting from the uncomfortable conversation he and his mother had participated in the afternoon that Sophie had paid her unexpected visit on.
He hadn’t taken Sophie seriously when she had been expressing her concerns regarding her friend. Sophie had always been a bit headstrong and impulsive. But Phillip was stunned that Sophie would even think that he would consider ruining an innocent woman. And for that woman to be Eden was unfathomable. Had she no idea of how much Eden had come to mean to him? It had struck Phillip then that, perhaps, he wasn’t as detached as he had previously thought.
It had hit home when his mother had cornered him and laid out her concerns as well. The Dowager had accused him of being a philanderer and a profligate. It was true that he enjoyed women and that he had enjoyed many different types of women. But to be reckless and completely out of control, he wasn’t sure if that was something he wished his own mother to feel him capable of. She didn’t say the words, but it was in her eyes: he could see that she was terrified he had turned into his father. And that alone disgusted him.
And then there was this obsession with Eden Norfolk. Even after his mother had pleaded with him to get his life in order and to be the man that Phillip thought he already was. She told him that if his intentions were not honorable, he would need to give her up immediately. Eden deserved more, and the most sickening feeling descended into his gut because Phillip knew that indeed Eden deserved more. Much more than a rake and degenerate like himself could offer her.
He flashed back to years previous, before he had joined up in fighting for the war. His father had been out carousing, always smelling of another woman’s perfume. Phillip remembered jumping out of his seat, terrified at standing up to his father, and yet knowing that he couldn’t let this go on any longer. He began yelling at him, asking him why he had destroyed their family.
The old marquis just turned a sallow eye on him, and a sadistic smile slashed across his face. “You too will turn into the same bastard I am. I never wanted to be this way. I hated my father for his supposed crimes against my family. But you will find out, Phillip, that love is a farce and “happily ever after” is a fairy tale. Take what you can get because it will all slip through your fingers regardless of what you do.”
The next day Phillip had signed up for the army. He had used his own funds to purchase his colors. He didn’t make it back in time for the funeral when he had gotten word his father had passed. When he finally was free from the army and went to his mother, she was a broken woman. She refused to leave the country estate. He could only stand the melancholy for so long before it began to eat at him.
He began staying longer and longer in town. Phillip searched for more things to keep him entertained. And slowly the old marquis’ prophecy began to come true. Phillip found that love really was a farce. Happily, ever after didn’t happen to people like him or the people in his family. He began to live hard, drink more, to take what he could get, because it was all slipping through his fingers regardless of how hard he had tried to hold on to it.
And then he met Eden, and his theory was shot to hell. Phillip didn’t know if he believed in love. But he believed in her. He couldn’t let this one go, though he didn’t know why she had become the most important woman in the world to him. But he felt that it was imperative to his happiness to find out. And for the first time in many years, he felt hope that he might find happiness again.
Eden had begun to move, and Phillip had known it was only a matter of time before she would pass this alcove. When she did, he would be ready. He had promised to help her, and heaven above knew how much his body was willing to participate. But his mother was right. He wasn’t going to ruin her. They could get to know one another better without all-out intimacy. Phillip knew that there was more to life than sex.
At least that was what he had heard. He was willing to explore it as an option if he could be closer to her.
*****
Eden was bored. The other Bluebells had been successful in their endeavors tonight. And while it made her smile to see little Eva dancing and Hazel smiling up at a handsome Lord, it didn’t help soothe her aching heart. She hadn’t seen Phillip in several days now, but she had been so certain that there had been a connection there.
Beatrice waltzed by in the arms of Lord Bosworth, her eyes narrowing in concern when they met Eden’s. Eden quickly smiled and shook her head, motioning for her friend to continue dancing. She knew full well that Beatrice would have no issue walking away in the middle of the dance floor if she thought that Eden needed her to. In truth, these two never looked truly comfortable dancing together.
Eden’s smile grew more genuine as she thought that the Bluebells had truly become a sisterhood. It was such a comforting feeling to know that there were others out there that cared about how she felt and not how she looked.
Eden glanced at Lord Bosworth, who was decidedly not amused that his dancing partner was not attending him. Eden couldn’t help but giggle. Beatrice and Lord Bosworth’s younger sister had been inseparable growing up, so they knew each other well. Lord Bosworth was one of the most handsome men Eden had ever seen; his nickname was Sinful Samuel, and she could only imagine how that came to be.
Sure enough, Eden could see Lord Bosworth’s lips moving while a blush stole up Beatrice’s cheeks. Apparently, he had garnered her attention back.
Eden had decided that she was tired of this location and went in search of some refreshment. Just as she passed a potted fern, a strong hand grasped her elbow, and she flew backward into a little alcove she hadn’t known existed, landing against a decidedly firm chest.
She spun around only to have two hands be planted on either side of her face against the wall behind her. There was not a lot of room to maneuver.
Her eyes flew to her captor’s face, and her heart at once settled down from its fear and took flight from the look of pure lust staring back at her.
“It took you long enough to get here,” his voice was deep and low.
“I didn’t know you were waiting,” she whispered.
His eyes smiled, “Would you have come more quickly?”
“Would you have given me a reason to?” she countered.
His eyes darkened, “Always.”
He took her lips, but it was soft, tender even. He didn’t rush or ravish her. He was taking his time to get to know her. One of his large hands left the wall to gently cup her face. Eden felt herself falling into the kiss, even as she raised herself onto her toes to try and get him to deepen it.
He pulled away before it could get away from him. “Not yet, darling, we have much to discuss.”
Her eyes were glazed and her lips damp, “Can’t we discuss after kissing?”
He felt his cock jump, damn that appendage. He couldn’t help but think about his apparent loyalty to this lovely creature. “We need to discuss the rules for kissing and for whatever else. You did want to know about more, and I did promise.”
She blushed, “What rules?”
“No sex, Eden.” His voice was guttural. “I won’t ruin you. And I vow that if anything happens to bring you to public discovery, I will marry you. But know that this is nothing that I could ever wish for. I am not the man for you.”
Her heart felt like it was breaking, “Why would marrying me be so terrible?”
His eyes closed, “It has nothing to do with you. You are beautiful, vibrant, and an amazing woman. It is me. I am not made for marriage. I would be a terrible husband, and you would end up hating me. I would destroy you, and in the end, that would destroy me.”
“Why do you say that?” Eden was so confused. She reached up between them to caress his furrowed brow.
He shuddered slightly, “Just trust me on this, Eden. I am not a good man. Are you willing to abide by my rules?”
She blushed, “Of course, I am not asking for s-s-s… that, anyway.”
He laughed against her hair, “You can say cock, but not sex?”
She felt her blush deepen, “I am learning here.”
He brought her more fully against him, and she felt his hardened length against her stomach. Gasping, her eyes shot to his.
“This is what you do to me every damn time I see you,” he muttered wryly. “It can be a trifle uncomfortable at times.”
“What can we do about it?” She asked innocently.
He groaned, all the amazing things they could possibly be doing together flashing through his mind. But it all went to hell when she reached down to touch him.