CHAPTER THREE

Present Day

I didn’t tell Stanley that the news about his possible departure upset me. He had always been there for me, no matter what. I could wake him up in the middle of the night because I needed advice about something stupid, and he would never send me to hell, but would listen to me, hug me and then tell me to go back to bed and try to fall asleep. Midnight calls to Washington were an option too, but I already missed him, even though he was still in Pittsburgh. On the other hand, I loved my brother too much to take his dream away from him, because I knew that he would do anything for me, even if that meant sacrificing his own life. He deserved the new job and the opportunity to become the doctor he always wanted to be.

I didn’t have time to think about my personal life or dream about my future. Whenever Liz started to ask questions that I didn’t know how to answer, I changed the subject or pretended I didn’t hear her at all. She was my best friend, she knew almost everything about me, but there was one thing that no one apart from Stanley and I knew – a terrible secret that turned my every dream into a nightmare, because every time I closed my eyes, I traveled 6 years back, to the night I tried so hard to forget. I still had no idea how to make my new life work.

A soft knock at the door brought me back to here and now. I checked on my reflection in the mirror and went to open the door. Somehow, I wasn’t surprised to see Liam standing in the hall, as if I knew he would follow me to the office.

“Is everything all right?” I asked, hoping he was here because someone needed me, and I would get a chance to run away again, and not because he simply wanted to try my patience.

He rubbed the back of his neck and said, “Yeah, it’s just… I saw you leaving in a hurry, and I thought maybe you didn’t feel well.”

I smirked. “A doctor to the bone.” I opened the door wider and let him in.

“I also wanted to congratulate you on the show,” he said, entering the office. “You did a great job helping Liz organize it.”

“Thanks.” I leaned against my desk with my arms crossed over my chest.

After what happened a few months ago in the lake house, I felt like I needed to shield myself from him. The stupid shame about the ugly scar the existence of which was a burden I would have to live with for the rest of my life, never left my mind.

“So… How have you been doing all this time?” Liam asked, shifting from one foot to another. 

Something was telling me that it was not the question he wanted to ask.

“I haven’t seen you for months…” He said with unhidden notes of accusation in his voice.

I never explained why I ran away from the lake house, or why I didn’t want to see him after that. He even came to my house a few times, but I always asked mom to say that I was not there.

I shrugged. “I have had a lot of work to do.”

“So I’ve heard.”

His eyes were drilling mine, as if trying to break the invisible wall between us. But all I could think about was how much I missed him. Seeing him again, so close, brought up so many memories I’d tried to push in the back of my mind for so long. All for nothing…

“Listen…” I said, trying to come up with a more or less believable explanation for my behavior. I knew I owed him that. I also knew I couldn’t be completely honest with him. “About what happened at the lake house…”

“You mean the night you ran away after we kissed?”

Of course, I meant THAT very night. There was no need to remind me about the kissing part. It was kind of hard to forget.

“It was never supposed to happen.”

“The kiss?”

“For God’s sake, YES! I mean the kiss.”

He stepped closer. “Why? And just don’t tell me that you didn’t like it, because I was there too, remember? I saw your eyes, I felt your lips on mine, I could hear your breathing quicken, and your body was responding to my every small move. I know you felt something. The question is – why did you run away?” He took a few more steps closer and stopped right in front of me, hovering over me, with his eyes demanding answers I couldn’t give.

“I thought it was a mistake, okay?” I lied.

The corners of his mouth twisted in a knowing smirk. “Nice try, Sissy. But I don’t buy that shit.”

“Think whatever you want, Liam. I’m sure you have enough female names in your contact list to finish the job I refused the other night.”

I tried to step aside, but he wouldn’t let me.

He blocked my way and whispered into my ear, “If I didn’t know better, I would say you are jealous.”

God, he was impossible. And so was I. It was one of those things that hadn’t changed with time.

I faked a smile. “Don’t be ridiculous. A woman must be totally out of her damn mind to be jealous about your sexcapades, or believe in your nonexistent loyalty, or fall for you in the first place.”

“Is that what you think about me, Crystal? That I’m just another fucking around bastard who doesn’t care about anything but pushing his dick into another pussy?”

“Am I wrong?”

“Yes, you are,” he hissed.

“Good for you.”

He held my gaze as if there was something else he wanted to say, but for some unknown reason, he didn’t say it.

“I need to work,” I said, breaking the silence that made goose bumps run up and down my spine.

I suddenly felt so cold. Don’t know if that was because of the ice Liam’s words turned into, or because I was just too weak to stand his presence and pretend it didn’t bother me. Even though he wasn’t touching me, the little space between us made me feel like I was trapped. I didn’t like it.

As if he could feel what I was feeling at the moment, he stepped aside and watched me walk around the desk and take a seat in my chair.

Was he even going to leave? Or was this obviously pointless conversation going to last forever?

I opened my laptop and pretended I was reading something very important.

He stayed quiet for a few moments, then cursed aloud and walked to the door, muttering something like ‘fuck this shit’ on the way. He slammed the door shut behind him, and my body trembled together with the walls of my office.

Why on earth couldn’t I be honest with him?

What was I afraid of?

I hid my face in my hands and let the tears flow.

 

***

6 years ago

Two days before my graduation ball and I still have no dress to wear. Just great.

I took off another outfit that I didn’t like, put on my clothes and left the fitting room.

“Just don’t say you are not buying it,” Liz said, with a silent prayer in her eyes.

I giggled at her miserable face. “Now you know what Stanley felt when going shopping with me last week.”

“How the hell did he agree to go with you?”

“I promised to clean the house for the rest of the month.”

“You did not…”

Liz knew me too well to believe I would keep my word about cleaning. I hated the mere thought of doing it, not to mention spending three more weekends with a broom and a vacuum cleaner in my hands.

“Don’t worry, Liz, the deal was canceled right after we returned home, with no dress for the ball.”

She laughed. “I knew there was a trick behind your promise. Now, tell me, what are you going to wear on Saturday? You have tried like fifty dresses by now, and you hated all of them. You are not planning on showing up naked, are you?”

“Well, that would be a show. Right?”

She shook her head and chuckled. “Mr. McMillan would leave you without a graduation certificate. I’m sure your parents would love that.”

“Ha-ha, smartass. I haven’t seen your dress either, by the way. Do you even have it?”

“I do. But I’m not showing it to you until Saturday night comes.”

“Fine. Whatever. Let’s go home. I’m starving.”

“What about the dress?”

“Will pick one tomorrow.”

“Right.”

We went to my place and the first thing I saw there was a huge white box with a red ribbon standing in the hall.

“What’s this?” I asked my mom.

She shrugged. “Have no idea. A courier brought it. He said it was for you. He also said the guy who placed an order said he would kill him if anything happened to the box.”

Liz and I shared a surprised glance.

“I didn’t know you had a secret admirer,” she said.

“Neither did I.”

As excited as ever, I tore off the ribbon and the paper covering the box. Inside the big box, there was a smaller one, with a note attached to the top.

“Hope you enjoy your graduation ball, L.”

Impatiently, I opened the smaller box and gasped.

“Oh, my God!” Liz said, stunned. “Just look at this!”

I took out a floor-length ivory silk dress, decorated with golden, caramel and dark-brown crystals – my favorite colors by the way. Whoever the sender of the dress was he knew me well enough to not send me anything pink, which no doubt would be the main color of the graduation ball outfits. My dress was strapless, and its soft glitter made the thing a little magical, as if it had been brought from a fairy tale.

“Who sent it?” Mom asked.

“I don’t know.” I kept staring at the dress, unable to believe that someone could actually buy me a dress I would fall in love at first sight with.

Liz took the card and read it out loud. “Who’s ‘L’?” She then asked.

“I don’t know, but whoever he is, I already love him.” I gave the dress another look and ran up the stairs, dying to try it on.

Liz and mom followed me to my room.

Quickly, I got rid of my clothes, scattering them all over the floor, then I put the dress on and mom helped me zip it. It fit me like a glove.

My hands slid down the shining fabric and I smiled to myself, feeling butterflies dancing in my belly.

“I feel like a mermaid,” I said, spinning in front of the mirror.

“It’s beautiful,” mom commented.

“I still want to know who the secret Mr. ‘L’ is,” Liz said, looking suspiciously at me. “You really don’t know anyone who could send you this dress?”

“I told you, I have no idea who the sender is. But I will kiss him if I ever meet him for real.”

As soon as the words were said, I got a text message from an unknown number.

“Did you like my present?”

“I LOVED IT! Whoever you are, you are my HERO.”

“I’ll remember that for the next time we meet.”

I didn’t even care to ask for the name of my hero.

“He said ‘next time we meet’,” Liz read the text. “Which means you know him.”

Mom gave me a curious look.

“I’m not hiding anything,” I said, before she would bombard me with more questions.

“Of course you aren’t.” She smiled mysteriously. Then the doorbell rang and she went to open the door.

Liz sat on my bed and crossed her arms. “I can’t believe you have secrets from me,” she said, offended.

I laughed out loud. “You don’t think I have a boyfriend you don’t know anything about, do you?”

“At this point, I can’t be sure about anything.”

“Come on, Liz, you and I spend almost every day together. When on earth do you think I would have time to find a boyfriend?”

“You tell me.”

“Okay, if it’s a secret admirer he definitely knows a lot about me. I mean, look at this dress – it’s perfect and it matches the color of my hair and eyes. I wouldn’t be able to find a better dress even if I wanted to.”

“True. Which brings me back to the first question – who is he?”

I looked into the mirror and smiled.

“My prince charming.”

***

Liam

Present Day

I was as pissed as ever.

Crystal… Nothing seemed to be able to make things between us work. But after what happened at the lake house, everything went from bad to worse way too fast.

I couldn’t stop thinking about the kiss we shared. It was like every time I closed my eyes, I could feel her soft lips moving over mine, taking me higher with every heartbeat.

It was not the first kiss she and I shared, and despite how wrong craving her closeness was, being with her was like a drug I couldn’t get enough of.

She was taboo from day one. But the older she got, the clearer I could feel something that I had never felt for any other girl. She was like a beautiful Christmas morning that I could only enjoy once in a while. Being four years older than her complicated things significantly, not to mention being her brother’s friend for as long as I could remember. When she turned sixteen, Stan said he would kill whoever dared to touch her. When a year later he saw her classmate driving her home, I thought he would break his neck for the mere thought of giving her a lift. And if he knew about my feelings for her, he would no doubt try to kill me as well. I was still alive because he never found out about what happened between us. And because I pretended it never happened at all…

“Darling, where have you been?” Kimberly wrapped her fingers around my arm. “I’ve been looking for you everywhere.”

“I…needed to talk to someone.”

“Are you ready to go home? I’m a bit tired.” She rubbed her belly and smiled. “The baby and I need rest.”

“Of course.” I kissed her forehead, telling myself mentally to calm down and switch my thoughts from Crystal to someone else. “Just give me a minute to say good-bye to Elizabeth.”

She nodded shortly and let me go.

I turned away from her and sighed. My life was turning into something I never wanted it to be. I was going to marry the girl I didn’t love, but she was expecting my child and no matter how much of a bastard Crystal thought I was, I couldn’t leave them. Everyone should be responsible for their acts. Or like in my case – for drinking too much and then having unprotected sex that was supposed to be nothing but another fun time, but turned out to be my life sentence.

I walked over to my friends, and patted Kameron’s back, saying, “We are calling it a night. See you next week guys.”

Liz and Stanley forced smiles. They were kind of shocked to hear the news about the wedding and the baby on the way. And maybe if Liz and I were not very close, Kameron and Stanley knew that getting married was the last thing I needed now. My career was still undecided. I worked in my father’s private plastic surgery clinic, assisting him during operations, but if I wanted to become a successful plastic surgeon myself, I needed to focus on my work and not on changing diapers. Stan of all people knew how I felt at the moment. He and I went to college together, and even though his marks had always been higher than mine, he knew how much I loved my profession. And despite what everyone else was saying about my choice, it was not just about getting women to undress for me. There were so many people who needed plastic surgery to make their lives easier. And if I knew a doctor who would be able to make my own life better, I would definitely pay him a visit.

“Liz, can I have a word with you, in private?” I said.

Kameron gave me a questioning look.

I chuckled. “Relax. I’m not going to talk her into coming to my office to show me her boobs.”

“If she needs an operation, she will call me. Right, doll?” Stan said, winking at Liz.

“You boys better keep your dirty thoughts to yourselves,” Kameron warned. “She’s mine. Period.”

Liz smiled and kissed his lips briefly. If a year ago someone had told me they would get married, have a baby and ask me to be their daughter’s Godfather, I would have said they were out of their minds. But Liz and Kameron were made for each other, and I was glad to see my best friend happy. He had been through some shit and I knew how much he cared about his wife and their daughter.

“What is it that you wanted to talk to me about?” Liz asked after she and I came to her office and I closed the door behind me.

I took a deep breath before saying, “It’s about Crystal…”

She gave me a troubled look. “Is she okay? Did you two fight again?”

“Not really. Actually, I wanted to ask you for a favor.”

“Okay. What kind of a favor?”

“Don’t tell her about my wedding. At least not right now.” I wanted to be the person she would hear the news from; a part of me felt like by marrying another girl, I was betraying her and everything she and I had ever shared. But after our conversation in her office, I got so angry, I left without saying a word. And now, I didn’t even know why I was asking Liz to keep my wedding secret from her friend. Probably because I still hoped Crystal and I would talk one day and make everything between us clear.

“Will someone finally tell me what is going on between you two?”

“Ugh…” I shook my head. “It’s hard to explain.”

“Is there something I don’t know? Why Crys always gets nervous when you are around? And why you never miss your chance to send her up the wall?”

“We are two weirdos, you know?”

“And?”

“And there’s something I really want her to know before she finds out about the wedding.”

“Okay. I won’t tell her anything.”

“Thank you, Liz.”

I turned to leave, but she stopped me.

“Liam?”

“Hmm?”

“Are you sure about the wedding? Don’t get me wrong, but is Kimberly the one?”

I smiled sadly. “It’s kind of late to think about it.”

She came closer, obviously choosing her next words carefully. “A baby is a miracle. But miracles don’t happen where no love exists.”

I knew what she was talking about. I also knew that she was probably right, but…

“I know what I’m doing, Liz.”

“I hope so.”

I hesitated to leave. There was another thing that bothered me.

“Do you know if Crystal is seeing anyone?”

She rolled her eyes. “I wish. But it looks like dating is the last thing she wants to become a part of her life.” Liz sighed. “At least she’s not going to die a virgin…”

“What?”

“Never mind, forget it. Just thinking aloud.”

I don’t know why, but I felt like the absence of Crystal’s personal life was my fault. Maybe she never even thought about the night that happened six years ago, maybe she never saw anyone but her brother’s friend in me, maybe I was simply imagining things, but a part of me wanted to believe that there was something so much more than just hate between us. I told Liz I knew what I was doing by asking Kimberly to marry me, when in fact, I still couldn’t believe I was engaged. I felt like my story with Crystal was not over, not just yet.