CHAPTER TWELVE

Crystal

I’m royally screwed…

That was the first thought to come to my head the moment I realized there would be no turning back from this night. Just like a couple of months ago, Liam was the last person in the world I expected to see at the lake house. And just like back then, I knew I was in a whole mess of trouble even before he dared to crash his lips on mine and take my breath away by the mind-blowing kiss he was giving me. And maybe I was being a pathetic fool again, but I wanted what his eyes and lips were offering to happen. I wanted him. All for myself, at least for one night. It wasn’t too much to ask for, was it?

I used to think that Liam was one of those men who always went full speed ahead, no matter what. But not tonight. He took his time to study me, as if I were a present he got for Christmas and didn’t want to unwrap it too fast to prolong the anticipation. He didn’t wince at the sight of my scar. It wasn’t the first time he had seen it, but it was the first time I voluntarily let him see it and touch it, despite how embarrassed I felt about its origins. I expected anything but what he did – he pressed his lips to the uglified skin and started kissing it, as if he could kiss away the pain standing behind it. He didn’t rush things. Probably because he was scared I would change my mind and tell him to back off. But I wasn’t going to do it. Not this time.

It wasn’t until tonight that I realized how much I missed his lips, his touches and even the scent that I always associated with him – bergamot that was an essential accord of all of his fragrances. God, I knew each and every one of them. Because every time he left my house, I stayed in the living room until the linger of his perfume died in the air. Growing up didn’t change that habit of mine, unfortunately.

I loved everything about him: the way he squinted his eyes while watching me; the way his touches made goose bumps run up and down my spine, making me tremble from the need to feel more of him; even the weakness I felt whenever he was around – I loved it all, like a maniac following every small thing that would bring me closer to my favorite forbidden fruit that just so happened to be him…

His eyes bored mine and I knew I was lost to everything but him. I didn’t remember undressing him or losing my sweater somewhere in the living room. All I knew was that I wanted to be with the love of my life, no matter of the consequences, that I was sure would leave another scar on me, on my heart to be exact.

Not even for a second did I feel embarrassed for my wishes and thoughts, he never let me feel embarrassed. I could read admiration in every small move he made. His kisses were full of something I refused to believe in – love. I used to laugh when people would say love had the power to change everything. When in fact, it was the very thing that had changed me.

Liam said he loved me and that he never stopped loving me. And I believed him; I don’t know why, I just did.

At some point, I let my gaze shift from his lips playing with my clit and to the floor-length mirror pinned to the wall on my left. For the first time in a long time I wasn’t scared of being naked in front of a man’s eyes and still feel confident. He made me feel confident, and cared for and loved.

The fire his kisses were sending through my body made me even more aware of the need that started building in my belly. The closeness of his body, the warmth of his skin against mine – it felt so good. So, so good.

The sweet torture his mouth was making me go through was unbearable, almost painful. I needed more, I wanted so much more than that.

How am I supposed to let him go when the morning comes? I wondered. Then again, right there and then no morning existed, and neither did common sense that drowned in the storm of passion overwhelming our bodies and minds.

My hands clenched into fists as the moves of Liam’s tongue across my clit got faster. This is when I felt one of his fingers slide down to the wet, pulsing opening and then thrust in.  

I gasped, both excited and scared. What if I never meet his expectations? What if after so many girls he had been with he would sleep with me simply out of being sorry for what happened to me years ago? What if…

“I love you, Crystal,” he suddenly said, hovering over me. “Love you so much it rips my heart out of my chest.” Burying his face in the curve of my neck, he kissed a spot under my earlobe and added, “What am I gonna do when you are no longer with me?”

Gosh, there was so much desperation in his words. For a moment, I felt like crying.

I cupped his face in my palms and said, “Everything’s gonna be all right. All we need is this one night… One night to get our past out of our systems.” Did I believe what I was saying? I don’t think so. But it was easier to pretend I did. Otherwise, I would start missing him even before he would say good-bye to me.

He looked me in the eye, probably thinking the same thing I did a few moments ago – we had no idea how to make tomorrow, or the day after tomorrow or our future work.

Swallowing my doubts, I said, “What happens here, stays here, okay?”

“Are you sure this is what you want?”

No, at this point, I wasn’t sure about anything.

“Yes,” I said aloud, hoping my response sounded confident enough. “We can’t be together, and we both know it. Because there will always be something standing between us. I can’t promise you anything, and neither can you. But for one night, we can pretend we don’t care…”

“For one night,” he repeated, as if trying to make himself believe me. “Yes, we can pretend…” He then covered my mouth with his, and I lost the feeling of the surroundings, diving into the ocean of blissful sensations that his lips washed over me.

A moan of weakness escaped my mouth and he shushed it with another kiss, deep and demanding. Surprisingly enough, his mouth had a way of meeting my every expectation, eager to push the buttons on my body I never knew existed. Unlike other times he and I found ourselves in one room, tonight I didn’t mind him tempting my patience. On the contrary - waiting for more made the fire inside me burn brighter.

“Make me yours,” I breathed into his lips. “I wanna be yours.” I wanted to feel him filling me up and taking me high, higher than the sky and the moon, where no one would be able to find us.

“With pleasure,” followed his breathless response.

Positioning himself in between my open legs, he slid his hands down my sides and grabbed my ass, just to thrust his hard and waiting cock inside me, in one fast, rough move.

A growl of surrender flew from my lips, following the agonizing pleasure that his move splashed within. Years of suppressed dreams and cravings blended into one deep connection that felt so strong and unbreakable. I almost believed it wasn’t as fragile, as it was in reality…

The deliriousness we sank into was just too good to think about reality.

Not tonight.

I pulled him closer, welcoming the heat his skin touched mine with, and wrapped my legs around him, enjoying the shattering and at the same time magical sensations running through my veins, reaching the deepest of my needs and bringing out the wildest of my dreams.

With his every thrust, he stole a small part of me, as if the years my heart had been bleeding for him were not enough to make me his forever. With every small move my hips made beneath him I gave him what he wanted and even more – I gave him all of me, without expecting anything in return.

Our kisses were getting hotter, moves – faster. My pelvic muscles started to clench around him; making his groans become louder.

I came with his name on my lips, feeling the long-expected release swallow me; his orgasm followed mine. Our bodies trembled with pleasure.

With Liam’s lips pressed to my ear, he said in a whisper, “I’m not even close to being done with you, Sissy.”

He wasn’t kidding. And I got proof of his more than serious intentions when about ten minutes later, I felt his rock-hard cock begging for more. Without asking for permission, his hardness found its way inside me, and I cried at how good it was to feel him like that again.

God, I could get used to making love to him so frequently. Making love...

Again, I remembered the words he said previously that night and again I wondered if I would be able to survive the sunrise – the sign of our one-night deal ending.

He pushed so deep inside me, I didn’t know where I ended and he started. The sounds we made were loud and full of agony. We were no longer in control of what was going on in the room. We stopped counting seconds, too lost in each other to keep track of time.

The connection between us got even stronger. As if what we used to have in the past, before it was ruined to the core, was back, bringing us even closer than ever. So close, I felt the lack of air, too scared to even begin to imagine my life after tonight.

I could barely breathe. Liam lifted me up and made me sit on his lap, with my legs wrapped around him and with his hardness buried in my depth.

“Look at me, Crystal,” he said in a demanding manner. “Look at me and tell me what you feel. Do you still hate me?”

There was no point in lying. “I did hate you, Liam. Or so I thought, but…” I paused, not sure if I was brave enough to say the words I wanted to say so many times.

“But what?” He asked softly.

“My hate has never been strong enough to overshadow my love for you.” I felt a predatory tear running down my flushed cheek. “It’s true – I never stopped loving you. Even on my worst days, you were the only man I wanted to be with.”

He shut his eyes; I saw his jaw tighten. “What are we gonna do now?”

I made myself smile. “Like right now you mean?” I raised my hips and then lowered myself onto him again.

He shook his head. “It’s not what I mean and you know it.”

“No, I don’t. I don’t want to know anything. We made a deal, remember?”

Sadness crossed his beautiful features. “You won’t let me forget about it, will you?”

Placing a gentle kiss on his lips, I said, “You will always be the love of my life, Liam Henderson. I know it will never change. But I don’t want it to be my curse anymore. I will let you go, and you will do the same for me.”

“God, Crystal, you are killing me...”

The pain, so familiar, yet so strange crept into my heart. It was a good-bye night, and we both knew it. The only thing that we never expected happening was our feelings for each other getting stronger. Well, hell, it was a little too late to think about it.

Quietly, I said, “Stop talking. We have had enough talking and arguments for the past six years. Let’s make love.”

Those were the last words we said to each other that night. For the rest of the night, we made love, and never once mentioned the reality that we both knew would come knocking at the door, sooner or later.

***

The sound of my phone buzzing on the nightstand woke me up in the morning.

“Hello?” I said in a sleepy voice, answering the call.

“Thank God, Crystal,” Liz said into the handset. “I’ve been calling you for about an hour already. Where are you?”

“At the lake house. Stan asked me to help him get it ready for the remodeling. Why?”

“Liam’s missing.”

“What?” I sat up in my bed and heard the mentioned above guy growl in a protest next to me.

“No one knows where he is and his phone is off.”

I turned to look at the ‘missing’ Liam. “Oh…” His phone must have died and he didn’t have time to recharge it, or even remember about the damn thing for that matter. He was too busy doing other things. “I’m sure he’s fine,” I said into the handset. I laid down with my face turned to Liam and smiled. “He must be sleeping in another girl’s bed, with his phone lying somewhere under it.”

With his eyes still closed, Liam smiled at my words and wrapped one arm around me, pulling me closer to his chest.

“I hope you are right,” Liz said worriedly. “Anyway, if you see him or hear from him, let me know. Okay?”

“K.” I ended the call and said, “They think you are missing.”

“I am,” Liam responded, opening his eyes. “I’m lost in you. And I would gladly be missing for the rest of my life if you agreed to disappear with me.”

“Sorry. Not in this life.”

He rolled his eyes. “Are we still doing this stupid good-bye thing?”

“Yep.”

“I was hoping you would change your mind after what happened last night.”

I smirked. “You should have tried harder to convince me.”

“Harder?” He laughed under his breath. “Is that even possible?”

I leaned into him and kissed his lips. Saying good-bye to him was the last thing in the world I wanted to do, but I didn’t have a choice.

“Will you at least let me come to see you from time to time?” He asked.

I sighed and rolled onto my back, still looking him in the eye. “Do you think it’s a good idea?” It was kind of hard to imagine having a normal conversation with Liam, without thinking about how much I loved him or wanted to repeat last night.

He rose on one elbow and traced a line down my cheek with his fingertips. “You can ask for anything, but staying away from you. Besides, it was your idea to become ‘friends’ with no benefits. Hell, it sounds ridiculous.”

“Trust me, it’s for the best.”

He bent down and whispered into my lips, “The best thing that could have ever happened to us happened last night.”

I felt a slight blush covering my cheeks.

“And just don’t say that you didn’t like it,” Liam added.

“I loved it. Every single moment of it.”

He smiled. “Likewise. Which makes leaving even harder to imagine.”

He wasn’t the only person in the room who had no freaking idea how to face the new day.

“How about breakfast?” I said. “It won’t break the ‘just friends’ rule, will it?”

“Unless I decide to have you for breakfast.”

I giggled. “I don’t have time to be your breakfast. Liz’s waiting for me in the studio. I think it’s better if we just…”

“Get up and have coffee instead of sex?”

I nodded shortly.

“Okay. But first, we will take a shower, together.”

“Friends don’t take joined showers.”

“Friends don’t go missing in one bed, all night long, totally naked, either. So…” He stood up, pulled the blanket off me, swept me into his arms and carried me to the shower. I didn’t get a chance to argue with that.

“We need to make it really quick, or I’m gonna lose my job!” I said, laughing.