Amy is noticeably quiet on the drive home from Sean’s house.
I may have missed the start of her talk with Sam but I sure as shit didn’t miss the end when she said I’m the only dad Brody needs. That felt fucking fantastic and would have been a Hallmark moment had it not been for the revelation that Ryan Miller is Brody’s father.
I was so conflicted, wanting to fist pump the air with one hand while using the other to hunt Ryan down and knock him out.
But Amy needed me to keep my cool, so I did. I wanted to be the calm in her storm and as always, as soon as I had her cocooned in my arms, she sagged into me. It helped that Brody decided in that moment to be cute and try and suck her face off.
Never have I ever felt more protective of the two of them than I did in that moment.
Never have I felt more pride in my life either.
“Brodz did really well tonight.”
“Yeah.” Her tone is flat and I can tell she’s distracted.
“Amz, I think we should—”
She turns her head and rests her cheek on the headrest, her eyes set on me. “I love you.” Three words that never fail to make me feel like a fucking superhero.
I reach my hand over and gently squeeze her leg. “I could hear you say that to me every day for the rest of my life and it would still make me feel invincible.”
“I’ll remember that.” Comfortable silence stretches between us and it’s not until a few minutes have passed that Amy speaks again. “I want to talk about it but I want to do it with your arms around me.”
“Okay, sweetness. That I can definitely do.”
And that was that.
Now we’re on Amy’s couch, lying side by side with our legs entwined, my fingers playing mindlessly with a strand of her hair having just been given the full story of Ryan Miller and his lack of involvement with Amy and in turn, Brody.
“Are you mad at me?” Her voice is quiet, almost timid, and very un-Amy like. My head jerks at her question. How can she think that?
“I’ve got absolutely no reason to be mad at you. It’s not like you were purposefully not telling me he was Brody’s father. Ryan, on the other hand, is a different story.”
“Why? I didn’t think you knew him?”
“I only met him a few times but knowing that he walked away from you guys has me fighting the urge to hunt him down, kick his ass then sterilize him.”
She giggles and rests her forehead against mine. “I think that’s the first stage.”
“Why’s that?”
“I wanted to do the same thing when he told me he couldn’t deal with me being pregnant. He’d fallen off the wagon for the millionth time the night we hooked up. And that’s all it was, a drunken hookup. Despite what Megan said tonight, Ryan and I were never anything more than colleagues. I want you to know that.”
I run my hand over her hair, down her back and up again. “It’s okay, sweetness.”
“I’m sorry I got so animated at Sean’s place. I felt blindsided, so I reacted. I knew he’d come back at some stage but I didn’t think he’d ask about either of us.”
“You were a mama bear protecting her cub. It’s totally understandable.” She inches her hands under my tee, sliding her fingers against my skin. There’s no intent in her actions, it’s more comfort than anything else.
“I don’t know how I should feel. I mean, he’s Brody’s father, he has rights, I know that, it’s just—”
“He has no fucking rights,” I growl through gritted teeth. “He gave everything up when he walked away.”
“It was the best thing for everyone involved.”
“It was the best thing for Ryan. Everything he’s done was about Ryan and only Ryan. If you’re man enough to have sex, you’re man enough to face up to the consequences if there are any.”
Her hands rub over my pecs before she curves her fingers around my shoulders. “Like you did?”
She gets me, she totally fucking gets me. Can she be more perfect? Never have I been surer of the fact that Amy was meant to be my last than right now.
I kiss her because right now I need to kiss her. I touch my lips to hers gently, knowing this isn’t one of those ‘leading into something’ kisses. No, it’s an expression of emotion, of feeling, a need to have a physical connection to the woman I love during what I know must be a confusing time for her.
“Yeah, I did the crime, I did my time.” I try not to laugh—I really do—but the fact that my ‘time’ involved getting a swab stick stuck down places no man wants a swab stick to go and telling a few very disgruntled women that I had an STD, is actually quite funny. At the time it wasn’t, but now it definitely is.
When Amy’s body starts to shake against mine, and a soft snort escapes her lips, I give up the ghost and start chuckling quietly too.
By the time we get that out of our system, I decide it’s time to make sure she’s really okay.
I pull back slightly and bring my arms between us, cupping her cheeks to ensure I have her full intention.
“Now tell me the truth, how are you really feeling?” Her eyes go from wary to gentle as she leans her face into my touch.
“I’m indifferent when it comes to him not supporting me but when it comes to Brody, I’m like you said, a mama bear. An angry mama bear who needs to protect everyone she loves. Not just Brody but you too.”
“Why me?”
“Because you are just as much a part of this family as I am. You’re the one who’s been here for me and for Brody since the day he was born.”
“I wasn’t much for you before that,” I concede.
“We weren’t like that before Lucky Charms and dirty grocery store floors.” She grins at me, and I kiss her hard and fast, wiping the smile off her face and leaving her struggling to breathe by the end of it.
“You may not have been much to me back then, but you’re everything to us now.”