Mike stared into Lane’s eyes, knowing he was too screwed up to be in a relationship. It wasn’t fair to Lane to take this any further.

“Listen, I’m so sorry. I shouldn’t have kissed you.”

Lane shook his head. “Why shouldn’t you have?”

“It’s complicated.” He hated himself for being a jerk. The hurt in Lane’s eyes was almost enough to make him cave. Being involved was fucking tough, and Lane deserved the best.

Mike stepped away, ready to grab his bags and go when Lane got in his way and didn’t move. He was exhausted after working all night. Someone had fucked up the reservations for the celebrity he was guarding this weekend, and he had to go fix the situation to ensure his client had a safe place to stay. When he kissed Lane, it had been in a moment of weakness where he’d forgotten who he was and what he was doing.

“No, this is bullshit. Tell me what’s up. You don’t just kiss me and…” Lane waved his hand between them. “…you know, the other stuff we did then act this way.”

He closed his eyes and let his head drop as he tried to come up with a way to explain. “I’m sorry. I suck at relationships. There are so many bad relationships I’ve been in that I’ve kept from you guys. I’ve fucked up so many times, and I didn’t mean to do this. I didn’t mean to kiss you.”

“What do you mean? You think you can kiss me then just say you didn’t mean to? Don’t treat me like shit. I’m not one of your hookups you can blow off.”

He met Lane’s gaze, and pain knifed him. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to treat you like one. I didn’t mean for all of this to happen. I just… Jesus. I’m exhausted and starving. I’m sure you are too. Can we eat?”

“First I need to know why you’re exhausted. I don’t—I’m not— You owe me nothing, but if you were out fucking—”

“I wasn’t. I had to work. Someone screwed up; I had to fix hotel reservations and transportation for the woman I’m guarding this weekend.”

“Oh.”

Mike ran his thumb over Lane’s lips, his heart squeezing. “I’m a dick. I know that. I’m sorry. Can we make some eggs or something and talk? I swear I won’t run out, I just—”

Lane nodded. His lips parted just a little, and Mike couldn’t stop himself from leaning in and kissing him. The soft slide of Lane’s warm lips set his brain to buzzing, and his thoughts stalled. Peace flowed through him, and he wanted the feeling to stay. He leaned in, pressing their bodies together. It felt good, like he should hold on and never let go.

At the end of the kiss, Lane didn’t pull away and neither did he. He had no idea how to make this right, but he knew one thing, he never wanted to hurt Lane, yet it seemed like that was exactly what he was doing.

“I’ll make eggs and sausage. Could you toast some English muffins?” Lane asked.

“Sure.”

Lane handed him a kitchen towel and he wiped the remaining cum from his belly and shirt before washing his hands. Lane’s scrubs had wet spots showing from their fun, and he guessed he should have thought about them getting dirty, but he hadn’t cared at the time.

He watched Lane out of the corner of his eyes as they worked together in the kitchen. He felt terrible. Lane was the nicest man alive, and he’d not respected his friend enough. Had he not been tired and horny as hell, he never would have kissed Lane. It wasn’t fair for him to kiss then say never mind. He wanted more, he just wasn’t sure if he could ever actually be in a relationship, not after everything that had happened. He sighed, pushing away the problems and the pain he’d caused and focused on getting breakfast made.

With the eggs cooked, they settled at the table. Uncomfortable didn’t even come close to describing how he felt.

“Just spill it. Tell me what the hell you were thinking and what you meant by you didn’t mean to kiss me.”

He took a bite of eggs and chewed, stalling for as long as he could. “I’m sorry. I…I’ve always thought…I really suck. I’m sorry. I’m an ass.”

Lane shook his head. “Nope, you’ve got to do better than that.”

“I’ve always thought you were different.”

Lane narrowed his eyes as he took a bite of his English muffin and chewed but didn’t say anything.

“I suck. I’m sorry. I can leave.”

Lane shook his head. “Don’t you dare get up. You’re not running out on me. Explain.”

Mike nodded and took another bite of food. He didn’t say anything else as they finished their breakfast. His head was buzzing, and he knew he’d really fucked up.

“Here’s what we’re going to do,” Lane said as he stood. “We’re going to wash off the plates, then we’re going to take a shower. After we shower, we’re going to go lay down in bed and sleep until later this evening. You aren’t allowed to leave. If you wake up before I do, you stay. You got it?”

Mike nodded and stood, helping Lane clean up from their breakfast. Before they left the kitchen, he put his hand on Lane’s shoulder, stopping him from moving. “I’m sorry.”

“Let’s not get into that right now.”

Mike focused on just breathing as he followed Lane to the bathroom. “We showering together?”

Lane turned and lifted his brow. “You got a problem with that?”

Heat filled him and he shook his head. “No. No problem at all.”

Lane pulled off his shirt then shoved his pants and underwear to the floor before reaching into the tub and flipping on the water. Mike was growing hard looking at Lane.

“I’m going to get hard.”

Lane glanced over his shoulder and lifted his brow. “Then maybe we’ll have to take care of it.”

Mike shuddered and pulled off his shirt before kicking off his shoes and pushing his jeans low. Lane’s ass was perfect, and Mike wanted to grab both globes and squeeze them hard.

Lane stepped into the tub and pulled the curtain closed. Mike pushed the curtain out of his way as he followed, his gaze on Lane’s body. He was a total asshole, and Lane deserved better, but Mike couldn’t help himself.

“Fuck, you’re sexy,” Mike whispered.

Lane turned to him and fixed the shower curtain before handing him the soap. “Clean me.”

His hands shook as he took the soap from Lane. “You are testing me.”

“Oh yeah, I sure as hell am. I’m not going to let you get away with kissing me like that, holding me up against the door while you stroked my cock. Get your shit together and do this.”

Mike got the soap and his hand wet, working it into a lather before he ran the bar over Lane’s chest, watching as his hand smoothed over his friend’s muscles. He glanced up and saw the heat in Lane’s eyes. Then he looked down and saw Lane’s cock lengthening. It was the most beautiful sight he’d ever witnessed.

He ran his hand lower before moving up to wash under Lane’s arms. He was supposed to be getting his friend clean, and he would accomplish the task, but he wanted to be so dirty.

Once he was done under Lane’s arms, he moved to his back then made him turn around. He scratched Lane’s back and shoulders after he got him soapy. Lane moaned, which made Mike’s balls pull tight.

When he finished with his shoulders, he moved to Lane’s ass, loving the way the man’s cheeks felt in his hands. He slid one finger then two between his crack. Lane put both hands on the wall and leaned over a little, exposing his pucker. It was the little temptations like this that got to him. Mike ran his hand over Lane’s crack, brushing his fingers over his opening. They were both panting when Lane turned around and pressed him against the back wall of the shower.

He thought he was going to get a kiss, but Lane didn’t move closer. They stared at each other for a few seconds. Eventually Lane moved under the spray and washed his hair. Lane traded places with him and took the soap before washing Mike’s body. After cleaning his ass, Lane spun him and moved in close before grabbing both of their hard cocks.

“Do you like this?” Lane asked.

“Yeah.” And he did, he just needed more, so he pushed Lane up against the side wall of the shower, turning him so his chest was against the tile. He held Lane in place, lining up his cock so it rested between Lane’s butt cheeks. His chest was plastered to Lane’s back as he pumped. He held onto Lane tightly, pumping hard. It felt so right, so perfect. He wanted to slide into his friend and forget everything, but he couldn’t forget because the memories rode him like a whore, clutching him close, never letting go, preventing him from achieving peace.