Chapter Thirty-Seven
Drew hated hospitals. The smell, the air, the heat. He hadn’t had much cause to be near an ICU but he knew enough about them to know to be afraid. Most people who went in did not come out.
Matt was by his side, looking a hundred times better than when he’d last seen him. Not cured, because Drew didn’t think there was a cure for that kind of injury, but coping, living.
Pushing open the door to the waiting room, he caught sight of Sam, sitting towards the back, his head in his heads.
As they crossed the room, he rubbed hard at his eyes and sat up. Drew pulled up short. Sam looked exhausted, eyes red and tired, face unshaven.
Sam went to get up and Drew stopped him with a hand on his shoulder, slipping into the seat next to him.
“Hey.”
“Hi.” Sam’s voice was tired, that one word holding a heavy weight.
“How is Theo?”
“The same. No better, no worse.”
Drew put an arm around Sam’s shoulders only for Sam to stiffen. Pulling back, he exchanged a look with Matt.
“You got out okay?” Sam asked
“Yeah, I did. Matt picked me up and I left the world of witness protection behind.”
Sam nodded, glancing around the empty room, then up at Matt. “Matt, do you mind giving us a minute.”
“Sure, I’ll just be outside,” he said, walking quickly from the room.
“What kind of deal did Russell make?” Sam asked, his voice quiet.
“He pleaded guilty to multiple counts of fraud and federal murder charges. The deal he took allows him to serve out his sentence in a less secure facility and makes him eligible for parole when he’s seventy.”
“Good, he’s not a threat to you anymore. I’m glad.” There was something off about Sam’s tone.
“Yeah, we don’t need to worry about that, not now. It’s Theo who needs you now.”
“Yeah, he does,” Sam agreed. “And he might need me for a very long time with the kind of injuries he’s sustained.”
Drew laid his hand on Sam’s only for Sam to pull away.
“I guess, what I’m saying, is that I can’t be there for you right now, Drew. I know you’re just out and you need people around you to help you adjust to the transition. But I need to be there for Theo and there isn’t enough of me to go around. Ask Matt to help you find a place to stay, but you’re welcome to crash at my place until you do. If you need money, I can get you some…”
“Sam? Sam, stop.”
Drew slipped to the floor, crouching in front of Sam, his hands on Sam’s knees.
“You don’t need to do anything for me right now, not a thing. It’s the other way around. I’m here for you. Tell me what you need.”
There was a pause, Sam’s face stricken. “I… I need Theo to be okay.”
He bent forward and Drew knelt up, wrapping his arms around him. “I know, I know you do. And there’s hope, right? Matt said there were lots of reasons to be hopeful?”
“I can’t see it, I can’t.”
“That’s because you’re exhausted. When was the last time you slept?”
“I got an hour or two last night in the family room here.”
“When’s your next shift?”
“Tonight. My sister’s coming to take over from me around four.”
“Well, why don’t we go to the family room now and you can nap for a while.”
“No, I need to be here for Theo.”
“You are here. You’ll be just as much here for Theo in the bed in the family room as you are in that chair. And you’ll be better able to handle what’s to come if you’ve had some sleep.”
He was throwing Sam’s own words back at him, in the hope that he might listen. “I’m sure Matt wouldn’t mind sitting out here for a while, if that would make you feel better. Or I will, once I’ve got you settled.”
“You don’t need to…”
“Yes, I do. Why do you think I’m here, Sam? You mean so much to me. The last thing I’m going to do is walk away or turn my back right when you really need me.”
It took another few minutes to convince Sam to get up and come with him to the family room. Once there, Drew got him into bed and took a seat beside him.
“I’m afraid, if I sleep, I’ll miss them calling me if something happens.”
“I’m right here, wide awake, and with two good ears. I’ll wake you if they call.”
Within ten minutes, Sam was fast asleep. Even in slumber, his face showed lines of worry.
Drew woke him half an hour before his sister was due to arrive. He looked better, his eyes clear.
Drew had rooted through Sam’s bag, leaving his razor and shaving foam on the side of the sink. Sam looked from it to Drew with raised eyebrows but got up and shaved before giving himself a quick wash with a damp cloth.
“Feel more yourself now?” Drew asked.
“Yeah, I do. I’m sorry about trying to send you away earlier.”
Drew shrugged. “I think I understand. Since you met me, I’ve needed a lot from you. Right now, you don’t have the energy to give what I needed then. But that was then and this is now. It’s my turn, Sam. My turn to give you what you need.” He glanced at the razor. “Whether you realize it or not.”
Sam pulled his t-shirt over his head, taking a seat on the side of the bed. “So what do I need now?”
“To visit your brother for a few minutes during visiting hours. Say hi to your sister. And then dinner and a liberal dose of caffeine. After that, it’ll be time for you to go to work.”
“You should be putting your life back together. Not propping up mine.”
“I kind of thought we agreed you were going to be a big part of my life and me yours. Can’t let yours fall apart without hurting my own.”
He knelt in front of Sam again, resting hands on his knees. “We can do this, Sam. Together. That’s what relationships are, give and take. Let me be here for you, please.”
Before he’d even finished the sentence, Sam had him in a bear hug. “I missed you.”
“Missed you, too.”
Within a day or two, Drew realized he was far from alone in his efforts to keep Sam afloat. Dropping him to work that first day, he wound exchanging numbers with Sam’s team leader, Tom, who text him Sam’s shifts for the week and asked Drew to figure out what days Sam would be at the hospital.
Drew returned to the hospital that evening, bringing some food in for Molly who he’d met only briefly as they passed the waiting baton. She seemed grateful for the food and the company and was happy to pass on the timetable the family had drawn up. Drew sent it on to Tom, hoping it would do some good. He left as some of Theo’s friends arrived, knowing Molly was in good hands.
After that, between Matt, Sam’s team, and Drew, there was a concerted effort to have someone with him whenever he kept vigil at the hospital. Drew stayed with him when he was there overnight, staying awake so Sam could get some sleep.
Theo’s condition remained stable and the doctor declared there was ‘room for optimism’ after reviewing his latest scans.
The day to wake Theo up dawned bright and full of hope. Drew had stayed over in Sam’s apartment and they shared a bed, Drew convincing Sam that with both their phones on the loudest setting, they couldn’t miss a call if one came.
Sam’s father and sister joined them in the waiting room, and throughout the day, different people came and went, checking how he was getting on. As the day wore on, there was no news. A little after seven, Sam’s dad and Molly went for a walk to stretch their legs. They’d been gone fifteen minutes when a nurse came in search of the family.
“Theo’s awake,” she said. “Would you like to go in and see him?”
Sam got on the phone to his dad, and they turned back towards the hospital.
“I should go in. If he’s awake, I don’t want him to be alone.” He turned to Drew. “Will you come with me? I don’t want to do this by myself.”
“Of course.”
They walked in side by side, and Drew could feel Sam practically vibrating with tension. He was afraid of what he’d find. Was this the brother he knew and loved, who’d he taken such care of when they were small? Or had he lost something, was he different, changed? Could he speak, move, remember who Sam was?
As they got to the end of the bed, Drew grabbed Sam’s hand, squeezing tightly before letting go. He stayed by the nurse at the end of the bed, watching as Sam took a seat next to Theo and took his hand.
“Theo? It’s Sam.”
His brother’s eyes opened and he turned his head, smiling when he saw Sam.
“Sammy, you’re here.”
“Where else would I be?”
“I did something stupid, didn’t I?”
“If you mean you went after a puck with your head instead of your stick, then yeah. What do you remember?”
Theo made a face. “Uh, playing with the guys. It was getting late. I took my helmet off and… aw crap, it’s all a blur after that. How long have I been out?”
As he lay there, he squirmed, moving his toes under the sheets. Sam saw, his eyes taking in everything.
“A while, Theo. You took a really bad blow to your head and they had to keep you under to let it heal. Nine days.”
“Nine days? Did I miss my midterms?”
“You can make it up. It could be another while before you’re up and about.”
“Did I do any other damage?” Theo’s attention turned to his body, moving his hands and legs. “Everything feels okay.”
“It was just your head. Now that you’re awake, they’ll do tests and make sure it’s all in working order.”
Sam reached out, setting a hand on Theo’s shoulder, his composure slipping for a second.
“Sam? Hey-”
“Sorry, Theo. It’s just, we’ve been so worried. Having you here, up and talking.” He shook his head, lost for words.
Theo set a hand over his, patting gently. “I’m really glad to be here. And to see you.”
He glanced down at Drew curiously, then at the nurse, before leaning over to whisper in Sam’s ear. Drew couldn’t think what they’d be whispering about until Theo spoke a moment later.
“Drew! It’s so good to see you. Aren’t you going to come up here and say hi? Long time no see, cousin.”
Drew stepped up to the head of the bed, eying Theo with concern. They’d never met. He’d have remembered that. Theo tugged him in as if for a hug and whispered in his ear. “Nice to meet you, Drew. I didn’t want the nurse to kick you out when they realized I had no idea who you were. So you get the long lost cousin treatment.”
Drew grinned. “It’s nice to meet you too, Theo. I’m so glad you’re awake and talking. Sam’s told me a lot about you.”
Theo let go and Drew straightened up.
“Dad and Molly are here, we’ll go let them in okay?” Sam said.
“Sure,” Theo replied, yawning loudly. “Maybe tell them to hurry. I think they’ve got me on the good stuff, I’m not sure I’ll be awake much longer.”
They stepped out, speaking briefly with Molly, Sam’s dad, and a few of Theo’s friends in the waiting room, passing on the good news.
Drew, feeling the tension in Sam, his body still vibrating with energy, wrestled him into the family room and closed the door. Sam’s face crumpled as he sank onto the bed.
“He’s okay.” He looked up at Drew, his eyes bright with tears. “He’s okay.”
“Yeah, he is. He’s okay.”
Sitting down next to him, he wrapped arms around Sam and just held him while he let out all the fear and pain of the previous week.
Afterward, they took a walk through the hospital, down to the chapel, sitting side by side. Neither of them were religious, but there was something about the quiet, meditative feeling of the place that Drew liked. There was a purity of thought, of hope, that came with such silence.
Later, they took a stroll outside, enjoying the cool breeze and the clear night’s sky with its scattering of stars.
Drew stopped Sam and gestured upward.
“Do you want to make a wish?”
Sam’s hand found his cheek, urging his gaze away from the stars to meet his. He was shaking his head.
“I don’t need to. Right here and now, I have everything I want.”
Drew stepped closer, reaching for Sam, and they kissed.