Sophie

My concentration is focused on cleaning the large, angry gash above Abbott’s brow, and I don’t realize anyone else is in the apartment until the bathroom door swings open and Kade is standing there, eyes blazing with anger…and fear.

Considering the bathroom looks like a clip from The Shining, I understand the fear part. But as Kade pulls Abbott back and his fist connects with his brother’s jaw, I try to make sense of what’s happening. But I can’t.

“Kade, don’t!” I cry out.

“What the hell did you do?” Kade hisses, gripping his younger brother by the scruff and shoving him against the bathroom wall.

“Didn’t do shit,” Abbott slurs. The large cut above his eye that I’d just got to stop bleeding begins to gush again.

Damon appears in the doorway, his eyes darting between the three of us. “Jesus, what the fuck happened?”

“You’re going to wake Lola,” I say, doubting they want her to see Abbott in the shape he’s in. “Everything’s fine. Your phone went dead and I couldn’t call you back.”

Kade looks over his shoulder at me, lips twisted in rage when his gaze roams down my body. “Did he hurt you?”

“What?” I glance down at my shirt, which is covered in blood. “No.”

I’m pretty sure that along with the cuts and bruises on Abbott’s face and body, he has a concussion, but until he sobers up or comes down from whatever high he’s on, it’ll be hard to know if his slurred words are from a head wound or whatever substances he’s ingested. But other than a few crude remarks and being slightly handsy when I’d helped him into the bathroom to clean him up, he hadn’t tried anything.

As if wanting to prove me wrong, Abbott chuckles, his eyes clouded with whatever he’s on. “Your little babysitter has a gentle touch. I wouldn’t mind those hands on my—”

“What the fuck is wrong with you?” Kade tightens his grip on him. Damon takes a step in, like he’s about to break the two of them apart but he’s not quite ready yet.

Abbott just laughs. “Go ahead and take your best shot, big brother. You can’t hurt me. No one can.”

“He’s stoned out of his fucking mind,” Damon says.

“Christ, were you driving like this?” Kade shoves him one more time against the wall, then releases him.

“I’m fine.”

“You drove a fucking car into the side of the building.”

That must have been the sound I’d heard, when the apartment shook. But I don’t think that’s what caused the damage to his face. From the redness and abrasions on his knuckles, I’m pretty sure he’d been fighting.  

Abbott adjusts his shirt, wiping the blood off his face with the back of his forearm. He isn’t as tall as Kade and Damon, but he’s all muscle, and I have no doubt he’d give both men a good fight if he wanted to.

“There was ice.” He doesn’t even have the sense to look somewhat sorry. “You should have salted the parking lot.”

“Bullshit,” Kade snaps, resting his palms on the back of his head and looking up at the ceiling.

“Whose car is it?” Damon asks.

Abbott shrugs. “Some idiot who left his keys laying around.”

“Shit.” Damon pinches the bridge of his nose. “You know I should arrest you for theft and drinking and driving.”

A smirk pulls at Abbott’s lips. “But you won’t.”

There’s almost a hint of a challenge there, like he’s tempting his brother to take him in. And I understand what lurks behind his eyes. It’s not danger, but self-destruction.

“Why the hell did you come up here?” Kade demands, suspicion lacing his words.  

“I forgot Blondie was here.” He leans against the wall, his pupils so dilated his eyes look black. “If I’d remembered, I would have brought a few friends.” His grin lands on me and he chuckles. “You may know them, Durex and Trojan.”

Kade takes a step towards him, hands fisted, but Damon steps between them.

“Why so touchy? Unless you’re already fucking her.”

“Can I hit him again?” Kade asks Damon, his jaw clenching and unclenching.

Abbott laughs, apparently not concerned about Kade’s threat, or maybe wanting to provoke him, because his next words make me cringe, too. “Shit. You are, aren’t you? Well, at least you’ve upgraded after Ana. But I guess anything with a pulse is an improvement from a corpse—”

“Shut the fuck up before I allow Kade to beat your sorry ass,” Damon says, getting in Abbott’s face. “You’ve gone too far this time, kid.”

“I’m not a kid,” Abbott spits back. “And no one was hurt—”

“Have you looked in the mirror?’ Kade growls out.

Abbott gives a crooked grin. “You should see the other guys.”

Damon’s nostrils flare. “You’re fighting illegally again.”

“You’re really going to give me a lesson on morals?” Abbott says, holding Damon’s gaze. Something unspoken passes between them.

Damon’s eye twitches, and he whispers something to Abbott that I can’t hear.

Kade turns to me and his gaze rakes across my body again, but there’s only concern in his eyes. “You’re sure you’re all right? He didn’t...touch you?”

“Fuck you,” Abbott spits out over Damon’s shoulder. “You think I need to force myself on a chick?”

Kade’s face turns a dark shade of red, but he keeps his gaze trained on me.

“Stop being a jackass,” Damon warns.

Abbott just chuckles again like it’s all a big game. I recognize the spiral he’s in. I’ve been there. Almost didn’t survive. I’m not sure what pain he’s trying to numb, but I have no doubt it’s something that broke his soul.

Damon pulls out his phone from his back pocket when it rings. “Hey. No, everything’s fine.” He moves into the living room, his brows drawn down.

Abbott thankfully follows him out. One more comment and I doubt Kade would refrain from hitting him again.

“I’m sorry you had to deal with this.” Kade drags his fingers through his hair and blows out a heavy breath.

“It’s fine.” My voice is shaky, but mostly from adrenaline.  

“No, it’s not.” He unzips his jacket and takes it off, grabbing a towel off the rack. He dampens it before turning to me and taking my hands to wipe Abbott’s blood away.  “I’m sorry if he scared you. I didn’t realize he had a key to this place.” He rinses the blood off the towel. “I’ll have the locks changed in the morning. Probably should have done it before.” He leans in, palms pressed on the counter as he closes his eyes. “Shit. I’m really sorry, Sophie.”

“It’s okay, really. I’ve worked in a bar most of my adult life. I’ve dealt with hundreds of Abbotts before. But I do think he needs to go to the hospital. He may need stitches and possibly a CT scan.”

Kade grunts and shakes his head, turning back to me. “What he needs is thirty days in rehab and possibly a lobotomy.”

A small smile pulls at my lips. “How’s Quinn doing?”

“She was sleeping when I left. I think it’ll still be a while.”

My chest squeezes as memories try to push their way to the center of my mind, but Kade takes a step towards me, his presence keeping me grounded in the reality before me.

He reaches out, tucking a piece of hair behind my ear. Just that small touch has my heart racing. His presence is overwhelming, consuming, and it leaves me wanting more.

Don’t ruin the good thing you have here, Sophie, my brain warns.  

I’ve never experienced lust this strong.

And that’s all it is. Physical and carnal. It wouldn’t be anything more. Couldn’t be. But then, I swear when he looks at me it’s like his damn soul is opened to me. There’s a need there, not just for pleasure, but for connection.

Damon clears his throat from the doorway.  “That was Zee. He’s at the hospital now.”

“Good,” Kade takes a step back, his shoulders straightening, his expression closing off, becoming guarded.

Abbott appears behind Damon, and for the first time since meeting him I see an ounce of concern flash in his dark eyes. “Why’s he at the hospital?”

Kade’s jaw tenses. “Because Quinn is in labor. We were there until you—”

“Daddy?” Lola’s little voice calls out.

“Shit,” Kade mutters, pushing past his brothers.

“What’s wrong?” Lola asks, rubbing her eyes.

Kade scoops her up in his arms. “Nothing, peanut. You should be sleeping.”

She yawns. “Did Aunt Q have her baby?”

“Not yet.” He glances at me, and I can see what he needs. There’s a request in his eyes.

“I’ll take her back to bed,” I say, allowing him to transfer her into my arms.

She clings to me, burying her face in my neck as I walk her back to the bedroom. When I lay her down in the bed, she doesn’t let go.

“Will you stay with me?” she mumbles sleepily.

“For a few minutes.” I crawl in beside her, and she snuggles against me.

I can hear the men arguing in the living room, but I can’t make out their words.

“Uncle Abs got in a fight again,” she says into the darkness, her little hand finding mine.  

“He’ll be okay.”

Seconds tick by, and I think she’s fallen asleep.

“Sophie?” she says.

“Yeah, kiddo?”

“Is Uncle Abs going to die, too?”

My breath sticks in my throat. “Why would you think that?”

“I heard Daddy tell Aunt Q that he’s like my mommy.” She yawns again. “I don’t want Abbott to die.”

“He won’t, sweetheart.” I’m not understanding her words. There’s still so much about her and Kade I don’t know.

When she’s finally asleep, I untangle myself from her arms, shifting out of the bed. The apartment is quiet now.

I find Kade alone in the bathroom, scrubbing the blood off the counter.

“Lola’s asleep,” I say, catching a glimpse of myself in the mirror and wincing. There’s blood on my t-shirt and splattered on my arm, but at least I’m not wearing Quinn’s hot pink dress like I had been when Damon came by earlier.

He sighs, tossing the towel in the sink. “Thank you.”

“They’re gone?” I ask.

“Damon’s taking him to the ER to get checked out.”

“That’s good.”

He nods and rubs his eyes with his palms. “Is Lola okay?”

I hesitate before answering.

“Sophie?”

“She said something before she fell asleep.” I don’t know how involved I should get, or how he’ll react if I express my concern. “She thinks...”

He straightens. “Tell me.”

“She said she’s worried Abbott is going to die.” I take a deep breath. “Like her mom did.”

His eyes close momentarily, and the weight of the world seems to press down on his shoulders. “She mentioned Ana to you?” He frowns at me, his expression pained.

I know I shouldn’t push, and it’s none of my business, but I ask anyway. “How long ago did she pass away?”

The muscles in his face tighten, and he leans against the counter. “Five months ago.”

It takes a moment for his words to register.

Five months ago.

That’s when we met, when we...

Oh God.

“Were you married when we—”

“No.” He looks up at the ceiling. “She passed away the week before.  Shit, I know how terrible that must sound, but we hadn’t been together in years. When I met you, I was coming back from Chicago. I had to...identify her body.”

“Oh.” My knees feel weak, because I’m starting to realize what that night was for him. What I was to him. Just a means to chase off his demons.

You already knew that, Sophie, my brain reminds me. I know it’s true, but it still feels like a harsh blow. And I wonder if it’d been her he’d fantasized about when he’d taken me. If it was his dead wife who he’d imagined he was with.

Does it matter?

It shouldn’t. He was just a one-night stand. Is just a one-night stand.

“You think I’m an asshole for sleeping with you that night,” he says. “And I don’t blame you. It’s not something I’m proud of.”

Ouch. Another blow.

“Okay.”

“Shit,” he mumbles. “I didn’t mean it that way. I just—”

“We were both running from something.” I shrug, trying not to let his comments affect me. “Sometimes only a stranger can understand the pain.”

He takes a step towards me. “You’re not a stranger anymore.”

“Close enough.” I blink up at him, and a tremble of want goes through me when I see the heat in his eyes.

“Too close,” he murmurs.

“Tell me about her,” I say, using her memory as a shield. “About Ana.”

He doesn’t pull away like I thought he would.

His eyes darken momentarily, before he speaks. “We got married young. She was pregnant with Lola, and I thought...” He inhales through his nose. “I thought she was in love with me.”

My chest squeezes for him, for the hurt I see in his eyes. His story is too close to my own, and yet the ending is so completely different.

“What happened?”

He leans against the counter, his fingers curling around the edge, knuckles whitening. Time ticks by.

“She left us not long after Lola was born,” he finally says. “She came back a few times that first year. Acted like she wanted to make things work. But she was just biding her time to spend my savings. I fell for it twice before I got smart enough to take her name off the account.”

“I’m sorry.”

“I could have forgiven her for all that. But...” He pinches the bridge of his nose. “She took off with Lola. I didn’t know where they were for almost three months.” The emotion in his voice is like he’s experiencing it all over again in his head. “Worst three months of my life. Not knowing where my little girl was.”

It’s a pain I understand.

Noah, Noah, Noah, my heart beats.

“She threatened to hurt Lola if I didn’t pay her.”

“Oh my God.” Shock and grief constrict my heart.

“I gave her the money. Got Lola back.” His eyes go distant. “She hadn’t hurt her, not physically, but she hadn’t taken care of her, either. She’d been neglected...”

My stomach coils and tears burn my eyes at the words he doesn’t say, the hell I can see going on in his head as memories take over.

“That was the last time she saw Ana.” He inhales a slow, uneven breath before letting it out. “After that, I went to court and got full custody. The only thing that matters to me is her. I can’t let—” Emotion tightens his words. “I won’t let anyone hurt her again.”

I know his words are meant to put distance between us, meant to warn me that he has nothing to offer, that his world revolves around his little girl. But knowing that he’d do anything to protect his child puts another small crack in my armor.

Careful, Sophie.    

I touch his arm gently. It’s not meant to be anything more than a gesture of sympathy, but like every time we touch, there’s a tug. A gravity so strong I know it could destroy us both if we gave into it.

He meets my gaze, and the space between us seems to collapse in on itself. I’m pulled closer, even though I don’t move.  It’s like I can see myself reflected in his eyes. As broken as our souls are, the jagged pieces fit together, making one whole. How can someone I barely know have this kind of impact? It’s unsettling, and crazy, and I want more.

“I like you, Sophie,” he says roughly.

“I like you, too.”

He sighs. “You’re a beautiful woman, and if things were different...”

I try not to let the rejection sting, but it does, even though I know it’s for the best that we end things before they’ve even started.

It isn't fair to bring the dark cloud that always seems to follow me, just waiting for the perfect moment to downpour, into his and Lola’s life.

Anything more than a boss-employee relationship would just confuse things...confuse my heart, which has already started to fall for this crazy, wonderful family.

“You don’t have to explain.” I force a smile.

His lips purse momentarily, before he pushes away from the counter. “I’ll go down to my office and grab a charger before I head back to the hospital.”

“Kade,” I say, stopping him as he starts to leave. “For what it’s worth...” I swallow over the lump in my throat. “Anyone who’d run from this...from you, from Lola…doesn’t deserve to be part of your lives. You’re a good man.”  

His brows draw down and he holds my gaze for a long moment, before giving a hard nod and walking out of the room.

With a sigh, I shut the door and start to strip out of my ruined clothes, needing a hot shower to wash the blood away, or maybe a cold one to wash the stain of Kade’s touch from my skin.

I’m about to turn the water on when the door opens.

“I meant to ask—”

I let out a small shriek, looking for something, anything, to cover myself, but all the towels had been used to wipe up Abbott’s mess, and my clothes are a pile at Kade’s feet. I take a step back. My calves hit the back of tub, and I reach for the shower curtain, but when I do, I lose my balance and start to fall backwards.

“Shit!” He reacts quickly, catching me before my head hits the tiled wall. He pulls me back up, nothing but the rough material of his jeans and shirt between us, his large hands splayed on my back. And God, those eyes, dark and piercing, hold my gaze, and I’m bound to him in this moment.

My breath is gone.

My pulse thunders.

I swear I feel the floor tremble beneath me, or maybe it’s just my knees giving out.

Lust blazes so damn hot between us.

It’s just physical, I warn my heart. The same damn heart that batters uncontrollably against my ribcage, wanting things I know I can never have. But the ache inside of me doesn’t care what my brain knows is true.

Either way, I lose.

If he rejects me now, I may just crawl into a cave and never come out. But if he takes what we both want, I know it’s just the beginning of the end of this small taste of family I’ve found here.

“God, Sophie,” he rasps, his breath warm and inviting against my lips. “Do you have any idea how much I want you right now?”

I do, because desire pulses almost violently through me, straight to my core.

“Is it worth it?” I ask, fisting my hands in his shirt. “The cost of losing ourselves?”

A low groan vibrates from his throat. “I don’t know. But I’m willing to find out.”