Kade

“I forgot how tiny they are,” I say, cradling my new nephew in my arms. He’s barely an hour old, face red and pinched, but my chest squeezes with love for the kid. This is what life is about; family, new beginnings. I trace a knuckle across his tiny fist. “Have you given him a name yet?”

Zee sits on the edge of the bed, one arm wrapped around Quinn’s shoulder, smiling like a damn fool. “Jaxson Thomas St. James.”

“Good name,” I say, smiling back down at the tiny bundle in my arms.

My mom is beside me, her eyes silently pleading for me to hand him back over. I chuckle, remembering that she’d been the same way when Lola was born.

Things had been different that night, though. Unlike the healthy little boy I place in my mom’s waiting arms, Lola had been rushed away, stuck in a neonatal unit for observation.

It was three days before I was allowed to hold my daughter, and by the time we were able to bring her home, Ana had already slipped into a depression that was far beyond my ability to handle. I’d called the hospital, took her to doctor’s appointments, made sure she took the medications they prescribed. But six weeks later, she walked away from us for the first time.

“Is everything all right with Lola and Sophie?” Quinn asks, resting her head on her husband’s shoulders, entwining her fingers with his.

I glance at Zee, who already knows what happened with Abbott, and his lips thin. He’s been warning me about the kid for months now, worried that he’s gotten himself into a deeper hole than he can climb out of. After tonight, I’m starting to realize he’s right.

Not wanting to worry Quinn, I tell a small white lie. “Just some trouble with the power box.”

Damon is still downstairs in the emergency with Abbott, waiting on a fucking CT scan.

After I got the charger from my office, I left my phone with Sophie, so I haven’t been able to text him to see what’s going on. My parents are still oblivious to everything as well, but my mom knows half the nurses in this place, so I doubt Abbott’s presence will stay a secret for long.

“Did Damon come back with you?” my dad asks, as if somehow reading my thoughts. “Abbott still isn’t answering his phone.”

“I’m sure they’ll be here soon.” I change the subject quickly. “Did anyone text Jasper?”

“I did,” my mom says the words in a coo-like voice as she rocks her grandson in her arms. “He’s flying back tomorrow.”

Good. We may not see much of my oldest brother, even less since he started flying some rich fucker around on a private jet, but he always comes home for the important things.

“It’s time we gave the new mom some privacy,” a nurse says as she comes into the room. “She needs to rest.”

I lean over and kiss Quinn on the cheek. “I’m proud of you, sweetheart.”

She gives me a smile that lights up her whole face. “He’s pretty amazing, isn’t he?”

My throat constricts, and I nod as my mom places Jaxson in my sister’s eager arms.

“I can still remember the day Mom and Dad brought you home from the hospital,” I mutter, shaking my head at how quickly life goes by.  

She was a skinny little thing, so damn fragile, with a mop of pitch black hair. And then she’d opened her mouth and let out a wail that let us know she was just as much a fighter as any of the Savages.

She’d proven it this past year, fighting for the life, the love, and the family she had now. They’d overcome insurmountable obstacles to be here today. Every ounce of their happiness was hard won.

I want that. The thought pops into my head, along with the image of Sophie holding Lola tonight when she’d carried her off to bed.

It’s an insane thought, one that produces just as much anxiety as it does hope.

“Kade,” Zee says, catching me as I walk out into the hallway. The sound of a baby’s cry comes from one of the other open doors.

My parents are already at the elevators, and I wave for them to go on without me.

“Just got a text from Damon. Abbot was released, so he’s going to take him home and let him sleep off whatever shit is in his system.”

“He’s not taking him in to the station?”

“I don’t think so.”

I should have known Damon wouldn’t arrest him. We’ve always tried to protect each other, but I’m starting to wonder if it’s not part of the problem.

“Thanks for letting me know.”

Zee gives a hard nod, worry causing lines to furrow his brow.

“Did you call Liam?” I ask, thinking it odd that his brother isn’t here.

“Of course,” Zee says, but I can hear a hint of a lie in his words. “I’m sure he’ll be up later.”

I don’t push it. There are secrets and lies that run deep between all of us, some of which came out last summer, but many that I know still slink under the surface of our families’ foundations. And I have a sinking feeling that it’s just a matter of time before they slither up through the cracks and rear their ugly heads.   

“Oh,” Zee says, pressing his fingers to his forehead like he just remembered something. “Quinn said to bring Sophie with you when you come back with Lola.”

“Sure.” I rub the back of my neck. “I’ll ask her.”

“Who’s Sophie again?” he asks, chuckling.

I grunt. “Quinn didn’t tell you?”

“We’ve been a little preoccupied.” He gives me a big, goofy grin, nodding towards the room where Quinn and their son are resting.

I shrug. How the hell am I supposed to explain who she is when I don’t really know myself? “She’s...it’s...complicated.”

His brows lift. “A good kind of complicated, I hope.”

He may have been out of my life for years before coming back to Port Clover last summer, but the man knows me as well as anyone.

I lean against the wall, giving him the quick rundown. “Quinn found her yesterday on the side of the road, with her car broken down. She brought her back to the pub, offered her a job and the apartment.”

“Shit.” Zee chuckles. “Let me guess, without asking you.”

“Yeah.”

“And what? You don’t like her?”

“No.” I pinch the bridge of my nose. “The problem is I like her a little too much.”

He laughs. “Is Kade Savage finally thinking about breaking his vow of celibacy?” When I don’t respond, his brows raise again. “Unless you already broke it.”

I glance up at the ceiling, blowing out a breath. “Yeah.”

“Damn, you did? About fucking time, man.”

“Happened months ago. It was after...” I rough my palms over my face. “When I was coming back from Chicago, I stopped at a bar. She was there. And now she’s...”

“Now she’s here.” He fills in the blanks for me.

I groan. “I’m so screwed.”

Silence.

“Did you knock her up?” he finally asks.

“No. Jesus.” But I can’t fault his question. I’d thought the same thing.

“So, what, she wants more?”

“I honestly don’t know what she wants. Or what I can give her. I’ve got Lola to think about. I can’t bring another person into her life who might leave again.”

“Sounds like she’s already part of her life. She’s watching Lola now, right? When’s the last time you let anyone other than family take care of her?”

“It was an emergency.”

He lifts his shoulders, then drops them. “You know as well as I do that life is a shitshow of disappointment. Have you ever thought that maybe it’s yourself you’re trying to protect, and not just Lola?”

I grunt at his brutal honesty.

He slaps my shoulder. “You’re a good dad. Wanting to have someone to share your life with doesn’t change that.”

“Who would have thought Zee St. James would be giving me relationship advice,” I say, chuckling, and shaking my head at the three-sixty our lives have done.

He smirks before heading back into Quinn’s room.

And I’m left standing there wondering if he’s right. But I’ve already played the part of the fool once before.

It was a mistake thinking there was anything more than physical attraction between Sophie and I. Even if it could grow into something more, which she made clear she didn’t want, I recognize something in her that scares the shit out of me. It isn’t just the brokenness I see when I look in those hazel eyes. I can relate to the pain, the guilt, the sadness that swirls around her like it’s attached to her very soul.

But it’s the look, the same one Ana had before she left, that tells me if trouble comes and her options are to fight or flee, she wouldn’t hesitate to disappear.