Chapter Seventeen

 

 

 

 

Pretty Boy felt the blows before he woke up. A fist smacked him in the eye and he could hear the panicked, almost harsh breathing. It was Gabi screaming, he knew something was wrong as he jerked fully awake. He realized that somehow during the night he’d grabbed Gabriella and she had woken up underneath him, triggering a panic attack. Fuck, this wasn’t good. Gabriella was hysterical and even though he’d moved off her, she was still punching and hitting him as she fought the demons in her mind. Her eyes were unfocused and glassy, and he realized this was a full-blown attack that wasn’t going to be easy to snap her out of.

Reaching out he gently rubbed her wild hair off her forehead, trying to calm her with the light touch, but it only seemed to increase her panic. She punched him in the face again and he was forced to pin her arms before she hurt herself or him. He knew she’d be upset if she did manage to injure him because of this fit she was having. Gabi was already on the edge after last night’s events. Something about the way she was screaming for him to stop, as she thrashed and kicked trying to escape his gentle hold, almost broke him. Fuck, maybe he should release her and get out of the bed. Maybe if she didn’t feel threatened anymore she’d calm down. Only the fear that her thrashing would cause her harm, kept him there.

“Breathe, firefly. Breathe for me. You’re safe.” He soothed, trying not to hurt her as she tossed her head back and forth fighting the invisible demons. His heart was ripped to shreds as he heard the pitiful whimpers and the pleading for him to stop escaping her between gasps. Tears were pouring down her cheeks into her hair and she was a mess.

“You’re okay, firefly. It’s just me, baby. You’re safe,” he whispered against her temple when she stopped thrashing, as she still laid there crying and begging. He knew from the things she’d told him that this was how it had been. When it started she’d fought, but by the end she’d just begged. It had made her ashamed of herself, but it just made him want to punch things. No woman should ever have to go through this type of pain, and it made him angry as fuck that it was his sweet Gabriella who had suffered like this. He didn’t want her to feel such pain, or to suffer as she had for almost a month while she was in those bastard’s care.

He felt her shivering and he wanted to cuddle her, but he knew she would likely panic again if he did because she wasn’t fully aware yet. She hadn’t fought her way out of the nightmares she was reliving. His hands were stroking her back and she was finally winding down when she became aware. It was a slow process, and Pretty Boy felt her stiffen and attempt to pull away from him. Growling in displeasure he released her, unwilling to trigger another panic attack that would leave her hysterical. Gabriella stood up, dragging the sheet with her as she climbed out of the bed. He didn’t fight her as she stood staring at him with a haunted expression.

“I freaked out didn’t I?” she asked.

“You did,” Pretty Boy carefully replied, watching her face.

“I don’t understand why this keeps happening.” Gabi moaned, her hand flying to cover her face as the other gripped the sheet tightly to her chest. Pretty Boy didn’t move, but he kept his eyes on her.

“It’s going to happen sometimes Gabi. We talked about this.”

“It shouldn’t still be happening Pretty Boy!” she snapped, letting her hand drop as she glared at him.

“Babe, we talked about this. You know that what happened to you left serious mental scars that will take a long time to heal. It’s nor—,” Pretty Boy was saying, but her shrill voice cut across his.

“No! Don’t tell me it’s normal. What happened to me wasn’t normal, and the fact that you keep trying to tell me that these scars are okay means you need to wake up. You can’t keep making excuses for me to be like this. How can you be satisfied with half a woman? I can’t even sleep in the same bed with you, without freaking out over nothing. I freaked out! Not because you were hurting me, or because you held me down, but because I’m not normal. You need to stop doing this to yourself and walk away.” She screeched, her hand flying through the air as she animatedly shouted at him.

“Gabi, just calm down. I know you’re upset but—,”

“Stop patronizing me! Don’t tell me to calm down! You’re always so calm about my panic attacks and we both know that I will never be able to be normal. I lost that when they locked me in that room and it isn’t going to change because you want it to Kyle!”

“Firefly, I’m not trying to patronize you. I wouldn’t ever try to act like I have any idea what you went through. I know it was bad, but you can’t always use your scars as a way to keep a certain distance between us either. I won’t live in constant fear that you’re going to walk out on us. I won’t do it, Gabi.” She watched Kyle stand up and grab his pants off the floor, putting them on with a frustrated look on his face. Gabi growled and moved to her dresser, pulling out her clothes and turning back to look over her shoulder at him. He was digging through his own drawers, likely searching for a shirt since he still wasn’t wearing one. Feeling angrier than she’d ever felt, she twisted away from him and stormed into the bathroom to dress.

“This conversation isn’t over,” he called to her through the door.

“I’m done with this little game. I don’t know why I thought that this could work between us. I warned you months ago that I wasn’t a safe bet and that you were likely going to be disappointed with the way things turned out between us.” Gabi knew as soon as the words flew from her mouth that she didn’t mean them as she closed her eyes and counted to three. She didn’t know where all this anger was coming from, and knew directing it at Kyle wasn’t fair. Why was she screaming at him? She knew that he wasn’t the problem, but once she’d started yelling it just kept pouring out of her mouth and she couldn’t stop it.

“Really, Gabriella? What the fuck? I can’t handle this bullshit. Maybe we should table this for a few days. I’m going to go on this run with Log alone. I think we both need time to think about this bullshit.” Kyle snarled.

Gabi felt tears burning her eyes as she stood gripping the counter trying to catch her breath. She knew that little speech had sounded a lot like goodbye and she didn’t want that. She didn’t want him to walk away, but she wasn’t sure how to stop him. She pulled on her shirt and shorts before opening the door to go talk to him, but as she made her way into the hallway she heard his bike roar to life and she felt her heart almost stop as fear gripped her.

What had she just done? Had she finally succeeded in pushing him too far?

Her mind whirling with a thousand questions, she ran out of the house into the drive and watched as he disappeared around the corner. She found her knees giving out as she landed on the gravel, her heart stuttering as she tried to stop the sobs from ripping her apart. Gabi didn’t notice the pain from the hard rocks pressing into her knees, nor did she feel the chill that was turning her lips almost blue. All she knew was that she couldn’t bear to lose Kyle, and the thought that it might already be too late to save their relationship tore her to shreds. Her body shook, and her fears almost overwhelmed her as she knelt there in the yard staring at nothing but a trail of dust Pretty Boy had left. It was almost an hour later that she felt someone lightly touch her arm, making her jump and jerk upward to get away.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to frighten you, but it’s too cold out here for you to be wearing that.” Rock said, holding his hands up in the air, making her understand that he meant no harm. Gabriella didn’t say anything, she just looked at Rock blankly. Her heart still ripping to shreds by what she’d done.

“It’s okay, sweetheart. Come on, let’s go inside so we can get you cleaned up and warm.” Rock said, motioning for her to proceed him into the cabin. Feeling numb, she got up ignoring the painful feeling of the rocks embedded in her legs as she walked ahead of him up the porch steps.

“Why don’t you sit down on the couch for a moment. Do you guys have a first aid kit?” Rock asked. Rock waited until she sat down and then grabbed a blanket she’d draped across the chair by the door, wrapping it around her shoulders. Gabi found her voice as she pointed to the kitchen.

“In the cabinet by the stove.” She shifted, readying herself to stand so she could go and get it. She was gently shoved back down by Rock’s hand as he moved away from her to head into the kitchen to grab it.

“No don’t get up. I’ll get it, you just wrap yourself up in that blanket until I get back.”

Gabi waited, not really caring about what he was doing. Surprisingly, she wasn’t scared of Rock at that moment, likely because losing Pretty Boy possibly for good had shaken her. Rock returned holding the first aid kit with a grim look on his face.

“Let me clean these cuts up and then we can talk about what you were doing outside in this weather without a coat and wearing a pair of sleep shorts.” Rock rumbled as he knelt beside her. Gabi just sat still, not caring what he did.