Chapter Three

 

 

 

 

Gabi woke pinned to the bed by a heavy weight. Her heart didn’t start racing and she didn’t struggle to get away because she knew that the arm pinning her wasn’t a threat. No, it belonged to the man she was trying to set free. The man she’d told to just walk away even as she’d feared what would happen to what was left of her shattered soul if he did. Kyle, her savior, the only reason she was still able to function. Damn it, she had to convince him to stop allowing her to weigh him down. She rolled slightly, finding his handsome face turned towards her on the pillow as he held her to him possessively. His hard jaw was relaxed in a way that softened his features.

She understood why they named him Pretty Boy looking at him. It was the perfect jaw line and the hard, full lips that were parted slightly as his breath puffed out in light snores. He looked so much younger than his twenty-eight years. Her eyes traced the scruff that was starting to form along his handsome jaw, wondering what it would feel like against her skin. Gabi sighed deeply, wishing that she could be what he needed her to be. Feeling the sting of tears, she closed her eyes as she tried to get her emotions under control. When she finally opened them a few moments later he was watching her, his eyes dark with desires she couldn’t name.

Those brown pools didn’t frighten her despite their intensity, because she knew he’d never push for anything she wasn’t willing to give him. It was the reason she felt safe with him. Even when she’d been sleeping in his bed every night he’d never pushed. He shifted closer, drawing her to him slowly. Gabi knew if she’d struggled for even a second, he would have let her go immediately. She allowed him to arrange her next to him with his lips hovering over hers.

“Gabi, baby. We need to talk about this idea you have about pushing me away for my own good.” Kyle’s voice was gritty from sleep and his eyes were serious and intently focused on her. Gabi wanted to squirm away from him and climb out of the bed to avoid this conversation, but something about the way he stared wouldn’t let her.

“Kyle,” Gabi began, her heart aching at the words hovering on her lips.

“No, you aren’t going to force me to walk away and there is no way in hell I will allow you to walk away from me without a fight. You might as well face the facts and realize I’m here to stay. I know you think we can’t be together, that you will never be able to have a sexual relationship with me because of what happened to you, but I know that’s not true.” He told her, his eyes moving over her face watching for any changes in her expression.

“Kyle, I can’t give you what you want. I can’t.” Gabi pleaded with him, trying to make him understand.

“You don’t know that Gabi. You haven’t even tried. I won’t force you and you will always be able to call a halt to anything happening between us, even if I’m balls deep inside you.” Kyle told her hotly, making her blush as she stared up into his brown eyes, almost drowning in them.

“I—Kyle. I’m scared.”

“I know babe, we will likely hit road blocks along the way and we might even find some things we can’t ever do, but if we don’t try, it’s going to ruin us both. We were supposed to be together firefly. I’ve known that since the moment I first held you in my arms. The anger I felt for what they’d done to you was a living breathing thing. I’ve never been so enraged, because I knew even when you were dirty, shaking, and lying on that little mat in that shack that you were mine. You will always be mine, Gabi. That won’t change, not ever.” His words were spoken against her lips as he brushed his against them softly. Gabi’s breath caught and she let out a little gasp.

“How can you say it won’t change? You’re a man, and men need sex.” Gabi couldn’t hide the pain in her voice as she spoke one of her biggest fears.

“Firefly, we can do other things if you can’t do sex. I know we can work something out. Even if all we ever do is dry hump with our clothes on, I can live with that. I need you, not sex, Gabi. Just you, babe. Your soft body pressing against mine every night while I hold you is more satisfying than having sex with any club whore or bunny ever could be.” He kissed her forehead and then her nose before nuzzling her neck with more kisses and nips. Gabi didn’t push him away and her body stirred as desire slowly spread through her veins.

“What if you decide it’s not enough, Pretty Boy. I couldn’t take it if we start this and you end up in another woman’s bed because I can’t give you what you need.” Her eyes filled with tears and she squeezed her eyes shut to try and hide them, but the soft sipping kisses that he placed on each of her cheeks told her she hadn’t succeeded.

“That won’t ever happen. I wouldn’t do that to you. Why are you calling me Pretty Boy? You know I prefer you to call me Kyle when we’re in bed, that hasn’t changed.” He frowned as he pushed up and looked down at her, his eyes softened with a tenderness that almost hurt her to look at.

“I just slipped up is all.” Gabi lied. She’d been trying to keep space between her heart and him by using his club name instead of the intimated one he’d given her the first night she’d slept in his arms.

“Gabi,” Kyle sighed, his head shaking, “I know you’re lying.”

“What?”

“Don’t put up more road blocks between us. We have enough problems to hurdle without you adding more by lying to me.” Kyle scolded before he rubbed his nose on hers. Gabi felt so good in his arms like this, when it was just the two of them. She lifted her arms wrapping them around his neck, linking her fingers behind his head. He smiled, his eyes crinkling at the corners as he leaned forward kissing her nose again.

“I just don’t know if we can make this work.”

“We can. You just have to give us a chance babe. I know that you think you won’t be enough, but I’ve waited for you for years. What about that says you could ever be less than what I need? Just say you will think about it firefly, please.” He nuzzled into her neck, resting his head on her shoulder as she held him around his neck thinking about what he’d said. He wasn’t wrong. He had been hanging around waiting for her to give him a sign that she was ready for more. She knew for a fact that even after she’d moved out that he’d never gone to bed with another woman because they’d started calling him monk and teasing him about not getting laid.

“I will think about it, but no promises that I will give in. It really will break me if we start this and you decide it’s not enough.” Gabi tightened her hold on his neck hugging him to her. He didn’t protest her hold and she felt his body stiffen as he raised his head meeting her eyes with his.

“Gabi, I know you’re scared, but think about this when you’re making your decision about us. Will it be any easier if you see me walk away and into the arms of another woman before we’ve even given us a chance to be a couple?” He asked, before he laid his head on her shoulder. With his arms encircling her as he pulled her even closer, he sighed and fell back to sleep. Leaving her lying in his arms with her heart screaming at her to try, because he was right, seeing him with someone else would likely kill her even if they didn’t try to be a couple.