Chapter 31

Marc

This day started out like normal. Then I went into work and found I no longer had a job. Then the last person I expected arrived at my door today, the man I hadn’t laid my eyes on or spoken to for two months, though I hadn’t been able to expel him from my thoughts. While Hyde might have joked about using my vibrator to thoughts of Jax Teller, he’d been far from the truth, and it was another blond biker that had fuelled my fantasies.

But never had I imagined I’d see him how he appeared this afternoon, his face twisted in such rage I was almost frightened. Until he threw those ridiculous pregnancy tests at me. How could any man be so cruel?

But with the result, it appears that I’m pregnant. With twins.

Still unable to accept the impossible, it seems easier to accept I seem to have acquired a dog which I never expected or knew I wanted. But as soon as I’d seen him dumped out of that car, I knew he was mine. His name? Well, if he’s going to be on the compound among bikers, he might as well have a name to match. His little snuffling sounds as he snuggles up to me sound as though he’s grunting. Grunt. It fits.

“Grunt, eh?” Heart’s stopped laughing, his arm’s around both me and the pup. As I glance up into his face it’s to see a depth of emotion I never thought I’d see directed at me. He thinks I’m pregnant. With his babies. It’s them he wants, not me. A sudden chill goes through me of what I might be walking into. But once again it seems I don’t have much choice. I’ve no weapon to threaten with, and two bikers outnumbering me.

Holding Grunt close, I walk back to the truck, only releasing him for a moment so I can climb inside, and then Heart hands him back.

Soon we’re pulling off, back onto the road, and I accept I’ve committed to returning to the compound with no idea what reception I’ll receive. And not even sure I want to be with the man beside me, unable to forget the malicious words he’d thrown at me.

I would be trembling were it not for the calming presence of the pup in my arms. Suddenly I realise I don’t want to face the inevitable questions or accusations that will surely be thrown, at least not until Heart and I have thrashed everything out.

“Heart?”

“Yeah, darlin’?”

“Please don’t tell anyone. About the, you know.”

“Babies?”

“Yes. Look, it’s really early. Anything could go wrong.” And probably will given my medical history. I should be elated, this should be the best day of my life. But I can’t allow myself to get excited, it’s one last joke life’s going to play on me, give me hope and take it away, and I don’t think I’ll survive it. Right now, the parentage of the babies I’m carrying is the last thing on my mind. I’m too scared I’m going to lose them.

“Nothin’s gonna go wrong.” Heart tries to reassure me. “But we’ll keep it to ourselves for now, okay?”

I didn’t expect my reappearance to be welcomed, but to top off my day, the clubhouse is crowded when we arrive. I reckon all the brothers are there, as well as their old ladies. All conversation stops as Heart leads me inside. I hug Grunt to me as though he’s a shield, even though he’s already a big pup and heavy.

Brothers part, allowing us free passage, looks of distrust on their faces. Heart’s arm is holding me protectively into his side, his chin raised. We’ve just reached the bar when there’s a loud shout.

“What the fuck is she doing here?” Drummer pushes his way through the milling throng, his eyes sharp with suspicion. He looks at me, at the bundle I’m holding, and then gives a death stare to Heart.

Heart’s not fazed. He leans against the bar and turns me around, still holding me tightly, my back to his front. His arms go around me, one hand holding me and the pup, and the other resting on my stomach. I can’t see his face, but hear the challenge in his voice. “I’m claimin’ my ol’ lady, Prez. And this time it’s for real.”

Drummer looks shocked. I doubt much takes him unexpected, but he doesn’t appear to have seen this in the cards. He looks at me, then Heart, then at the dog, who’s stopped wriggling in my arms as if sensing his future lies in the balance.

“What the fuck?” he repeats. “Heart, we need to talk about this.” Drummer’s narrowed eyes land on me. “Nothin’ against you personally, darlin’. We’ve given you protection, and I’ll continue to do that while there’s a risk to ya. But havin’ the likes of you on the compound is a fuckin’ mistake. You’re a cop.”

“No, she’s not,” Heart corrects, nuzzling my head, his lips on my hair. I haven’t experienced demonstrations of affection from him before, but I haven’t the strength to object.

Drummer’s looking more and more perplexed, there’s a rumble of low voices around. If it wasn’t for Heart’s strong arms around me, claiming me, I’d feel scared.

“She lost her job today, Prez. She was sacked.”

Drummer takes a moment for the news to sink in. “Still don’t know where her loyalties lie. You been let go, darlin’? That seems a strange fuckin’ coincidence to me. Reckon there’s something more to it than you being a crap cop.”

There is, and Drummer’s sharp enough to know it.

“Even an ex-cop is not someone we can trust.” Peg’s come up alongside to support his prez. “Heart, think about this. She could be a plant.”

I move and open my mouth, but Heart shakes his head and tightens his hold. “She stays or I go.” Now it’s Heart who’s surprised me. “Not givin’ up my ol’ lady, Prez.”

“Because she’s pregnant.” A triumphant voice blurts out what I didn’t want anyone to know. Hyde couldn’t keep his mouth shut.

The stunned silence is broken by Drummer’s direct question to me. “This right? You’re not leadin’ a brother on?”

Heart chuckles above me. “It’s Marc who doesn’t believe it, she’s still in denial, but I made sure she got checked out by a doctor.” He rubs my stomach. “What she’s got in here is mine, and I ain’t gonna have anyone questionin’ it.”

I twist my head around. “Heart.”

“Shush, hon. Everythin’s gonna be alright.”

“Hate to tell ya this, Brother. But that right there isn’t a baby, it’s a fuckin’ dog.”

There’s shouts and hollers as the biker at the back yells out his joke. Stunned as I am, even I feel a small smile playing at my lips.

“Shut the fuck up, Joker,” Heart growls.

Drummer’s old lady steps up beside him, her brow is creased, and for once she doesn’t sound friendly. “You said you couldn’t have children.”

“Sam,” Heart says sharply.

At the same time as Drummer admonishes his old lady. “Darlin’, leave it for now, okay?”

There’s an air of tension, an atmosphere you could cut with a knife. “That stayin’ too?” Drummer points at the bundle in my arms.

“Yes.” It’s the first time I’ve spoken.

Drummer rolls back his head, the ceiling appearing to have answers, then brings his head back down and says, “You and I need to have words, Marcia.”

Heart’s arms tighten. “She’s had a fuck of a day, Drummer. Can we leave it tonight, get her rested?”

Again I turn my head to Heart. While I feel safe as he keeps me close, I can’t easily forget or forgive the hateful things that he’s said, both today and that evening two months ago. I promised myself I’d never get close to anyone, and he’s only confirmed what happens when I weaken and let someone in. I don’t, can’t, depend on him. I don’t know if I’m still in danger now I’m not able to investigate any more, but if there’s a risk, there’s apparently more than just me to think about now. I might be safer here on the compound, or at least continue to have the protection of a prospect. And for that, I need Drummer on my side. Let’s face it, there’s no one else.

“I’m alright, Heart. I’ll speak to Drummer.”

“Want in on that, Prez.”

“No.” Drummer sounds adamant as he refuses Heart’s request. “Wraith. You come with.” Still they’re being careful about talking alone in front of even an ex-cop.

As the president continues to stare at Heart in challenge, at last Heart’s arms loosen around me. Stepping forward, I immediately miss the warmth at my back.

“Leave…” Drummer seems at a loss for words as he jerks his chin toward the bundle I’m still holding.

“Grunt.”

“Well fuck me.” The first grin comes to his face but slides away just as quickly. “Leave Grunt here.”

Heart takes the pup from me, his nod and the way he’s rubbing behind the pup’s ears tells me I can trust him with my new dog. And then as Drummer turns and Wraith steps up to his side, I follow them into the president’s office.

Drummer shuts the door behind him and takes his seat behind the large desk. My eyes look behind him to the large Satan’s Devils logo hanging on the wall, ensuring I can’t forget where I am. A shiver runs down my spine. As far as they’re concerned, I’m a cop, in the office of the president of an OMG.

Those piercing grey eyes seem to see right through me. “What do you know about our club?” His tone is chilling, no comfort there.

I raise my shoulders then lower them, understanding what he’s asking. “Not a lot.” I pause, but it will come as no news to them. “The police think you should be disbanded, but otherwise I haven’t learned anything at all. Apart from slurs on your characters, and a general warning to look out for you, there’s no particular interest in the Satan’s Devils.”

I haven’t told them anything they don’t know already. Exchanging glances with Wraith, Drummer’s attention turns back to me. “Okay, time for a bit of a history lesson. “Club was started in the early seventies by my old man and a few of his friends after they came back from the Vietnam War. They were young, disillusioned, had seen war at its worst and the kickback against it here. They didn’t return to recognition as heroes, and had no support for the PTSD that they suffered, as was usually the case back in those days.”

It’s a common story I nod. Even the fallen weren’t honoured until the end of the decade.

“Society didn’t want them, so they settled into living outside of your citizen ways.” Drummer’s mouth twists as he remembers. “I was born into the club. Prospected along with my brothers, earned my place as a member. A few didn’t make the grade, some did. Things were more violent then, we earned money different ways. Whatever you learned of OMGs,” Drum spits the term law enforcement uses, “in your training applied more to the sort of club my father, as president, ran. Drugs, guns, and prostitution. Something needed to change, no doubt about that. The original members began to die off, some from old age, some from bullets.

“I and a few of my brothers wanted change from within. The new generation started to build slowly. And we were making good progress, until a new member arrived.”

I start to get a feeling I’m not going to like what he says. There’s a reason he’s going over old ground.

“The sting operation was a long one. Smart, his name was. He’d shown from the start he’d got some intelligence, college degree and all.” Drummer taps his fingers against his mouth. “I was beginning to think once he patched in that I’d get him on the side of the reformers.”

Now he stands up, as though the memories are too hard to talk about sitting down and relaxed. I say nothing to interrupt him.

“Once the fucker got his patch we brought him to the table. Let him in on every fuckin’ thing we were doing.”

“He was a plant.” It’s obvious.

“Yeah. He was a fuckin’ snitch.” His eyes meet mine, and not in a good way. “We got word something was going down at the strip club, the one we owned before Angels. Me and some of the boys, Beef, Digger, Peg, Dollar, Viper, and Tongue, who was still a prospect then, had gone to see what was going on. Fuckin’ cops were all over it, pullin’ it apart. Pullin’ us apart once we arrived. But we’d all got clean records and permits to carry concealed. Apart from our affiliation with the club, there was nothin’ to hold us on. But we spent a few nights in your jail while they tried their hardest to pin something on us.”

Wraith also stands, as if to give his president support.

“When we got out, well, we found a few changes. They’d raided the compound, fuck knows what really went on. Three brothers arrested, eight others dead. Including Bastard.” He pauses and looks straight at me. “Bastard, my father.” Another second of silence. “The clubhouse was burned to the ground.”

Oh my God. My hand covers my mouth. No wonder they don’t like the police. It’s surprising they even let me onto the compound. “When was this, Drummer? And have you still got members in prison?”

I swear his eyes glisten as he turns to me. “It was fourteen years ago now. And no, they were got to and murdered. All the old timers are gone, except for those of us who went to sort out the strip club.” He stops speaking and rubs his eyes. “Some of the sweet butts were caught in the crossfire. When we had brothers still alive, I visited them in prison, heard the story. My mother had tried to protect her ol’ man.”

Christ. It was a massacre. “You just carried on?”

His fist hits the table. “We didn’t just fuckin’ carry on. We had nothin’. No home, zilch. All we had was each other. We’d all lost family, by blood or by brotherhood. Took us a while to reassemble again. Couple of us bunked down at the strip club, and gradually the others came back, and that became our temporary home. Then, at last, this place came up. Dollar and Viper had a construction business, came in handy doing this up. Rebuilt the chapter piece by fuckin’ piece. Cleaned up the club, wrote new bylaws. Got the other chapters on board. No one wanted another raid like that one.”

“And all because they had a rat in the club.” Wraith spells it out to me, in case I’d missed the point.”

There we have it. Last time they didn’t know they had brought an undercover cop into the compound. No wonder they’re suspicious about me.

“I’m sorry about your parents, Drummer. And the other men who were lost. But I’m not a cop any longer, and I’m not here to spy on what you do.” I think about the situation for a moment. “If the cops wanted to infiltrate you, don’t you think they’d send in a man? I know you don’t divulge your business to the women in the club.”

Again his hand raps down on the table. “If you stay in the club, you’ll hear things that you shouldn’t. Yeah, we protect our women from the worst of it, but stuff does get out. I run a clean club, Detective Hannah, but the way we go about it is different to than in your world. Anyone, any-fuckin’-one crosses us, then we put them in the ground.”

It’s a dire warning. The cop part of me wants to arrest them, but there’s a piece of me attracted to the idea of swift retribution and not letting the bad guys walk. Like the truck driver who took my family from me. I’d dreamed about taking him out, but as a law-abiding citizen, that was beyond me.

“I’m not a detective. I don’t carry a badge anymore. And I mean no harm to the club.” But I would say that, wouldn’t I? How the hell can I convince them.

Drummer takes his seat. He must have been young to take on the president’s role, no wonder he’s tough. Having lost so many brothers in his past explains how intent he is now. He stares at me, his gaze unwavering. “Smart thought he’d got away clean. That no one suspected him. But then I met Mouse, and he found him.”

Mouse, their computer expert. I nod, realising how this story is going to end. “You took him out for what he’d done to your brothers and family.”

He doesn’t admit it, but his silence tells me a lot. If I’d been a man brought up in a violent way of life, that truck driver wouldn’t still be breathing.

“So tell me, Marcia Hannah. How come you say you’re unemployed? If you’re going to be stayin’ on the compound—and at the moment, I tell you, that’s the last risk I want to take—you’re gonna have to give me somethin’ so I can trust you.” His tone is guarded.

I swallow, going back over everything I know about outlaw motorcycle gangs. Of course they’re afraid of being infiltrated by the enemy. What better cover than to come back as an old lady, pregnant with a brother’s child? If I was in his position I would be skeptical too, particularly given what the club had experienced. Whatever Heart feels about me, however friendly I had become with the women, I’m sitting in front of the man who holds my life in his hands. And now it’s not just me.

“Why did you allow me to stay before?”

His head tilts to one side. “We had you locked down with Heart. It was only temporary. While you were here we made sure to keep our hands clean. But from the look on my brother’s face, he wants this to be permanent. And that’s far more dangerous.” He sits up straight. “Not plannin’ on breakin’ the law, but who knows what’s around the corner? We protect our own with everything we’ve got.”

And I’m not one of theirs. My hand rubs my stomach with the little miracles inside. How can I convince him? I could try telling the truth. “You want to know why I’ve lost my job?”

He leans back and folds his arms. “I’m listenin’.”

“You’ve heard of the case of the missing children in Tucson?”

A slight jerk of his chin to show that he has.

“That’s the case I’ve been working on.” I swallow again as a bad taste comes into my mouth. Heart had turned up before I’d had time to process everything that happened to me this morning, and I still barely understand it myself. “I was partnered with Garza and, well, he set me up. Made it look like I leaked information, when he’d told me himself I should give it to the press. He denied it, of course. Sergeant Reynolds had been looking for a chance to get rid of me, and he took it.”

“Seems a bit weak. One mistake and you’re out?” His eyes blaze into me, full of mistrust.

I nod in agreement. “Garza’s apparently been providing reports about how bad I am at my job. All trumped up. I am, was, a good detective.”

“Sounds like you could fight it. If you’re tellin’ the truth.”

I raise and lower my head. “I could… I could get the union involved. I do good work, Drummer. That’s how I got my promotion to detective. But you’re already aware both Garza and Reynolds have had it in for me. And my suspicions that they’re not straight. However I try to justify myself, they’ll cook something up to make me look bad. Best I could expect is to be demoted, and I don’t want that. I worked hard to get where I am.” I close my eyes briefly then open them again. “And of course, there’s the attempts on my life.” I sigh and wipe my hand over my face. “They wanted me out of the way, which would confirm I’ve been looking in places they don’t want me to go.”

“You think Reynolds and Garza are the ones tryin’ to kill ya?”

That I can’t be certain, but, “Probably not directly, they wouldn’t get their hands dirty. But I think they’re feeding information to the people who are.”

Now his VP enters the conversation with a direct question. “So where have you been lookin’? What have you found that they don’t like?”

I should be keeping my mouth shut, not telling them anything. I look from one to the other before coming to a decision. I won’t be dropping this case, even though I’m now unemployed. And maybe, just maybe, there’s a way to get the outlaws on my side. With a sigh I start talking. “As I said, I’m looking into the cases of the missing children. Trying to find a pattern, looking for something which they weren’t spotting. Oh, watching the TV you’d think the police are doing everything they can. But they’re not.”

“Accordin’ to you.”

“According to me,” I agree.

“You think they’re coverin’ for someone?” Drummer’s sharp eyes get straight to it. “You think they’re getting paid? And kids are going missin’ and they’re doing fuck all to stop it?”

At my nod Drummer pushes back his chair and rests his foot against the table. His eyes go to Wraith’s, and after a second they come back to me. “Okay, if I buy the story that you’ve been dismissed under false circumstances, where do you go from here? You gonna be tryin’ to get back your job?”

I haven’t thought that far yet. Too much else has happened today. “I don’t know,” I reply honestly. “But whether I’m working or not, whether what happened was unfair dismissal doesn’t hide the fact there are kids out there hurting. That’s what I want to stop, Drummer.”

My impassioned plea seems to get to him. His eyes gentle, his hand waves to my stomach. “And, what’s all this about?”

My hands seem to move of their own accord, covering the place where babies are supposed to be. “Another shock,” I admit. Tears come to my eyes as Drummer’s eyes sharpen. “I was told after my accident that I’d never conceive.” I try to put the events of the afternoon into words. “It sounds so stupid, but I’ve been tired, nauseous in the mornings. I put it down to the stress of my job.”

“When did you tell Heart you were pregnant?”

A laugh escapes my lips. “I didn’t. Hyde must have noticed something. He didn’t speak about it to me, but must have said something to Heart. First thing I knew about it was Heart throwing pregnancy tests at me.” Tears come to my eyes as I remember the awful things that he’d said. “If Hyde hadn’t blurted it out, Heart had agreed we wouldn’t have said anything. If I really am pregnant, I don’t know…”

“If?”

I take the photo out of my purse. “That bean there, that’s shows I’m supposed to be.” I trace the shape then slide the picture over the desk. Drummer looks at it carefully before sliding it back. Reverently I place it back in my purse. I haven’t admitted to an educated eye, it shows twins, still convinced I’ll lose one or both of them. “Drummer, it wasn’t my idea to come back to the compound. That I’m apparently pregnant and that Heart is the father wasn’t planned. And…” I pause, wondering how to say this. “The whole thing’s ridiculous. Heart’s not the man for me.”

“He seems to think that he is.”

Shaking my head, wondering how the man who’s got a Jekyll and Hyde personality toward me could ever be a permanent fixture in my life, I refute it. “It’s what I’m supposed to be carrying he wants, not me.”

“You don’t know much about Heart, do ya, darlin’?” I think I know all that I need to, but before I can answer he continues. “Heart changed when he lost Crystal. Did things I’d never have expected.”

I can see, understand that. I’d been a part of his life for almost a year.

“Thing is, darlin’. I’ve not seen the man that I knew before his accident reappear until tonight. That man, his arms around you and that fuckin’ mutt? That’s the real Heart right there.” He breaks off and again studies me. “Something’s happened, like a switch being thrown. It’s been more than a year now since he lost his wife. A man can’t grieve forever. He offered to choose you over the club, that means one fuck of a lot in our world. But I don’t think you’ve seen too much of the man that he was. Glimpses, perhaps, but not the whole package. If I allow you stay on the compound, I think you should give him a chance.”

That’s not what I expected him to say, and I’m not sure it’s what I want to do. “It’s better, Drummer, after everything you’ve told me, if I don’t stay. Easier for you and for me.” I swallow a couple of times, knowing they owe me nothing. “I won’t take Heart away from the club, but I’m scared. Especially now.” I glance down at my stomach then back up. “I’m asking you to consider continuing to provide protection.”

Another glance at his VP. Wraith hasn’t said anything, but has been following the conversation carefully. He raises his chin at Drummer, as if answering an unspoken question. Drummer nods back and changes the direction of the conversation without saying whether he’s going to help me or not.

“Thing is, Marcia. We’ve got things in common. This case of the missin’ children ain’t settlin’ well with me either.” He replaces his foot on the floor and pulls his chair forward. “Your cop friends ain’t helpin’ ya, or lettin’ you follow your head. You got thoughts on what’s goin’ on… Well, I want to hear them.”

That again, is not what I expect him to say.

With a heartfelt sigh, Drummer places his steely gaze on me again. “Far as I can see it, there are two choices. Either we take a risk and let you stay on the compound, workin’ with us to put this fuckin’ case to bed and find those kids, or if nothin’ else, find out what’s happened to them to give their fuckin’ parents some closure. Or, we cut ties, send you out, and you fend for yourself.”

That’s no choice. If they’re going to be looking for the children, I want to be there alongside them. But there’s problems with staying here. “Heart?”

Drummer shrugs. “He’s claimed ya. You’re his ol’ lady whether you like it or not. On the compound or off by the sound of it.”

That’s a rather misogynistic approach and it makes me bristle. I take a moment to think. He is the father of my babies, and together or not, we will need to sort through how this will work. I’d never stop a man from seeing his children.

Drummer sees my indecision and adds more to persuade me. “If we let you stay, you’ll be protected. Safe to assume you’ve got folks still after ya, ‘specially if you keep workin’ the case.”

Another shiver down my spine. My thoughts repeating themselves. It’s not just me anymore.

Wraith looks at me, his expression almost as chilling as his president’s. “I’m leaning towards believin’ what you’re sayin’. But the club learned from what happened with Smart. We don’t trust easily.”

“Darlin’?” The word might be an endearment, the tone it’s delivered in means it’s not. “Stayin’ here carries its own risk. Cross us, and they won’t find your body.”

I don’t intend to cross them. Not knowingly anyway. My hands rub my stomach, my head still not quite believing, but what started as a fuck-up of a day is ending in ways I could never have predicted. And it’s those missing children that I want to help, knowing Drummer’s concerned too—and seemingly more than the cops—and in the end I know what option I prefer.

I give a small smile then a nod. But there’s one last thing to ask. “Okay, you’ve persuaded me. If you let me, I’ll stay at the compound.” Then I remember what else I’ve acquired, and add, “What about Grunt?”

“Fuck me. If we decide you can stay, that fuckin’ pooch can too,” Drummer grumbles, a small smile softens his face for an instant until he returns to looking stern once more. He jerks his head toward his VP. “We’ve got things we need to think about and discuss. Stay close to Heart tonight, and we’ll let you know our decision when it’s been made.”