Yesterday, Nico and I went for the first time together to visit Ruby’s grave. I may not have known how she would have turned out in life, but I can imagine. We stopped by Dad’s, and I changed out the flowers and stuck a couple of paint brushes in there in case he needs them where he is.

We brought our lunch there, and I did some headstone rubbings at a couple of new graves. Nico brought his guitar and played a song for anyone out there who was listening.

Nico and I have been spending practically every day together, since we do happen to live next door.  We’ve both changed in ways that make the relationship better than it ever was.

I’m at the airport waiting for Jessie to arrive with Henry. The place is packed, and I had a brief meltdown not knowing how to get here. I parked in some money saving lot and had to take a bus here from there.

Then I got inside and had no idea where to go. I asked around a lot, but I’m here and holding up a sign for Jessie. This was her request, not mine. She wants to feel like a celebrity when she arrives with someone holding her name on a big poster board. 

So, here I am. The only one holding up a sign, as people from the plane make their way out to meet whoever they came here to meet.

I’m watching some people walk by. Some are not meeting anyone, and others are hugging people. I don’t see her, but I hear her screeching through the entire airport. I turn my head in the direction of the scream, and she flies toward me with her blonde hair flapping everywhere.

Her arms wrap around me, and she squeezes me. “I can’t believe I’m back!” She releases me and turns to find Henry. He’s several feet back, walking our way. He didn’t take the opportunity to run at me and screech. That would have been interesting.

“Henry, come on, we’re missing precious time.” Jessie waves him over.

He gives me a warm smile. “I’m glad to meet you finally. I hear about you all the time. With all the texting Jessie does with you, I feel like we already know each other.”

Henry is tall with dark, smooth skin, and the best-looking cheekbones I have ever seen. I’m a little jealous about that. “I know. I see your pictures all the time, so it seems like I’m meeting someone I already know. It’s kind of weird,” I laugh.

We talk for a few minutes, and then I remember Violet. “Oh, I have a surprise for you.” I take out my phone and call her.

“This better be good.” She claps her hands together, and I turn the phone around to face her as soon as Violet pops up on the screen.

I shimmy around, so we can both see her. Violet is sitting there waiting for one of us to say something first.

“Violet!” Jessie screams.

Violet covers her ears and gives us a grin. “You think I would be used to all the fan’s reactions by now.” Her hair is still cut in a bob, except with light purple color covered in darker purple streaks this time. “You look good, Jessie.” Jessie keeps waving with excitement.

“Hey, Violet, we’re right on time,” I say.

“I already talk to you all the time, May. Where’s this fiancé?” I swivel the phone and show her Henry’s face.

“Hello,” his voice is deep, and he smiles a big smile.

“Not a big talker, but you’re quite the looker. I’m impressed. You know, I remember Jessie’s taste in boys, and I’m glad to see this part of her life has greatly improved.” Henry shoots Jessie and me a look, like “What is this girl talking about?”

I move the phone from Henry back to us. “It’s us again.”

“I have to go. I’m on a time crunch. Let’s do this again sometime.” Violet points at the clock behind her.

We tell each other bye and then hang up the phone.

“Do you guys want to rest for a while or what?” I fold up the sign and stuff it back in my bag.

Henry takes out his phone and looks at the time. “We still need to pick up the car and check in at the hotel. Then after that, it’s up to you two.” He grasps Jessie’s hand and gives it a light squeeze.

Jessie gives Henry a quick kiss, and I look away during their cutesy moment. She turns her head from his and looks at me. “Bookstore? I want to see my old place of employment, and I want to see Nico.”

When I told her Nico and I were together again, I think she was more excited than I was. For the first week, she kept texting me to send pictures of us together. Most of the time I took a quick picture of us in the apartment and sent it to her. She would act like I just sent her a work of art each time.

We decide to meet at the bookstore after they are checked into their hotel.

Before they leave, I turn back around. “Oh, by the way, Mom is making dinner tonight and wanted to know if you two wanted to come?”

“Please tell me it’s lasagna. Please tell me it’s lasagna.” I laugh because her hands are clasped together like she’s praying.

“It’s lasagna.”

“My prayers have been answered,” she cheers to herself.

I shake my head and put my phone back in my bag. Luckily, I don’t get lost finding the bus stop back to the parking lot, but I have to wait for about ten minutes before mine arrives.                            

 

Me: We’re going to stop by the bookstore in a little while. Is that okay?

Nico: It is a public store.

Me: You’re in charge. You could deny our entrance.

Nico: Now, why ever would I do that?

Me: Are you smiling right now?

Nico: Maybe?

Me: Me too.

I tuck the phone back in my bag when the bus makes its way to my stop.

Instead of going home, I decide to stop by work, until Jessie sends me a text letting me know they’re on their way. When I walk inside, I tell the receptionist hello and let her know I’m going to Mom’s office.

I walk down the long hallway until I reach Mom. I see her absorbed in her work, and I jump through the doorway. “Hey!”                            

“Geez, May. Are you trying to give me a heart attack?” She has her hand on her chest.

“I wanted to stop by and let you know Jessie and Henry will be over for dinner.” I walk in and take a seat at the chair in front of her desk.

“Great. I remember how lasagna was always her favorite. She would eat half the casserole dish every time. How was Henry?” Mom straightens up a stack of papers on her desk.

I reach for a pen and twirl it in my fingers. “He’s quiet and polite. The opposite of Jessie.” I grin.

“Opposites do attract. Well, some of the time. Is Nico coming, too?” She finishes messing with the papers.

“All I said was the word lasagna, and he said he was in.” I place the pen back in Mom’s jar.

When I told Mom that Nico and I were back together, she was happy about it. Mom was still concerned about me, and she told me even though I was twenty, she still had to go over the whole sex talk again. It was awkward, but I let her so she would feel better.

Mom did start dating Eric, and they’re taking things slowly. He seems good for her. Maybe it will work out or maybe it won’t, but at least she’s doing what she wants to do.

Mom and I talk until I get Jessie’s text.

Jessie: We’re leaving now.

Me: See you in a few.

Leaving Mom’s office, I drive to the bookstore. I step out of my car when Jessie and Henry pull into the parking lot, and we all walk into the store together.

When we get inside, Henry goes off to look at the History section. Jessie turns to me. “He’s a big book fan. Especially history and things like that. I’m usually like, books? What are those conspicuous, bright, white pages? Not that all pages are white, but you get the idea.”

We walk down a row of books. “But you worked at the bookstore.”

“I like the look of books, but I get distracted too easily when I try to read anything more than a chapter.” She grips my arm and stops me. “Is that John?”

I spot John, who I saw not too long ago when I brought Nico lunch. He looks more put together than he used to. He cut all his hair off, and he dresses a lot better now. He still plays drums, and he and Nico have jam sessions with a few other guys every now and then.

“Yeah, that’s him.”

“What was I thinking? He looked so much better before.” I don’t have a response to that, so I do a weird tilt of my head back.

We talk to John for a few minutes, and he invites Jessie and me to go to a jam session he has in a couple of weeks. Jessie tells him that she will be gone with her fiancé by then. I let him know that I’ll be there, though.

“I had to let him know I would be leaving with my fiancé because he was already trying to ask me on a date,” Jessie whines.

I laugh. Some parts of her are still the same and reading John wrong is one of them. He has a girlfriend who he has been dating for years, and Nico said they’re very serious.

We find Henry still in the History section with five books in his hands that he plans on purchasing. I leave them there and find Nico in the back. He’s sorting through boxes of books and looks cute doing it.

I press my shoulder against the trim of the door. “Hey.”

He turns around and stops what he’s doing, giving me a big grin. “You know you can help me if you want?”

“For free?” I tease.

“I’ll make it up to you.” Taking out a stack of books, he sets them against the wall.

“With white chocolate?” My eyes are pleading as I walk to help him unload the box.

“What other way would I be talking about?” He stands and backs me into the wall, and I’m not resisting him at all. His face is full of want.

“Cheese balls?” I shrug and give him an innocent look.

I lean forward, and he meets me halfway with his mouth. I give him a kiss that I meant to be quick, but it immediately escalates into much more time.

“Did I interrupt sexy time?” Jessie’s voice calls from the doorway.

We both groan and pull back, but Nico leaves his arms around my waist.

“Well, we still have our clothes on, so I wouldn’t qualify it as sexy time.” I brush my hair away from my face.

Jessie turns around and waves Henry in. “Henry, the coast is clear come on.”

Henry strolls in and looks around awkwardly like he heard we were in here naked, which Jessie probably told him that she bet we were in here naked.

We stand around and talk for about an hour, and then get ready to leave.

“We’ll see you tonight at your Mom’s,” Jessie calls.

“I better get going, too. I’m going to help get the food ready at Mom’s house.” I have been working with Mom a little on my cooking skills. I give Nico a hug and start to walk off.

Nico pulls me backward by the back of my shirt like I knew he would. He gives me a proper kiss goodbye, and my heart inflates.

***

Nico told me he had a surprise for me today, and I have been contemplating all day what it could be. I'm pretty sure it has to be food of some kind because he said he hoped I would be absolutely thrilled.

I'm sitting on our futon in our now shared apartment.

We'll eventually get a couch, but there are too many good memories over the last year. Even with the permanent dips in the metal frame along the bottom. But those spots now just feel extra comfy like my own little personal nest.

I hear the lock turning, and I leap off the couch and dash toward Nico as he walks in, shutting the door behind him.

Throwing my arms around his neck, I practically slam him into the door as I mold my mouth to his.

"Maybe I should tell you I have a gift for you every day," Nico says as he pulls my body flush with his. Honey-colored eyes meet mine, and I give him a huge grin.

"I think you should." I walk backward to the couch, dragging him along with me while running my hands underneath the back of his shirt, meeting warm skin as I kiss along his jaw and neck.

"You have to stop," he whispers against my ear, but by the sound of his voice he doesn't want me to quit, and I don't want to either.

Gently, he pulls away from me at the same time the back of my legs strike the futon. Maybe I should drag him to one of the cloud-like recliners. We haven't used one of those for anything besides sitting.

Nico reaches for my chin and turns my face back to his with an auburn eyebrow shooting straight up.

"What?" I ask while laughter escapes me.

"We can go to the chair if you say yes." Nico smiles playfully while stroking the edge of my hand with his thumb.

"Say yes to what?" I search around the room as if there are question marks with hidden answers behind them.

Nico chews on the edge of his lip looking like he might be shy about something, but then he quickly falls to the ground to one knee. Kneeling before me like a knight.

"Do you want me to knight you with a sword because I will?" I laugh.

His shoulders quake with laughter as he drags my hand to his chest on top of his heart. The beat is rapid against my palm. "Marry me?"

"Wait what?" Did he just ask me to marry him? My heart practically stops then the beats quicken excitedly, and I'm bouncing in my spot.

"Marry me?" He asks again, and his smile is holding hope and maybe a little worry that I will say no, but I would never say no to him. Not about this.

"Yes!" I scream as I drop to the floor, throwing my arms around his neck, knocking him to the ground.

Pulling us back up, Nico sits me in front of him, both of us on our knees against the soft carpet.

"I don't have a ring." He takes my hand again and strokes circles against my palm.

"I don't need one." The only thing I need is him.

"I didn't know your size, and I wanted it to be a surprise."

"It is!"

Nico slides a hand in his pocket and draws out a piece of red yarn. I stare at it as if it's going to do something amazing, and I think it will.

"This is only temporary until we can size you." Lifting my left hand toward him, he separates my ring finger from the others and slowly wraps the red string right below my knuckle with a side grin as he ties the yarn into a bow.

Staring at the string, I smile like it's the greatest gift in the world, and it is.

"I'll never take it off."

"May, I love you." Nico hauls me closer to him.

"I love you, too. Now take me to that chair." I wrap my legs around his waist and my arms around his neck as he lifts me up.

He stumbles all the way to the recliner but makes it there without us crashing to the ground, and I want nothing more than to spend the rest of my life with him.

***

“I think she’s in labor.” Nico is on the phone, as he opens the door for me. It has been six years since Nico and I got back together, and it still feels like yesterday.

“Are we sure this time?” I can hear Violet’s voice on the other end.

Oh, I hope so! I’m already a week late from my due date. This will be the third time this week that I thought I was in labor. The other times we were sent home.

“We sure hope so, but if not we’ll swing by and see you,” Nico says sarcastically.

He hangs up the phone and gets in the car. I feel the contractions ripple across my back and stomach, and I think I’m going to die. “Hurry!”

“I’m trying.” Nico has his hands clenched around the steering wheel.

Violet flew down a week ago and had scheduled the flight around the time of my due date. She probably should have waited until the baby was here. She’s supposed to fly out in another week to start on a big project and has been endlessly telling me the whole week to get this baby out already. I would if I could.

Nico and I have been married for four years now, and about a year ago, we decided to have a baby. When we discussed kids early on, he told me to tell him whenever I was ready. I finally felt ready, and it only took us a few months.

This time when the pregnancy words showed up on the test I was thrilled and scared. The entire time I still had thoughts in the back of my mind of what if the same thing happened as before. I have been trying to stay as positive as possible, but I won’t feel completely relieved until the baby is nestled in my arms.

I find my phone and send Jessie a text before I forget to later.

 

Me: The baby is coming. I’ll text you a picture after.

Jessie and Henry already have a two-year-old girl and a set of twin boys on the way. She only wanted two kids and was freaking out when she heard the word twins mixed with the word boys. She remembered how her Mom always talked about Jessie’s twin brothers being wild. That quickly faded into twin boys being the best thing on Earth.

Nico pulls into the hospital, and I want to roll out on the ground and have the baby right there. I don’t want to walk anymore, but he helps me inside. One of the workers comes out of nowhere with a wheelchair, and I maneuver myself into it.

The pulsations are killing me. When we arrive to the hospital room, I climb on the bed. The nurse checks everything, and it’s all fine. She calls the doctor, says she’s on her way, and that I’ll be having the baby soon. If I had the strength to hop out of bed right now and dance, I would.

The nurse leaves the room, and it’s only me, Nico, and the pain. “Just think of your happiest moment.”

Another wave of pain hits me, and I grit my teeth. “I think my memories have all disappeared.”

Nico grabs my hand. “Mine was our wedding day.”

“Yeah, that was a great day.” I groan and hold onto my stomach. Can this baby come out already?

I try to ignore the agony because the wedding was one of my favorite moments with Nico.

Our wedding was small. We decided to do it where we first met which was the bookstore. John got ordained for the occasion, and he stood behind the sell or trade counter. He has even performed other weddings since ours.

Violet had flown down from New York, and Jessie flew in with Henry. Mom was there with Eric at the time, who is now her husband.

Since my dad couldn’t walk me down the book aisle, I had my mom walk me instead. I wore a white, casual dress that was lacy and cinched at the waist and came down right above my knees.

I put a locket around my neck that Mom let me borrow, and I placed a picture of Dad inside so he was still with me that day. I painted my nails blue for the something blue, and of course, the dress was new.

Violet made me a rose bouquet that was made from paper, and it looked like actual flowers. The colors were bright and spectacular, and I was left speechless.

Nico strummed on his guitar the song from when he first played his guitar for me, and when he played it again through the apartment walls. I walked down the aisle with my arm laced through Mom’s. She was already crying, but I was smiling.

Jessie, Henry, and Eric were on one side standing, while Violet, Tim, and Charlotte were on the other.

When Mom released me, I came to stand by Nico, and he set down his guitar, holding my hands in his. The rest of the ceremony was perfect, and I knew I wanted my lifetime to be spent with Nico.

I feel nostalgic and happy, but then the worst contraction hits me. At the same time, the doctor steps in the room and walks toward me. It’s time, and I push when the nurse tells me to, and I think I’m done. I stop and then the nurse tells me to do it again, this happens several times, and I want to yell at the nurse. Then the doctor finally pulls the baby out. The baby begins to wail, and I feel relieved.

It’s a boy as the ultrasound tech told us the baby was going to be. The nurse swaddles him up and lies him in my arms, and he’s perfect. He has Nico’s mouth and nose, and my brown hair. I turn my head to Nico who is smiling at the baby and me. His eyes are glistening, and he swipes at them.

This moment is miraculous. I love Nico. I love River Eugene, and I’m going to love our life together, through ups and downs.