Chapter Six
Ceit was aware the men worried she would slow them down, but she had spent almost as much time on horseback as she had on her feet before arriving at court.
“Have ye both forgotten I am a Highlander just as ye are. I can ride just fine.” She threw a wicked glance at Tavish as she spurred her horse on. “Mayhap better.”
Her horse, Whisky, had not been out for a proper run in the weeks she was at court. Ceit was allowed to take him for a ride, but she had to remain on the royal grounds which were not large in the city of Sterling. It was frowned upon for her to ride out past the city, and she only rode sidesaddle which she detested. Ceit experienced a sense of freedom when she leaned low over Whisky’s withers, the wind rushing past them. She expertly maneuvered him around a rut in the road and over a log that stuck out from the underbrush. She wanted to whoop and holler, but she did not want to test her luck with Tavish. He had been watching her like a hawk since they rode out of the city gates.
He is worse than a brood hen. And that scowl. Bluidy hell, it will stick if he doesnae relax. He looks constipated.
Ceit laughed to herself as Whisky carried her further down the road. She would not run him into a lather, but she gave him his head.
She was enjoying herself so much that she did not notice the other set of pounding hooves until they were upon them. Tavish reached out and grabbed her bridle and pulled both horses to a halt. He vaulted from his horse and was pulling her out of the saddle before she figured out just how upset he was. He tossed her over his shoulder, and she saw Magnus trying not to laugh.
“Put. Me. Down. How dare ye humiliate me in front of yer brother? I amnae a sack of potatoes. I amnae—” Tavish cut her off when he gave her a smack on her backside. It was not enough to hurt, it barely registered through her skirts, but it was the indignity that had her pounding her fists on his back and her legs swinging. He clamped his arm around her calves.
“Cease yer tantrum, and I will put ye down. I dinna need ye hurting yerself, and I dinna want ye running off into the woods.”
“I’m having a tantrum? Just what would ye call yer behavior? Ye might have hurt Whisky by pulling him to a stop like that. And I wouldnae leave ma horse to yer care. He’s the most precious thing I own.”
“Whisky?”
“Aye, ma horse.”
Tavish stopped short and lowered the hissing wildcat to the ground. He prepared to duck if she swung at him, but instead she spun on her heels and marched back to the road.
“And just where are ye going? I amnae finished with ye.”
“Ye insufferable little man,” she hissed.
He grabbed her forearm and pulled her to his chest before she said anything more.
“What did ye just say?” he ground out.
Ceit paused for a moment bewildered and then her face showed that she did not recall what she said. She had just spoken out of anger.
“I dinna even remember. I was just so furious with ye that it poured out of ma mouth.” She took in his tense form and perceived this was not about her riding her horse. Not right now, at least. There was something about calling him insufferable and little that had riled him further.
That makes nay sense. Why would it bother him when he clearly isnae little? Perhaps it was the insufferable part, but he must ken he is just that.
“Ye called me an insufferable little man. What did ye mean by little?”
Ceit looked at him in disbelief.
It really is the word little that has him in a temper. I scared him before since he’s never seen me ride, but this is anger born from something else. I dinna ken what to say.
“It’s just my estimation of ye has gone down when ye behave like this. It’s so arrogant and high handed, but it’s obvious to anybody ye are the furthest thing from little. I dinna understand why that would bother ye,” her voice trailed off.
Tavish released her and ran his hand through his hair. He overreacted, but the notion that she might consider him as less than a man sent pain coursing through him. He had lashed out.
“Ye just stumbled upon a sore spot for me, and I overreacted about yer comment.” He was sure to qualify his statement. He was sure he had not overreacted about trying to keep her from breaking her neck riding like a bat out of hell.
“I still dinna understand. Ye are nae little. Ye’re one of the biggest men I have ever seen. Only Magnus is bigger than ye, and that’s only because he has a different build. I dinna ken why ye would even pay attention to that part. Shouldnae ye be more insulted that I called ye insufferable?”
“That doesnae bother me as I ken I can be insufferable. I am the shortest of the four of us. Ma brothers have always made fun of me for it. It rankles even now, and the idea that--,” he was not sure he wanted to admit his insecurity to her.
Ceit looked at Tavish and saw a vulnerability she never imagined he possessed. She stepped closer to him and slid her hands up his chest to his shoulders.
“Tell me. Please? I want to understand,” she whispered.
“I feared when ye said that, that ye see me as a lesser mon. That I amnae mon enough.”
Ceit pulled back and stared at him as though he sprouted a second head.
“Ye canna be serious,” but she comprehended he was when he did not smile even a little.
“Tav, ye arenae a lesser mon. I told ye, ye are one of the largest men I have ever seen. But it’s more than that. I dinna ken how to explain it. I sense it when I’m around ye. If anything, I rather like how large ye are. I’m tall for a woman, and ye make me appear almost tiny when ye’re near. When ye holds me like this.”
Tavish looked into her eyes and saw interest. She tilted her head to look into his eyes, but it also put her head in a better position to kiss her. He swooped in and pressed his lips against hers. He was more insistent than the first time. She opened to him. She mewled as his tongue slid past her teeth. Instinct had her sucking it. Tavish growled and walked her backwards until her back brushed against the trunk of a solid maple. He was ready to maul her, and his conscience almost did not speak enough to stop him. His cock ached to thrust inside her, and it pulsed behind his sporran. He craved a taste and suspected that she would be wet for him if he slid his hand between her thighs.
I’m marrying the lass. Why canna I bring us both a little pleasure? It isnae as though I’d be compromising her when she is already mine. Ye canna because she doesnae ken. She will already be madder than a hive of bees when she finds out. If she decides ye took advantage of her, she may never speak to ye again. It’ll be a cold marriage bed with only ye in it.
“Ceit, I have to tell ye something.”
“Hmm?”
Her eyes were glazed with newfound passion. She looked at him in a haze, and he watched her float back down to Earth.
“Tavish, I’ve been riding since I learned to walk. I wasna doing aught that would put me or Whisky in danger. I ken I must have scared ye, and for that I am sorry. It wasna ma intention. I havenae had any opportunity to ride like that since I arrived at court.”
It took Tavish a moment to remember that it was her breakneck riding that caused him to drag her into the woods.
“It isnae that. Though I amnae thrilled aboot it, but I will concede that ye are a vera skilled horsewoman. Ceit, I have to tell ye something else. Something I amnae sure will please ye. Will ye promise to listen to me before ye storm away?”
Ceit saw vulnerability again, but this time, there was sheepishness blended in. Her gut clenched as a realization washed over her.
“Dear God! Are ye married? Do ye already have a wife?”
“What? Nay! Of course, nae. I wouldnae be standing here lusting after ma own bride if I was already wed.”
Tavish did not realize what he said until he watched the color drain from her face.
“Ye said I am yer what? What did ye just call me?”
“Shite,” Tavish ran his hand over his face before looking at her again. “Ma father sent me to court nae only to check on Magnus but to meet the betrothed the king arranged for me. The first time I saw ye and even touched ye, I didna ken who ye were. I only kenned something attracted me to ye. It wasna until ma first meal with ma aunt and uncle I learned who ye were.”
“Ye didna consider telling me? Nae one opportunity arose for ye to mention I’m to become yer chattel?”
“Chattel? Ye arenae and never will be chattel. I would have ye as ma wife, ma partner. I dinna own anyone, and I amnae aboot to start.”
“But ye dinna have much regard for me if ye have had this information and kept it from me. What kind of partnership is that?” she threw back at him.
“I wanted ye to want me like I want ye, dammit.” Tavish was not even sure if that made sense, but it was what his soul yearned for from the moment his aunt clued him into Ceit’s identity.
“Ye arenae making any sense. What does it matter whether ye want me or nae if the king has decreed it? And I would say ye have made it clear ye do want me. At least for one thing.” She hugged her arms around her middle.
“Dinna. Dinna ever sell yerself short again,” Tavish’s voice was soft, but Ceit sensed the steel. It almost sounded like a threat if she did not recognize he was sincere in his belief of her worth.
“I dinna understand.”
“Tavish isnae behaving well! He’s nipping at the lass’s horse!” Magnus called from the road.
“Och hell,” he muttered before calling back, “give us a moment. Tie the daft beast up if ye must.”
Tavish looked back down at Ceit. He wanted to brush the hair from her cheek but was not sure she would welcome his touch. He lifted his fingers but paused before touching her. He was giving her the chance to stop him. She closed her eyes and nodded. He brushed her hair away and the tear that slid from under her lid.
“It hurts like ye lied. That all of this was a lie. Were ye laughing behind ma back? Enjoying that yer already bride was throwing herself at yer feet.”
“God, nay. Ceit, it was never ever like that. Just the opposite. I have been so relieved. I feared that the king would force me to marry someone who was unwilling. I dinna ever want an unwilling wife. I would never force maself on her, and I dinna want that with ye. If ye are unhappy aboot this match, I will write to ma father. He holds sway with the king. He willna force either us into an unhappy marriage. I may even convince the king since I am his godson.”
Ceit’s eyes opened.
“Ye’re his what? Damn, I seem to say what quite a lot. Ye just have me so stunned.”
“The king was at the christening of all of us, all ma brothers, ma sister, and me.”
“He’s nae vera likely to give in if I ask to be released from this agreement. He contends he’s doing well by ye.”
“Ceit, is that what ye want? Do ye want to be released?”
A lump rose in his throat, and he caught himself holding his breath.
“Nay. I just dinna like being trapped. It’s been that way the entire time I’ve been at court. It was that way when I found out I was being sent there. I dinna want to imagine it being this way for the rest of ma life.”
Tavish ran his hands up and down her arms then tucked her head under his chin as he embraced her.
“Ceit, I’m sorry. This is nae how I intended for ye to find out. I dinna ken if there would have ever been a right time to tell ye. I didna mean to hurt ye or trick ye. I wanted to be sure ye would marry me because it’s what ye want and nae what ye are forced to do.”
“Ye would try to convince the king to release us if that is what I wished?”
“Of course.”
“And if it isnae what I want? I mean if I amnae sure yet what I want?”
“Then we take our time to get to ken each other and see if we suit.”
Ceit rubbed her forehead. A headache was coming on, and she longed for them to make camp. She longed to brew one of her own tinctures.
“This is so confusing, Tavish. One moment I’m riding merrily along, the next ye’ve hiked me over yer shoulder and are marching into the woods to scold me. Then ye’re kissing me and telling me I’m to marry ye. It’s a wee much to take in.”
“Mo leannan, I ken. I am sorry to have lied by omission. I was selfish, and I ken that. But I wouldnae trade any of our moments together, and I fear they wouldnae happen if ye kenned we were to marry.”
“Mayhap, yes, but mayhap, nay. Either way, I wouldnae trade them either. I need time to adjust to getting married. I assume ye had the entire ride to court to adjust to the idea. It seems ye were relieved when ye discovered who I am. I havenae been given that luxury.”
“I dinna ken what else to say but I’m sorry.”
“There isnae aught more to say. Time will tell, Tav. I amnae pleased that ye kept this from me. But that’s the emotional side of me. I can understand why ye did it. I dinna want a husband who is marrying me out of duty. I dinna want to be anyone else’s burden.”
“Anyone else?”
Ceit looked away. She spoke once again without consideration. Tavish disarmed her even when he frustrated her. She kept speaking things she only meant to keep to herself.
“Ceit, who do ye consider ye are a burden to? Ye serve the queen, ye canna possibly be a burden if ye are there at her whim.”
“Ma father. I am a burden to him. I am just another daughter for whom he will have to pay a dowry. He is beleaguered enough taking over the earldom. He has to find matches for ma sisters and brother. There arenae many who want a Comyn. I dinna ken how ye came to be saddled with me.”
“I dinna like it when ye speak of yerself like that. It makes me angry, and since I canna take that out on the person who’s made ye suffer that way, I fear I will take it out on ye. Ye arenae a burden that is for certain. Have ye nae figured out I vera much want ye as ma wife? I dinna care what yer clan’s name is. Ye’ll be a Sinclair if ye marry me. That is the only name I want to come after Ceit.”
Tavish pulled her in once again and lifted her off her feet so she was eye level to him.
“Hear me now, and hear me well, cat fiadhaich, I will do all I can to woo ye and convince ye to marry me. I want ye to come home with me where I can show ye around as ma bonnie bride. If ma brothers werenae so cow eyed aboot their own brides, they would be jealous of me. If after I try to woo ye, ye dinna want to marry me, then I willna let anyone force ye. If ye dinna want to return to court or Aberdeen, I will take ye wherever ye want.”
“Really? Ye’d do that? And ma name is Ceit nae cat. And I amnae wild.”
“Vera well. Yer name isnae cat. I rather prefer Ceit fiadhaich. It has a better ring to it. And yes, I will take ye wherever ye want, wherever ye’d be happy.”
“Thank ye, Tavish. Ye ken as well as I do I must return to court, but I thank ye for the offer.”
Tavish gave her a hard, swift kiss before setting her back on her feet.
“We had better get back to Magnus. I dinna want him assuming I am like him and the others.”
When she looked at him questioningly, he shook his head.
“Did Magnus call yer horse Tavish? Ye named yer horse after yerself? Ye truly are an arrogant mon.”
Magnus listened as they stepped out of the tree line and roared with laughter.
“Vera funny. Har-har. It’s yer fault I’m stuck with a horse with a ridiculous name.”
Ceit looked back and forth between the two but did not understand what Tavish, the man, was talking about.
“Lass, when I was seven summers, our da gave me Tavish, the horse, as a colt. Tavish, the mon, was ma favorite brother, so I named him after ma brother. A week later, he wasna ma favorite anymore, but the horse wouldnae answer to Callum.”
Magnus held his ribs as he laughed. Even the pain shooting through him did not deter him from having a merry time at his brother’s expense.
“But ye said he was yer horse. Why does Tavish ride him?”
Magnus’s laughter grew louder as Tavish, the man, growled.
“It got to where the horse would wander away from Magnus every time someone called the name. He would go to whomever called him as I was walking over. Ma family considered it hilarious and said it would save us all time if I took the horse. It’s a damn good thing he’s a sturdy warhorse because he’s daft as an auld bodach the rest of the time.”
“The only person who sounds like a cranky auld mon is ye,” Magnus hooted.
Tavish grunted and walked Ceit to her horse. He helped her mount before returning to his. The Tavishes led their small party down the road.