Chapter Ten
Tavish needed the time alone to reflect on all that transpired that day. He started the day by waking to Ceit in his arms and imagining it was the finest way to start the day. Then he watched his brother battle for Deirdre and prayed Magnus would come out unharmed. While watching his brother, he realized the woman who he was rapidly falling in love with disappeared into a bailey unfamiliar to them all with a foe who was not to be trusted. It was a gut-wrenching decision to leave Magnus to find Ceit. He had been so sure that Magnus would defend himself and that Ceit might be in trouble that he went in search of her only to discover she slew not one but two armed guardsmen. As though that was not enough, he learned this same woman was essentially a mercenary for the king with an uncle trying to whore her off to the king and the king’s brother. Through all of that, she stayed untainted by bitterness or resentment. She also remained honest. It still stung that she tried to evade telling him the truth, but he understood. When he pictured himself in her position, he accepted he would do the same thing. He would protect his family before all others, and she was trying to do the same.
It also made Tavish realize that he respected Ceit even more than he had before. Tavish liked her spunk and the way she stood up to him, and he respected her skills as a healer. He also respected her sense of duty and sacrifice, but it was those same qualities that scared him. He would not stop worrying about her safety until they married and he spirited her away to the northern Highlands and the comfort of his family’s keep. The king planned to allow Ceit to leave or he would not have arranged the betrothal, but now Tavish was skeptical as to why it was the Sinclairs he wanted Ceit to marry into and what he would ask her to do. These thoughts roiled around in his head until Magnus whistled to alert Tavish to his approach. The owl call was soft and most likely undistinguishable to anyone else, but it was a solid Sinclair signal that a friend approached.
“How’s Deirdre?”
Tavish looked at his brother.
“She’s better than I expected. She seems unphased, and I ken Hay did little to her. She convinced him nae to touch her, so he would be sure she wasna carrying ma bairn. She played to his ego and blessedly won.”
“And how are ye, baby brother?”
Magnus gloated despite the nickname.
“Happier than a pup with two cocks. I have ma wife back, she’s safe, and she offered me a vera warm welcome.”
“I dinna care to ken that. Ye will have to let her rest. It’s a good thing ye have watch.”
“Aye. And ye? Will ye let the lass rest, or are ye going to slide into her bedroll again?”
“Sshh, I ken ye kenned, but I promised her ye wouldnae notice. And aye, I am sleeping next to her. She frightens years off ma life every damn day, and yet I canna seem to get enough of her.”
“Ye were alone together an awfully long time.” Magnus trailed off with his brow raised.
“She is still as untouched this eve as she was before I arrived at court. We had things to settle.”
“Oh?”
“Aye.”
Tavish gave Magnus a warning look.
“Vera well. Find yer bed of sorts.”
Tavish moved back into camp careful not to wake either slumbering woman. He checked on Deirdre who was peacefully sleeping without Magnus. He looked over to Ceit and saw she chose a spot further from the fire and was tossing and turning. Tavish crept over to her and brushed his fingers across her forehead. It was clammy and when his hand trailed down to her cheek, it met with cold skin. She was wrapped in a Comyn plaid and had her arisaid on beneath that and over her kirtle, but she was still chilled. Tavish looked over to where his own spare plaid lay near the fire. He scooped Ceit into his arms and made his way around the fire Magnus must have built up. He placed Ceit onto his plaid and listened to her murmuring.
“Forgive me.” She said it so clearly that Tavish assumed she was awake, but when he looked down, her eyes were closed, and her breathing was rhythmic. Just as he was about to arrange the extra length of plaid around them both, she twisted and reached towards the fire. They were far enough away she was unable to reach, but Tavish pulled her arms in, in case of any embers.
“Dinna leave me, Tav.”
Once again, she spoke clearly even if softly, and Tavish realized she was still deep in the land of nod. He stroked her head and kissed her crown. With great care, he slid his arm below her neck and rolled her towards him. With more gentleness than he realized he was capable of, he dropped kisses on her forehead as he shook her awake.
“Ceit. Ceit, mo chridhe, wake up. Wake up, mo leannan.”
Her eyelids inched open, and she was disoriented. She took a moment to blink the sleep away before she threw her arm and leg over Tavish, squeezing so hard he chuckled.
“Ye’re here. Ye dinna give up and leave.”
“Where would I have gone? Ye are headed to the same place as I am.”
He smiled as he continued to stroke her hair and back.
“I ken that. I meant ye didna give up and leave me by the fire alone. Ye came for me.”
“Aye. And I will keep doing so, though I wish ye wouldnae scare me so often.”
“It was only twice.”
“And ye took at least a score off ma life. How am I to grow old with ye if ye kill me off in ma prime?”
Ceit stilled as she looked up into Tavish’s eyes. The flames from the fire danced across his face and cast parts in the shadows, but she watched them snap and wave in his eyes.
“I amnae going anywhere, lass. Nae tonight, nae any time soon.”
“I dinna remember dreaming. I remember being anxious that ye werenae nearby and that ye left. Left me.” Ceit tucked her chin and burrowed into Tavish’s chest.
“Relax, mo chridhe. I am here, and I will hold ye while ye sleep. If ye wake again, ye will have me next to ye.”
“Ye call me yer heart. Ye’ve done it twice. How can I be yer heart when I deceived ye? Ye were so angry today, and when ye said ye wouldnae marry me.” The tears trickled onto his collar bone.
“I dinna understand how that hurts so much. We barely ken each other. I’ve only kenned for a few days we would marry, but yet, it was as though the air and sky were crushing me under the weight of yer rejection. I experienced the same sensation at Crichton when I pictured ye fighting alongside Magnus.”
“I spoke out of frustration and ma own fears. I meant it when I said I dinna want to marry a duplicitous woman, but I also kenned that I would have run off with ye if I needed to. I dinna sense ye are dishonest by nature. If I did, I wouldnae be lying here holding ye. I willna give ye up, and as long as we can work together rather than against one another, I perceive we are quite a formidable match. Nae only that, I am attracted to ye in a way I dinna understand. It isnae like aught I have ever experienced before. I canna keep ma eyes off of ye, I wonder what ye will say next, and I like that ye challenge me. I dinna care so much for the danger chasing side of ye, but yer backside more than makes up for that.” Tavish slid his hand down and pinched her bottom playfully.
She swatted his hand away, but when his palm rested flat against one cheek of her backside, she snuggled closer, enjoying the possessive and familiar touch.
“Ye have forgiven me then?”
“I had more time to reflect while I was on watch. I had time to piece through everything ye told me. I understand yer reasoning, so aye, I forgive ye. And, when I put maself in yer position, alone and manipulated in a royal court, I realize there isnae much to forgive. I would have done the same.”
Ceit pulled his leine loose and slid her hand underneath. She found having his skin under her hand soothing. He was like satin except for where soft curls ran from his navel to below his plaid. His chest was smooth, and she liked the muscles below his skin unencumbered by a layer of fur like she saw on other men. Her caress was like a spring mist that wrapped around him and drew him in. Her fingertips touched him, and it was more tantalizing than any experienced touch from his past lovers. He groaned and closed his eyes as her hand familiarized itself with the peaks and valleys of his chiseled form. It reminded her of the marble statues she passed in the royal court except he radiated like a furnace next to her.
“Will ye touch me too?” Ceit’s question had Tavish snapping his eyes open.
“There isnae aught I want more, but are ye sure? I willna claim ye innocence as it isnae mine to take.”
“It is mine to give.”
Tavish cradled her head as his mouth sank to hers. His kiss was once again demanding and possessive, and Ceit gave herself over to it. She opened her mouth wide and darted her tongue into Tavish’s mouth as an invitation. When he pressed his past her lips, she drew it in and applied just enough pressure to make Tavish’s hips jerk forward in search of her mound. His hand on her backside gripped so tightly that it would have been painful if she was not already so aroused. It was pure pleasure. Tavish drew their kiss to an end, and Ceit mewled in protest.
“I canna express the emotions within me when ye would offer me such a precious gift, but I willna take ye for our first time, yer first time, on the ground in the middle of nowhere. And I willna take what isnae mine until we are wed. I dinna want ye to regret this in the morning, and ye ken I willna force ye to marry me. If ye choose to go forward and we wed, then I will make ye ma wife in truth just as ye will make me yer husband.”
“Tavish, that is honorable but unsatisfying,” Ceit presented him with a pout that tempted him into nibbling her bottom lip.
“There is more that we can do without actually coupling.”
Ceit watched him for a moment before nodding her head. Tavish’s hand skimmed from her head down her back where he loosened her ties with alacrity. Ceit did not want to admit to the jealousy that seemed to seep into every pore and nerve at the realization Tavish had not gained this skill without practice. Tavish understood the shift in Ceit. He paused and lifted himself onto his elbow.
“Ceit, there have been others. More than I want to admit now I have found ye. I always maintained I would remain a bachelor, and so I lived like one. I have a past I canna change, and I pray it never hurts ye, but I am who I am. Ceit, I give ye ma word as a Highlander and a Sinclair that there will never be another woman. Before I even left Dunbeath, I pledged ma fidelity to the woman with whom I would become betrothed. Sinclair men are always faithful. We dinna stray from our wives. Ever. I willna be any different. But, mo chridhe, it is nae a duty for me. It may have been how ma parents raised me, but it is also ma choice. I canna imagine anyone else but ye. I dinna want anyone but ye.”
“What if I amnae enough? If I bore ye after ye bed me? I canna compete with a courtesan or even a tavern wench. I dinna ken that much.”
Tavish’s grin was uncontrollable.
“Bored with ye isnae something ye ever need to fear. I wouldnae put ye and that word in the same sentence without laughing. Boring, ye are nae.” Ceit watched Tavish’s gaze turn hungry as his hand pressed against the bare skin of her back. “And bored with ye in bed isnae something I would ever worry aboot. Ye have already shown passion that makes me ready to trail after ye like a lost puppy. I dinna want ye to compete with a courtesan or a tavern whore. They arenae women I would ever consider spending ma life with. They arenae women I would imagine a future with or making a family with. I wouldnae ever consider them as a confidante like I already do ye. I told ye, I assumed I would go unmarried for the rest of ma life. I am the third brother, and both Callum and Alex are fathers. I amnae in danger of becoming laird, so I dinna have to have an heir. Ye are the only woman to catch ma attention, the only woman I have ever wanted to marry. St Columbo’s bones, ye’ve had me hard since the moment I saw ye in the Great Hall the day I arrived. I havenae been this permanently stiff since I discovered what ma cock could do when I saw a comely woman. That was more than three quarters of a score ago.”
Tavish lowered himself and offered a kiss that conveyed feelings he was not yet ready to articulate.
I love her, and that is ridiculous. I have kenned her a sennight, but I wouldnae give her up for aught. I understand what Da, and Mairghread and Callum and Alexander and now Magnus for that matter, have been talking aboot. They warned me that when I fell, I would fall hard. But I dinna care. I have found the right woman, and time be damned.
Tavish eased Ceit’s arisaid and then kirtle from her shoulder. He pulled his spare breacan feile over them more, grateful for being unusually tall which necessitated additional yards of wool. When he was sure they were covered, he kissed a trail from her shoulder to the flesh of her breast. He pulled the mound free and sucked in a breath as he took in a part of her body that exceeded his fantasies. Her breasts were ample but not overly large, tipped with dark raspberry nipples. He laved the puckered skin until it hardened into a dart he sucked into his mouth. He took as much of her breast into his mouth as he could manage, suckling like a man starved. Ceit arched into his mouth and sunk her fingers into his hair. She struggled but pulled her arm free from her sleeve. Tavish rolled her onto her back and helped her pull the other sleeve off. He stared down at her full breasts that were nearly hidden by the darkness of the blanket but were illuminated just enough by the fire to feast his eyes on as his mouth had. He kneaded the supple handful that had just been between his lips as he moved to the other side, offering it the same worshipful treatment. Ceit pressed her lips together to stifle her moan. She unpinned Tavish’s plaid from his shoulder and tugged on his leine until he released her and yanked it over his head. Ceit pulled at her skirts to enable her to cradle his lean hips between her thighs. She did not care how wanton he might label her as she rocked her hips to meet the hard length that pressed against her. She shamelessly rubbed her sensitive nub against the iron he hid under his plaid.
“Tavish,” she breathed his name like a prayer as she scored her nails along his back.
“I ken. I want ye just as much. I crave a taste of ye. I want to taste yer climax against ma tongue, in ma mouth.”
Ceit did not understand what he meant, but he slid below the plaid. She worried he would suffocate. Curious, she held the wool above him and watched as he smoothed her skirts, so they observed one another. Ceit watched as she felt him at the same time. His tongue swept against the heated flesh and lapped at the wetness she was surprised to find dripping onto her thigh. It mortified her, and she tensed.
He soothed her by licking her thigh and then smattering kisses at the juncture of her leg and hip.
“Ye are meant to do this. Yer body is preparing itself for me, and I am hungry for it.”
Tavish once again swept his tongue along her slit and then pressed the tip inside. His groan vibrated against her already stimulated nerves. He slid his fingers from her knees along the insides her thighs. It tickled in a way that made her core clench. He rubbed fingers on both sides of her nether lips as he flicked his tongue across her button. His other hand slipped underneath her to grip her bottom. His hands moved in rhythmic tandem stroking and squeezing until three fingers dipped inside her, and he sucked hard on her nub. Her hips sprung up to meet his mouth as pleasure ricocheted throughout her abdomen. Her core spasmed around his fingers and clenched them within. She arched her neck and struggled not to make a sound. She dropped the plaid and dug her fingers into the fabric and fisted it. Tavish continued to work her with his mouth as she settled. He was relentless and drove her again and again to climax until he pulled away, aware of how sensitive her untried body would be after so much new attention. He pulled himself up to rest on his forearms above her. He licked his lips and smiled like a kitten that found the cream.
“I canna remember aught that has ever tasted as good as ye. I will become addicted to ye. I may need a little of the hair of the dog each and every day for at least the next three score years.”
Ceit struggled to catch her breath as her eyebrow shot up.
“Hair of the dog? Ye’re calling me a dog? Now of all times?”
“Ye ken that isnae what I meant. I may nae be at ma most eloquent right now. Ye have gone to ma head. I’m lightheaded like ye drugged me. All I ken is that I willna ever get enough of ye. Ye are in ma blood and mayhap even ma soul.”
Ceit pulled him down, but he still held most of his weight from her. She wrapped her legs around his hips and used her heels to press him down.
“All of ye,” she breathed.
She tightened her hold as he settled, reassuring himself that he would not crush her.
“I never kenned a mon would do that to a woman. I never kenned I would enjoy aught like that. It was an exquisite torment. I would ken if I can do the same for ye.”
She looked at Tavish, and he hesitated.
“Aye, a woman can, but I wouldnae ever ask it of ye. It isnae something that most respectable women do.”
“Would it make me a whore if I did, or wanted to?”
“Dinna ever use that word aboot yerself. Ye are nae one. Gently reared ladies arenae taught or expected to enjoy the marriage bed. I count it a blessing that ye seem to desire me as much as I do ye, but I dinna expect ye to do aught ye arenae comfortable with.”
“Seem to be? Then I havenae been vera convincing. I didna want to disturb Deirdre or rouse Magnus’s attention, but I vera much would have liked to let ye ken just how much I desire ye. Can I ask ye something without ye getting angry or put out?”
“Ye can always ask me aught. I will always endeavor to answer ye the best I can.”
Ceit nodded before proceeding, “Is having a woman take ye in her mouth something that ye have enjoyed? Is it something ye would miss?”
Tavish wanted to squirm, but he told her only a moment ago that he would answer her questions.
“Aye, it is something I enjoy, but I wouldnae miss it. There are plenty of other ways to pleasure one another, and I took great pleasure from what I did for ye.”
“I amnae convinced ye wouldnae miss it. Can I ask ye something else? This one is a bit more embarrassing for both of us.”
“Aye.”
Ceit took a deep breath and looked at the fire. She was not sure if she was brave enough to ask, but she wanted to understand whether her desire to reciprocate was normal or if she was too wanton.
“Ceit, I told ye I would answer. What is it?”
“Ye said yer brothers have found good matches. Love matches, I imagine.” Tavish nodded. He had a sneaking suspicion where this was going. “Do ye assume yer brother’s wives, well, do they do that?”
Tavish stilled even though he anticipated the question.
“I imagine they do. Ma brothers, and even ma sister, enjoy the marital acts. I would venture to say it’s a part they enjoy.”
“Do ye think any less of yer sister or sisters by marriage?”
“Of course, nae.”
Tavish pushed back hair that stuck to her damp neck and temples.
“Mo leannan, I wouldnae think less of ye for wanting to. I just dinna like the idea ye consider yerself beholden and that’s why ye offer. I dinna want ye ever to consider ye have a duty in our bed.”
“I hadnae pictured it that way at all. I,” she swallowed, “I want to. When ye were, I canna explain it, but ma mouth-- It felt. I dinna ken what to say. It’s like I wanted to hold ye against ma tongue. I wanted to do to yer, yer,” she waved her hand towards his waist, “as I have with yer tongue.”
She looked away to the fire exposed by what she admitted.
“Look at me, please.” Tavish waited until she turned her head, and he saw traces of tears at the corners of her eyes. “Och, mo sheillean beag. It doesnae make me think less of ye. I dinna ken how to describe how a yearning courses through me when ye share yer desire. Aroused, proud, tender-hearted. It’s all jumbled up, but I am also happy that ye dinna perceive marrying me and coming to our bed as a chore.”
“Tavish, have ye seen yerself? There is naught aboot the prospect of coupling with ye that strikes me as a chore.”
Tavish tried not to preen at her comment, but unlike any similar ones given before, this one held meaning. Compliments from women came easily, and he assumed most were trite and offered because they expected it. Ceit was unbeguiling, and her words carried far more value.
“I would say the vera same thing aboot ye, lass. I canna seem to keep ma hands to maself when I am near ye.”
“So ye dinna think less of me because I enjoyed what ye did and want to do the same?”
“What happens between us is exactly that, between us. If there is aught ye want to try or nae try, then that is how it will be.”
Ceit nodded and slipped her hand under Tavish’s plaid. His steel length pulsed as her hand crept closer, still hard even after their pause. He groaned as she pressed on his shoulder with her free hand. Tavish rolled onto his back and brought her with him. She stroked him as he gripped her backside in both hands. He watched her, unable to take his eyes off her just as he told her.
She licked a trail from the shell of his ear down to his collar bone which she nipped. Her mouth charted a course directly to his belt. She chose not to loosen it, or it would mean Tavish repleating his plaid, and there was no surer way to announce what they were doing. She found the place where the material overlapped and drew the two sides apart. She looked for the first time at a fully erect male. She touched the tip of her tongue to the leaking milky liquid. She found the taste unique but not unpleasant. She kissed the base of his rod near his bollocks and then pulled her tongue along his length wrapping it around as she turned her head one way then the other. She brought her tongue back to the hard ridge on the underside and flicked it, making it jerk.
“Do ye control that or does it do it on its own?”
“A bit of both,” Tavish ground out. He was holding her hair out of her way and his. He watched, enraptured by the sight of this woman who captured every part of him and now had him at her mercy. He forced himself to close his eyes hoping to bring himself under control but losing one sense only heightened the others. The smell of her rosemary and thyme soap lingered in his nose along with the musky scent of her release. Her wet tongue made him writhe, and he fisted the plaid to keep from pulling her hair. The wet sound of her mouth now moving on, around, and over his length was driving him to completion far sooner than he would like. He refused to climax in her mouth. He was sure he was going to leap out of his skin when one hand cupped and rolled his cods while the other stroked the length she was unable to swallow. She added the twist of her wrist she used the last time, and he was lost. His release was coming, and he tried to pry her loose, but her suction only increased.
“Ceit, I dinna want to lose ma seed into yer mouth. Please, Ceit.”
She swatted his hand away at first, then grasped his wrist and pinned it to the ground as the jets of seed hit the inside of her cheeks and then the back of her throat. She struggled to swallow while having his cock still lodged between her squeezing lips. She sucked harder in the attempt to not drool, and a second wave of liquid squirted from Tavish. She let go of his wrist and released his rod.
It was Ceit’s turn to look like the kitten that got into the cream. She licked her lips and looked contemplatively at Tavish. He had no idea what she would say or do next. She pulled his plaid back over him and stretched out on top of him. She crossed her hands over his chest and rested her chin on them.
“Why would ye want me to stop? Ye didna stop when ye were pleasuring me. Why would I stop when ye were so close to finding ye own pleasure?”
“First, the entire experience was one of pleasure, nae just the end. Second, I didna want to alarm ye by what would happen. And I admit, I still must get used to a lady doing this. Ye are an innocent, and I am corrupting ye awfully quickly.”
“If ye are to be ma husband, then it doesnae count as corruption. Especially when I am a willing participant. If ye dinna consider me,” she paused and twisted her mouth, “that word ye dinna want me to say, then is it bad that I enjoyed what I did? That I would do it again, want to do it again.”
Tavish rested his hands on the small of her back and kissed her forehead.
“It isnae bad at all. I dinna ken what else to say that willna put both of ma feet in ma mouth, but suffice it to say, we both have made more than one discovery this eve, and I am vera, vera, vera happy for it.”
“Miann mo chridhe agus feum mo chorp.” Ceit whispered as she kissed his chest, and he sucked in his breath. She rested her cheek above his heart and lazily stroked his ribs until she caught herself drifting off.
I couldnae have heard right. ‘My heart’s desire and my body’s want.’ Heavenly Father, Ye have given me more than I deserve. I pray that I will be a worthy husband to this woman. She gives herself freely, and I will treasure that to the end of ma days. I wish I held the power to undo ma past. I wish that this were all new to me just as it is for her. I wish I were discovering passion for the first time with her, but I am discovering love. And in its own way, a far different passion than tupping ever gave me. Let me care for and provide for this woman the rest of our days.
“Mo aonar agus a-mhàin,” Tavish murmured. When she dropped a kiss and squeezed slightly, he realized she was not as asleep as he assumed. But he had spoken the truth. She was his one and only. He would fight for that and damned be any person who attempted to keep them apart.