Chapter 10 – Scott
“Are you okay, sir?”
I told Alice I was fine, but it was hard to focus. It was always hard to focus now. That wasn’t a problem that I’d had before, but before I hadn’t had something weighing on me so heavily. I’d fallen in love with the wrong woman.
“You’ve been acting kind of strange lately. Is the firm about to go down and I just don’t know it?”
The idea caught me off guard. I’d been off of my game, but was it that obvious that she would question the ability of the company to keep going?
“Nothing is wrong with the firm. We’re not going down. Why would you even think that?” I had to wonder in the back of my mind if she’d heard something from the board that I hadn’t.
“I don’t know, sir. It’s really just the way that you’re acting lately. I don’t know what’s going on with you lately, but you can’t tell me that everything is fine. You’re coming in late with a hangover and leaving earlier and earlier. I just want to help. We’ve worked together for so long.”
I stopped her before she got into language that should be saved for an intervention. Was it really that obvious that I was tearing up inside? It felt so clear to me because I couldn’t help but feel it, but I hated the idea that everyone else could see it so clearly as well. I must not being doing a very good job of hiding it. Not near as good as I’d thought.
“I’m fine, really.”
Alice cocked her head to the side and showed me with an expression how much she believed that statement.
“Really, I am. I just have a lot going on. You know that this is a bad time of year for me anyway.”
Her face changed. Although I didn’t like to bring it up, I still would when it was convenient. It was the perfect way to explain away my recent antics without having to say that I was in love with a fetish girl that I couldn’t have. I didn’t have to mention the idea of how many guys touched her besides me and how it consumed everything that I did.
“I forgot, Scott, I’m sorry. I didn’t even think about it. I just worry about you.”
That was the reason she was still here. She’d long since been overwhelmed with the caseload, but she cared, and I needed that on my side more than a brilliant mind. Alice was there to keep all of the practical things together.
“I’m fine, really. I’ve just been dealing with it in my own way. It’s getting better.”
I felt lousy bringing up my parents’ death to sidetrack her from the truth, but she didn’t bring it up again throughout the rest of the morning briefing. She was right, though, it was almost noon and I’d missed two meetings because I wasn’t here. And it was also right that I had a hangover most of the time. It was just eating me up inside, and I had to find a way to fix it. I was a fixer, after all. I put it in my head that I was going to talk to Elie tonight before I saw Mariah.
The thought of her got me through the day. I tried not to dwell on what she did the other days and hours that I didn’t see her. I didn’t want to. Alice had made it clear with her concern this morning that I was slipping and I had to get it together. This was no time to be losing it, and the last thing that I needed was people thinking that I was slipping. The board was always ready to pounce if I made once false step.
Looking at the clock, I could see that it was only three, but I wanted to leave. If Alice wasn’t at her desk with her judgmental eyes, I think I would have. I wouldn’t get to see Mariah until seven tonight. That left hours that I would have to kill elsewhere, and most likely the drinking would start not too long after I left the building.
Instead of leaving when I wanted, I stayed till five and about crawled out of my skin waiting. I waved to Alice on my way out, and I saw her eyes flick to the clock on the bottom of her computer. It wasn’t like I was staying there all night, but at least I wasn’t leaving earlier than everyone else. Tomorrow I would try to get there a little earlier, but tonight I had other things that I had to think about.
***
“Tonight I want to talk for a few minutes, Mariah, without the games.”
Mariah’s hair was all teased and curled, giving the impression that it was longer than it was. I wanted to touch her. The silken strands always felt good running through my fingers.
“Okay, Scott.” There was a disappointment on her face that I didn’t quite understand. What was going through her mind? Did she really want to be with me that badly? Did she really look forward to us being together as much as I did?
While I would have liked to believe that, it was a hard one to wrap my brain around. All of it was. Although I’d spent years at the club looking for the perfect girl, I’d never actually thought I would find her. If I had, I would have thought about the consequences of such a feat. The very fact of meeting her here at the club had made it hard to pursue her as I wanted to. I was stuck with only seeing her for the very limited amount of time that she could be booked. Something had to change.
“What do you want to talk about?”
“I want to talk about you leaving this place.”
Her eyes went to mine and she shook her head. I didn’t know what she meant by that. Did it mean she didn’t want to go? Mariah turned her back to me and told me to come with her to the shower. It wasn’t a place that we usually went, and she’d never suggested anything to me before, so it took my mind a minute to compute it.
Mariah was already in the shower and starting to strip when I got into the bathroom. I wasn’t thinking about anything else then. The conversation that had been so important then was not as important anymore. Now her bare breasts and round ass bending down were all I could think about.
“What are you doing?” Was this the moment that she was going to allow me to have all of her? This was not part of the script, and I wasn’t used to a submissive changing things up so drastically on her own accord.
“Come in here, Scott, so we can talk.”
Mariah closed the curtain and I started to take off my clothes. There was no other choice. I was the one who wanted to talk before the games. I just didn’t fathom why she wanted it to be like this. I had high hopes for a minute that it was because she’d changed her mind on other things, but the vibe I was getting did not cement the idea.
When I finally got in, Mariah was standing there under the water and I was hypnotized by the water droplets falling down her frame. Every inch of her was perfect, and my first instinct was to grab her to me and pull her in so that I could feel her against me. We’d been intimate in many ways, but this was something new. Her body felt so good next to mine that I was instantly hard and sliding between her thighs. Mariah jumped and pushed me back.
“No, Scott. This is so that we can talk.”
“What?”
I could barely understand her words over my own need to take the woman in front of me. What was she talking about?
“The room is rigged with voice and video. This is the only place Elie can’t really see and hear what’s going on.”
“You’re telling me that he can see us in here?” My mind went to what kind of footage that man had of me through the years. I’d come every week for many years and done many things that I would never want to get out to the rest of the world. The idea that someone like Elie would have that in his possession didn’t sit well with me at all. It felt like a vulnerability that I hadn’t known about before.
“Yes, he can see into all of the rooms. They all feed back into his office, so you have to watch what you say. I like you, Scott, I do, but I’m not ready for more than I offer.”
I realized that I was still sliding my thickness in between her thighs. It would have taken only a little shift in how I was pushing into her for me to get what I wanted most. I wanted to know what she felt like on the inside. I wanted to be the first.
Pulling away before I did something that I would regret later, I apologized to her. Something that I never did, but felt compelled to do just the same.
“I don’t know what came over me. You’re just so beautiful, Mariah, and I thought that you were giving me permission… never mind.” I was at a loss for words. I’d come there with the intention of making her come like she had every time that I saw her – and to see if she was ready to take this to the next level. I wanted her away from Elie and all of the other clients that she had to see that weren’t me. What the hell had happened, and how had it all gone so wrong?
“It’s okay, Scott.”
She kept saying my name as she looked up at me. One hand was touching my cheek and one hand played by my torso, rubbing the muscles lower and lower. The last thing that I would have called the moment was okay. It was not okay, not when I felt like I was going to explode if I didn’t have her soon. Her fingers wrapping around my hard shaft made it even less okay than before.
“So what did you want to talk about?”
“I want to see you.”
“I’m here. You’re seeing me now.”
Her answers were flippant, so different than what I’d come to expect. Once again I was reminded that what we played was a game. I was trying to fake this into something that was real.
“I want to see you outside of here, for longer periods of time.”
Mariah looked off, and I got the feeling that she wasn’t going to agree as readily as I’d hoped. Her hand kept moving up and down, squeezing and tugging on my cock as my breath hitched in my throat. This was new. With no guidelines, Mariah was pushing me to come faster than I ever had before. It wasn’t long before I was shooting my seed onto her drenched body.
She kissed me while I stared at her in awe. This wasn’t how I wanted everything to be, but Mariah was content to rinse me off of her and look back at me to see if there was anything else. She didn’t want to talk about more time. She didn’t want to talk about changing what we had. Was this going to be enough?
“I’m not done with you, Mariah.”
She looked down at my softened cock, spent from her unexpected demeanor and touch. That could be changed, but her answer irked me more than anything. She had no faith. When did everyone lose faith in me so suddenly?
“I thought you were.”
“No. And it’s sir.”
Her blue eyes darkened, and she knew that the time for no games was over. I wanted her to listen to me, and if I had to command it, I might as well get something else out of it. “Bend over, Mariah. You’ve been rather mouthy and liberal with your touch. I think you need a reminder of who runs things.”
“Sir…”
She sounded unsure, but I wasn’t. I knew exactly what I wanted, and I was going to get it from her one way or another. If I had to order her to love me, I would. I had to find a way so that I was the only man who ever touched her again. Trying to negotiate with her hadn’t worked out so well, so now it might be time for me to go to Elie and see what he had to say about everything.