Chapter Four

 

“Have you sorted out the Warringtons’ cake yet, Maddie?”

“No, I haven’t had time. This golden anniversary thing at the zoo is a complete headache. They even want to ride off on an elephant at the end of the evening.”

“Is the zoo okay with that?”

“Yes, but they say it has to be before eight because apparently that is elephant bedtime.”

“And have you told Mrs. Johnson?”

“Yes, she told me to offer them an extra five hundred dollars to have the elephant stay up late but the zoo isn’t budging.”

I sighed and rubbed my hand across my forehead. “Okay, you carry on with that and I’ll do cakes and balloons for Rachel Warrington’s christening.” I wandered back into my office and stared at the pile of notes and files on my desk. My to-do list was as long as my arm but my heart just wasn’t in it. I couldn’t summon the enthusiasm I usually did for anything involving Best Laid Plans. It was as though a part of me was elsewhere, but I wasn’t sure where.

I frowned. We needed some help. We needed some help fast. “You know anyone who’s on the ball and needs a job?” I shouted to Maddie.

Quiet.

“Maddie?”

“Actually, yes.” She appeared at the door to my office, a broad beam on her face. “My cousin Cassie has just moved back home, she’s been living in Ohio with her boyfriend and it all went wrong. She’s smart, efficient and has turned her hand to all kinds of things over the years.”

“Cool,” I said, flopping onto my chair. “Give her a call and see if she can stop by tomorrow. Tell her to park for the day. If I like her she can start immediately.”

“You’ll like her,” Maddie said with a grin. “She’s just like me.”

“In that case I’ll adore her,” I said, smiling back and picking up my mobile. Perhaps that would be one problem solved.

I got busy, booked two venues for events over the next three months. Sorted out a halal buffet and sourced a dozen white doves for a wedding in the spring. I chased up the fountain to be delivered to Carly’s and ordered gladiator outfits for the fifteen male bar and waiting staff.

Despite the rush of business, I had no events to attend this coming weekend—a rarity—and I was looking forward to kicking back in sweats and lazing around. Just me, quiet, no commitments. The blank two days on my calendar were very welcome.

I nibbled on a blueberry muffin Maddie had brought me and began the satisfying job of ticking off my to-do list.

Suddenly Maddie’s voice, high and authoritative, caught my attention. “I’m sorry, but you’ll need an appointment, she’s busy right now.”

“I don’t need an appointment.”

My heart stuttered. I recognized the deep, rumbling voice I didn’t think I’d hear again. A voice full of determination and intent, belonging to a man who seriously played with my rules every time I saw him.

“But she is very busy, Mr…. Mr…?”

“Lewis. And I’m sure Miss Wilcox would prefer me in her office than on her doorstep.”

What the hell is he doing here?

I thought I’d been perfectly clear last night. As irritation spiked my scalp, my traitorous heart did a flip of excitement and my nipples puckered beneath my blouse.

“Well, I-I…” Maddie stuttered. “Now is not a good time.”

He appeared in the doorway of my office, paused, then strode purposefully up to the front of my desk. The late-morning sunshine cut across his cheek and one corner of his mouth. His big body created a shadow against not just the flecked Hessian carpet but also on the opposite wall, creeping up and over a photograph of a giant birthday cake with a team of cheerleaders bursting from it.

I swallowed tightly. The last thing I needed was a nerve-twisting conversation with Rick. I’d been busy pushing him from my mind and seeing him standing in front of me all heart-stopping, head-turning gorgeous was not going to help me wean myself off him.

“Nice setup you’ve got going on here,” he said, placing his hands on his hips and looking around.

“Why are you here?”

“I’m having a party and I want to book your services.” He pulled up a chair and folded his large frame into it. His gaze trapped mine.

“I’m sorry, Dana, he just walked in and I…” Maddie rushed into the office, pushing her small red glasses up the bridge of her nose.

“It’s okay, Maddie,” I said, my gaze leaving Rick’s for the briefest of moments. “Mr. Lewis won’t stay long.”

His eyebrows tilted and he folded his arms over his wide chest, settling back farther into the chair as if he were planning on staying a while.

I frowned. “I’m sure there are other party planners you could use.”

“I want to use Best Laid Plans. They have a great reputation.” His mouth tipped into a devilish grin. “And I also want you there, overseeing the event.”

“Is this some kind of elaborate way to get me to go out with you again?”

“No.” His eyes widened, feigning hurt. “Of course not.”

“Because you know that isn’t going to happen.”

“You went out with him?” Maddie asked, her mouth forming a perfect ‘O’. “But you never go out on dates.”

I frowned. “I can take it from here, thanks, Maddie.”

She pointed at me then at her chest. “Later,” she mouthed. Her lips pursed and she left the office, not quite shutting the door.

I sighed. “When do you want this so-called party?”

He reached forward and spun my calendar to face him. “This weekend is looking good.”

“This weekend?”

“Yeah, you have nothing on Saturday night, so that will be just fine.”

“But that’s not nearly enough time to organize anything, that’s only three days away.”

“I have confidence in your planning abilities.”

“It’s impossible.” I shook my head.

“Nothing is impossible, Dana. Why don’t you look upon it as a challenge?”

“Don’t you have a game you have to be at?”

“Nope, not on Saturday.”

“Practice, training?”

“Nope.”

I sighed. “What kind of party?”

“A bachelor celebration for Brick. He’s just proposed to the woman of his dreams and us guys should give him some kind of slap on the back.”

“And you want me to be there? At a guy thing? Won’t that be a bit odd?”

“Oh no, it will be just fine. And it’s going to be at my house so you’ll know where to come.”

I picked up a pencil and scribbled down Saturday—Rick’s. “I think Maddie will be able to handle this very well. She’s attending events now on my behalf.”

He leaned forward and his fisted hands dropped onto the table. My pencil pot shook as did my half-empty coffee cup. “No. It’s you or not at all, Dana.”

“So what if I said not at all?”

“I don’t think you would want to piss me off like that.” His eyes flashed dangerously and a muscle jumped in his cheek.

He was right, I didn’t want to piss him off, and I did like a challenge. Organizing something in three days would be tight. “So, if I took the job on, tell me what you’d need.”

How does he always make me forget I said no?

He grinned, as if he knew he’d won. “Pizza, beer and some girls, I dunno, dancers or something.” He shrugged. “What do you think?”

“Dancers?”

“Yeah, I was imagining something real sexy, you know, pole dancers, belly dancers, the guys would enjoy that. They can’t go to clubs and enjoy a show without getting photographed and having it splashed all over trashy gossip magazines.”

I gulped in a breath. Pole dancers, why the hell had he come up with that? Had he been digging and found something out about my past? No, he couldn’t have. Impossible. I’d left a clean trail, there was no evidence of my past anywhere.

“Nothing sordid,” he went on. “They can keep a few clothes on, but something pretty to look at always appeals to the guys.” He tipped his head and his eyes grew heavy. “Like you in that bikini last night, that was a real pretty sight.”

My cheeks heated. The way he was devouring me with his gaze brought memories of the intense orgasm he’d given me with just his fingers. I should resist this man, I knew I should, but I couldn’t. “Okay,” I said, nodding curtly and looking away to hide my internal battle. “Tell me what time, how many guests and I’ll take care of it, but it will cost you. A lot.”

“I don’t care how much it costs,” he said, rising to his feet. “And cater for about twenty. Here’s my cell number, again, in case you have any questions.” He turned and stepped toward the door. “I’m out of town for the next two days, got a game on the West Coast but don’t hesitate to call.” He narrowed his eyes. “And I’ll see you at my house at seven on Saturday. If you’re not there by ten past I’ll be around to collect you.”

He strode from the office and out of sight.

After a grilling from Maddie about Rick “Ramrod” Lewis, I set about ordering enough pizza and beer to feed twenty hungry hockey players on Saturday night. Possibly the easiest catering job I’d ever had to handle.

I called a rigging company and organized a pole to be delivered and installed into Rick’s home cinema on Friday afternoon. It would fit nicely in front of the enormous screen and would even be slightly elevated like a stage. The guy on the phone didn’t seem fazed when I told him what it was for.

Needing to sort out the actual dancers, my hand hovered over the phone. Tina sprang to mind. We’d been really good friends. She was a great dancer, taught me a lot and was stunningly pretty. Trouble was, it had been a while since we’d been in touch. I’d sent her a hundred dollars at Christmas for her to treat her young son, Raif, but since then we’d had no contact. That part of my life no longer existed and that was the way I liked it. But Tina did still exist and I cared about her, thought about her, wondered how she was faring in the lifestyle I’d escaped. I also knew she would need the money.

Money went through her fingers like water and this could set her up for several weeks’ rent, food and bills.

I dialed her cell, hoping she hadn’t changed it and praying I wouldn’t regret bringing my old best friend into my new life.

“Hey, sugar lips, I was waiting for you to call.”

“Tina?”

“Er, yeah, who is this?”

“Tina, it’s Dana.”

“Well, for crying out loud, girl, how are you?”

“I’m good, and you?”

“Doin’ amazing, finally got me a decent man.”

“Is he treating you well?” Tina’s idea of a decent man was probably one who didn’t think it was fun to beat her every second night.

“Like a princess, and Raif adores him, especially when he takes him out in his car on night rides.”

An image of angelic Raif sitting in some mean and noisy roadster filled my mind. I pushed it away. “Did Raif have a good birthday last month?”

“Yes, I took him to the mini golf, he loves it. Let him take a friend, too.” There was a moment of silence.
“You okay?” Tina asked.

“Great.”

“Got yourself a man yet?” she asked.

“No and I’m planning on keeping it that way.”

“Oh, give that a rest already, girl, it’ll close up.” She laughed. “Is your business still going well?”

“Busy, really busy. Look, I’m calling to see if you want some work.”

“If it’s my kind of work, honey, then sure, count me in.”

“I’m organizing a party this weekend, some hockey guys, they want a couple of dancers.” I paused. “It would be great money, you’d just have to sign to keep your mouth shut about it.”

“Sure, but what’s your idea of great money these days?”

“Five hundred dollars for an hour’s work.”

“Hell, count me in.”

“Is there someone else you could bring? I need two dancers.”

“Mmm, yeah, I’ll ask Cindy. It’s her night off, she’s new. A tall Amazonian type, rocks the pole.”

“Sounds perfect, I’ll send a car to collect you both. Are you still in Canton?”

“Yep, it’s a shithole but it works for me.”

“Be ready for about nine, and any problems call me on this number.”

“Sure thing and, you know, thanks for thinking of me. I appreciate it.”

“I often think of you.”

“And I think of you, too, honey.”

“Also, Tina, would you mind not mentioning to anyone you happen to talk to at the party that I used to dance at Mackay’s?”

“Of course I won’t, I know how hard you worked to turn your life around. You’re an executive now, got your own company, a car and a house. I’m proud of the new you, I wouldn’t jeopardize that.”

“Thanks, Tina, I appreciate it, I’ll see you Saturday then.”

“Are you gonna be there?”

“Yes, the host is insisting upon it.”

She snorted with laughter. “Ah, I think there’s more to this story than you’re letting on—hockey players, dancing. I’ll get it all out of you, Dana, I know the chinks in your armor.”

“There’s nothing to get out of me.” She was as bad as Maddie.

“Mmm, we’ll see.”

 

*****

 

I pulled up at Rick’s gates on time and was met with a burly guy in a navy suit. Chainlink Security was embroidered in gold on his jacket.

“Good evening, madam,” he said when I wound down the window. “Is Mr. Lewis expecting you?”

“Very much so,” I said, remembering his threat of coming to collect me if I wasn’t there by ten past seven. “Dana Wilcox.”

He consulted a clipboard, ticked my name off, then pointed a remote at the gates. They started to swing open.

“Has Mr. Lewis had some more trouble out here?” I asked, glancing up and down the street, half expecting to see a crazy woman strutting around.

“No, miss, and he wants to make sure it stays that way.” He stepped back and I caught sight of a holster around his waist. I shivered. My hatred of guns only grew as the years passed.

I pulled up the drive and parked next to Rick’s Lexus. Before I was even at the steps the front door was flung open.

“Hey,” he said, looking like a walking invitation to sin in faded jeans and a soft green cotton shirt. “Glad you made it on time.”

“I wouldn’t dare not.”

Why does my stomach flip every single time I see him?

He chuckled and stepped aside so I could walk into the hallway.

I breathed in deep, inhaling his luscious scent. It swirled around my insides and laced my tongue, reminding me of his taste, reminding me of his touch.

“The guys will be here by eight. I ordered cars so they can have a few beers.”

“I could have organized that if you’d asked.” I dumped my bag on the chaise.

His brow creased. “You don’t have to do everything for me.”

“But that’s what you’re paying Best Laid Plans for, to do everything.”

“I asked for food, drink and some entertainment, nothing more.” He stepped up close and studied me with his heavy brown eyes.

“And you insisted on me being here,” I said in a quiet voice.

“Oh yeah, and that.” He tucked a lock of hair behind my ear. “How’s your week been? Since I last saw you.”

“Busy, I was looking forward to a night off, actually.”

His mouth twitched. “I’ll cancel. It can be just you and me and a mountain of pizza.”

“See, I was right, this was a ruse to get me out again, wasn’t it?” Placing my hands on my hips, I tried to look cross.

He grinned. “You being here is a definite bonus but no, I genuinely wanted to give Brick a guy’s night. He’s been so wound up in Carly these last six months, we’ve barely been able to grab a beer with him. If he’s guest of honor there’s no way he can back out and spend the evening in bed with his hot fiancée.” He paused. “But we have time for a quick dip in the pool before they arrive if you want to?”

My belly clenched at the suggestion. “No, I think we can safely say I’ve experienced the pool.”

He laughed and stepped away. “Well in that case come take a look at the ‘dancing room.’ They installed a girly twirling pole yesterday.”

 

*****

 

Before long, the house was loud with deep, raucous voices, and the aroma of pizza hung heavy in the air.

Rick introduced me to the first few of his guests, Phoenix, Raven and a few others whose names I didn’t catch. But after that there seemed to be so many men all shouting over one another about the latest hockey scores and predicting future transfers that it was hard even to think straight.

Tina and Cindy showed on time and I hurried them into one of Rick’s spare bedrooms to change into their stage clothes.

“Phew, fabulous fucking pad,” Tina said, whistling as she looked around the opulent bedroom.

“Yes, it’s impressive, isn’t it?” I said.

She narrowed her eyes at me. “I know you’re not telling me everything, Dana, I haven’t seen you for a while but I can still tell there’s more to this fancy party than meets the eye.”

“Are you sleeping with him?” Cindy asked, stripping off her clothes without a hint of embarrassment. “The big one, the captain, what’s his name…Ramrod?”

“No,” I said quickly. “No, I’m not. Not at all. No.”

She laughed. “Hah, you protest too much.”

Tina raised her eyebrows. “You could do worse you know, hon.”

“That might be the case but I’m here doing my job, organizing his party, nothing more.” I folded my arms. “So if you’re ready, I’ll tell the guys to take their seats.”

“This is all very civilized,” Tina said, removing her top and denim shorts to reveal a gold sparkling bra-and-thong set.

“Yeah, but I’m not complaining. Makes a nice change from the grimy backstage rooms at Mackay’s, doesn’t it?” Cindy pulled on a scarlet thong and bra that looked stunning against her coffee-colored skin. She reached into a bag and drew out a red feather boa and high black stilettoes. She slipped them on and grinned at me. “Let me at ’em. I’ve always had a thing for hockey players. All that grunting and beefy brawn. This should be fun.”

 

 

Standing at the back of the home theater, I watched Tina strut confidently up to the pole in time with the fast beat of her music. With a smile, a wink and a saucy wriggle of her hips, she harnessed the attention of the men in the room.

It never failed to amaze me how effortless she made swinging from one limb look, and clearly in the last few years she’d honed and perfected her routine so it was completely seamless. Her waist-length blonde hair swept over the floor when she hung upside down and her endlessly long legs wrapped around the metal supporting her entire body as she spun and slid, landing solid but light every time.

I glanced at Rick. He was sitting in the back row. He smiled up at me and took a sip from a beer, his eyes not leaving mine as he tipped the bottle. I looked away. Glanced back. His gaze was still on me.

Pulling in a deep breath, I offered him my most professional smile. Best Laid Plans had given him what he’d asked for—pizza, beer and beautiful girls to dance for his friends. I’d done my job. He couldn’t complain.

When Tina finished showcasing her moves, Cindy took to the stage, flapping her feather boa provocatively. She was an amazing mover—her lithe, slim body incredibly beautiful and her expression sultry and sexy. She even treated the guys to some up-close-and-personal belly dancing, which generated several wolf whistles from the front row. I glanced at Rick again. He was chatting quietly to Phoenix and apparently oblivious of the show he’d paid an extortionate amount for.

As if he felt my gaze he paused, turned and gave me a cheeky, lopsided grin, creating a dimple in one cheek.

A flush traveled over my skin.

What is it about his smile?

It turned me to mush and created a warm glow in my belly and my chest. Not an unpleasant sensation, just new and impossible to ignore.

The show lasted nearly an hour and afterward, as the players wandered back to the kitchen in search of more food and drink, I heard several of them admiring the athletic qualities of the dancers. Though many, of course, were discussing their female attributes and wondering what other positions their supple limbs could twist into.

Tina and Cindy quickly collected their bags from the bedroom and I met them at the front door to say goodbye.

“Thanks for dancing, you were both awesome,” I said, handing Tina an envelope thick with bills.

“No, thank you, Dana,” Tina said, folding the envelope in half and shoving it deep into her purse.

“The guys seemed to enjoy it, even though we stayed covered,” Cindy said, her expression one of wonder. “Didn’t even get my puppies out and they were hooked.”

I smiled. “Not quite as Neanderthal as you thought, huh?”

She shook her head. “No, quite sweet really.”

I laughed. Sweet wasn’t an adjective I’d use for the crowd of hungry, loud men roaming around the kitchen.

“Don’t be a stranger, Dana,” Tina said, reaching out and resting her hand on my shoulder. “Raif still asks about you. He’d love to see you sometime.”

“I’m sorry, life is hectic, but I will stay in touch. And please, give Raif a hug from me.”

“I will.” She reached forward and tugged me into a tight embrace. “And remember what I said earlier, you could do a lot worse than Ramrod.”

“There’s nothing going on.” I pulled back.

She sighed. “I might just be a dancer and I sure as hell don’t have any qualifications, but if there is one thing I know it’s men.” She cupped my chin in her hand. “And that man looks at you as though he wants to throw you over his shoulder and carry you off to his cave.”

“He does not.”

“Oh honey, he so does,” Tina laughed. “And if you ignore it, you’re not as bright as I thought you were.”

Cindy opened the front door. “Come on, Tina, let’s get going. Rodrigo will be a complete shit if we’re late.”

“Think about it,” Tina said, giving me a quick peck on the cheek. “There’s not many times in life a decent man passes your way. If I were you, I’d be grabbing him by that hot tushie of his and not letting go.”

 

*****

 

“Have they gone home now?” I asked Rick an hour later.

“Yeah, they need their beauty sleep,” he said with a laugh and bolted the door.

“Then it’s time for me to go, too.” I reached my purse from the chaise.

“Please, Dana, wait.” Rick wrapped his fingers around my wrist.

“Why?” My breath hitched as I looked up into his face.

“Because I want to talk to you.”

“About what?”

“The, er, girl, the dancer.” His voice quieted. “With the blonde hair. You knew her?”

My lips tightened and my knees jerked as if they’d been whacked from behind.

Oh shit, he saw Tina giving me a hug goodbye.

“It doesn’t matter how,” he went on. “I just…” He shook his head and his jaw clenched. “Damn it, Dana, talk to me. Quit with the games.”

“They’re not games, it’s how I feel.”

“Then explain why you feel this way.”

“Explain why I don’t want a man in my life?”

He dropped my wrist and I folded my arms over my chest.

“Yes, that would be a good place to start.”

I shrugged. “What do you want me to say? That I’m not attracted to you?”

“That’s a lie because I know you’re attracted to me. I can tell by the way you look at me. By the way your body reacts when I touch you. By the way you call my name on a breathless pant whenever I give you what you really need.”

I sighed and shivered at the same time, goose bumps rising on my flesh at the memories. “Rick, what do you want from me?”

“The truth.”

“But why does it matter so much?”

He reached for my arms, unfolded them and grasped my hands in his enormous palms. “Because I haven’t felt like this in years.”

“What do you mean?”

“I’ve never been so desperate to spend time with someone, to see them smile and get to know everything about them. You fascinate me, you’re a challenge.” He paused. “A wild thing.”

I stared up into his earnest face. “But that’s just it. You don’t know me so how can you think you want those things from me?”

“Because when I’m with you the need to touch you is a gravitational pull and when I’m not with you I’m plotting how I can see you again, how I can spend time with you.” He dragged in a deep breath. “Each bit of information about yourself you release is a piece of treasure, something I store away and bring out at night and think about.” He released my right hand and placed the pad of his thumb beneath my chin. “And every time your sexy little body has responded to mine it’s chipped away at the loneliness in my life.”

My heart was swelling in my chest and my breathing tight. “But, Rick, if you really knew what had happened in my past you wouldn’t feel that way, I promise. You might think you want me but you wouldn’t, you don’t really.” How could he? My beginnings had been demeaning and my first steps into the world sordid.

“Don’t tell me I don’t want you,” he said in a low rumbling voice as his lips brushed mine. “And who hasn’t got a past, Dana? Everyone has a past.”

I licked my lips and drew in his intoxicating flavor.

“Take me, for example,” he said. “My past is biting me on the butt big-time. Laurie Sharp was one hell of a mistake.”

“She would have put a lot of men off women for life.”

He gave a naughty smirk. “Baby, I like women far too much to be put off by one psycho.”

I glanced away. “But Laurie was one night, one mistake.”

He sighed. “Yeah, one shitty lapse of judgment.”

I reached up and rested my hand on his upper arm, letting the strength and the heat of him seep onto my palm. It was awful that he was living with this shadow—a shadow of hate, madness and revenge. I wished I could magic it all away for him and take the distress out of his beautiful eyes.

“If I tell you something, can you keep it to yourself?” he asked quietly. His brows pulled low and his arms wound around my waist but he didn’t hold me close, he just kept me trapped.

“Of course.”


He sucked in a breath. “My agent will kill me for this but I want to tell you, I want you to understand about my past.”

I tipped my head. “Why would he kill you?”

“Because, as I told you, he’s trying to set me up working with kids, being an example and all that. It would make things awkward if this came out during the negotiations.”

“Then I promise I’ll never say anything.”

He dragged in a deep breath. “Back in my teens I spent some time in juvie.”

“You did? What for?” Rick behind bars, I couldn’t imagine it, couldn’t believe it.

He swallowed and I was aware of him tensing beneath my touch. “I fell into the wrong crowd. We took to running around at night, looking for a bit of trouble or a bit of cash, both if we could.” He paused. “One night we spotted a second floor apartment with the window open. I was the youngest but also the tallest, so I was sent up on the fence and ordered in.” His eyes narrowed. “I handed down what I could—TV, stereo, kitchen stuff, a jewelry box. I felt like shit about it but the others were shouting me on, encouraging me to get more. We would have a great time spending the cash on beer and some smokes. I was the hero of the night.”

“So what happened?”

“Sirens, a whole pile of cops and my so-called pals ran like the hounds of hell were after them. Trouble was, I didn’t get out quick enough and four cops were waiting for me as I dropped to the ground. They hauled my bad little ass off to the station and screamed the riot act at me.”

“Rick, that’s awful, didn’t you tell them it was peer pressure?”

He laughed without humor. “That doesn’t wash when you’re seventeen, Dana. It was my own stupid fault and my own sorry mess.” He stared at the wall over my shoulder. “No one in my family had the cash to pay my bail and, to cut a long story short, I got locked up for a few months. It was a shit time in my life, the worst probably, but it did make me sit back and think. Made me decide what I wanted to do.”

“And were you skating then?”

“Yes, I was on the local team, messing about, hitting pucks whenever I could be bothered to show up. I enjoyed it, I was good at it, so I decided it could be more, a bigger part of my life. Luckily my coach felt the same, and when I got out he was happy to give me a second chance.” He shrugged. “The rest is history.”

“You mean your rise to fame and fortune?”

“Yeah, my rise to fame and fortune.” His gaze harnessed mine. “But I’m still looking for one thing.”

“What’s that?”

“What a few of my teammates have found. Someone to spend time with, have fun with, get to know. Not some groupie who hangs around the bars near the rink hoping to score a hockey player, and certainly not some crazy stalker woman who sends me freaky letters and stuff. Someone nice and normal, someone who makes me smile and who makes me think about them when we’re not together.” His voice dropped low. “Someone who makes me so damn hot I feel as if I’ve been dropped in a volcano whenever she walks into a room.”

“I don’t think that’s me,” I said, shaking my head.

But I wish it was, ’cause he’s making me so hot I’m about to combust.

“Let me be the judge of that,” he whispered. “Because I’m sure whatever is bothering you has been blown out of proportion. We all have broken parts of ourselves we hide, but trust me enough to tell me, please.” His mouth pressed against mine, soft and gentle but with more than a hint of determination.

He clearly wasn’t going to let up and I owed him an explanation after what he’d just shared with me. I should get it over with and tell him my story, brace myself for his disgust that I wasn’t the woman he presumed or with the background he imagined. The sooner the agony of him cutting me from his life was over the better, because one more damn kiss like this and I was going to be hooked. Well and truly hooked. I broke the kiss. “Okay,” I murmured. “I’ll tell you, I’ll tell you why I’m not the one for you.”

His gaze snared mine. A flash of triumph seared through his eyes.

My heartbeat trebled, and it was already going some to begin with. I’d never told anyone in my new life this, not even Maddie. “You were right, I do know Tina.”

He gave the barest of nods.

Beads of sweat were forming in my cleavage. I was nervous, terrified, but also a part of me was longing to be free of my secret now that I’d made the decision to divulge it. “I used to work with her.”

His expression was unreadable.

“At Mackay’s and Monte Carlo’s, downtown,” I went on.

“Clubs?”

“Yes, clubs.”

“What were you? Management or something?”

I shook my head.

“Waitress, bar staff?”

“No, Rick.” I braced my spine and tilted my chin, tried to keep the quiver from my voice. “I was a dancer, a pole dancer, a lap dancer, whatever type of dancing was required by the patrons. That was me, I did it all.”

His eyes widened.

“What you saw in there tonight.” I flung my hand in the direction of the cinema. “That used to be me. I would slide around a pole practically naked and then take money into my underwear.”

His chest puffed up as he pulled in a long breath. “Fuck, that’s some horny image you just created in my head.”

I narrowed my eyes. “You don’t get it, do you?” I slipped from him and rubbed my temples with my fingers. “It’s not just the dancing.”

He tilted his head. “You’ve lost me.”

“It was the lifestyle, the seedy clubs, the never-ending parties with drugs and gangs and…guns.”

He stood with his feet hip-width apart and shoved his hands deep into his jeans pockets.

“I wasn’t the person you see now. I was living hard, playing hard, taking what I could. I was considered a lowlife, society scum by everyone, including myself. But this Dana,” I swiped my hands down my body, “is new Dana. In-control businesswoman, astute, self-aware, independent.”

He pulled his hand from his pocket and raked it through his hair.

“And so what you think you want isn’t real, Rick. I’ve invented myself to be this person. Despite having parents who were glad to see the back of me, I was lucky enough to find a way out of the life I’d fallen into. If I hadn’t I would still be living hand-to-mouth and waking up with dealers who keep their stash and their weapons on the bedside table.”

He stared at me, those swirling chocolate eyes so dark they were almost black.

My breath shuddered as though it might dissolve into sobs. “I should go,” I said, grabbing my purse and stepping toward the door. The words were out there, they couldn’t be taken back. Clearly he was as shocked and repulsed as I’d known he would be.

“Wait,” he said.

I sped up my movements.

“Dana.” He circled my waist with his arms and my back connected with solid muscle. “Wait.”

“No, Rick, please let me go.” Sharp tears nipped my eyes. “You don’t have to say anything, but I just ask that you keep what I told you to yourself, the way I will your secret.”

“What do you think I am, fucking stupid?” he asked hotly against my ear. He gripped me tighter and I squirmed against him.

“I have to go.”

“Like hell you do.”

“Rick.”

“You really think that I’m such a hypocrite as to not still want you because you danced in clubs and hung out with the wrong crowd? Jesus, don’t you see it just makes us alike?”

I stopped wriggling.

“We’ve both got a past, histories we’re none too proud of, but we’ve risen out of it, worked damn hard and come through the other end.” His lips pressed against my hair, his breath hot and hard on my neck. “It just makes me admire you all the more to know you worked your cute little butt off to turn your life around, to make it what you wanted it to be.”

He spun me in his arms and my breasts crushed against his chest. “I find independence and determination amazing qualities,” he said in a low, gruff voice. “And I find honesty and mutual trust the sweetest aphrodisiac of all.” As if to prove his point, he pressed his steely erection into my stomach.

I looked into his face, searching for signs that he was lying, that he was telling me what he thought I wanted to hear. I was greeted with nothing but the naked truth. His gaze burned with a heady combination of need and respect, desire and admiration.

“I don’t care what you did in the past,” he said. “I accept it about you the way you so readily accepted what I’ve done. Why should it be different for you, Dana? Why shouldn’t you be afforded the same understanding?”

I was falling for him. Falling fast and hard. My armor dropping away as he eased my fears and regrets and surrounded me with strength and kindness and a male sexuality so potent, so addictive, I didn’t know if I would ever get enough.

“Don’t look at it as a negative—hard work and determination is a good thing, a positive,” he murmured, his mouth just skimming mine. “So please, stop fighting, stop fighting us, ’cause we could be great together.”

I curled my hands around the nape of his neck and pulled him into a kiss, a kiss that was desperate and hot and spoke a thousand words. I couldn’t keep up this damn fight another second. I wanted him, needed him. We already knew we were great together.

He responded with enthusiasm, sliding his hands down my back, cupping my butt and hoisting me into the air.

Locking my legs around his waist, I clung to the compact muscle and tendons of his shoulders. Feeling tiny in his embrace, I fed off him, devoured him, writhed against his body seeking closer connection.

“Stay with me tonight?” he asked breathlessly. “Please, don’t go. I want to hold you, make love to you, wake up with you.”

“Yes,” I said, fisting the soft material of his shirt. “Yes, I want that, too, I want you to make love to me. I want you to make love to me knowing who I am.”

He was walking toward the staircase. “Oh, I know who you are, wild thing, and I know just what you need. I’m going to make you so damn ecstatic you’ll need to be peeled from the ceiling.”

He took the stairs two at a time.