Chapter Ten
His father’s voice was still ringing in his ears as Axel drove to the den. He’d known he was in for it from the heavy silence that had followed the omega’s matchmaking session at the end of the Gathering. The idea was to prepare prospective couples for the following year’s Gathering. What it had unintentionally done for Axel was break the news he’d been planning to tell them as soon as he got home. That he and Jessa weren’t going to be mates and that he and Joe were.
The shouting had started as soon as they’d gotten in the door, their bags still in their hands. He’d listened in silence, hoping that once his father got all the anger out, he’d be ready to listen. His father had listened as Axel had calmly, if haltingly, explained that he and Jessa had agreed they weren’t right for each other and that he was still in love with Joe, a connection even the omegas could see. Shane had blown that off like it was nothing, laying down an ultimatum; that Axel wasn’t to see Joe again and that he was to mate a woman of Shane’s choosing.
“No.”
It had been one word, spoken quietly, but the effect was like thunder, silencing everything. His father’s next words had been bitter and twisted.
“Get out. Don’t step foot in this pack again until you’re ready to live by my rules.”
Axel had simply turned back around, bag in hand, and left. His brother Dex had followed him out, tried to make him see reason, but as far as Axel was concerned, he was the reasonable one. He’d returned to the Cove, only to find Joe had already left for River Den.
Seth had welcomed him with open arms and buckets of understanding. His and Seth’s fathers hadn’t been too different. But now Seth was alpha of his pack and master of his own destiny. Axel longed for that kind of control. Maybe he had it now that he’d left, but at what cost? Never seeing his family and his pack again? It seemed like such a huge thing until he thought about Joe. Beautiful, brave Joe who’d left his pack behind and made a life for himself among strangers when the life they were foisting on him was no longer bearable.
Pulling in at the bridge, he found it had already been raised. Joe was waiting for him on the other side, as was Cade, Hunter, Ollie, and a handful of others. He parked and got out, grabbing his bag from the passenger seat. There was no use pretending he was only visiting.
“Well?” Joe asked.
Axel shrugged. “He went nuclear, as anticipated. I…”
He turned to Hunter and Cade, knowing the decision was partially in their hands. “I seem to be in need of a home. And your den has the advantage of already having the shifter I want to mate with.”
“You’re very welcome,” Cade said. Hunter went a step further, pulling him into a hug. “The den is lucky to have you. And your dad is an idiot.”
“I think we all suspected, but we were too polite to say anything,” he quipped, but the joke fell flat.
He turned to Joe next, setting his bag down and waiting. Joe took a half step toward him and hesitated. Axel threw open his arms and Joe launched himself forward, wrapping around him as they hugged. Axel buried his face in Joe’s neck, scenting him, and felt the weight lift from his shoulders. This was exactly where he was meant to be.
“Where’s your roommate?” Axel asked, following Joe into his house.
“He moved to live with his mate a few weeks ago.”
“So, we have the place to ourselves?” Axel grinned as Joe slowly turned to face him. The beta bit his bottom lip, his cheeks flushing.
“You should get settled in,” he croaked. “You can have Henry’s old room.”
Axel didn’t balk at the implication that they were sleeping in separate beds. Joe wanted to take it slow, so they’d take it slow. He stepped into the room Joe had pointed him toward. He set his bag down on the bed.
“We can do some decorating if you like,” Joe offered and Axel turned to see him standing in the doorway.
Axel glanced around at the room, holding out his arms and framing the wall with his hands. “I’m seeing a mural, wolves and bears and every shifter under the rainbow.”
“In your bedroom?”
The frown on Joe’s face was endearing.
“Why, where were you thinking?”
“The outside wall maybe. It’s the kind of thing the kids here would love.”
“There are other things I’d like to paint on too,” Axel threw in.
“Like canvas?”
“I was thinking more like you.”
“You want to paint a picture of me?”
Axel stepped closer, reaching to trace one finger across Joe’s cheek. “I want to paint you. I want you to be my canvas.”
Joe’s eyes fluttered closed and Axel stroked his cheek again.
The beta took a deep breath and opened his eyes. “I think we should talk.”
It was like a bucket of cold water thrown over him. His breath came out in a whoosh and his hand dropped to his side.
“Oh. We can do that.”
He went back to the bed and sat down.
“It doesn’t have to be now,” Joe said.
“No time like the present. Shoot.”
Joe took two steps into the room, then stopped, shuffling his feet. The seconds ticked by, neither of them speaking. Just when Axel was about to break what had become an awkward silence, Joe started to talk, words tumbling from his mouth. Clearly, it was something he’d been hanging onto for a while.
“I need to make sure you know that it’s not just your pack you’re giving up if you choose me as your mate. I can’t give you babies, you’ll never have little wolves running around, your own little pack to lead. And you won’t ever get your wolf back, especially now your brother has mated with Kelly.”
Joe trailed off, looking like he was ready to have his heart broken, again. Axel patted the bed next to him, waiting until Joe moved, perching beside him.
“Why do you think I’m here, Joe? Serious question.”
“You like me. You hate your dad.”
“The first time I saw you. I mean, really saw you, was on the beach at the Cove. I was fifteen and you were fourteen. You and your brother were inseparable. He was the talker and you were this shy guy hanging back and everyone seemed to just look past you. But then Logan dislocated his shoulder jumping off the cliffs and you took charge. This little scrap of a guy and you’re ordering everyone around and, what’s more, they’re listening. After that, I couldn’t help but notice you. But my dad was… well, you know my dad. I kept hoping he’d mellow or I’d stop feeling the way I felt. And then I decided I didn’t care and he decided he did. And I tried. Tried to be the son he wanted, tried to forget what I felt for you. But those feelings won’t go away and you know why?”
Joe shook his head, watching him with wide eyes.
“Because they’re real. They’re not hormones or a stupid teenage crush. It’s straight up love. As for the rest; you don’t miss what you’ve never had. I’ve never been able to shift, and if I die never having shifted, I can live with that. But I don’t want to live my life without you.”
“And kids?”
Axel looked down at his hands, taking a deep breath.
“Sure, there’s a part of me that would like them, just as I know a part of you would like them, too. But I want you, I want the life I’ll have with you, whatever that turns out to be. It’s not a sacrifice. This is the life I want. A life with you at its center.”
When he glanced back up, there were tears tracking slowly Joe’s face even as the beta tried to smile at him. “I feel the same way.”
Relief flooded him, and he grabbed for Joe, pulling the beta into his arms. “Then what are we waiting for?”