CHAPTER FOURTEEN

 

AIDEN FOUND ME on the kitchen floor in tears. He leaned forward and helped me to my feet. “Lynnie, you cannot keep living this way. Please reconsider my offer to return to the court.”

Even if I was willing to subject my daughter to the potential risk of constant enchanted food, it was likely that she would only be partially fae and not able to survive the ethereal plane for any significant length of time as she grew. I’m not ready to risk her being there unless I have no other choice

“I can’t. What if he comes home?”

“You have to realize that even if he does return, he will no longer be the man you married.”

“You think I’m being ridiculous, don’t you?” I could understand his logic. People lost their husbands every day and didn’t let their whole world fall apart because of it. But I didn’t care because I deserved to be upset. We’d fought so long and so hard to get to where we were and then one stupid accident had swept it all away. It just wasn’t fair. I wanted to scream at the world until I destroyed my voice and shattered the sky. I would have if I thought it would bring him back to me.

“On the contrary, I think you’re being very brave under the circumstances. No one expects this to be easy. We just expect you to allow us to assist you from time to time.”

Just like his words suggested, Aiden refused to leave as I packed the groceries away. Working side by side, I took comfort in the fact that someone was near me, even if it wasn’t the someone I needed. His quiet companionship allowed me the space I needed to think over the events of the day, and of the past few weeks. I knew he was trying to give me the freedom I needed to process everything that had happened that morning, but eventually the curiosity became too much for him, and he began to question me on what I’d told Ethan.

He’d heard my half of the conversation but wanted to know more about my encounter with the strange cat-like person. After I’d told him what I knew, he began to drill me for information, wanting to know height, age, everything about the man’s appearance.

“I only saw him for a minute,” I said, squeezing my eyes shut as exhaustion overwhelmed me. “I’ve told you everything I know. He was tall with olive skin, black hair and gold eyes. I don’t know what more you want.”

“Was it a gradual change or a sudden shift when he transformed into the cat?”

“Instant,” I said, amazed that the question didn’t even seem strange to me. It was probably a sure sign that I’d been forced to live a life of oddity for too long.

“It sounds like a púca,” Aiden said after considering everything I’d told him about the strange man.

The conversation where Ethan had imparted the terrible news about Clay sprung to mind. “That’s what Ethan said they were hunting in Alaska.”

“The shapeshifter?”

“Yeah, Ethan called it a púca. Do you think it’s the same one?” It seemed too much of a coincidence that both Clay and I would have random encounters with the same type of creature and the instances not be related. Especially when the one who’d found me was talking about rain, possibly even the Rain.

“The púca didn’t attempt to hurt you, did he?”

“No, but . . . I don’t know, Aiden, it just feels like I’m missing some part of the bigger picture here. There are pieces that don’t quite fit.” And another piece that’s missing entirely.

Neither Aiden nor I had any answers. He suggested going to the court to find out more about púca, but I didn’t want to leave the house, and I wasn’t certain that I wanted to be alone yet. I worried that the instant I was by myself, the sliver of sanity I’d been able to gather would fall to pieces.

Unwilling to crumble again, I forced him to stay by my side. Even the idea of him heading back to get something enchanted to allow me to travel with him, was enough to cause a quiver in my hands. I was still rattled over my encounter with the strange cat-man and the car I’d seen three times in the space of an hour. Eventually he relented, and we moved from the kitchen and sat together on the sofa in silence.

“Fiona should be informed of this new information,” Aiden murmured.

I nodded in agreement. “She should. It might help.” I stopped myself from saying “find Clay” because the fae’s goal for finding him was different to my own. They wanted to limit any damage he could cause; I wanted to bring him home to me.

“Please would you return to the court with me?” Aiden asked. “Even if the stay is only one night, I would feel more relaxed knowing that you were surrounded by family. I shall even stay while another guard returns home for the enchanted food.”

“You’re not going to let me say no, are you?”

“Consider this, I need to discuss some of the things you have revealed with Fiona and yet you do not want me to leave. It is not reasonable to expect me to both stay and leave.”

“Are you trying to say you think I’m being crazy?” I asked with a raised eyebrow.

“I would not dare to say any such thing,” he answered pragmatically but with eyes that told me he wasn’t being serious.

Just as I was about to agree, his demeanor shifted suddenly.

“What was that?” he asked.

“What?”

He was already climbing from the sofa and pacing toward the window. He turned back to me and pressed his finger against his lips.

I followed behind him as he stalked silently from room to room searching for the source of a sound he’d obviously heard. When he walked into to the nursery, I stayed in the hall. I still hadn’t been able to enter that room since the moment I’d been told Clay was missing—it was too great a reminder of what I’d lost.

I told myself that would change once the baby came, but I knew the truth was that I’d probably set up a bassinet next to my bed and not let my daughter out of my sight. Standing in front of the door, I could close my eyes and easily picture the pink furniture Clay had painstakingly built during the time that he was actually home and the hand carved letters that spelled out our selected name, Ava, above the crib.

Turning away from the door to the nursery so that my gaze didn’t have to linger over all the painful details, I saw a figure standing in the doorway to the living room. Instantly, my mind leaped to the Caelan, my Shadowy stalker, even though I knew he was dead. Then the outline of the man became clear, and it was one so familiar that I couldn’t help the surprised gasp that left my lips.

“Clay,” I whispered with disbelief. I must be hallucinating after everything that happened today.

He began to advance on me, each step taken with careful consideration. I reached out for him, still not trusting my eyes. His gaze met mine and suddenly I knew—he was real. He was actually there, standing right in front of me. Before I could even smile at his return, it became clear that he didn’t recognize me. The steely expression he wore as he glared at me was the personification of the hunter I’d feared for so many years before learning the truth about who was hunting me.

“You’re the phoenix,” he hissed. Hatred flashed in his eyes as he took another step and pulled a gun from a holster on his back. With a cool confidence, he flicked the safety off and raised his arm to aim it at my head.

“Oh God,” I whispered, covering my mouth with my hand in horror.

“Lynnie, are you—” Aiden didn’t finish his question when he saw Clay. Instead, he sprinted over the short distance toward Clay, tackling him around his waist, sending them both crashing to the floor. The gun fired and the shot pierced the door to the nursery beside me.

“Get off me, fairy!” Clay shouted as Aiden worked at subduing him.

I watched on helplessly as the two wrestled. Despite knowing about Clay’s fate, seeing the lack of recognition as he looked at me was more painful than I’d ever imagined it would be, surpassing even my worst nightmares.

“This can’t be happening,” I murmured.

Clay’s gaze shot up to me when I’d spoken, and he was so focused on me that Aiden soon gained control and pinned him to the floor, forcing his cheek hard against the carpet.

When it was clear Aiden had the upper hand, for the moment at least, Clay started shouting obscenities about Aiden and me. Tears sprung to my eyes at the hatred that spewed from the lips that he’d once used to kiss me so sweetly.

“Lynnie, snap out of it and help me!” Aiden growled as Clay struggled underneath him.

Shaking myself out of my stupor, I crossed to the hall cupboard where Clay always kept a bag of hunting supplies. I ripped everything out until I found the rope that I knew was in there. By the time I returned, Aiden had Clay’s arms gathered in front of him and was pulling him roughly toward the kitchen.

“Don’t hurt him,” I said as Aiden manhandled Clay toward a chair and forced him to sit.

“Just tie his arms,” Aiden said calmly. “I will feel exponentially better when he is unable to attempt to shoot at you again.”

“I don’t think—” I stopped myself from saying anything more when Aiden cast me a warning glare. I knelt down behind Clay and secured his arms together behind the back of the chair, being cautious not to tie them too tightly. Despite the fact that Aiden seemed to view him as a threat, I couldn’t risk hurting Clay.

“Lynnie, I think you should head outside and leave me alone with our guest for a few moments,” Aiden murmured, shooting a dark glance in Clay’s direction. “I need to gather some information from him.”

“No,” I said. “I’m not leaving you alone with him, not while you’ve got that look in your eye.”

Clay struggled against his ropes. “Do your worst,” he hissed at Aiden.

“You won’t hurt him,” I warned Aiden. “Go see if you can get hold of Ethan and let him know what’s happened.”

Aiden seemed reluctant to leave me with Clay, but wisely chose to follow my instruction.

“Welcome home,” I murmured as I watched Clay struggle against his ropes.

“Did you say something, freak?” he shot back at me.

I stepped backward away from him, the word wounding me in more ways than it was probably intended. He doesn’t remember what that word represents.

“Was that you in the car, following me?” I asked as I recalled the red Dodge.

He sneered at me. “I don’t have to answer any of your questions.”

“And the phone calls?”

His movements stilled slightly, and he narrowed his eyes as he stared at me. “You threatened my life,” he hissed, confirming my suspicions.

“I didn’t know it was you! If I had—”

“What if you had?” he interrupted me. “Would you have used your special insults instead of your regular ones? Or would you have tried to ensnare me like you have my brother?”

“Is your memory really so far gone?” I asked with a strained voice. Broaching the subject of whether he remembered me would have to wait until I knew more about his state of mind. Fiona and Aiden had been right about one thing, he wasn’t the same man I’d seen leave a few weeks earlier. “Aiden warned me this might happen after your . . . accident, but I never imagined it would be so absolute.”

“He was right!” he growled. “It was you.”

“Who was right?” I asked. “What was me?”

“Don’t play dumb! I know this is your fault.”

“I’m not playing anything. I just want answers.” I just want you back.

“Let me loose and I’ll give you more than that.”

“Clay, please,” I pleaded. I was certain my voice was dripping with every ounce of my desperation.

“Don’t you dare use my name!” he said. His eyes flashed with anger as he looked at me. The glare hurt almost as much as his use of the one word that could inflict pain on me.

“Why are you doing this to me?” I cried.

“Maybe you should ask yourself that same question, freak.”

“Tell me what’s happening? I don’t understand.” I knelt in front of Clay and brushed his hair from his eyes. After flinching away from my touch, he struggled against the ropes that held him in place and panted in anger as he met my gaze. Aiden hadn’t specified what the fae had tried to rekindle memories in those who’d been infected by the water of the River Lethe, but I decided I would try anything, no matter how crazy it might seem.

From the depths of my memory, I found one thing from stories when I was younger. It worked for Snow White and Sleeping Beauty. Surely with the sunbird’s help—even if she was now sleeping—and the entwined auras, the same thing could reawaken Clay’s memories. Leaning closer to him, I closed my eyes and pressed my lips softly against his. True loves kiss, the most powerful force in the world.

He stopped struggling against his bonds the instant our lips met. I pulled away from him sooner than I would have liked, with a lump in my throat and a desperate hope that it had worked beating through my body with every thump of my heart. For a second of silent stillness, I thought maybe it had worked.

“Nice try, sweetheart,” he snapped, “but next time add a little tongue.” He renewed his struggle against the ropes.

“It didn’t work,” I whispered as I pushed myself back onto my feet and stepped away from him.

“What did you expect, Lynnie?” Aiden asked, having obviously witnessed my moment of madness. “This is not some child’s story. There is no cure for memory loss caused by the River Lethe. It is designed to obliterate the memories of even the longest lifetimes so that the dead don’t go mad seeking their past lives.”

“That doesn’t mean I can’t try,” I hissed as tears pricked at my eyes.

Aiden shot Clay a look of mistrust. “Can we please talk in the other room?”

Glancing back at Clay, at the anger-filled stares he cast my way as he struggled against the knots I’d tied, I nodded. Aiden and I moved to stand in the opening that led to the living room.

“I appreciate that the man in there appears to be the man you love, and I understand that this is difficult to comprehend, but your Clay is lost. He is gone. Forever.” Aiden spoke slowly, explaining it to me as if I was a child unwilling to listen to a simple instruction. It was enough to heat my blood, even if that was no longer enough to cause Aiden any damage.

“There is no way to retrieve him from the abyss he has sunken into,” Aiden continued. “I know it seems a terrible thing to consider, but it is a fact. You must realize that he is an obvious threat to you.”

“I still don’t think he is,” I murmured in defiance to his tone and his words.

“He tried to shoot you!” Aiden whisper-shouted. “Or did you fail to obverse that little instrument of death he had in his hands earlier, the one that left a sizable hole in your unborn daughter’s door.”

“He’s confused; he’s not evil.”

“I am not claiming he is, but he clearly believes you to be. You should tread carefully around him. We all should. For now, we need to get him back to the safety of the court and see what we can do from there.”

“I know the real him,” I said, “and the real him wouldn’t hurt me. Memories or not.”

“Do not stake your life on it.” He dropped his eyes to my stomach. “Or hers.”

“There’s one thing I don’t understand,” I admitted. “If you’re right and he doesn’t remember anything, why’d he come back here?”

“Who could say for certain?”

“Surely it means that some of his memories are still around? Somewhere deep inside him, he must remember, right?”

Aiden sighed. “You cannot think that way, Lynnie. I am certain it is just a coincidence.” His eyes betrayed his true thoughts, he didn’t think that at all, but neither did he think Clay had any memories.

“You think someone directed him here?” I asked.

He nodded and his expression became sorrowful. “What else could it be? You said yourself that there is a piece of the puzzle that just doesn’t quite fit into place. Maybe whoever was controlling the púca has led them both back here to launch an attack on you.”

“But what if it’s not?” I knew I was grasping at straws, but I didn’t care. Part of me believed that somewhere inside this stranger that Clay had become was the man I loved, and I wasn’t willing to let go of that hope. Seeing him alive and in person sent the flames of my love burning hotter than ever, and I wasn’t willing to toss water over them just because the fae thought I should. “What if he does remember? What if I can make him? We’ve been through worse than this before.”

“Please refrain yourself from feeling hope prematurely, because it is very apparent to me that there is nothing left of the man you knew in the one tied to that chair. The Clay I have come to know would never have even raised a gun in your direction, let alone fired one.”

I knew Aiden was just looking out for my best interest, but I still bristled at his words. I didn’t want to accept them—it meant accepting that my life as I knew it was over. I would have to start a new chapter and while I logically knew it was possible for me to go on alone, my heart didn’t want to listen to logic. It wanted the family I’d been promised—both Clay and my daughter.

“I do need to question Clay. It is necessary for us to learn what he knows, how he found you and why he came,” Aiden said after allowing me a few seconds to absorb his last words. Then he placed his hand on my arm. “I promise, however, that I will be gentle.”

“Thank you.”

When we returned to the kitchen, an empty chair and an open back door greeted us.

“Clay,” I whispered, hoping my near-silent voice would somehow carry to him and draw him home to me again.

“This is not good,” Aiden said. He moved to close and lock the rear door before checking all of the windows and the front door were secure. “This is not good at all.”

“He came here once, maybe he will again.”

“That is precisely what concerns me.”

“Why?”

“Lynnie, I am uncertain how to simplify it for you other than to point out, once again, that he tried to shoot you and quite likely would have killed you without a second thought if I had not been there to tackle him.”

“He wouldn’t have shot me. I just startled him,” I said, even though I didn’t really believe it. I’d seen the hatred in his eyes as he’d looked at me; clearly something—or someone—had made him believe that I was a threat. If I can talk to him, I can make him see reason.

Almost instantly, the fae guard scrambled to install more security and protections. I still wasn’t entirely sure it was necessary. I was certain I could get Clay to see reason if only I could spend some time with him. The only thing the increased security did was increase my own anxiety. I was no longer comfortable in my own house. Worse, I worried that they would hurt Clay if he returned. If Aiden’s attitude was indicative of the others, they were likely to kill Clay first and try to ask questions later.

Despite the buzz of activity around me, or maybe because of it, I wanted more than ever to be left alone. I couldn’t stand to break down in front of any of the fae guards. Once the guards were certain Clay had left the property, Aiden insisted I travel with him to the court. I wanted to refuse, but I realized that the temptation for Clay to return would be lessened if I was away from the house. As desperately as I wanted him back by my side, I hoped he’d stay away from the house. Away from harm.

I agreed to return to the court, but only until Ethan arrived back home. Leaving Aiden pacing in the living room with an enchanted iced-mocha, I went to my bedroom to pack a bag for my stay in the court. Seeing Clay’s items around our room caused tears to prick my eyes. I sat on the bed and grabbed his pillow, bringing it to my nose. Because I’d been using it myself, it barely smelled of him anymore, but I hoped to draw some lingering comfort from it as my tears began to fall. I pressed my face against the soft down and allowed it to muffle my sobs.

A soft meow drew my attention away from my wallowing. I followed the sound until I saw a black cat with glowing golden eyes resting on the grass outside my window.

“It’s you,” I murmured. “Did you follow me home? Or did Clay bring you?”

I knew I should have been afraid of the cat, and of the man inside the cat, but he knew something about Clay—I was certain of it. If I was right about the púca, and he could give me information about Clay’s whereabouts, I didn’t want Aiden to know because he seemed more concerned about capturing Clay and eliminating the threat than returning him to me.

“Lynnie, have you finished packing?” Aiden asked as he opened the door without knocking.

The cat—the púca—ran off at the sound of his voice. I wanted to follow him and demand answers, but I couldn’t do that without letting Aiden know what I was chasing. I might have owed Aiden for everything he’d done for me, but I wouldn’t let him hurt Clay. If he did, I would never be able to forgive him.