CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

 

“GET AWAY FROM her, you monster!” Aiden’s voice called out as he ran from the front door though to where I lay in the kitchen.

He came to a stop when he saw the no doubt gruesome scene before him on the kitchen floor. I could only imagine what the image of Clay kneeling beside me, the knife at his feet, with both of us bloodied and battered would appear to Aiden, especially if he’d encountered the guards outside.

“Put the baby down,” he growled at Clay as soon as he noticed the swaddled bundle.

“It’s okay,” I panted through the pain. “He’s not hurting me or our son.”

“There’s something wrong with her,” Clay uttered with his eyes locked onto me and not on the new threat in the room.

“What’s wrong?” Mackenzie asked as she followed Aiden into the room. I was surprised to see her there considering her fear of leaving the court, but it was the least of my concerns. Her eyes fell immediately onto me. “Oh, she’s crowning.”

“But the baby’s here,” Clay said.

Mackenzie met his gaze. “She’s crowning again then,” she stated plainly.

“Twins?” Aiden asked incredulously, looking between the little boy in Clay’s arms and me.

The word made me think of Clay’s siblings, which reminded me that one was outside, in danger just because he was protecting me.

“Ethan,” I said suddenly. “He’s outside, he might be . . . hurt.” I couldn’t say the other word—the “D” word—it just wasn’t possible regardless of what Clay had said. “The others too.”

“There are healers with them now,” Aiden said before shooting an enraged glare in Clay’s direction. “Luckily, your púca friend saw what happened and followed the fairy rings to raise the alarm. He’s back at the court now, in a holding room until we can determine whether he is friend or foe.”

In order to calm down the atmosphere, Mackenzie gave Aiden a list of things she needed, before quickly setting to work to deliver the second baby. With a gentle voice, she guided me through the contractions and pushing. “We’ll have to get you straight back to the court, delivering twins can be very dangerous and we’ll need to ensure you’ve had a proper check-up afterward. Besides, I’m sure the two of you will want to clean up.” She offered a tight smile to Clay.

I wasn’t going to argue. After everything that had just happened, I wasn’t going to take any chances on my safety—or that of my children. I was also going to ensure that Clay didn’t leave my sight, his concern for me was evident every time his gaze met mine, and I grew more certain by the passing minute that his memories had returned—that he was really back.

A little over ten minutes later, I held our second child in my arms. A girl. The little girl I’d pictured. She was warm—warmer than I’d expected after holding my son—but Mackenzie didn’t seem concerned by the heat, so I decided I didn’t need to be worried either, at least not yet. The instant she was born, the heat in my own limbs had evaporated, leaving me with a cold chill racing through my veins. In that moment, I knew that the sunbird was no longer part of me, she’d moved on to her next host. To Ava.

Mackenzie cleared away the bulk of the mess while I watched my daughter’s eyes open. Bright lilac irises that seemed to shine brightly met mine, and I couldn’t help but smile.

“Little Ava,” I murmured, testing out the name Clay and I had selected for her months earlier. “She’s perfect isn’t she, Clay? They both are.”

Before he had a chance to respond, three more guards entered our house and Aiden held his hands out to Clay.

“Give me the baby,” Aiden said sharply. “I’ll make sure he gets to the court healers with Lynnie so that he can be checked out too.”

Clay passed our son across to Aiden without a fight. As much as Aiden’s assumptions about Clay and our son annoyed me, it was probably for the best for Clay to pass him across. I didn’t want our little one accidentally hurt in the crossfire, and I guessed Clay probably saw the same thing.

“Aiden,” I growled, trying to remind him that there was something rather more important happening. “Please listen to me, the Clay in front of you isn’t the same one who attacked the house. He could have killed me, but he didn’t.” I didn’t mention the fact that he’d tried until I’d broken down when I had him pinned beneath me. “In fact, he helped me when no one else was here.”

“Don’t worry about him,” Aiden practically growled. “He’ll be coming back with us as well. We’ll make sure he doesn’t hurt himself—or anyone else.”

Before I had a chance to argue, Clay interjected. “It’s okay,” he murmured. “I’ll go with them.”

“Just promise me that you won’t hurt him, Aiden!”

Aiden appraised me for a moment before giving me a solemn nod.

Mackenzie took Ava from me before offering me a fresh towel to wrap around me and helping me to stand.

“Are you okay to walk?” she asked.

After taking a few tentative steps, I nodded. My kneecaps ached and my insides were fighting to become my outsides, but I was certain I was steady enough on my feet to make it to the court.

“My bag is in the bedroom, together with some clothes,” I said to Aiden. Still cradling my son, he headed into the bedroom. Watching them leave the room, I thought about how much was up in the air now Clay and I had two children. Even something as simple as a name; we’d never even considered boys names.

Aiden returned a moment later with my overnight bag slung over his shoulder. It held everything I needed for a stay at the court if it was necessary and possible after the baby—babies, I corrected myself—were born.

Aiden returned with a bathrobe for me, and I slipped it on as quickly as I could—conscious of how many other people were in the room. Although I needed a shower, Mackenzie was more concerned with getting me into the court healing rooms for a check up.

Clay stepped forward, offering his shoulder to support me as I walked tentatively toward the permanent fairy ring in the forest in our backyard. On one side of us, Mackenzie carried Ava in her arms and on the other Aiden walked with our son cradled in his arms. Instead of watching where I was walking, trusting Clay enough to guide me without letting me stumble, I kept shifting my gaze from side to side to watch them both. Just before we reached the fairy ring, Mackenzie offered me a flask filled with enchanted water and placed a few small drops against Ava’s lips.

I glanced at my son. “What about—”

“He is not in need of any additional enchantments,” Aiden said. “It would appear that he has inherited at least a few of his grandmother’s genes.”

The instant the enchantment took hold on me, I saw what he meant. Just like Clay, our son had a bright aura—unlike Clay’s it was the familiar rainbow of the fledglings rather than singularly blue. I was certain Clay had been able to see it the whole time, and I wondered why he hadn’t mentioned it. My own aura remained unchanged, even though the sunbird was with Ava. It reminded me of my mother’s words that I’d heard after fighting off the wendigo in Tennessee—although the sunbird was a distinct entity, she was also ingrained deep in my DNA. I watched mesmerized by Ava’s aura, dancing oranges and reds just like mine, but with the tiniest rainbow colored flicker close to her skin.

Why wouldn’t Clay tell me about their auras? Surely he’d think that’s something I’d want to know. I glanced over to him but didn’t voice my concerns. There were other reasons for it after all. Maybe he hadn’t wanted to worry me with everything else that was going on.

I added it to the many unanswered questions I had—highest on the list was exactly how Clay’s memories had returned. Following Aiden and Mackenzie toward the healing rooms of the court, the pain-clouded memory of what had happened ran through my mind. I couldn’t make any sense of it. All I’d done was refuse to kill him before breaking down in front of him. My tears and my fists had both fallen on him, but that hardly seemed like it could have changed anything.

How did any of that bring him back to me?

It didn’t make sense, but I wasn’t about to question it too much either. I just wanted to make sure that our children were healthy and only after I’d been able to confirm that, would I even try to address the other questions I had.

At my insistence, Clay was allowed to wait with me, so long as he agreed to have his hands bound and remain on the other side of the room. I thought he might have argued, but instead he nodded and held his hands out for Aiden to tie. Part of me was shocked by his complacency about it all, but I figured he was as desperate to prove his renewed innocence as I was. Mackenzie went to hand our babies onto another healer to be examined, but I wanted her to do it. It became clear that all of the fae were willing to allow me to call the shots for the moment, and I assumed it was because I had just produced two perfect, unique children who would always be tied to their court.

While Mackenzie tended to my special twins, another healer tended to all of the small cuts over my arms and the wound from the arrow across my left shoulder. I recognized her from my last visit to the healing rooms, but I knew her from before that. She was Willow, the one who’d been in Aiden’s bedroom, the one he’d sent to find me in Massachusetts.

Each time she moved on to another cut, Clay winced and turned his eyes from me momentarily.

“How’s Ethan?” I asked Willow in a tone low enough that Clay couldn’t hear. “And the fae that were guarding my house?”

“They were all quite savagely attacked, but we are confident that they will all make a full recovery now that they are under our care. I’m not sure the prognosis would be quite so positive if the púca had not taken action so quickly upon Clay’s arrival.”

Relief flooded through me, and even though he had no idea what I’d just discovered, I looked over at Clay and offered him a reassuring smile. The guards he’d thought he’d killed would live. His brother would live. Those two facts were wonderful in and of themselves; the added fact that something had returned his memories was almost too perfect to believe. I was certain that the combination of all of those things would mean that Clay wouldn’t be held responsible for his actions.

It wasn’t that I didn’t think the fae guards would want retribution. In fact, I was certain they would. I was just positive that they would understand that Clay wasn’t himself when he attacked them. He hadn’t been thinking clearly—that was evidenced by the fact that he tried to kill me. By helping to safely deliver our son, Clay had redeemed himself absolutely in my mind, and I was willing to accept temporary insanity for the rest. Even the human justice system allowed some leniency for those sorts of things. Surely the fae had similar allowances.

After I showered, had all of my wounds dressed, and consumed a decent amount of enchanted water to speed my healing, Mackenzie brought my babies over to me. She positioned them carefully on a pillow on my raised knees so that I could see them both at the same time.

“Hi, little ones,” I whispered. “I’m your mommy.”

Tears of joy pricked my eyes, and I glanced up at Clay to see if he was as affected by the moment as I did.

He met my gaze with a small, sad smile, and I realized he was missing out on so much by being forced to stand, secured against a bench on the opposite side of the room.

“Mackenzie, this is ridiculous. Can Clay please come to stand by my side? He should be part of this too.” I spoke quietly enough that Clay wouldn’t hear my pleas. “You have to trust me on it, but I know he won’t hurt me.”

She gave me a skeptical glance.

“He could have killed me when I was giving birth, but he didn’t. He helped me. I’m positive he remembers me again.”

“I don’t know,” Mackenzie said, casting a quick glance in Clay’s direction. “Aiden was very clear that Clay wasn’t to be moved from that spot without his direct order.”

“Well then, tell Aiden to get his ass up here and give the order. My husband deserves to spend these first precious moments with our children. Are you really going to deny your niece and nephew the chance to know their father?” I knew my statement was a low blow considering the distance she’d had from her biological father, but I was willing to fight dirty for my family. We’d been through so much—too much—and I wasn’t going to allow the suffering to continue a moment more than it already had.

“How about we get these two fed, and then I’ll talk to Aiden.”

It wasn’t the compromise I wanted, but I realized from her tone that it was the best I was going to get. I nodded, and she lifted Ava from my lap before placing her into Willow’s waiting arms.

Mackenzie then lifted my son into my arms and showed me how to hold him so that I could properly feed him. “It might be a few days before your milk comes in fully, so both the babies will probably want to feed regularly at first.”

I nodded and just enjoyed the strange but wonderful pulling sensation that accompanied providing sustenance to my child. Once he’d fed, Mackenzie took him from me to burp him and Willow placed Ava in my arms. I brushed my fingers across the wispy red curls that rested against her head and was awed by the reality of our situation; she was the first phoenix in countless generations to be held by her mother, at least in our line. The happy tears that had sat just behind my eyes since I’d been handed the babies began to fall as I watched Ava nuzzle contently against my skin. I breathed in and sighed dreamily at the distinctive, new baby smell.

She’s my little miracle. They both are.

Aiden was waiting outside the door for me by the time I’d finished feeding both babies. When I told him it was okay to come in, he completely ignored Clay and came straight to my side.

“I was remiss in saying it earlier due to the madness that was occurring, but congratulations.” He smiled warmly at my dreamy grin.

“Thank you,” I said as I met his eyes. “You should really congratulate Clay as well though.”

Aiden glared over his shoulder at Clay. “I would offer him congratulations if he was truly the Clay who deserved it.”

“He is. Trust me. Something happened back at the house. Yes, at first he attacked me just like he did the guard, but then he stopped. At the moment that I was most helpless, when I was on the floor in labor, he helped me. He could have killed me so easily.”

“An unexpected bout of conscience does not signify the reappearance of the man that you once loved.”

“How can you say that?”

“Experience and knowledge.”

“Well, I believe he’s back and that’s good enough for me,” I snapped. “It should be good enough for you too.”

“You have to consider the option that your desperation for it to be true is the driving force behind that belief.”

“That could be the case,” I said. “But even if his memories haven’t completely returned, something in him changed. Between the first moment he attacked the house and now, he’s changed. He isn’t the same man who attacked the house; he’s the man I love.”

“You are willing to stake your life on this belief?” Aiden asked. “Are you willing to stake the lives of your children as well?”

“Yes, I am. He won’t hurt any of us.”

“Then be it on your head. My decision is that he will be remanded into your care and left under house arrest until he can be assessed by a Tribunal.”

“What will Fiona say about that?” I challenged.

“Fiona has made me responsible for overseeing this particular case for the moment. She is worried that her familiarity with the offender might cloud her judgment.”

“And your familiarity?”

“What familiarity?” he asked with a clear challenge in his tone. “That man is not the cousin I knew, nor the friend that I admired. He is a stranger in our court. A stranger who has attacked our family and should be punished for his deeds, that is all. If it were up to me alone, he would have nothing more to look forward to than the rest of his life in nothingness of the Void.”

“Then I’m glad it’s not up to you alone,” I said. “Because you’re wrong. His memories have returned, and we’ll prove it to you.”

“Nevertheless, he is to remain in your private room until such a time as we can ascertain the facts.”

“Fine,” I snapped.

“Fine,” Aiden replied in a similar tone. “If he leaves the room, his guilt will be instantly assumed, and he will face the relevant punishment. One year in the Void for every fae attacked. In this instance, I am willing to extend the definition of fae to include Ethan and each of your offspring.”

I shuddered as I thought back to Fiona’s description of the Void. The absence of all things, I couldn’t even begin to imagine what that would be like. I tried to put it out of my mind for now—Clay was back and couldn’t be held responsible for his actions under the influence of . . . of whatever the hell he was being influenced by. There were other issues that were more important in the immediate term.

“Are the children going to be okay to stay at the court?” I asked Mackenzie. Aiden’s assertions about changelings being fledglings that were less magical than their counterparts was the reason we’d left the court while I was pregnant.

“Your son will probably flourish in the court. His aura grows stronger by the minute.”

I glanced at him and confirmed her statement with my own eyes—his aura was brighter than it had been when we first arrived.

“What about Ava?”

“She is a young, growing phoenix. We’ve never had one in the court, so I can’t say for certain whether she will thrive or . . .” She trailed off, leaving the thought unfinished. “We’ll have to monitor her regularly and if anything is wrong, we’ll have to ensure she returns to the mortal realm quickly. And of course in the meantime, she’ll need to have a few additional drops of enchanted water with each feed to allow her to remain firmly on the ethereal plane.”

“Okay,” I said after a moment before turning back to Aiden. If Mackenzie was happy that our babies would be okay in the court, I was happy enough to spend some enforced time together as a family in our old room. “Well, if we’re all in agreement, can you please untie my husband’s hands?”

Aiden gave me a weary glance before cutting the ropes around Clay’s wrist. Aiden held the small knife in his fist, the blade pointed in Clay’s direction. “If you hurt her or those precious children, you will wish for death because it will be significantly less painful than the various punishments I can dream up for you.”

“Noted,” Clay said through clenched teeth as he twisted his hands together, no doubt trying to return the feeling to his fingers.

“Lynnie, I will require your presence when I meet with our other guest, he has stated that he only wants to talk to you and under the circumstances, I will allow it before he faces a Tribunal. Please find me as soon as you have a spare moment.”

“Sure thing,” I said. There was an unintentional edge to my voice, but Aiden had fractured our relationship in ways that I wasn’t certain could be mended. Not only had he intended to hurt Clay when we had him bound back at my house, he’d doubted my opinion on the return of Clay’s memories and had treated him like he was little more than a common criminal. “I’ll come just as soon as I have my family settled into our room.”

I picked up Ava and, despite a look of protest from Aiden, Willow gave our son to Clay, who held him securely in just one arm. When I gave Aiden a sharp glare to silence any further arguments he might try to make against Clay, he bowed his head.

“Please accept my apology, Lynnie,” Aiden murmured as I passed him. “I am truly only concerned with watching over your well-being and acting in the best interests of the court.”

With a glance at his concerned face a little bit of sympathy returned to me. Maybe he did deserve for me to give him the benefit of the doubt and try to see things from his side.

Ethan was right after all, everything Aiden had done was to look after his family, and that included me. After all, he had saved my life when Clay attacked the first time and he hadn’t witnessed the transition Clay went through to help deliver our son. I could understand why it was so hard for him to trust Clay, but equally, he needed to learn to trust me and my judgment.

I decided that Clay and I would just have to prove it to him. We’d prove to everyone that things were back to the way they were supposed to be, that we were a family again.

Willow reached for my arm just before we turned to leave. “Make sure you keep up with the healing water I gave you, it will help bring your milk in and speed things along so that you can make love sooner,” she whispered quietly so that only I could hear.

I almost choked on my tongue at how casually she’d said it, but then curiosity got the better of me and I had to know. Even though it had been the furthest thing from my mind all morning, I knew that it wouldn’t be long before that changed. “How long exactly?”

“Two to three weeks at the most.” She winked.

I thanked her and then turned to Clay, ready to head toward our room. I tried to hide the blush as I met his eyes and thought of how soon we might be able to spend some alone time together again. As sore as I was, the thought of having a proper reunion with him after so many weeks of worry and stress was already playing on my mind.

“Thank you for standing up for me in there,” Clay said as he followed me from the healing rooms.

“That’s what you do for the person you love,” I said, shuffling Ava in my arms and reaching forward to grasp his free hand in mine. My fingers entwined with his in the way they always had, the feeling of his palm flush against mine and the way his fingers curled to give me a reassuring squeeze proved to me that I was right in my assessment. He wasn’t the dangerous man who’d attacked the guards and then me just a few hours earlier. He was the man I loved. Against all odds, he’d come back to me.

I only wished I knew how. I considered every moment during the fight and realized the change seemed to happen almost immediately after I’d broken down. I wondered whether it had something to do with my tears. I vaguely recalled something about phoenix tears having a healing quality, but I couldn’t remember where I’d read it or whether it might be true.

Holding Clay’s hand tightly in my own, I led the way to the part of the court that housed our bedroom. Beyond all hope, we’d been reunited and now we had two beautiful children who would be blessed with both a mother and a father—something that had seemed impossible for so long for so many reasons. I had always assumed I would be the one to miss out on seeing our child, but that had almost been Clay’s fate.

It doesn’t matter now, I thought. We’re together again and we have the rest of our lives together.

There were still a myriad of unanswered questions about everything, but they could wait until after Clay’s acquittal. And I would do everything in my power to ensure that he was exonerated.

Ava began to fuss and wiggle against my hold. It was all so new to me that I worried I would drop her if she kept moving, so I released Clay’s hand and shifted her into a more secure hold in my arms. While I was stopped, Clay took the lead. When we reached a point where the hallway ended in a T junction, he turned left when he should have turned right.

“It’s this way,” I said, pointing in the correct direction.

“That’s right,” he said in an uncertain voice.

“I know we’ve been gone from the court for a few months, but you haven’t forgotten the way to our room so quickly have you?” The words reminded me that he had indeed forgotten a great deal, even if he did have his memories back now. Maybe his returned memory isn’t quite complete. If it isn’t, what else is he missing?

I ignored the thought, not wanting to allow in any extra negativity after the day I’d had. I needed another shower, rest, and then some time alone with my new little family.

“I guess some things are still a little muddled.” He smiled ruefully at me before following me down the hall.

“That’s probably to be expected,” I justified for both of us. “After all, Aiden said most people never get their memory back, so I’m not going to look a gift horse in the mouth if all that’s missing is your sense of direction.”

He nodded but didn’t say anything further as we walked to our room. When I entered the room, I realized that there had been some changes made since we’d last visited. I couldn’t say how long ago it had been placed there, but there was a crib along one wall—underneath the mural of the notes Clay had made about my true nature during our second separation.

Clay walked almost immediately to the crib and gently laid our son onto the mattress. He almost seemed reluctant to hold him for a moment more. It had gone from one extreme to another. He lifted his gaze and appeared to read the words printed on the mural for a few moments before turning away. He explored the space with a sadness I didn’t understand.

Holding Ava in my arms, I followed him as he walked slowly around the room, pausing in front of the giant portrait of the two of us—the one Ethan had snapped at the Gansevoort Hotel while we were making “goo-goo” eyes at each other.

“I have a confession to make,” he whispered as his eyes explored the canvass. “I don’t actually remember you.”