Chapter Nine
KINSEY
I woke up clinging to Miller like a second skin. The guy slept like the dead, which gave me the perfect opportunity to crawl away. The minute I made a decision to move, his arm shot out and tugged me against him, I was the small spoon to his big spoon. Why did his spoon have to be so warm?
I tried to fight it.
Not very hard.
But it’s the effort that counts, right?
We’d slept another hour in each other’s arms, and when my phone went off for the third time with Emerson’s name on the screen, the moment was shattered.
I grabbed my phone, he grabbed his.
No words were exchanged, but I still felt the heat from his body and wanted nothing more than to shut out the world, to forget about all the promises of friendship and just ask him to hold me. Sometimes that’s all a girl needs, a good holding, a hug, a touch.
I quickly called Emerson back. Apparently, she and Sanchez were going down to the practice stadium to work out.
“I’ll make protein shakes, if you want to get ready really quick.” Miller stood and started making himself at home in the kitchen.
And I had it.
Those horrible visions of what life would be like if everything was exactly like what it seemed.
Miller in the kitchen, shirtless, rummaging around the cupboards after having the best sleep of his life in my arms.
And me, getting ready, putting my toothbrush next to his and asking him if he can stop at the store for tampons.
Get a grip, Kins!
“Uh . . .” I scratched my head, did a circle, and put the blanket back on the couch. “Yeah, sure.”
“We can all work out, I’ll call Jax.” Miller wasn’t looking at me.
Rude!
I crossed my arms and then briefly remembered getting hot in the middle of the night, and taking off my . . . bra.
Braless.
Hello, headlights.
“Trying to be a gentleman here, Kins, but when you cross your arms it just makes it worse for me. Maybe you gained weight in your tits too, because I do not remember them looking that damn edible.” He leaned his massive body against the counter and finally looked at me. His slow perusal was enough to make my entire body shake with need. “Yeah, you need to put on some clothes . . . friend.”
“Says the shirtless football player.” I arched my eyebrows.
He took two steps toward me. “Don’t make me carry you.”
“That desperate to get some clothes on me?”
“So I don’t rip them off you? Yeah, pretty much.” One more step and a heave, and I was getting carried like a sack of potatoes all the way down the hall and into my bedroom. I was too stunned to fight back. He set me on my feet, turned around, and walked away.
“Thanks for the ride!” I called after him.
Miller poked his head around the corner scaring the crap out of me. “That wasn’t a ride and you know it, Kins. You’re familiar with the kind of rides I give, and when this whole friendship thing goes to hell and you actually ask me to kiss you—to touch you—you’re going to need to buckle up, sweetheart, because it’s going to be rough.”
“Funny, I remember smooth.”
“Poking the bear, friend.”
I was breathing way too hard for a girl who was standing still. “Maybe I like to poke.”
He groaned and banged his head against the side of the wall before walking off and yelling, “You have ten minutes.”
I scowled and managed to take a much-needed inhalation of oxygen before I quickly changed into my workout clothes. A wave of dizziness washed over me, just brief enough to force me to grab ahold of the door before grabbing my practice bag.
And with that dizziness—fear.
It was debilitating.
You’re being ridiculous. You’re healthy. You’re fine.
I closed my eyes and shut out the world, then focused on the one thing that wasn’t a reminder of my past—of what my dad was going through—of what he was battling.
Miller.
My eyes snapped open.
Why did I see him?
Funny, since Jax was the one who taught me how to meditate, to take control of my thoughts before they took control of me. And it was always Jax’s voice that brought me to that place of peace, where nothing could touch me, where I simply lived.
I gulped.
Instead, it was Miller’s raspy voice, his full lips, that beckoning smile, that forced my fear to dissipate.
“Kins!” Miller barked. “You ready?”
“Yeah.” I placed a hand on my chest and gave my head a shake. “Sure, coming.”
He grumbled something about Jax having the patience of a saint with me, and by the time I joined him in the kitchen, he’d somehow already changed and made two protein shakes. He tossed me a bottle full of some green-looking crap that made me gag before I even smelled it.
With a grin, he grabbed his keys. “Don’t knock it until you try it.”
“What is this?” I shook the bottle and cringed, the green sludge didn’t even move! I’d need a spoon! “Poison?”
“Kins.” Miller opened the door for me. “Do you really think I’d poison you before tasting you again? Not so smart on my part. Then you’d probably haunt me whenever I was trying to get laid and completely ruin every single future orgasm.”
I swept past him. “So basically I don’t need to watch my back until after you’ve had a little snack?”
“Eh.” He grabbed my bag out of my hand and pressed the elevator button. “I’d say more like a feast.”
My ears burned. “Sorry, friend, restaurant’s closed.” I clenched my legs to prove it, and noticed Miller give me a once-over, his lips quirked like he knew what he was doing to me.
“We’ll see.”
“What happened to last night? Our conversation about being friends?”
“Selective memory loss.” He ushered me into the elevator; his large hand took up half my back, at least it felt like it.
I shrugged away from his touch and plastered myself against the far wall. “Well, good thing I still remember the conversation.”
A grunt was his only answer.
Another wave of dizziness hit me.
I gripped the railing.
And suddenly Miller was in front of me, his hands on my face, his eyes crazed. “What the hell was that?”
I straightened. “Huh? What?”
He wasn’t buying it, his lips pressed into a firm line. “You know exactly what I’m talking about. You stumbled like you were going to pass out.”
I faked a smile I didn’t feel and shrugged. “I’m tired, I shared a couch with a behemoth last night and nearly got suffocated.”
“Bullshit.” He pressed his hands on either side of my body, pinning me against the wall. “You slept fine, want to know how I know?”
Probably not. I gulped. And shook my head.
“Tough shit.” The elevator stopped. He didn’t budge. “I know you, Kins. I know your skin, I know your smell, I’m acutely aware of every movement you make, even in your sleep, I saw you take off your bra, I felt you press that tight ass against me when you thought I was asleep—I know you. And this, this isn’t you . . . so I’m going to ask again. What’s up?”
I was too stunned to answer.
Thankfully, the doors opened and people started piling in.
“This isn’t over,” he murmured, grabbing my hand and leading us out of the elevator into the apartment lobby.
I was saved by the curious stares of people around us, and when we made it into the adjacent parking garage, I knew it was only a matter of time before he found out.
Not because I was going to say anything.
But because he knew me.
He saw everything.
And if I kept getting dizzy like that, he was either going to beat it out of Jax, or just force me to go to the doctor.
Not that it mattered.
I was healthy.
Totally fine.
My dad, on the other hand . . .
It was Thursday. I could see him tomorrow.
I clung to that promise like dear life.
Everything was going to be okay, I just needed to force myself to believe that.