Chapter Thirty-Four
MILLER
Everything in life comes full circle. Everything.
I gripped Kinsey’s hand as we made our way down the hospital hall, the same hall we’d walked through two weeks ago for the Homecoming Dance. Staff walked by us, a few stared.
I’d texted Sanchez and Em the minute we hopped into Jax’s car. If it was bad, he needed his family—all of his family.
Jax handed me his phone to text Harley too, and when she responded, all I could do was stare at the phone and shake my head. That woman . . . was just what he needed, because her first response was to gather the team.
She understood that his team was family just like Kinsey was his family even if she wasn’t blood. If you were lucky enough to be in Jax Romonov’s life, you were there for an eternity, maybe that’s why it had been so hard for me to go behind his back, because I loved him like the brother I never had.
When Jax walked into the waiting room. It wasn’t to face this thing alone.
It was to battle with his brothers by his side, the way it was supposed to be. Every single team member was there, some with their family members by their side, and then there was Coach, tears in his eyes as he walked up to Jax and pulled him in for a hug.
Harley was standing next to Coach, holding a plate of cookies.
Her smile was big, hopeful.
Jax reached for her.
She met him halfway.
Once they were done kissing, he turned to me. “You call the team?”
“Nope.” I pointed to his girl. “That was all her. Apparently, she’s the queen of group texts, who knew?”
“I did.” Jax straight-up rested his head against her neck, breathing her in for a few seconds before straightening.
Kinsey’s hand was shaking in mine when her mom got up from her seat and shuffled toward us.
Her eyes filled with tears as she shook her head slowly and whispered in a hoarse voice, “It’s probably best that we say good-bye.”
Kinsey froze next to me. I sucked in a breath. “I don’t understand.”
“He fell.”
My blood chilled.
“I called the ambulance. They got him here, and . . .” Her chin quivered. “The cancer’s spread into his lungs. The doctors have given him a week at most.”
“But—” Kinsey stumbled away from me toward her mom. “We were supposed to have more time. He was supposed to be healthy just a little bit longer, right? Isn’t that why you guys stopped chemo?”
Jax was at her side immediately, hugging her to his chest as she sobbed softly against him.
My fingers itched to jerk her back against me, to comfort her like only I knew how.
“Oh, baby.” Her mom joined them in a hug. “I don’t know why it happened this way, just that it did.” She swiped her fingers under Kinsey’s eyes where tears glistened. “He wants to see you . . .” Her gaze locked on mine and Harley’s. “All four of you.”
Stunned, I could only nod my head and try to keep myself from breaking, so that Kinsey would have something solid to hold on to, when all I wanted to do was run.
And in that moment, I felt like the person Jax had always accused me of being.
The guy who ran.
The intensity of the fear that chilled my body was so intense I started to get dizzy, and then Kins grabbed my hand.
The anxiety left.
And in its place, peace.
My mom had always joked that I was her anchor in life—and I’d always joked that if I was an anchor I must be really heavy, and the exchange almost always ended with me telling her she needed to feed me more if she had such high expectations.
We’d laugh.
She’d pile my plate high, and we’d share a meal together.
“This way.” Kinsey’s mom led us away from the group and down the hall.
“Hey! Hey! Mr. Miller!” a small voice yelled in my direction.
I stopped walking and looked down to my right. Marco was barreling toward me without crutches.
He slammed against my leg, his arms wrapping around my thigh as though he was trying to squeeze me to death. “I knew you’d come back! I told my mama you’d come back, and she didn’t believe me! I even told my nurse!”
I smiled despite the sadness at being there for all the wrong reasons, and knelt down so I was at eye level. “Well, look at that, you’re right! And I see you’re not using any crutches.” I held out my fist.
He knocked it and giggled. “Yeah, well, I remembered what you said.” He leaned in and whispered, “About my heart being like a lion.”
Tears filled my eyes. “Oh yeah?”
He nodded vigorously. “And guess what?”
“What, little man?”
The rest of the group had stopped to watch the exchange; even the nurses’ station seemed frozen in time.
“One night, I got really sick. Mama said I had an infection, and I almost died and guess what!”
“What?” Damn, I could talk to this kid forever.
“There was an angel! She had eyes like yours.” He touched my face and frowned. “And cheeks like yours! And a dimple right here.” He giggled. “And she said she knew you and that you would be really sad if I stopped being a lion! She asked me to rawr and I did, I rawred so loud, Mr. Miller! And she said that one day I was going to be just like you! Isn’t that so cool? And, oh boy, the music she sang was so pretty.” He started to hum.
My blood completely chilled. It was the same song my mom used to sing to me at night when I was a child.
“Almost forgot!” He giggled again. “She told me I was going to be okay, I just had to wake up, and fight, and so I did, and when she faded away, her little bracelet on her arm made a jingling noise. It had a heart and a red football—what football is red?” He shrugged.
The kind I gave my mom when I was six.
The kind she wore on her wrist until her death.
The kind I could have sworn I buried her wearing—when I was asked to get clothes for the casket.
I sucked in a breath and stared at the kid.
Tears filled my eyes, I almost couldn’t get it out. He shook his head.
I grabbed his hand and held it. “That bracelet must be magic.”
A tear slid down his cheek. “I figured it was something cool, because the minute I woke up . . . Mom said I got better, you think she healed me? My destiny angel with the bracelet?”
“Yeah, Marco,” I whispered hoarsely, “I think she did.”
“Cool.” He nodded, his eyes bright with blissful innocence. “I thought so, Mr. Miller. Thanks for coming back to see me.”
I made a promise to never let a week go by without seeing the kid. “Hey, you think it would be okay if I came by next week? You still gonna be here?”
“Nope!” He rocked back and forth on his heels. “I’m gonna be better, so I can go to your game against San Francisco!”
“Sounds like a plan.”
One of the nurses stepped forward. “Okay, Marco, it’s time for dinner. Why don’t you say good night to your new friend?”
Marco wrapped his arms around me again and whispered, “Thank you for showing me how to rawr loud, Mr. Miller.”
I could only nod, my voice was a wreck, my throat felt like it was on fire. He disappeared around the corner, and I turned to the nurses’ station. “Can I get his mom’s number, please?”
“That’s against protocol.” She smiled sadly. “But if you give me yours, I can pass along the information.”
I quickly jotted down my name and number then turned to Kinsey.
She was crying.
I imagined it was because of her dad and the whole situation just reminding her that even though Marco was okay—her dad wouldn’t be.
I stared up at the group.
Jax licked his lips and said in a hushed tone, “Something tells me you knew someone with a bracelet like that.”
I smiled. “My mom.”
Kinsey covered her mouth with her hands.
Her mom let out a sob before reaching for me.
And this time.
This time I held her tight. As tight as I could.
Panic didn’t overwhelm me.
I didn’t think about running away.
I didn’t think about the pain or the road ahead.
I just held her.
And she held me back.
And then I was joined by Kinsey, Harley, and Jax.
Minutes went by.
And then, as natural as ever, my family broke apart, and walked with heavy hearts toward the room that said “Ben Romonov.”