Autumn
The incessant beeping doesn’t sound like my alarm clock. Oh no! That smell. Surely not again? Just when I thought I was improving, I’m right back to square one. Bright lights stab painfully into my head as I force my eyes open. At least this time I recognize where I am. University Hospital, I’ve been here many times. At least my regular doctor won’t make me stay overnight this time.
The sounds of an argument carry through the door to my room. I’ve been lucky today. Somehow I’m in a private room.
“You still can’t go in there if you aren’t family.”
“But I am family.”
“And how exactly are you related?” I recognize the voice of Dr. Douglas.
“She’s my…wife.”
“Really? Last time I saw Autumn, she wasn’t married.”
Me? Someone’s wife? Who is this crazy person? At least I know Dr. Douglas knows me well enough to know this guy, whoever he is, is lying.
“We were married last month, we wanted to keep it quiet…” The voice drops away until I can’t make out the words.
Why would someone pretend to be married to me to get into my hospital room? I’m nobody. The door opens and the last person I ever expected to see, walks into the room. Finn. He’s smiling, but his eyes look haunted, dark circles frame the blue irises I know so well.
“Hi honey. Sorry if we woke you. I was just explaining to the doctor here, about our very private wedding, how important it is to both of us that this news doesn’t get out to the press until you’ve fully recovered.”
My mouth opens but no sound comes out.
Dr. Douglas looks at me, concern clear in his eyes. “Autumn, do you know this man?”
“Yes, of course. This is Finn Holloway.”
“Of course you know who he is, but do you know him? Is he your husband?”
I look at Finn. His eyes are pleading with me to go along with his story. How can I resist? “Of course what Finn says is true. He’s my husband.” I offer Dr. Douglas a tentative smile.
“Okay, if you say so. Well, Autumn, the good news is, we can run all those additional tests now. Your husband has made me promise to leave no stone unturned.”
“Uh, right,” I mumble.
“Well then, I’ll be back after I write up your plan. If you’re sure you’re okay with your…husband?”
“We’ll be fine, uh, thanks.” I watch as he leaves the room. When I can put it off no longer, I turn to face Finn. He’s standing at the foot of the bed looking unsure. It’s the most adorable thing I’ve ever seen. Wearing a plain black t-shirt, I can see the dragon that runs most of the way down one arm to end on his forearm. The other arm is clean. His long graceful fingers tap out a rhythm on the bed railing, he finally looks up. Seeing someone I’ve admired for so long looking so uncertain gives me the courage to speak.
“So…care to explain?”
Finn pulls a chair next to the bed and sits. “You, uh, fainted in the middle of Invincible.”
It all comes rushing back, the fantasy and facing reality. My cheeks heat and I blurt out the obvious question. “Why are you here?”
“Well they wouldn’t let me in otherwise. I’m sorry about the whole husband thing, but it was all I could think of.”
I close my eyes and then open them again. He’s still here, his deep blue eyes looking at me like I matter. I still don’t understand so I try again. “Um, what I mean is, why are you even at the hospital in the first place?”
“Oh, well, I saw what happened and I wanted to make sure you were alright.”
“I’m fine. This happens to me all the time. It’s nothing to worry about. You can go now.” Wait, why on earth did I add that last bit? I want to open my mouth and beg him to stay, but I don’t. Even I have limits.
“I spoke to your doctor. Lovely man. He said there were more tests that can be done to find out what’s causing the blackouts. I think we should see what the tests show.”
I run my hand through my hair nervously. “Why do you care?”
“You don’t want me to care?” Finn asks, his mouth lifting on one side, it’s so captivating I can’t help staring.
“Uh, sorry what did you say?”
The smile grows wider. “I asked why you think I shouldn’t care about you.”
“Oh. Well, I mean you’re Finn Holloway and I’m nobody.”
“I’m just a guy and you are definitely not nobody, Autumn O’Neil.” Finn reaches forward and places his hand over mine. I feel tingles shoot up my arm. “You don’t even know what you’ve done for me. If you like, you can consider this my repayment. Although, I’m definitely getting the better deal.”
My breath catches. “What do you mean? What did I ever do for you?”
Finn laughs, it’s a hollow bitter laugh. “What nobody knows, is that I haven’t been able to write a new song in over a year. Five minutes with you and I manage to write not one, but four new songs.”
My eyes go wide. “Really?”
“Indeed.”
“Why me?”
“Who knows how the muse works.” Finn gives my hand a gentle squeeze. “But somehow you inspire something in me. I need you.”
I jerk my hand away. “Look, I don’t know what’s going on, but you can stop now. My life is hard enough without someone messing with me.”
Finn looks bewildered. Hurt crosses his features. “I’m not messing with you. I’m just telling you the truth.”
I close my eyes. “You need to leave. Please.” I squeeze my eyes shut tighter. “Please, when I open my eyes, I need you to be gone.”
There is only silence. After thirty seconds, I open my eyes and I am alone. How he managed to leave without making a sound, I have no idea. Perhaps it was all a dream? There is nothing here to say that Finn Holloway, lead singer of Infusion Deep was ever here.
A nurse enters the room with a tray full of vials and syringes. She efficiently preps my arm and begins to draw blood, chattering on about nothing.
“What are these for?”
“Didn’t Dr. Douglas tell you about the new tests?”
“He knows I can’t afford more tests.”
“Oh don’t worry, it’s all been taken care of.”
“What do you mean it’s all been taken care of?”
“The Holloway Foundation is covering your medical bills.”
I blink rapidly, not really believing. Despite the fact that I’ve never heard of the Holloway Foundation, I realize at least one part of this whole thing is real. Suddenly there is hope in my future. Guilt quickly follows. I can’t believe I told him to leave. Someone offers to help me, and all I can do is act suspicious and rude.
As the nurse finishes up, I replay the conversation with Finn in my mind. Does he really think I’m his muse? It’s a totally insane idea. What does a muse even do anyway? I push those dangerous thoughts out of my mind as I sit up and swing my legs over the side of the bed. I need to use the bathroom.
Staring at myself in the bathroom mirror, I run my hand over my head, searching for any bruising from my fall. One of the dangers of sudden fainting, is the injuries you sustain from falling onto hard surfaces. The back of my head is a little tender, but nothing serious.
The same can’t be said about my face and hair though. I can’t believe I was speaking to my idol with raccoon eyes and knotted hair. It’s a wonder he didn’t run sooner. Using one of the small towels provided, I wash my face clean of make-up and run my fingers through my hair. Feeling better, I head back into the room to get dressed. No way am I hanging out here any longer. I again regret my clothing choices as I have no other option than my thigh high boots and mini dress. If nothing else, this whole disaster has finally persuaded me I need to shop for some new clothes. My therapist will be so pleased with my progress.
After being released from the hospital, I take a taxi back to the venue to retrieve my car. To make sure I don’t change my mind, I stop at the mall on my way home. My hands are already clammy as I lock the car door. A thin sheen of perspiration coats my forehead as I enter the mall. Not having any particular preferences, I head for the sale racks. Blue denim in various shades fills the rack. The perky sales lady assures me I’m a 6 so I grab an 8 and head to the counter. On my way I notice a blue shirt the color of a certain someone’s eyes, so I grab that as well.
“Will that be all?” Little miss perky asks with a fake smile.
“Yes, that’s it.” My hands are shaking as I hand over a twenty.
“Are you alright miss?”
“Fine.” I snatch my change from her perfectly manicured fingers and bolt from the store. I’m breathing hard by the time I make it back to my car. I rest my head against the steering wheel and breathe deeply.
Back at home, I try on my new outfit. The jeans hug my curves in a way that I’m not used to, but they’re comfortable enough. The soft blue shirt is my favorite though. Looking in the mirror the girl smiling back at me looks…normal. My heart rate increases as I actually think about leaving the house in these clothes. Regretfully I peel them off. Perhaps I’m not as ready as I thought I was.
I’m back working at the computer, when the doorbell rings. Knocking my empty coffee cup off the desk, I scramble to my feet. I’m not expecting a delivery and no one ever just drops by to visit – I’ve pretty much lost all my friends over the last year. I’m sure if I called them a few would still be happy to hear from me, but I’m not ready for that. Just surviving takes all my energy.
I tuck a lock of hair behind one ear as I open the door. A delivery man is standing there holding the biggest bunch of Protea flowers I’ve ever seen.
“Are you Autumn O’Neil?”
“Um, yes that’s me.”
“Sign here please, miss.”
I hurriedly scrawl something that looks nothing like my signature and he hands me the bouquet. Hurrying inside, I pull a large glass jug out of the cupboard and fill it with water. I can’t make myself wait any longer. I pull the card out and tear open the envelope.
Autumn, these blooms reminded me of you somehow. I’m sorry if I freaked you out at the hospital. Please let me make it up to you with dinner? Don’t worry, it’s just take-out with Wes and his baby sister Sophie. If I don’t hear from you to say you can’t make it, I’ll pick you up at 6.
Finn
Turning the card over, I notice there’s no phone number. After re-reading the note and putting the flowers in the water jug, I’m still no closer to figuring it out. How can I turn down the invitation if I don’t have Finn’s number? It’s not like I can just look it up online.
Why does he even want anything to do with me anyway? Does he really think I can help him write new music? It’s totally absurd. How could someone like me help with that? Glancing at my phone, I realize it’s already after four. Although I can’t really believe Finn is going to appear on my doorstep I still jump into the shower and dress in my new clothes. Can I really do this?