I drive past Kaitlyn’s bakery, but all the lights inside are off except for a few Christmas lights strung up in the window. I used to go in there all the time for coffee and a croissant when I was studying for finals. I haven’t been in lately because it always reminded me of Jess, but right now I’m in the mood for something hot and sweet.

My knuckles grip the steering wheel of my vintage 1984 Mustang and I downshift manually to keep my ass from driving straight off the road. I haven’t seen Jess since last night, and I’m going to surprise her at her house. It’s not okay for us to not talk all day. I like to keep tabs on my girl. I want her to know I’m thinking of her.

I check my phone when I get to a red light to see if she’s texted me. Nothing. Out of the corner of my eye I see Kaitlyn get into the car next to mine.

“Hey!” I roll down my window and wave to her. She smiles brightly, and then pushes her lips together into a line like she’s suddenly forgotten who I am.

“Hey, Chris,” she says, unlocking her car. “Haven’t seen you in a while.”

“Have you seen Jess today? I’m going over there now, but I haven’t talked to her.”

“Yeah. As a matter of fact, I have.” She starts to grab the door handle of her car and then shakes her head with her eyes cast down to the ground and turns to my open passenger-side window. “Chris, what’s going on with you?”

“Huh?” I turn down the radio and roll the window down further. “I’m sorry I haven’t been in the bakery in a minute. I was actually just craving some of your delectable treats.”

“Chris, Jess has some strange idea about you.”

My mouth goes dry and I squint at Kaitlyn. “What does that mean?”

She sighs and shrugs her shoulders. “I don’t know. All I know is that she thinks she saw something last night. She doesn’t know why you started something if you know she’s going back to school soon. I don’t know. I don’t want to get involved.”

I shake my head and think back to last night. I knew something was off with the way she was acting. It must have been that dickhead Josh and something he said. “There’s no need for you to get involved, but I appreciate you saying something. Whatever she thinks happened, didn’t.”

“I don’t know, Chris. Even if nothing happened, why did you start something with her again?”

“I didn’t start anything,” I say, smiling. “We just picked up where we left off.”

Kaitlyn furrows her brow and bites down on her bottom lip, and starts rooting around in her handbag for something. She pulls out a small red and white striped bag wrapped up with bakery string.

“Chris, take this. I have plenty at home.”

“What’s this?” I ask, reaching across the car to take the bag from her.

“It’s something for you. You can share it with Jess.”

“Thanks. I should go find friends like you.”

“Chris?” she says, turning to her car and looking over her shoulder. “I am your friend. You just have to come out from hiding.”

I barrel toward Jess’ house with a fever in my chest and desire in my bones. I have to set the fucking record straight, command her to spread her legs open for me and remind her how much I want only her.

Parking curbside, I see that there are no lights on downstairs. The only light that’s on is in her room. I lean on the horn and she appears in her window, pushing the white lace curtains aside. Everything up there is illuminated, and I don’t stop honking wildly and grinning like a fool until she appears at the front door.

I swing my car door open and the old thing dings a few times before I slam it shut behind me.

“When the hell were you going to tell me about vet school, Jess?” I stride across her front lawn, not bothering to use the path paved with white stones. I take the few steps up to the front door and push past her into the living room and make my way right over to the tree to plug it in. “And why was that off?”

She pulls her robe tight around her little waist, her hips flaring out perfectly beneath it. “I don’t know.”

“That’s all? You don’t know?” I face her squarely and wrap my fingers around her upper arms, leaning down to kiss her.

“Yeah,” she says, halting our kiss and breaking away from me. “I don’t know.”

“How about you tell me about grad school now. I have literally all night.”

I sit down on the couch and make myself comfortable, crossing my arms in mock-annoyance. “Well?”

“I don’t know,” she says. “Yes, I got into the vet program, and yes, I’m going to go.” She pauses, leaning against the arched doorway into the hallway. She looks like she wants to make an escape, but I cross the room quickly to kiss her again.

She opens up for me and her robe falls open just slightly, letting me see down inside. I brush the robe off her shoulders and hold her close, stroking her temple and kissing the top of her head. My fingertips trail along her cinched waist and down to her hips.

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“I didn’t think you’d care,” she says in a small voice.

“Baby. That’s all I want. To be with you.”

She shudders against me and looks up, her clear blue eyes piercing my heart. “I didn’t think you wanted that. For all you knew, I had to go back to school on the West Coast again in a couple of weeks.”

“You think that would stop me?” I scoop her up by her ass and carry her over to the couch, sitting her down on my lap with me. “Baby, I let you go once before. I’m not making that mistake again.”

I pull her against me so she’s straddling my lap. All she has on under her robe is a thin nightgown and simple cotton panties. I slip a hand between her legs and feel the heat coming from her.

“Did you think something happened at the party?” I ask with concern, looking deeply into her eyes. Everything makes sense. I just regret not clearing everything up earlier. I should never have left her side.

“Yes,” she says, her hands against my chest. “You know your friend Josh is gross, right? He said something strange and then I saw you and Sammy together.”

“Baby, I was trying to convince her not to drunk text her ex.” I shake my head and smile. “I think I actually talked some sense into her.”

Jess slips her fingers through mine and looks away from me, glancing outside. It’s starting to snow a little, and she exhales deeply through her pretty pink lips. She looks perfect with a messy bun high on her head and not a stitch of makeup on. “And what about me? You going to talk some sense into me?”

“No one is home, right?” I slip a finger over her lips and kiss the corner of her mouth as she lets out a soft little moan.

“That’s right. I think they all went to a movie.”

“Okay. Let me talk some sense into you then.”

I lift her up easily by her ass, her legs wrapping around me and her fingers wrapping around the muscles in my upper arms, and carry her up the stairs. I know exactly how many steps it takes to get upstairs, and I purposely step on every spot I know will squeak, just to make her laugh. The house is like us - it’s weathered, and sometimes it squeaks to remind you just how much love has been put into it over the years.

We slip into her room and I leave the light off. We move perfectly together, and I lay her down on the edge of the bed and push her nightgown and robe up to her belly as I kneel down in front of her and slip her panties off.

A light moan escapes from her lips as I kiss her gently everywhere, pushing her thighs wide apart. Her legs shudder at my touch as I nibble inside her leg, so close to her pussy but not touching it.

“You’re so wet for me. That’s the way it’s going to be from now on, isn’t it?”

“Yes,” she exhales. I breathe her in deeply, kissing up her thigh and coming to her clit. She’s impossibly wet, and I push two fingers deep in and curl them up, rubbing her from the inside. A sweet, full breath emanates from her lips, filling the dark room.

Leaning down, I bury my face between her legs. She might belong by my side, but this is where I belong - doing everything to prove to her every fucking day that she’s the one I want.

I swirl my tongue against her clit and then move up her body, planting soft kisses against her flawless skin.

“You’re perfect,” I say, pushing her robe and nightgown up her body and off her head. Positioning myself between her legs, I grab one of her thighs and push it up so her knee is by her ear and plunge deep into her.

“That’s so, so nice.” She tilts her head back, her brown locks falling in waves away from her. Her face shows the storm going on inside her body, and I tilt her chin up and nibble on her soft neck, making a louder, higher moan come from deep inside her throat.

“Jess, I love you.” I slide between her legs, feeling all the gorgeous warmth from inside her body as she wraps her arms and leg tight around me, pulling me so close. Closer than ever.

My cock twitches as I slide in and out of her, a smile playing across her lips. Our bodies move in unison, our hearts beating as one.

I’ve finally found my home. I’ve finally brought her home for good. Forever.

“I love you too, Chris. I always have. I did a year ago, and I do now.”

I stop moving and take her face within my hands, drawing my thumbs over her ears and pushing her hair behind them. A kiss, a mark and a push, and she’s mine.

Her body tenses up, her smooth legs gliding over my back. Reaching down to touch her between us, I pull out and move down her body, planting small kisses all the way, stopping at the small tuft of hair below. I stroke her gently, and a chorus of moans fills the room. All the light from the big white moon far away casts a glow inside the room. It’s not dark. It’s light. She’s light. She’s a flashing signal of hope in the storm. She’s the soft to my hard and the melody to my words.

I push her legs apart wide and move my tongue everywhere. All I want is for her to feel good. Inside, outside, in her mind and her body and heart.

“Chris,” she utters softly. “Please come here and kiss me.”

I do as she asks, pushing a leg up over my shoulder to reach deeper inside her with my steel hardness. I’ll do anything she asks of me. And she isn’t the only one with a question.

Pushing inside, our mouth crash together, our lips moving softly against each other’s. She moans into my mouth and I push even harder into her, making her head tilt back and away from me.

“Give your mouth back to me. I’ve dreamed of those lips every day, baby.” She wraps around my neck with her arms and uses me to leverage herself up, her soft fingertips playing in the hair on the back of my head.

I reach behind her head and lace a fist-full of hair between my fingers, fisting my hand as her eyes open. Nipping her bottom lip with my teeth, she cries out in pleasure.

The fire inside my bones cannot be quenched. There’s no way to extinguish what’s inside me. There will never be. I need to come back and drink from this spring every day of my damn life.

But my life won’t be damned any more. As long as I have her. Inside my bed. Inside my heart.

“Chris,” she whimpers sweetly. “That’s amazing.”

I tug harder and her head inches back farther, the moonlight licking her white neck. Silver and white dance on her as my lips descend upon that delicate sight.

“Come for me, baby.”

I push hard and again reach down between us to strum her clit. She’s soaked, and I can’t help myself when I reach up to her lips and slip two fingers inside.

Her eyes close tight and hard and tears start to form in the corners of her eyes.

“Baby,” I say, halting my movements and pushing myself up and over her body with a hand pressed to the bed beside her. “What’s the matter?”

“Nothing,” she whimpers. “Nothing’s the matter.”

Her eyes open again, slick with the hint of something I can’t see. But I will. I’ll work hard every day of my life to know what she wants. Before she does, even. I have to. It’s all I want.

I sink back down onto her and cup one of her perfect breasts in my hand, grazing my hard, weather-worn and calloused fingers against her petite, pink nipple.

“I’m going to…” she breathes, writhing beneath me and meeting my thrusts.

“Come, baby? You’re going to come?”

“Yes,” she says with a dull ache in her voice.

“Then come. Now. With me.”

Pushing hard into her and kissing her temple softly, I pull her pleasure out as she gives me everything she has inside. I come hard and deep, coaxing a beautiful moan from deep inside her chest.

Rolling over onto my side, I graze my hand up and down her perfect body. She moves in the moonlight and rests her head on my chest.

“I want to tell you something. I don’t know if I ever got the chance,” I say as she peers up into my eyes, a smile dancing behind them.

“What is it?”

“Merry Christmas, baby.”