Chapter Four
Lucas
Sighing, I set my cup of coffee down on the bookshelf and sink into the lounge chair in the corner of my room before running my hand over my face and closing my eyes. I’m fucking exhausted and as much as I would love to sleep for the next thirty-six hours, I can’t. Not until I find Clay. I spent most of last night hitting his usual hangouts again and even after two showers, I still feel fucking dirty. Each place was more run down and dirty than the one before it and I was accosted by numerous women looking to suck my cock in exchange for just a little bit of dope - anything to get their next fix. It’s disgusting and looking back now, I can’t believe I used to hang out in places just like that but back then, I didn’t care about much.
I grab my coffee and take a sip before pulling my phone out of my pocket and stare at it. I have one more person I can talk to before I have to start calling hospitals and morgues but I’ve been avoiding this conversation for six damn years and I don’t know that I’m prepared for it. With a sigh, I set my coffee back down and dial her number.
“Hey, honey! How are you doing?” Iris asks and even through the phone, I can hear the cheery smile in her voice and a rock forms in my stomach. Iris is one of the only people that’s ever given a damn about Clay and I know telling her the truth will disappoint her but I don’t know what else to do anymore. I’m out of options.
“I’m good, Riz. How are you?”
There’s a pause on the other end of the line and I turn to the window, my heart racing.
“You wanna tell me the truth this time?”
Shit.
I know better than to try and bullshit Iris. I’ve never been very good at hiding anything from her and she doesn’t have the kind of personality that would let me get away with lying to her. I take another sip of coffee before setting it down on top of the bookshelf with a sigh.
“Uh… have you seen Clay at all lately?”
There is this nagging sensation, deep down in my gut, that’s screaming at me to pay attention, to be on top of my game but I have no idea why. It’s not like Clay hasn’t disappeared for long stretches at a time before. But this time feels different.
“No, I haven’t. Is something wrong?”
I sigh and close my eyes. When Clay first started using, I thought I could handle all of this on my own but now, it’s six years later and I’m no closer to managing my brother and his addiction than I was when it all started.
“Yeah, something is wrong, but it’s not really a conversation we should be having over the phone.”
“I see,” she murmurs and my stomach rolls.
Shit.
I shouldn’t have said anything.
“I’m sorry…”
“Don’t you dare,” she cuts me off. “Don’t apologize for finally including me.”
I nod despite the fact that she can’t see me. “Okay.”
“Why don’t you come round for a meal in the next day or two and we’ll talk?”
“Yeah,” I answer. “I can do that.”
The smile is back in her voice when she says, “Good. And I’ll keep my eye out for your brother until then.”
“Thank you, Iris.”
“Oh, hush, boy. I think you know by now that I’d do just about anything for you boys. Y’all are family.”
I smile, my thoughts drifting back to when Clay and I first met Iris years ago and I nod. Despite the fact that we’re not related, Iris has been family to my brother and I since the moment she inserted herself into our lives.
“All right, I’m going to let you go.”
“Okay, sweetie. I’ll see you soon.”
We hang up and I sigh as I lean back in the chair and grab my coffee, going over Clay’s favorite hangouts in my mind. I fucking hate going there and searching for him but even worse is the feeling of my worry eating away at me when I don’t find him. It’s like one of those tapeworms you see on medical TV shows - the kind of thing that you never even realize is there until it sucks so much life out of you that you’re barely hanging on. In the beginning, I worried about my brother but now, it’s consuming me, devouring another piece of my soul each day and I worry that neither one of us is going to survive this mess. So many people have told me to cut ties but they don’t understand - none of them do. Clay is all I’ve got left and who he is now, the chaos he’s created in both of our lives - is all my fault.
Sighing, I throw my free arm over my eyes and try to clear my mind. A laugh bubbles out of me and I shake my head.
What a fucking joke.
My head is never clear… except recently when I’m around Quinn. My mind drifts to yesterday as I brought her home from the hospital and carried her up to her room. The thing is she felt so damn good in my arms in a way that I’ve never felt before and it was more than her lush curves or soft skin. When I’m with her, I feel free. Maybe she’s just a pretty distraction, an easy way to redirect the toxic thoughts that are always spinning in my head but I don’t know that I care anymore. I need to see her again because even after only spending a few hours with her, I’m clinging to that liberation. And then there’s that little voice in my head that keeps screaming that she’s different from all the other girls but there’s too damn much going on in my life right now to even think about that.
My phone rings and I jerk up, glancing down at my phone as my arm falls from my face. A Baton Rouge number flashes on the screen and I scoop it up, praying it’s not the morgue.
“Hello?”
“Hey. It’s Diego.”
My heart rate slows as I blow out a breath. “Hey, man. What’s up?”
“You’re going to want to get down to the station.”
I jerk forward, spilling coffee on the floor. “Why? What’s going on?”
“I’ve got your brother in a cell here.”
“Jesus Christ,” I hiss, shaking my head as I stand and set the half empty cup of coffee down on the bookshelf. “Do I need to bring bail?”
“Naw, you’re good. They just kept him until he sobered up.”
I nod. “Okay. I’ll be there in fifteen.”
We hang up and I chuck my phone across the room, irritated when it lands on the bed instead of smashing against the wall. Fuck this shit. Why am I jumping up to go bail him out of jail when he’s just going to be right back there next week or the week after that? He’s fucking using me but both of us know that I’ll continue to let him.
Shoving myself up from the bed, I stomp across the room and grab my phone before going to the dresser and pulling the lockbox I keep in the underwear drawer out. I grab the chain from around my neck and pull it off before jamming the key into the lock and flipping the top open. Stacks of cash stare back at me and I grab one, thumbing through it before shoving the whole thing in my pocket. I know Rodriguez said he covered it but I have to pay him back for all the help he’s given me. I couldn’t even tell you how many times Rodriguez has kept my brother’s issues under wraps after he’s been arrested.
Once the lockbox is secure again, I shove it back in the drawer, slip the chain around my neck, and grab my bike keys off the dresser before yanking the door to my room open. I almost crash into Streak, the club’s cyber expert, as I step out into the hallway. He holds his hands up in surrender
“Whoa, where’s the fire?”
I shoot him a glare. “Clay’s in jail again.”
“Ah,” he whispers, understanding crossing his face. “Well, good luck with that.”
I nod and head for the stairs, leaving him behind me. The guys used to try and talk to me about my brother but they know by now it’s a topic that’s off limits. Especially since a lot of them just want me to cut him loose. I wish I could blame them but they have no idea the shit Clay and I have lived through together and even if I wanted to give up on him, I can’t.
The bar is quiet when I reach the bottom of the stairs and I’m thankful that I can get out of here without having to explain the situation to anyone else. Shoving the door to the clubhouse open, bright sunlight blinds me and I slip my sunglasses on and jog over to my bike before swinging my leg over it and firing it up. It rumbles beneath me and my heart kicks against my rib cage as I race out of the parking lot and turn away from the clubhouse. Anger fuels me to go faster, whipping through the streets of Baton Rouge with no regard for my own personal safety. By the time I pull up in front of the police department, I’m panting and my anger has melted away to exhaustion.
Climbing off the bike, I make my way inside and stop in front of the desk as I wait for the receptionist to acknowledge me as she flips through a magazine.
“How can I help you?” she asks, not even bothering to meet my gaze.
“I’m here to see Detective Rodriguez.”
She points to the waiting area. “Have a seat and he’ll be with you shortly.”
I take a seat in the waiting area and each minute that passes only pisses me off more as I wait for my brother. The worst thing is, I know he’s going to act like this is no big deal. Just another day and I guess for us, it is. He keeps screwing up and I keep showing up to rescue him. In his mind, he can keep doing this forever because I will show up, I’ll always come to bail him out - even if it’s killing me.
“Smith.”
I glance up and Rodriguez gestures me over. Damn, he looks like hell. He has dark circles under his eyes and his dark hair looks like he’s been running his hands through it repeatedly.
“You look like shit, dude,” I say when I reach him and he nods. “Why are you at work so soon?”
He leads me back to his desk and plops down in his chair with a sigh. “Because I can’t be anywhere else. I have to figure out who killed Laney.”
“We told you we’d help you out,” I remind him as I sit in the chair next to his desk. He nods.
“I know and I appreciate it but this is my fight. It was my job to protect her and since I couldn’t do that, I have to find this guy and make him pay.”
I shake my head. “You need time, man. It’s still too fresh and anyone can see that you’re torturing yourself.”
“Maybe it’s what I deserve,” he mutters as he stands. “Let me go get your brother.”
“What did he do this time?”
Rodriguez rolls his eyes. “Got drunk and hit on the wrong dude’s girl. He’s got one hell of a shiner to go along with his hangover.”
“He wasn’t high?” I ask, stunned.
“Not when he was picked up.”
I nod as he turns to leave and slip a stack of cash under some of the files on his desk with a sigh. He’d never take it if I offered it to him outright but it’s the least I can do for all his help with my brother the past few years.
As I wait for them to come back, I rub my hand over my face. I’m not stupid enough to believe or even dare to hope that Clay being sober means anything more than they picked him up before he could shove a needle in his arm but it’s certainly different from all the other times I’ve dragged my ass down to the station to bail him out. It’s hard to remember a time when this wasn’t my life. Clay’s only been using for the past six years but it feels like forever and since I’ve built my life around trying to help him, I wouldn’t even know what to do with myself if he ever got clean.
“Thanks for the hospitality,” Clay says as he walks out of the back, followed by Rodriguez and I stand, rolling my eyes. Why the fuck does he always have to act like such a prick?
“I don’t want to see you in here again.”
Clay laughs. “Aw, but you’d miss me so much!”
“Hardly,” Rodriguez grumbles and Clay’s gaze meets mine.
“Shit, man. You called my brother?”
Rodriguez gives him a little shove, urging him forward. “Yeah, I called your damn brother. He’s the only reason you’re not behind bars on a permanent basis.”
“What the fuck ever.”
“Nice to see you, too, Clay,” I say, narrowing a glare at him and he rolls his eyes. I turn to Rodriguez. “Thanks again, man.”
He nods as he holds out a bag of Clay’s belongings. “No problem.”
I grab the bag out of his hand and grip Clay’s arm, pulling him out of the station.
“Get your fucking hand off me,” he growls as we step outside, ripping his arm out of my grasp and taking the bag. “What the hell is your problem?”
“My problem? My problem is that I had to bail you out of jail, yet again. What the hell are you doing with your life, Clay? You’ve got to stop doing this.”
He scoffs, backing away from me. “You don’t get to tell me what to do anymore. Remember what happened the last time you did that?”
“What the fuck is that supposed to mean?” I hiss, following him even though my bike is parked behind me.
“Never mind.” He spins around and stalks away from me. “Why don’t you just stay the hell out of my business?”
“Believe me, little brother, I’d love to but you can’t stay out of trouble for more than a few weeks. You need to get your life together.”
He sneers at me over his shoulder. “Aw, but then what would we talk about? We all know your favorite subject is what a fuck-up I am.”
“I’ve never once said that and I’m just trying to help. I’m worried about you, Clay.”
He stops and turns toward me. Track marks line his forearms and my stomach rolls just looking at them. “Well, don’t be. I’m fine.”
“We both know that’s not true.” My gaze drops to his arms and he crosses his arms over his chest.
“There’s something I wanted to ask you,” he murmurs after a moment, kicking at a pebble on the ground in front of him.
“What?”
“Tell me about that night.”
I scowl. “That night?”
“You know,” he urges with a nod and raised brows. “That night.”
Memories from years ago flash through my mind and I shake my head as I back away from him. “No. You already know what happened. There’s no use going over it all again and again.”
“Maybe you were wrong. Maybe you misunderstood the situation.”
“Misunderstood? No, there was no misunderstanding what I saw, Clay, and I’m not going to apologize for protecting you from seeing it, too.”
“I was just a kid and you ruined my life.”
“I ruined your life?” I whisper, looking around to make sure no one is listening to us. I can’t believe he would even say that. “I saved you that night.”
He throws his head back and laughs. “Oh, Saint Lucas, you’re so full of shit. You know what… now that I think about it, maybe she’s not even really dead.”
“Jesus, how many drugs are you on right now?”
He throws himself on a park bench. “That’s not an answer. We never should have left.”
I shake my head and sit down next to him. “Clay. Leaving was our only option. Why is that so fucking hard for you to believe?”
“I am fucking done with this,” he says as he stands. “Just leave me alone, Luke. I don’t want to see you and I sure as hell don’t need anymore of your help.” He turns and walks away from me. I follow after him.
“Rodriguez called me this morning for you, asshole, and don’t think for one goddamn second that I believe you won’t call again the next time you’re in trouble.”
He turns toward me, walking backward with his hands up. “It was a mistake. Just forget about it.”
“Clay!” I yell, stopping as he turns away from me and crosses the street without looking back. I sink onto the bench and drop my head into my hands. What the fuck is going on with him? He’s always had questions about that night but to go as far as to say that I ruined his life when all I was trying to do was protect him… I don’t know what to do with him anymore.
The door to the police station slams open and Rodriguez stomps down the stairs, his head down as he clutches a file to his chest. Fuck. He really shouldn’t be back at work already and I worry he’s going to lose it if he keeps obsessing over Laney’s case. He needs to find her killer and we all understand that but this isn’t healthy. Grabbing my phone, I dial Moose’s number and press the phone to my ear as I watch Rodriguez throw himself behind the wheel of his car and beat his fists against the steering wheel.
“What’s up, brother?”
“Hey. You doing anything today?”
There’s a pause on the line. “I was gonna go watch some fireworks but I can change plans. What’s up?”
“Are you fucking kidding me?” I hear a woman shriek in the background and I wince.
“Sorry, dude. I can call someone else.”
“Naw, don’t worry about her. It’s not serious and she’ll get over it the next time she wants some dick.”
I laugh as I shake my head. “Yeah, okay. Listen, you mind checking up on Rodriguez later today? I’m at the station to bail Clay out and he’s not looking good.”
“You got it, man. How’s Clay?”
With a sigh, I run my hand over my face. “A pain in my goddamn ass.”
“Sorry.”
“Not your fault. Rodriguez is leaving the station now and I don’t know if he’s going back to the clubhouse or his place but I think someone needs to be with him.”
“Don’t worry about it. I’ll find him.”
We say good-bye and as I hang up the phone, I notice a text from Quinn.
Quinn:
Just wanted to say thank you
for all your help yesterday.
Me:
No problem. How are you feeling?
My knee shakes as I wait for her reply and I picture her as I carried her up to her bed last night as I fight back a smile. She’s just what I need to turn this fucked up day around.
Chapter Five
Quinn
“I don’t know,” Alice muses as her gaze rakes over me, lying on the couch. I sigh and roll my eyes.
“Well, I do. Go out with your friends.”
Her eyes flick to Brooklyn, who is sitting in the middle of the living room, smashing blocks together and laughing. “Are you sure?”
“Yes, Al. We’ll be fine.”
When she meets my eyes again, her teeth sink into her bottom lip and she looks even more unsure than she did just a second ago. “I really don’t have to go. If you are feeling sore or you need to rest, I can stay and take care of Brooke.”
“Alice, I love you so very much but you’re turning into a stick in the mud. Go out and have fun with your friends, for Christ’s sake. It’s the Fourth of July, you shouldn’t be cooped up with your injured sister and baby niece.”
She walks over to the couch and checks the blanket over my legs. “Are you still in pain?”
“Will you stop?” I tsk, batting her hands away. “I am sore but in case you forgot, I was hit by a truck so that’s normal.”
“You know what, I’m just going to stay home with you guys. We can rent movies or something.” She sits down next to me on the couch and tosses her purse to the other side. I swing my legs off the middle cushion and push myself off the couch as my body protests.
“Alice Ann Dawson,” I mutter, limping over to the other end of the couch before grabbing her purse and putting it in her hands. “You are going to go have fun and I forbid you from coming home until, at least, midnight.”
She sighs, staring up at me for a moment before she stands up and slings the strap of her purse over her shoulder. “Okay, but you call me if you need anything, you hear? I’ll have my phone on the whole time and I’ll text you to check in.”
“Oh, my little worry wort,” I sigh as I wrap her up in a hug. “Seriously, go have fun and don’t worry about us. We’ll be here when you get back.”
“As you pointed out, you were just hit by a truck so excuse me for being concerned about you.”
I release her with a smile. “I know but the doctor gave me the all clear and between school and helping me with Brooklyn, I can’t remember the last time you went out with your friends. You deserve a break and I don’t want to hear anymore arguments.”
She opens her mouth to protest and I cover her mouth with my hand.
“No. No arguments. Go have fun.”
We move toward the door and she sighs. “All right but I am going to text you and if you don’t answer me, I’m coming home.”
“If I get even one text from you when you’re supposed to be having fun like every other twenty-one-year-old on the planet, I’ll change the alarm code on you and pretend to not know you when the police show up.”
“Bitch,” she teases through the grin on her face.
“Nag,” I fire back and we both laugh.
“Fine. I’ll be here at midnight, on the dot so don’t be inviting any boys over.”
I roll my eyes and give her a gentle shove toward the door. “Oh, yeah, cause you really need to worry about that.”
“Go on,” I urge her as Brooklyn babbles from the living room and I peek over my shoulder to check on her. When I turn back to Alice, she waves and steps out of the door as I release a breath. I honestly don’t know how I’d do all this without her but my sister has paused her life enough for me. It’s time that she gets out a little more and lives her life.
“What should we do tonight, Brooklyn?” I call as I turn toward the living room. She sees me and pushes herself to her feet, wavering a little before she plops back down on her butt. In the last week or so, she’s shown signs of almost walking but she hasn’t taken that first step just yet. Despite the accident, it’s been amazing to be able to spend so much time with her since I’m usually working so much. Brooklyn babbles something as she stares up at me and I nod.
“Good idea, sweet girl! Beauty and the Beast, it is.”
Before I can get to the couch, my phone buzzes and I hobble back to my seat and sink into the cushion before grabbing it.
Lucas:
Any big plans tonight?
Just seeing his message on the screen sends a flutter through my belly and I shake my head as a smile stretches across my face. When I texted him earlier to thank him for everything, I told myself that’s all it was but the truth is, I want to see him again. As crazy as that is.
Me:
Yeah. Brooklyn and I have a date
planned with the DVD player.
Setting my phone down, I sigh. I would have loved to get a few little fireworks to set off for Brooklyn but with the accident, it just wasn’t possible. It’s not like she’ll ever remember tonight but I was really looking forward to it. Brooklyn babbles and I glance over at her as she pushes herself to her feet again and wobbles.
“Come on, baby girl. You can do it. Walk to Mama,” I encourage, holding my hands out in front of me. She meets my eyes and smiles before plopping down on her butt with a frustrated grunt as I laugh.
“It’s okay. You’ll figure it out soon enough.”
A sweet little sigh slips past her lips as she reaches for her block again and I grin, my heart bursting with love as I watch her. A memory from when I first found out I was pregnant pops into my head and my stomach turns as I think about the fact that I almost didn’t keep her. My life was such a mess back then and for a brief second, I considered terminating the pregnancy but all it took was one look at her on the sonogram machine and I knew I couldn’t do it. Despite everything, she was mine and I wanted her. Honestly, I don’t know where I’d be if it hadn’t been for her. She gave me the strength and the drive to get my life back together. She saved me.
Sighing, I shake my head to clear those thoughts from my mind as I grab the remote and turn on Brooklyn and my favorite movie. As soon as the opening song starts playing, she stops playing with the block and stares up at the screen for a second before rolling to her hands and knees and crawling over to the couch. She pulls herself to her feet and I scoop her up, arranging her in my lap so she can watch the movie. With a sleepy sigh, she shoves her thumb into her mouth and starts sucking on it.
By the time Gaston starts singing in the pub, she is drifting off in my arms, her eyes getting heavier and heavier with each second that passes. The doorbell rings and she jerks up before looking at me with a pout and watery eyes.
“Shh, sweetheart. It’s okay,” I assure her, rubbing my finger along her cheek to calm her as I pause the movie and stand up. Climbing off the couch, I secure Brooklyn against my hip and walk over to the door, my body protesting with each step. When I reach the door, I yank it open and Lucas glances up, flashing me a gorgeous smile that takes my breath away.
“Hey,” I whisper, my heart racing in my chest.
Stress lines his face but his smile is genuine as he holds up a plastic bag. “Hey. I hope you don’t mind that I stopped by but I thought you might want some dinner.”
“No. Not at all,” I whisper, fighting back a big, cheesy grin. Brooklyn coos at him and when we glance down at her, she’s smiling at Lucas around the thumb still in her mouth. He chuckles, reaching forward and nudging her cheek with his finger.
“Glad to know I have your approval as well, little lady.”
She squeals, her grin firmly in place and I laugh as I turn to let him in. “Come on in. I was just putting her to bed.”
“Oh, actually… before you do that, I brought a surprise for her.”
I stop, turning to stare at him. “You did?”
With a smile on his face, he pulls a thin box of sparklers out of the bag before holding them out in front of me. My smile feels like it might crack my face.
“You brought her sparklers?”
“Of course, we couldn’t skip Independence Day just because you’re laid up.”
My heart pounds against my rib cage and heat creeps up my cheeks. “This is really thoughtful, Lucas. Thank you.”
“No need to thank me,” he says, holding his hand out to me and I grab it, allowing him to lead Brooklyn and I out to the porch swing where he instructs me to sit.
“Do you need any help?”
He shakes his head as he holds his hands out for Brooklyn, who gladly reaches for him. “Nope. You just relax, sweetheart. I’ve got this.”
With Brooklyn securely against his hip, he grabs the bag and carries her down the steps, into the yard. My pulse races watching him interact with her so effortlessly and for a brief second, I imagine what it would be like to have a real family with a mom and a dad for Brooklyn before pushing those thoughts from my mind. Even if I was ready for something like that, it’s way too soon to be thinking that with a man I just met a few days ago.
Lucas sets Brooklyn on her feet in the grass and I wince as she makes a face. She hates the feeling of the grass on her feet and she’s going to start screaming any second. Before I can stand, Lucas scoops her back up and tickles her belly, distracting her. Oh, Jesus. If he keeps doing things like this, I’m doomed.
With Brooklyn still in his arms, he manages to maneuver one of the sparklers out of the box and lights it. Brooklyn’s face lights up, transformed by wonder, as Lucas twirls the sparkler in front of them. She claps her hands, laughing as the sparks fly and my heart aches with happiness at the bright smile on her face. Lucas laughs along with her and my cheeks heat. I can’t tear my eyes away from the two of them. He’s so patient and loving that my mind has no problem drifting into territory that should be left alone.
The entire time I was pregnant, I knew this kind of thing wasn’t in our future and it was my greatest regret - not because I’m incapable of taking care of Brooklyn by myself or because I need a man - but because my heart aches each time I think about the look on her face when she has her first daddy-daughter dance or every Father’s Day when she has no one to celebrate. It’s not her fault that everything worked out this way but she’s the one who will bear the burden and that kills me. Watching them together now - it’s the picture I always wanted but was too scared to dream of and truthfully, still am. It’s the one thing I want most in this world and the one thing I’m terrified I’m never going to get.
They burn through two more sparklers before Brooklyn lays her head down on Lucas’s shoulder and my eyes burn with unshed tears at just how beautiful it looks. I have no idea if we’ll ever truly have a real family like I always dreamed of but this moment is pretty damn special.
“Are you ready for bed, Darlin’?” Lucas asks her so softly that I almost don’t hear him as I stand up and walk over to the top step before leaning against the railing. A smile spreads across my face as I cross my arms over my chest.
“I think it’s bedtime.”
Lucas meets my gaze and I practically melt on the spot. “I think you’re right.”
He gathers up the sparklers and puts them back in the bag before carrying Brooklyn up to the porch. She’s on her way to passing out and when I try to take her, he shakes his head.
“I’ve got her. Just lead the way.”
Nodding, I turn toward the house and walk into the foyer before pointing up the stairs. “Her room is right next to mine. I’d show you but I’m only making it up there once tonight.”
“Go relax on the couch, babe. I think we’ve got this handled,” he assures me, rubbing his hand across Brooklyn’s back as she sucks her thumb and sleepily looks at me. I nod with a smile on my face.
“Okay.”
He hands me the bag of food before turning toward the stairs. When they disappear from my sight, I turn toward the living room and pull my phone out of my pocket, opening the app that connects to the baby monitors in Brooklyn’s room. Lucas sits in the rocking chair in the corner of the room with Brooke lying on his chest, her thumb securely in her mouth as he begins rocking and telling her a story about a one-eyed dragon and a princess. He gets more animated as the story continues and a wide smile stretches across my face as Brooklyn giggles, her eyes getting heavy. After a few more minutes, the story comes to an end and Lucas stands carefully with a sleepy Brooklyn in his arms and gently lays her in her bed. He grabs her blanket and covers her before leaving the room. I tuck my phone back in my pocket as he comes down the steps.
“She’s out like a light,” he announces with a bright smile and I can’t help but mirror the expression. The stress from earlier is gone and he looks so carefree and happy. It’s infectious.
“Thank you. You’re so good with her.”
His warm smile washes over me as he sits down next to me. “No need to thank me and I’m only good with kids because I’m incredibly immature.”
He flashes me a grin but it’s obvious, to me at least, that it’s covering up something deeper. As he leans forward to pull the food out of the bag, something flashes across his face and that same stressed look greets me when he hands me my food and forces a smile. I’m dying to ask him about what’s wrong but the truth is, we still don’t know each other all that well and I don’t want to pry.
“You got anything to drink?” he asks and I nod, pointing to the kitchen behind me.
“Yeah, you’re welcome to anything you’d like.”
He leaves me on the couch to go to the kitchen and when he comes back, he has two bottles of water in his hands.
“I was gonna go for the wine but then I thought it wouldn’t mix well with your meds.”
I nod, taking the bottle from him. “You’re probably right.”
“Speaking of which,” he starts, sinking back into the seat next to me. “Didn’t the doctor tell you to stay your ass in bed?”
“Um… yes?”
“So why aren’t you?”
Glancing down at my hands, I feel a blush creeping up my cheeks. Why do I care if he’s upset that I didn’t listen to the doctor? “I really tried but after a few hours I was bored to tears.”
“Woman,” he mutters, shaking his head. “I have half a mind to carry you back up there right now. Are you at least taking it easy?”
“I promise I am.”
He nods with a sigh.
“You really don’t have to keep taking care of me though.”
He glances over at me and his eyes fall to my lips before he quickly looks away. “I couldn’t walk away from you. Besides, you’re not the hardest person to spend time with.”
“Well, thank you for that glowing recommendation.” I laugh and he grins. “You’re a good man, Lucas. I… just wanted you to know that.”
“Oh, I don’t know about that,” he says and although I know he is trying to make a joke, the pain on his face is too intense to ignore. Leaning forward, I reach up and run my thumb across the line on his forehead.
“Why do you always look like you’re carrying the weight of the world on your shoulders?”
He shrugs. “I don’t know. Maybe it’s just my face.”
“It’s not.”
He jerks back slightly as his eyes narrow and after a second, he sighs. “I’ve got a lot of shit in my life, Quinn, and the truth is, you’re the only thing I’ve found that brings me any peace.”
“You don’t have to talk to me,” I whisper even though I’m dying to dig deeper. “But I am a pretty good listener and I don’t judge.”
Setting his food on the coffee table, he sighs and turns to face me on the couch. “It’s… uh, my brother, Clay. He’s been using drugs for the last six years and if I’m not on a job for the club, I’m out searching for him and trying to get him clean.”
“That’s heavy,” I whisper, watching as pain splays across his face. He nods.
“Yeah. I know it may seem pointless or stupid to keep trying when he doesn’t even want my help but he’s my brother and since we were kids, it’s just been the two of us. He’s all I have left.”
I grab his hand and give it a squeeze. “You don’t have to explain that to me. Alice is all Brooklyn and I have left, too, and I would do absolutely anything for her.”
“You understand,” he says like I’m the first to ever do so and I nod.
“Yeah, I do.”
Clearing his throat, he smiles and my heart skips a beat. It’s terrifying but I have to admit that there is something about Lucas that gets to me. It would be so easy to fall for him if I allowed myself to but I don’t know if that’s something I could do.
“I’m really glad I met you, Lucas,” I whisper, my heart racing and his smile is blinding as he reaches over and brushes his thumb over my cheek. A blush creeps up my own.
“You just read my mind, babe.”
* * * *
“Well, Quinn, car accident aside, you seem to be doing well. Have there been any more nightmares since we last spoke?” Dr. Jeffers asks from her chair across from me. She crosses her legs and sets her notebook down in her lap as she waits for my answer. I nod.
“Yes, a few.”
“And how did you handle them?”
I think back to the last nightmare I had and smile. “Pretty well, I think. I was able to let it go and get my day started without too much trouble.”
“Excellent!” she exclaims with a grin before her eyes narrow as she studies me. “There’s something different about you since I saw you two weeks ago.”
I twist my fingers in my lap, thinking about dinner with Lucas last night and the movie we watched together afterward. “I met someone.”
“I see. More good news. How did you meet him?”
“He was there when I got in the accident and he sat with Brooklyn and I until the paramedics got there. He even rode with me to the hospital because I was so scared.”
Her smile is soft as she jots something down in her notebook. Not knowing what she was saying used to drive me crazy but I’ve gotten used to it, for the most part. “Has he asked you out or are you just talking?”
“No, we’re just talking. He also stopped by last night with sparklers for Brooklyn and dinner for me.”
“Sounds like a good man.”
I nod, twisting my fingers some more. “I think he is.”
“But you’re scared,” she supplies, stating what I’ve been thinking for the past couple days. I nod.
“Yeah, I am. He seems like a really good man and my heart races anytime he’s near me but there’s just so much in my past and so much that would affect any relationship we could have.”
She nods, jotting down some more notes. “This is an important step in your recovery, Quinn, and it’s essential that you learn to move forward with love. After all you’ve been through, it would be so easy to close yourself off and spend the rest of your life alone but I know that’s not what you want. Pushing yourself past this barrier won’t be comfortable for you but I know you’ll be happy once you’re on the other side.”
“Why don’t you ever have any easy fixes?” I grumble and she laughs.
“Sorry. That’s not how it works but I have faith in you. You can do this.”
I sigh, staring down at my fingers in my lap. “He hasn’t even asked me out.”
“Do you think he will?”
“I don’t know.”
She tsks disapprovingly. “Yes, you do. You just don’t trust your instincts anymore. Don’t overthink this.”
“How could I not?”
“After what happened to you, I know you have this intense need to know what’s around the next corner but life doesn’t work like that, Quinn, and you’re going to end up stalled out in the middle of the road for the rest of your life if you don’t learn to swallow that fear.”
“What if it goes terribly wrong?” I ask, meeting her gaze.
“The date? So what if it does? It’s two hours of your life and in the end, it won’t be that big of a deal. If you’re referring to the relationship in general, I have good news for you.”
I arch a brow. “What?”
“This is completely normal. These fears you have now are the same fears everyone has at the beginning of a relationship; they’re not from the incident.”
I nod, mulling over her words. “But what do I tell him about my past?”
“Whatever you’re comfortable with, Quinn. The key here is baby steps. You don’t have to unload everything all at once and if he’s as good of a man as you think he is, he’ll understand why you need to take things slow.”
The timer on her desk goes off and I release a breath, feeling lighter than I did when I walked in the door. Standing, I hold my hand out and smile. “Thank you.”
She shakes my hand before going to her desk and flipping through her calendar. “Again in two weeks?”
I nod and after we have my next appointment scheduled, I go out to my car and turn toward home with a smile on my face. Dr. Jeffers is right - I can totally do this. I’m still scared to death but her comment about spending the rest of my life alone scares me more. Whether it’s Lucas or someone else, I need to learn to move past this because I want a family someday - for Brooklyn and myself.
My phone rings as I pull into the driveway and I grin at Lucas’s name on the screen.
“Hey, you,” I answer.
“Hey, yourself. What are you up to tonight?”
I climb out of the car with keys and bag in one hand as I nudge the door shut with my knee. “Just getting home from a doctor’s appointment and then probably just hanging out with Brooklyn. Why? What are you doing?”
“I’m stuck on this surveillance job and I’m bored.”
I laugh as I step inside. “I’m so sorry about that.”
“Don’t be. You’re the only thing getting me through.”
Alice rushes past me with one shoe on her foot and the other in her hand as Brooklyn crawls along behind her, laughing. I bite my lip to contain my giggles.
“Hey, let me help Alice get to class and figure out dinner for Brooklyn and me and then I’ll call you back, okay?”
He groans. “You’re killin’ me.”
“I’m sorry. I’ll call you back as soon as I can.”
We say good-bye as Alice races back into the room, buttoning up her shirt. “Long day, Al?” I ask, laughing and she shoots me a glare.
“I fell asleep on the couch and woke up to Brooklyn screeching in my face.”
Brooklyn plops her butt down next to me and reaches up. Laughing, I reach down and scoop her up, my body still aching something fierce.
“Did you scare your auntie?” I ask her and she screeches again, smashing her little hands against my chest.
“Little monster,” Alice growls as her lips twitch with the smile she’s barely holding back. Brooklyn blows a raspberry at her and we both laugh. “That girl is a ham.”
“I think she gets it from her auntie,” I muse and Alice shakes her head.
“Oh, no. I had nothing to do with that. This little girl,” she says, tickling Brooklyn’s belly, “is one hundred percent her mama.”
Thank God.
The thought flits through my head without warning and my smile falls as I struggle with the memories threatening to resurface.
“Shit, Quinn…” Alice says and I shake my head, holding my hand up.
“No, I’m good.”
My phone buzzes in my hand and I glance down, thankful for the distraction.
Lucas:
Don’t worry about dinner.
Something is on the way.
Me:
Thank you.
I would tell him that it’s really not necessary but I’ve already figured out that he wouldn’t listen to me anyway. Besides, being taken care of for once actually feels pretty damn good.
“And who is putting that smile back on your face?” Alice asks, trying to peek at my phone. I lock the screen to hide it from her.
“No one.”
“Mmhmm,” she hums, walking to the door and grabbing her book bag before opening the door. “Tell Lucas hi for me.”
“Go to class,” I grumble, giving her a playful shove and she laughs as she steps outside and closes the door behind her. I turn to Brooklyn and make a face. “Your auntie is trouble, little girl.”
She blows another raspberry and I laugh as I set my purse down and carry her into the living room. Once I have her set up with her toys, I sink into the couch and dial Lucas’s number.
“Finally,” he answers and I shake my head, giggling.
“I don’t think that was even ten minutes. Thank you for dinner, by the way.”
“You’re welcome. It was entirely selfish, though since I wanted you to call me back sooner,” he answers and I laugh again.
“Noted. How was your day, besides the boring stakeout?”
He sighs. “Okay, I guess. Went looking for Clay but didn’t find him, which is pretty typical.”
“When was the last time you saw him?”
“Yesterday. I had to bail him out of jail, then we got into it and he ran off.”
My heart aches for him. “What did you fight about?”
“Uh…” he stutters before sighing. “My past is dark and complicated, Quinn, and I don’t want to scare you off.”
“I know a thing or two about dark and complicated,” I whisper, tears welling up in my eyes. “In fact, I might have you beat.”
“Now that, I doubt, but maybe you’d think about getting dinner with me and telling me about it?”
My heart skips a beat as butterflies race around in my belly. “Oh… I don’t…”
“Don’t give me an answer yet, okay? Just think about it and know that whatever is in your past, I can handle it.”
Dr. Jeffers’ comments from earlier pop into my mind and I suck in a breath. “I suppose I could think about it.”
It’s not a yes but it’s not a no either and it feels like a monumental first step for me.
Chapter Six
Quinn
My phone rings, rattling across the table top as I look over my binder for the children’s fundraiser and I scoop it up, smiling when Willa’s name flashes on the screen.
“Hey, what’s up?”
“Hey, boss lady. How are you feeling?”
I lean back in my chair and sigh. “Oh, you know, like I got hit by a truck.”
“Isn’t that joke getting old?” she asks, barely holding back her laughter and I shake my head.
“No, never.”
“We’ll have to agree to disagree.”
Laughing, I stand up and walk into the kitchen. “Oh, fine, ruin all my fun. So, what’s up?”
“I’m just wondering if I’m going to see you in the office on Monday?”
“Yeah,” I answer as I grab a bottle of water from the fridge. “I can’t afford to take anymore time off with the hospital fundraiser so close.”
“Did the doctor clear you?”
I roll my eyes. “Yeah, I saw him this morning.”
“Good. Are you going to need a ride in the morning?”
Stopping in the middle of the kitchen, I breathe a curse and look toward the front door. “I totally forgot that I don’t have a car anymore.”
“So, is that a yes?”
“Um… I’m not sure yet. Let me think it over and get back to you.”
It took the insurance company five minutes to total my Maxima and because I’d been ordered to take it easy, it never even occurred to me that I would need to go buy a new car.
“Have you gotten a check for the car yet?”
I sink into the chair as I shake my head. “No, not yet. They said it’d take a week or two but I may just go buy something today. I don’t want to put you or Alice out.”
“I really don’t mind, Quinn.”
“No,” I mutter, my mind mulling over the options. “I might as well get it taken care of now. One less thing to worry about, you know?”
“Okay, well, let me know if you need any help.”
I agree and we discuss a few things to go over on Monday before saying good-bye. When I hang up the phone, I set it down on the table and sigh. Shit. I guess I need to go buy a car today but Alice took Brooklyn and currently, our only vehicle, to the park to play. My teeth sink into my lip as my gaze drops to my phone. Lucas told me to call him if I needed anything but I don’t want to bother him if he’s busy. Tapping my fingernails against the table, I debate with myself for a few seconds before scooping the phone up and sending him a text.
Me:
Hey, you busy right now?
As I wait for his reply, I take one last look over the binder and make a list of the most urgent things I need to take care of before packing everything up. Just as I’m stacking it in the middle of the table, my phone buzzes and I grab it.
Lucas:
Nope. You okay?
Instead of texting him, I dial his number and press the phone to my ear.
“Everything okay?” he answers on the second ring and I smile, my heart beating a little faster at just the sound of his voice.
“Yeah, everything’s good. I just need some assistance today if you’re free.”
“I’m always free for you.”
A giggle spills out of me as I shake my head. “I’m not buying your lines.”
“Are you sure?” The playful tone in his voice sends a blush creeping up my cheeks and I’m glad the house is empty so no one else can see how much he gets to me. Alice has been relentless since she came home on the Fourth and found us watching a movie together but I’ve been able to appease her without spilling too much information. That won’t last long though.
“Yes, I’m sure.”
He sighs. “Fine. What do you need help with?”
“Well, the insurance company totaled my car so I kind of need to go buy a new one and I was hoping you’d come with me.”
“Absolutely,” he answers without hesitation. “Give me ten minutes and I’ll come pick you up.”
Glancing at the clock, I nod. “Okay, I’ll be ready. And thank you, Lucas.”
“Happy to help, gorgeous.”
We say good-bye and as soon as I hang up, I rush up the stairs as quickly as my sore body will allow and riffle through my closet before choosing a short white lace dress and my cowboy boots. I change and go into the bathroom to touch up my makeup as my belly does a little flip.
Oh, hell.
What am I doing?
I haven’t agreed to his request for a date and even if I had, this is not one. He’s just taking me to buy a damn car. I quickly change into a pair of jean shorts, a tank top, and a pair of flip-flops before ducking back into the bathroom. My hand shakes as I hold the lip-gloss wand in front of my face and I close my eyes as I suck in a breath.
“Baby steps,” I whisper, reminding myself of my talk with Dr. Jeffers yesterday. Opening my eyes, I stare at my reflection in the mirror. My cheeks are pink and my eyes are alive in a way they haven’t been in a really long time. If I close my eyes again, I can still remember the vacant look I’ve seen staring back at me for the last two years and I’m trying so hard to not get my hopes up but maybe I’m finally moving forward. Maybe the worst is really behind me. My lips stretch into a smile and I drop my gaze from the mirror as I shake my head. Who would have thought that getting hit by a truck would be just what I needed?
The doorbell rings, pulling my gaze to my bedroom door. “Shit.”
I drop my lip-gloss into my purse and rush back downstairs before yanking the door open as I pant. Lucas’s eyebrows shoot up and I bend over and brace my hands on my knees.
“You all right?”
I nod, sucking in air. “Yeah. I was just upstairs when the doorbell rang and apparently, getting in a car accident really takes it out of you.”
“You sure we should be doing this today?” he asks as I straighten and I nod.
“Yeah. I saw the doctor this morning and he cleared me.”
He watches me skeptically so I plaster a smile on my face and hope I don’t look like a crazy person.
“If you’re sure…”
I nod. “I am.”
“Let’s go buy a car, then,” he answers with a smile as he holds his hand out to me. I hesitate for a second before grabbing it and letting him lace our fingers together. My heart races and I fight back a smile as we walk to his truck. It’s been so damn long since someone’s held my hand and maybe I’m not remembering things clearly but I swear, it never felt this good. There is something about Lucas that settles me and makes me feel safe - I first noticed it at the accident and at the time, I assumed it was the situation. Now, though, I know it’s just him. No one else could have kept me calm the way he did.
“So,” he says, drawing my gaze over to him as he climbs behind the wheel of the truck. “Do you know what you’re looking for?”
I shake my head. “No idea. I liked my Maxima but I think I’m kind of wanting something new.”
“Sounds good. I know a guy who brings a lot of work into the bike shop so I thought I’d take you over to his place. He’ll take good care of you.”
“Okay.”
As we pull out of the driveway, he glances over at me. “Where’s Brooklyn today?”
“With Alice. She took her to the park and I was going over work stuff for Monday when I realized that I’d need a new car.”
He nods, turning back to the road. “If I had thought of it, I would have brought one over that you could borrow.”
“Oh, no, it’s really okay. It’s something I need to take care of so I might as well do it today.”
My phone buzzes with a text.
Willa:
Staff meeting Monday morning.
Don’t forget.
“Oh, Lord,” I mutter, rolling my eyes with a smile on my face. Like I could ever forget Willa’s weekly staff meetings.
“Everything okay?”
I glance over at Lucas and nod. “Yeah. It’s just my assistant, Willa, reminding me of our staff meeting on Monday.”
“You have staff?” he asks, brows raised, and I laugh.
“Besides Willa and I… no. Hence, why it’s so ridiculous but it helps her feel more organized so I roll with it.”
He stares at me for a second before turning back to the road with a scowl. “How old are you?”
“Twenty-eight. Why?”
“I don’t know. You just seem to have everything together and I still feel like I’m tripping through life.”
Laughter bubbles out of me as I shake my head. “Oh, no. Trust me, I’m just as big of a mess as anyone else.”
“Yeah, but you’ve got your own business, a great house, and a gorgeous kid. Looks like you’re killing it from where I’m standing.”
“Well, thank you,” I reply, a blush rising to my cheeks. “But the business and the house were actually my grandmother’s and she left them to me when she died a couple years ago.”
“Oh, I’m sorry.”
I shake my head, fighting back a few tears. “No, it’s okay. She was an incredible woman and lived an amazing life, which is what I like to focus on, no matter how much I miss her.”
“I know you said Alice is all you have left but what happened to your parents?”
Sucking in a breath, I twist my fingers together in my lap. “Wow. Going straight for the heavy stuff, huh?”
“Sorry. I’m just curious about you. You don’t have to answer if you don’t want to,” he assures me but the sincerity and kindness on his face urges me to continue. Reaching across the cab, I grab his hand.
“When I was eight, they dropped Alice and I off at Gram’s house to have their weekly date night. Mom always wanted this special candy they didn’t have at the theater so they stopped off at a gas station to pick some up and a man walked in with a gun. After he robbed the place, he shot the clerk and both of my parents.”
“Jesus Christ,” he breathes, giving my hand a squeeze as we pull into the dealership parking lot and he parks the car. “I’m so sorry, Quinn.”
I shake my head. “You have nothing to be sorry for. It was hard and still is sometimes but Gram was there for us. She took us in after they died and she raised us all by herself.”
“She sounds like an incredible woman.”
Our eyes meet and I smile. “She was.”
Time seems to stand still as the air around us grows heavy and he leans in, his gaze dropping to my lips. My body moves without any instruction from me, leaning into him as my skin prickles with anticipation and my heart pounds in my chest. Oh, god, what if I’m not ready for this? I want it so badly but there’s a very real chance that the moment his lips touch mine, I’ll lose it. My hand shakes and he gives it a squeeze, a soft smile stretching across his face and just when I think he’s going to close the distance between us, a bang echoes through the cab and we both jump back.
“Luke, my boy! What are you doing here?”
“Hey, Calvin,” he says, glancing out of the truck window as the round middle-aged man approaches the window. “I was hoping you’d help my girl find a new car.”
My cheeks heat as he turns back to me and flashes me a grin that could melt butter.
“Absolutely,” Calvin calls, excitement in his voice. “Nice to meet you, Darlin’. I’m Calvin.”
“Hi, I’m Quinn,” I call back with a wave. Calvin smacks Lucas’s arm and lets out a whistle.
“She’s fucking gorgeous.”
“Watch it,” Lucas growls. Calvin takes a step back with raised brows as I turn to look at Lucas. Maybe the edge to his voice should scare me but fear is the farthest thing from what I’m feeling. With him, from the very first moment we met, I’ve always felt safe and having him defend my honor, so to speak, stirs up feelings in me that I haven’t felt in a long time. Feelings that will have me agreeing to his date and anything else he asks of me if I’m not careful.
“Well, should we find you a car, then?” Calvin asks, pulling me out of my thoughts and I smile as Lucas glances over at me, searching for approval with his blue gaze. I nod.
“Yeah, let’s do this.”
Lucas instructs me to wait for him before jumping down from the truck and rounding the front. When he opens my door, he holds his hand out and I grab him as he guides me safely to the ground. We meet Calvin around the front of the truck and Lucas wraps his arm around my shoulders. I can’t help but feel like he’s sending a clear sign to Calvin for his earlier comment but I kind of like it.
“Do you have a car in mind, Ma’am?”
I bite my lips to keep from laughing at his formal tone as I shake my head. “No, I’m not really sure what I want.”
“Maybe you could just let us walk around for a bit,” Lucas suggests, his tone indicating that it’s really not a suggestion and Calvin nods.
“You got it. I’ll be in the office so holler if you need me.”
He practically scurries off and I turn to look at Lucas, barely holding back my grin.
“I think he’s scared of you now.”
He laughs and his whole face lights up, bringing back the carefree man I’ve been getting to know over the past few days. “Naw, I was just reminding him of his manners.”
“Mmhmm,” I murmur, glancing out across the lot as I cross my arms over my chest. “I’m pretty sure his shorts were wet.”
He laughs again and it warms my entire body. “He is right about one thing, though.”
“Yeah? What’s that?”
“You’re gorgeous,” he whispers, taking a step toward me. I back up until my shoulders touch the truck but he keeps advancing until he’s mere inches away from me.
Men have called me beautiful or gorgeous my entire life but somehow, when Lucas says it, it feels different - like he’s looking at me as a person instead of just long blonde hair, blue eyes, and a decent figure. With him, it feels like he sees the real me when every other man I’ve ever met was only interested in having me as a trophy on his arm but I’m still so scared to take this leap.
“Lucas, I…”
“I keep trying to remind myself not to rush this because I think from the moment you looked my way amidst the chaos of that car accident, I knew you were special but that’s so damn hard when all I want to do is kiss you every time you’re near me.”
“Oh, god,” I breathe out, trying to focus on anything other than the thought of him leaning in right now and planting his lips on mine.
“Tell me you feel the same way,” he urges, his breath fanning out across my face. “Tell me that I’m not losing my mind.”
“It’s complicated.”
He shakes his head. “No, it isn’t. This is the easy part so tell me, does your heart race just like mine every time we’re in the same room?”
“Yes, but…”
My words are cut off by his lips pressing against my forehead and I close my eyes, just soaking it all in as my body trembles. When he pulls away, our gazes connect and he smiles.
“That’s all I needed to know. Now, why don’t we go find you a car?”
* * * *
“Congrats, Darlin’!” Calvin exclaims as I sign the paperwork for my new Toyota Camry. When I’m finished, I drop the pen on the desk and smile up at him.
“Thank you for all your help.” We shake hands and he hands me the keys.
“You’re mighty welcome. Make sure you bring her by for the first oil change in five months. I had one of the boys put a little sticker on the windshield to remind ya.”
My smile is a little forced as I nod. Calvin seems like a nice enough man but I get the sense that he thinks I’m an airhead because of what’s between my thighs and my patience is wearing thin.
“Thank you.”
“Thanks, Calvin,” Lucas adds, his arm securely around my waist as he leans forward to shake Calvin’s hand. We all say good-bye before Lucas leads me outside where my new car waits for me and he holds his hand out.
“Let me get those keys, babe.”
I arch a brow. “Why?”
“Because I’m gonna have one of the prospects swing by and drive the car to your house.”
“I’m a big girl, Lucas. I can drive home,” I protest, pulling away from him. He nods, grabbing my hand and pulling me close again.
“I know you can but I want to take you home myself.”
“Oh,” I mutter, studying him for a moment before I hand the keys over. He grins and leans in to kiss my forehead again. Since we started our shopping trip three hours ago, he’s gotten more and more bold - grabbing my hand out of the blue and kissing my forehead anytime he pulls me close. I still have no idea what we’re doing or if I’ll even agree to a date but I can’t deny that I’m quickly becoming addicted to the feel of his arms around me. He makes me feel like the girl I was before everything went to hell and that’s a powerful drug.
Grabbing my hand again, he leads me over to his truck and opens the door for me before helping me up. Once I’m seated, he closes the door and rounds the front of the truck, texting someone and when he climbs behind the wheel, he glances across the truck at me.
“Someone is on their way to retrieve your new car.”
“Thank you.”
Turning back to the steering wheel, he starts the truck and leans over to turn the radio to the country station as I bite back a smile.
“So,” I start as we pull out of the parking lot. “Do I get to hear about your family now?”
He steals a glance in my direction before shaking his head as he blows out a breath. “That’s a heavy conversation that should probably be saved for later.”
“Oh.”
“I’m sorry… it’s just…”
“Dark and complicated?” I supply, remembering our conversation from last night.
He nods. “Yeah.”
Nothing I know about him would suggest that he is playing games with me but his unwillingness to tell me anything about his past doesn’t sit well with me. But then again, how well do I really know him? It has only been four days since the accident. God, I’m officially losing my mind.
We spend the rest of the ride home in silence and by the time he pulls into the driveway, I’m practically scrambling out of the truck to escape the tension. He meets me around the front and wisely doesn’t reach for my hand as we walk up to the front porch. At the door, I turn to him.
“Well, thank you for your help today.”
He runs his fingers through his dirty blond hair and sighs. “Listen, I know things got weird back there but I’m really hoping that you’ll still agree to that date we talked about.”
“I don’t…”
My words are cut off by the front door opening and Alice sticks her head out and grins at me. “Quinn, can I talk to you for a second?”
“Uh… Can it wait?”
She shakes her head and I peek over at Lucas before nodding.
“Just give me a second, okay?”
He nods and I duck inside with Alice. As soon as the door closes, my gaze roams over the hallway, searching for Brooklyn.
“Where’s Brooke?”
“Sleeping.”
I turn back to her and scowl. “So why did you call me in here?”
“Because you’re about to turn down a date with that ridiculously hot man out there.”
Sighing, I lean back against the door. “It’s complicated, Alice.”
“Because of…”
I cut her off by pressing my hand to her mouth, aware that she was able to hear my conversation with Lucas through the door.
“No,” I whisper.
“Do you like him?”
I nod. “Yes.”
“Okay, so then give this thing a shot.”
Dr. Jeffers’ comment from my session two days ago pops into my mind and I suck in a breath, peeking over my shoulder at the closed door as my heart races. Shit. Am I really going to do this?
“C’mon, Quinn. I have a good feeling about this guy.”
Sighing, I meet her gaze and nod. “Okay. I’ll agree to one date but that’s it.”
“Yes!” she squeals, jumping up and down excitedly. Shaking my head, I leave her to her victory party in the foyer as I step out onto the porch again. Lucas smiles as I meet his gaze.
“Okay,” I say with a nod and his grin grows.
“Yeah?”
I nod again. “One date - that’s all I’m agreeing to.”
“That will do for now,” he answers, pulling me into his arms and pressing his lips against my forehead. I say a little prayer to whoever is up there watching over me that he doesn’t destroy me as I melt into him, already in way too deep.