It was better than I remembered, maybe because I had Hollywood to compare it to. But kissing Lew now was like finally tasting steak after years of eating bologna.

He didn’t argue with me when I lowered him down onto the mattress and covered him with my body. If anything, I thought he might have been encouraging me, the way he moaned and spread his legs, giving himself to me freely the way he always had. Like he had no fear at all in him.

Me, I was terrified that at any moment I’d destroy this fragile agreement we’d come to. And at the same time, I couldn’t stop the urge to drown myself in his scent and roll around in the feel of him like a giant cat.

Lew stroked my back and my shoulders, the fingers of one hand tangling in the hair at the nape of my neck while I nibbled my way down his throat. I closed my teeth on his collarbone, startling a squeak out of him, then raised myself up to take his mouth again. He squirmed and pushed his hips up against mine, his hands roaming madly about my body like he was trying to memorize me again after all these years.

I didn’t have to worry about that—every inch of his skin was branded into my mind still. I knew the single freckle that rested in the shadow of his jaw, the tiny scar on his lip from when he’d fallen down the basement stairs as a toddler, the way the muscle sloped so beautifully from his shoulder to his neck, almost inviting me to set my teeth in it and mark him as mine.

I got a hand in under his t-shirt, desperate to feel the tenderness of his belly and tease at one flat nipple.

“Shit, no,” he muttered and began to squirm harder. For a moment, I thought he was trying to work his way out of his clothes, but then he hit me on the shoulder with an open palm and said louder, “Stop! We have to stop!” He shoved at me with real force this time.

I rolled to the side, but didn’t entirely let go of him. “What? What’s wrong?”

He shook his head, then started to sit up. “Let go. Now.” He pushed my arms away and swung his legs over the edge of the bed. I thought he might run and I was starting to panic that I’d screwed up again when he took a deep breath and buried his face in his hands.

“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have let that happen,” he said, his voice muffled behind his palms.

“Lew? What’s going on?” I worked my way over to the edge of the bed and sat beside him. “Did I hurt you?”

He shook his head, but didn’t move his hands away for another long moment. When he did, he let them fall into his lap and he stared across the room at an old picture of us on a school trip in grade twelve. “I shouldn’t have let it go that far. I can forgive you, sort of, for the phone call and breaking it off.” He turned to stare at me, his eyes dark with some emotion that I couldn’t quite figure out, even though that was part of my job. “I still love you, haven’t stopped. But whether I trust you… I don’t know, Mike.” His voice was soft, kind of wistful, and he looked back over at the picture with a noise that almost sounded like a sob. “You’re only here for two weeks. Not even that now. We dated for two and a half years before I thought I could trust you enough to sleep with you. How do I rebuild that in two weeks?”

For a moment, my mind went completely blank, and then I had an idea. A brilliant shining light of an idea, like a beacon in the night. “How about this?” I got off the bed, ignoring my still-obvious hard-on, and dug around in the top drawer of my dresser until I uncovered the ring I’d given him before I’d left for Hollywood. I’d found it when I’d unpacked during my first night home, like a mousetrap left to catch me unawares. Or a sign from Cupid. Whatever. Mom had cleaned it and put it in an old ring box of hers for safe-keeping.

Just like in the movies.

I turned and went down on one knee in front of him and held the box out. “Marry me. Before I go back. Marry me and come with me. It’s what I should have done back then only I was too stupid to see it. I love you, Lew. Never stopped loving you, because my heart was smart enough to know I’d never find anything better.”

He took the box with hands that shook and I watched him intently as he opened it.

He went utterly still and I only had a moment to realize my mistake before he snapped it shut and jumped to his feet. “No. Hell no. Did you even stop to think? I can’t believe this.” He started to pace, back and forth in my little bedroom. “You almost had me. I was almost ready to say yes. And then you try to give me this again?” He shook the box in my face, then wound up and threw it at the wall so hard it left a dent. “You fucking asshole!” he yelled. “Forget it. You haven’t learned a goddamned thing, have you?” He threw me a look that, by rights, should have made me burst into flames right there on my bedroom floor, then stormed out the door without another word.