HER

I ask him again. “When and how did you know it was my birthday, Kaine?”

He doesn’t say anything. I see his eyes narrow just a tiny bit, as if trying to process the thoughts running through his brain. I don’t know if it’s to try to understand my question, or to try to come up with an answer.

“Oh, are you sure? You must’ve brought it up in passing over the last few weeks,” he says.

But I know I haven’t. I never bring it up. And I make sure he knows that.

“I’m 100% positive that I did not tell you until the night before my birthday. I don’t ever tell anyone. The only people other than family who know are Harriet and anyone who has my personal records.”

He clears his throat, posturing a little, glancing over at Jemima, who looks down at some papers on her desk.

I ignore it all, staring at him. How did he find out about it?

“Kaine?”

He reaches around and scratches the back of his neck. I’ve never seen him like this, nervous, like he’s hiding something.

“Kaine? How did you know it was my birthday?”

“Jade. It’s not a big deal. I just knew, and I wanted to do something special for you.”

“That’s not an answer. And I’m not going to stop asking until I get one.”

“Jade.”

“Kaine? I’m serious. Tell me how you knew.”

It’s a standoff. He shoves his hands into his pockets and puffs out his chest, drawing himself up, making himself bigger.

But he forgets, I know just how tender he can be. And he’s forgotten how stubborn I can be. And I can stare him down until I get what I want.

“Xavier told me.”

“And how would Xavier know?”

“Jade, just let it go!” he pleads.

“What chance do you really think you have of that happening?”

“God! It was in the report we got about you, okay?”

“What report?”

“The report we got from... Dylan.”

“Your PI?”

“Yes.”

“Your fucking private investigator?”

He doesn’t answer, just cringes and tries to reach for me.

I step back and yank my hand away, my head shaking, trying to comprehend that the man I’ve been practically living with, sleeping with, sharing everything with, had me investigated. And then the betrayal cuts even deeper.

“You hypocritical asshole.” I hiss, the anger burning in my chest.

“Jemima, go.”

“Yes, Mr. Ashley,” she says, standing up and making for the elevator.

We both turn and watch her go, the fury building and building inside of me.

“I can NOT beli-...” I start.

“Wait,” he hisses, pressing a finger to his lips, gesturing his head toward Jemima, just as there’s a ding to announce the elevator’s arrival.

“No, I will not fucking wait. In fact, I’m not even going to fucking stay. Hold the elevator, Jemima,” I call out as I run to join her.

“No, don’t hold it, Jemima.” Kaine comes running after me, grabbing my hand just as I step into the elevator and pulls me back. “Go!”

Jemima reaches for the button to close the door and gives me an apologetic smile. The elevator leaves and we’re alone.

“I don’t want to talk to you, Kaine.” I say, refusing to look at him.

“Please, just listen!”

“What? What could you possibly have to say that would make this alright?”

“I just... I just had to know.”

“Know what?! If I was some sort of gold digger? After all your billions of dollars?”

“No, it’s just...”

“Just what? Or maybe... oh my God, or maybe I planned the whole mugging? I wanted to get stabbed in the stomach and have my throat almost slit?”

“Jade. Of course not, I didn’t think...”

“And that I loved having mobs of crazy New Yorkers camp out in front of my workplace?”

“You tried very hard to find me,” he says as an argument.

I gasp at the meaning behind the comment. He knows why I did that. And yet he’s bringing it up as an explanation.

“And I told you why. And I thought you understood.”

“I do.”

“You don’t.”

“I had to be sure, a man in my...”

“Position? I don’t give a crap about your position, Kaine. I didn’t know you from a homeless man when we first met, it’s not why I wanted to find you. You... you know, when you told me you’d been watching me on the security camera at your apartment, I didn’t like it, but fine, it’s your home. Then you stalk me, following me when I go to find Gabriel? Now I find out you had a fucking PI investigate me? Do you, do you even know what an invasion of privacy that is? I’m not one of your employees, Kaine! We’re... we’re supposed to... be something. Fuck, I don’t know what we are.” I throw my hands up in defeat.

He flinches. Like I’ve hurt him. As if I could.

I turn away from him, staring out the side window out into the grey ski.

“Don’t say that. You know what we are,” he says softly. And in this moment, I don’t agree with him.

“What? What are we? Huh, you apparently know everything about me? But what do I know about you? Nothing... NOTHING! You won’t share anything with me.”

“Jade. Come on.” He comes up behind me and pulls me tightly against him. I gather all my inner strength to push him away.

“You tell me nothing. I know nothing. Maybe this... has all been one-sided after all. Maybe, maybe what I feel isn’t real, because I don’t even know you.” I shake my head. I don’t know where to go from here. The rejection I feel every time I ask him something and he just disappears inside himself is too much for me.  “I... I’ve gotta go,” I tell him.

He runs up and grabs my hands, twisting them around, and backs me up against the wall.

I don’t meet his eyes, instead staring out into the abyss of the Manhattan skyline, begging myself not to cry. Not in front of him.

His hands are tight around my forearms, holding them up over my head. His body pressed hard against me.

“Jade.” There’s a desperation in his voice I’ve never heard before. It makes my heart ache.

“You do know me. God, don’t say that you don’t. You do. You know me better than anyone. You know me better than I know myself. Because, these last few days? It’s like I’ve been reborn. You brought me back to life. I’m here because of you.”

“Kaine. You don’t even trust me,” I tell him. And he flinches again, as if the revelation hurts him as much as it hurts me.

“I do, I trust you. I just... this was before you came to me. I, I wanted to know everything about you. I was yours the moment you fell into my arms. And if I couldn’t be with you, at least I could watch you from afar.”

“I don’t believe you.” But I want to. Make me believe you, I beg him in my mind.

He leans in, and crushes his lips against mine. It catches me by surprise, I don’t have time to resist. My body responds before I do, melting into him, my mouth, kissing him back.

His hands stay pinning my arms to the wall, as his mouth moves all over me, over my lips, my cheese, my neck. Like he can’t get enough of me, like he wants to ingest me, devour me.

“Kaine,” I whisper, half moan, half protest.

He drags his tongue along my décolleté, knowing how sensitive I am there, before pressing his forehead against mine, his eyes staring into mine, so close all I can see are his pupils, wide, open. “I’m showing you... I’m showing you how much I trust you, how much you know me. How much... I’m yours.”

With that, he sweeps me into his arms, carrying me back to his office, laying me down on one of the empty workstations in the middle of the room.

Keeping his eyes on me, he unbuttons the charcoal grey shirt he’s wearing and peels it off his body. Then go his shoes, his pants. And soon, he’s completely naked in front of me. There’s an aching vulnerability, one that’s palpable, soul wrenching.

He reaches up, somewhat awkward, his hand against his face, his scar.

And my heart breaks for him.

I reach out my hand to him, and he comes up, sliding his body on top of mine, reaching up under my skirt and between my legs. He growls, feeling my wetness. I’m ready, I’m always ready for him. Even in the fury, the anger, of our fight, I could never deny wanting him.

“Jade,” he whispers, pulling my panties down my body.

“Kaine,” I whisper back, my hands tracing lines up and down his neck and back.

“My beautiful, sweet Jade,” he says, louder this time, moving his hips to position himself, his finger flicking over my clit, making me lose all sense.

“God, Kaine.”

“Jade. My angel, my all,” he declares. And then he slides into me, Slow, deep, hard, purposeful, completely.

And it’s different to every other time.

He holds himself still inside me, as we both adjust to the feeling of being ultimately connected.

I arch against him and he takes my face in his hands, staring down at me, our eyes locked as he starts to make love to me. In and out. Each thrust, like it’s the first time. His pupils growing darker and wider as his breath becomes shorter and shorter.

“I trust you, completely, implicitly,” he struggles to say. Struggles from lack of breath, not lack of belief.

“I know,” I tell him, because I know he needs to hear it.

The words spur him on and I grip the sides of the table as his hips start to drive himself harder and harder into me. I’m so close, I can taste it.

I wrap my legs around his waist, grinding my hips against his just as I feel my orgasm break over me. He roars, throwing his head back as he crushes his hips against mine, his whole body stiffening as he empties everything he has inside of me. Our eyes never stray, watching each other commit all.

I take his face in my hands and kiss him. Kiss him until there’s no breath left.

He slides down onto the floor and pulls me down with him, cradling my head on his shoulder, smiling at me.

I reach out, my fingers approaching the left side of his face and he flinches and pulls away.

“Shhhhhh,” I coo, even though he hasn’t said anything. But he knows what I mean. He moves his head closer to me, and nods. I reach out again, slowly, and he closes his eyes.

My fingertips touch the side of his temple, tentative. And I pull back. Letting him adjust.

Then I lower my fingers to his cheek again, tracing the bumpy, jagged lines of his scar. His eyelashes flutter against his cheek and there’s a furrow of his brow, as if he’s imagining the journey my fingers are taking. One he’s taken himself a hundred thousand times. The scar is soft, giving under my touch. I reach the bottom of his jaw, where the jagged skin gives way once more to the smooth lines of his neck.

I move closer and press a kiss to his cheek, and he sighs and opens his eyes.

“My whole family died in a fire when I was nine years old. I was the only one who survived. My mother, my father, and my little sister Gillian. She was five. I was in a coma for two weeks, partly from a severe concussion caused by a part of the ceiling falling on my head just as I was running over to where I thought the rest of my family were. Where they died. I don’t remember it, but I have dreams of it. When I woke up, I’d missed the funeral. I had no one. And no one wanted me.”

I can’t even comprehend the horror of his words. To lose everyone, in that way. At such an age. And then to be completely alone.

I don’t say anything, I can feel more coming.

“My grandparents weren’t well enough to take me and no other family members cared enough to try. I was in the foster system until I was 15.  I would say that it was worse than my whole family dying in the fire, but of course nothing can beat that. But it was close.”

“Only 15? Is that when you were working at that paper mill factory in Brooklyn?”

“When I told you I bought that building, I wasn’t telling you everything.”

“The owner? Neil Thompson. He adopted me.”

“I met him through a big brother program and he let me work there, to keep me out of trouble. He found me sleeping behind the wooden piles one day and realized I wasn’t going to school. He said I could continue to work there every afternoon, as long as I provided proof that I’d gone to school that day. By the time I was 18, I was managing the factory. He took me in, clothed me, fed me, taught me. Loved me. The day before I turned 18, Neil legally adopted me. I have two fathers who gave me life.”

“Where is he now?”

“He died from a sudden heart attack when I was 20.”

“Oh my god, Kaine.”

“He left me everything.”

“He didn’t have any family?”

“He has a younger brother, Jacob. They were estranged. Jacob is not a good man and Neil spent most of his life covering for him and bailing him out. But he wouldn’t let Jacob near his company or money. Jacob isn’t thrilled I inherited everything, even though I’ve set him up with a trust fund. He’s gotten more than he ever would have if Neil were still alive.”

“Do you see him?”

“Only now and then when he wants something. He’s greedy but relatively harmless. That is, until now.”

“Why, what happened?”

“It’s... nothing. Just work stuff.”

“Kaine.” I say, a warning tone in my voice, and he lays back down and gives me a sheepish look.

“Sorry. Force of habit. You know my new product?”

“Of course.”

“Well, I’ve been getting threatening letters and packages.”

“Kaine! What are they threatening?”

“That’s just it, I don’t know. I don’t know if they’re threatening to launch the same product or just want to sabotage ours. I don’t know anything.”

He runs his hand through his hair, his agitation, his frustration clear on his face.

“Oh my God, can they do that?”

He shrugs, “I don’t know. I don’t know what they have. It could be a hoax, but from what I’ve seen, it’s not.”

“So, what do they want? Are they blackmailing you?”

“Strangely enough, no. They haven’t asked for anything, just seem to be taunting me.”

“You think it’s Jacob?”

“He’s the most likely suspect. But. Dylan... er, I have some people looking into it.”

I smile. “You can say his name. I might stab him in the eye with a fork if I ever meet him, but you can say his name.”

I settle back down and in his arms.

“Jade, you know everything that’s important to me. You might know the past now, but you’re what’s important. My future.”

“I believe you, Kaine.”

***

Kaine comes with me when Henry drives me back to work. His hand never leaves mine in the car even when he helps me out of it. My fingers entangle with his, making me dizzy with something that is deeper than joy. I’m enveloped by a warming, grounding sense of contentment.

“What’s going on?” Kaine asks me as we walk towards the entrance. There’s a crowd of library staff and some people I recognize as regulars standing near the alleyway.

“Harriet!” I call out, seeing my friend leaning against the wall, looking bored without her phone in her hand.

“Yay! Jade!” she says, her face brightening into a smile as she runs over to me. “And Myst-, er Kaine. Hi, Kaine,” she corrects herself, catching my glare.

Kaine laughs, “Hello, Harriet. What’s going on here?”

“Oh, false fire alarm. One of the smoke alarms wouldn’t stop beeping so they kicked us all out to take care of it.”

I quickly glance at Kaine who immediately reverts to work mode. “Oh? Who’s in charge of that?”

“Like who’s the fire warden?”

“No, I mean, never mind. Is Harold around?”

“Er, yeah, somewhere. I think he was talking to the hot firemen dudes.”

“Okay, I’ll go look. You stay here.”

“What was that?” Harriet turns to me.

“I dunno,” I shrug. “He owns, among other things, a company devoted to fire safety. I guess it’s like his version of porn seeing firemen here.”

“Speaking of porn...” Harriet starts.

“We weren’t really,” I cut her off before she takes the conversation in a direction I’m not prepared to go.

“Speaking of porn... why’s your hair all... like that, and where’s the scarf you were wearing this morning... and ohmygod you just had a booty call.”

“Shush.”

***

“I’m here from Ash Industries.”

I look up from my perch on the counter the next day, half expecting to see Kaine.

But it’s definitely not Kaine, unless Kaine has taken to not shaving and wearing a dangling emerald earring in his left ear.

“Um, okay. What can I do for you?”

“I’m here to take care of the installations,” earring man tells me.

“What installations?”

“The installations Mr. Ashley specifically ordered yesterday.”

“Um, okay. You’re going to need to talk to my manager.” I turn and walk to Harold’s office. “Er, Harold? Something about installations from Kaine’s company?”

“Oh. Great! Send them in.”

“They’re in.” I follow Harold out of his office. “What’s going on?”

“Well, Kaine came to talk to me yesterday about the smoke alarm situation thing. Then he told me about this new product his company’s launching and he offered to outfit our building with the new smoke alarms. We wouldn’t have to pay for it, some sort of deal thing subsidized by his company and the city. Whatever. And as a return favour, we’re letting his company hold the launch of their new product at the library next week.”

“Oh. That’s sounds like a great idea.”

“Good, because you’ll be in charge of the function,” Harold informs me.

“What?”

“It’ll be great publicity for the library. Everyone’s still following your story, and now there’s a happy ending.”

I groan.

The last thing I want is MORE publicity.