HIM

She’s quiet the entire ride back to my apartment. The only sounds from the back of the car are Gabriel’s occasional moans, and her softly comforting him, patting his arm and pulling my jacket up over his shivering body. Her face is as pale as it was this morning outside her office; her eyes are dark now, filled with worry. I don’t know what she thought was going to happen, but if there’s even the slightest thing I can do to relieve her burdens, I’m going to do it.

That revelation isn’t as surprising to me as I thought it would be.

“Drive around the back, Henry,” I whisper to my driver when we’re a block away, and his head nods.

I’ve called in advance to let the apartment building manager know that I’m going to need a private elevator waiting for me when we get there. Everything is ready just as I have requested, including my doctor, waiting in the apartment’s living room when we arrive upstairs.

“Henry, can you please take Mr. Sinclair into the guest bedroom? We’ll be there in just a second.”

I gesture for the doctor to follow Henry and Gabriel, and I gently press against Jade’s arm, keeping her back.

“Let the doctor examine him. Then you can be with him as much as you like,” I say gently. She nods and wanders over to the couch, clutching her bag against her chest.

I pour a glass of water and bring it over to her, sitting down on the couch beside her. She takes a sip of the water before I take it from her, placing it gently on the coffee table.

She looks at me for a moment and then lets out something that sounds half like a sigh, half chuckle. It’s a strange reaction to what’s going on.

“What is it?” I ask her.

“I was ...” she starts, then swallows. “I was just about to open my mouth to say thank you. Then I thought, the way things have been going with us, maybe I should just get a recording of it so you can replay it to save me the trouble of constantly repeating myself.”

I lean forward and take her trembling hand in mind. “You don’t have to thank me. You can forgive me, but you don’t have to thank me.”

“What the hell do I have to forgive you for?”

“Last night. The shower.”

“Kaine. I told you, that was all my fault. Maybe you should be the one forgiving me.”

I shake my head. She can’t let me off this easily. “I’m sorry I yelled.”

“I’m sorry I made you uncomfortable.”

“But...”

“You know something? If you think it makes sense to me now why you’re always wearing hoodies, it doesn’t. There’s nothing you should feel like you have to hide, Kaine.”

“Then the world needs more people like you.”

This time it’s clearly a chuckle. Or a snort. “I’d have thought you’d be the LAST person who thought that.”

I laugh along with her, glad to see her relaxing a little.

“Kaine?”

“Yes, Jade?”

“You’re a hero.” I look down and her hand is on mine. I don’t know what to say, so I say the truth.

“No, Jade. Heroes have hearts. I only have scars.”

She opens her mouth as if to protest but we’re interrupted before she can.

“Ms. Sinclair, you can come in and see your brother now.”

Jade jumps up, throwing her bag on the floor and runs to the guest bedroom. I watch her until I can hear the soft coo of her voice drift out to the living room, then I carry her handbag into my bedroom and drop it onto the bed.

Gathering up a set of clean clothes and a towel, I pile them up in the main bathroom before knocking on the guest bedroom door.

“Come in,” she says. And I smile at her sweet voice beckoning me.

I step into the darkened room, the blinds are pulled shut, with the late morning sun streaming through the cracks. Gabriel is asleep on the bed, while Jade sits on the edge, squeezing his hand.

“How is he?”

“The doctor said he’s just out. It’s not an overdose or anything. He’s given him some antibiotics, because it looks like he has some sort of infection. He, er, he did say that we should bring him in for some tests though, because... well, his body’s been through a lot.”

“And, we’ll do that. Once he gets some rest. If it’s not urgent, he can rest for a few days.”

“Can you, um, can you close the door on your way out please?” she says, tactfully kicking me out.

“Of course, I’ve left some clothes and a towel for him in the bathroom, if he wakes up and wants to freshen up.”

“Thank you, Kaine.” She doesn’t look up, and I take that as my cue to leave.

***

I look up from my laptop hours later; I realize it’s almost 2 o’clock and we’ve missed lunch. It seems having her nearby has been the one catalyst for me to concentrate on work though, and I glance at my empty email inbox with a sense of achievement. Sliding the laptop off my knees, I try to remember the last I heard from Jade. She’d come out about two hours ago to get some orange juice for Gabriel, but then disappeared back into his room and I haven’t seen her since.

Brewing a pot of tea, I pour a cup for her, and take it into the guest bedroom.

“Jade?” I whisper, not wanting to disturb Gabriel. “Jade, it’s Kaine, I have a cup of tea for you.” The door isn’t closed all the way and I push it gently open and step inside.

Gabriel is still asleep, now in my clothes. She must’ve have managed to help get him freshened up. I always believe in the power of a good shower, and I hope it will help him sleep better. Jade has reclined back into the chair by the bed, her eyes closed, her hands in her lap.

I put the cup of tea down on the bed side table in case Gabriel wants it, and pull on Jade’s arm, slinging it around my neck as I slide my hands under her back and legs. I stand up and carry her into my bedroom. Her head nuzzles against my neck, and her breath is warm on my skin. It takes a conscious effort not to burn every detail of her body pressed against mine to my memory, and I remind myself, I’m just trying to help her.

I lay her onto the bed and she rolls out of my arms and onto the mattress, reaching for the pillow and sinking her head into it, as if she’s done it a thousand times.

“Hmmmm...butter,” she murmurs.

“What did you say?” I whisper, sitting down on the bed next to her, pulling the sheets over her body.

“Bed. Like butter.”

“Shhh, get some sleep.”

“Butter. Like Kaine’s lips,” she mutters, this time making me freeze.

Did she say my lips were like butter?

“What did you say?” I press her, not being able to resist my name on her lips.

“Nothing. Just... I bet Kaine’s lips are soft like butter.”

Then, without a hint of warning, her arms come up to circle around my neck and she pulls my mouth down to hers.

I lose all control in that moment. My arms slide around her back and pull her to me, the feel of her body against mine, making me instantly hard, and the scent of her orange blossom hair engulfs me.

My mouth is on hers and it’s everything I thought it’d be. Soft, warm, sweet, intoxicating.

And then just like that it’s over.

Her arms slip from my neck and flop onto the bed, her head falls back on the pillow, asleep.

I wrestle with my need to take her there and then, fuck her, make love to her, possess her, consume her, whatever you want to call it. But instead, I stroke the hair from her forehead, lean over and steal another soft kiss from her lips, and tiptoe out of the room.