Chapter Twenty-Four
Helene
He held my hand as we walked through the large cavernous store, and when we stopped in the long aisle of flooring and tile, he rested his hand on the back of my neck, his middle finger stroking forward and backward as he looked. All I could think about was sex—sex with him. Me thinking about sex… Yeah, that was new.
“Do you like this?”
“Yes,” I breathed the response out quietly before I realized he was referring to a neutral colored travertine tile in front of us and not what his fingers were doing to my neck.
He leaned over and kissed the side of my neck as he chuckled. “Yes to the tile, or yes you’re ready to wrap those delicate little fingers around my cock?”
I shivered for a moment, and then I forced my eyes to focus. I turned to him. “It’s a beautiful tile.”
He pulled me down the aisle as he laughed. “Always such a brat,” he commented over his shoulder.
I randomly flipped through a large display mounted book of carpet samples as he placed the order for the tile, and when he was finished there, we moved on to the trim. It took little time for him to pick out a wide white trim with a simple straight edge, and we breezed through the kitchen section so he could show me what cabinetry he’d already ordered a few weeks prior. It wasn’t until we were standing in front of a wall of cabinetry pulls that we slowed down again.
He pointed to an atrocious chrome pull that would be disastrous with the kitchen he’d picked out, and I snorted. He had to be kidding.
“What?” I asked incredulously. “Really? No.”
He smiled as he shrugged. “Have at it, dear.”
I touched the display knobs as he watched, and when I stopped at an antique looking crystal knob that would be perfect for the distressed off-white cabinets he’d ordered, I picked up one still in the plastic wrapping. Kane stepped up behind me, and he clutched my waist in his hands as he pulled my bottom back to his groin.
He was aroused and hard. I was starting to think it was his natural state. Or maybe he just wasn’t getting what he needed from me. He definitely wasn’t. His breath tickled the back of my ear as he leaned over my shoulder.
“It’s beautiful. Good choice. You can’t imagine how desperate I am to be inside you. Now tell me, is your pussy still wet from being licked?”
I glanced up and down the aisle. It was deserted, and I nodded.
“I can still taste you,” he whispered. “How about you kiss me, so I can show you just how delicious your cum is.”
I angled my head toward him, bringing my mouth close to his as he still leaned over my shoulder. “I’d rather touch you,” I whispered.
He exhaled deeply, and it trailed off in a warm hum as his fingers tightened on my waist and he pulled my bottom back to his body even harder.
“Well, if it isn’t Helene Hess herself,” came a friendly male voice. “And … Kane Thorson,” the voice continued with a hint of confusion.
We both looked up, taking a step away from each other.
“Fuck,” Kane muttered under his breath.
I glanced quickly at Kane before I looked down the aisle. I laughed. “Jake Rigby,” I said as I walked toward the man. “Or is it Reverend Rigby these days,” I said with a smile. “Hilde and Mark mentioned you were the head pastor at their church.”
Jake and I had been friends in high school. In fact, Jake was friends with just about anyone looking for a friend. When I found out he’d finished seminary and settled back down in Hazleton, I wasn’t the least surprised to hear it was as a pastor in the local Methodist church.
“Yes. Hilde and Mark have such lovely children. You must be a very proud aunt.”
I nodded as I glanced at Kane just over my shoulder. He was hanging back, shuffling his feet and looking around nervously. I scoffed for a moment, confused why he would act so odd around a man who could possibly mean him no harm. Jake didn’t inspire enemies, and Kane and he had been friends in high school too, largely because Jake hadn’t cared any more than I had how many times Kane had been expelled.
But when I turned back and took another step toward Jake, my eyes caught on a woman rounding the endcap with a package of light bulbs in her hands, and I figured it out.
“Honey, are these the ones you’re looking for?” The married girlfriend from the restaurant asked Jake, and he turned to answer her.
I spun to face Kane who was still nervously shuffling about, and when he glanced at me, he looked away quickly, and his eyelids fluttered and closed. Forcing myself to turn back to Jake was painful. Looking at his wife was this incredible combination of pain, humiliation, and complete jealousy.
“Helene… Helene.” Jake fumbled with his wife’s arm for a moment as he spoke to me. “I want you to meet my wife. This is Lisa,” he said proudly as he pulled the woman up beside him. Jake’s grin was so wide it broke my heart.
I closed the space between us, and when Lisa looked at me, the broad smile that had been on her mouth moments before fell. She cleared her throat. She glanced past me to see Kane, and then her face turned red and pinched in anger before she could stow it. She turned, taking a step away from her husband for a moment, and when she rounded, she clutched her hand to her stomach, shaking her head. She looked furious, but then she looked past me at Kane again, and her eyes pooled with tears. Maybe it was heartbroken.
“It’s good to see you, Jake.” I had to force the words from my mouth.
He pulled me into a hug, oblivious to his wife’s behavior behind him. “Ah, you as well, Helene. I’d heard you were back in town, teaching at the college as you work through your dissertation. Quite the accomplishment, Helene. I can’t say I’m surprised, though. I always knew you were headed somewhere.” His eyes glanced over my shoulder, and his brow flinched. It was confusion again. But Jake pursed his lips, smiling awkwardly. “How are you Kane? You remember my wife Lisa, right? I introduced you two at the Fourth of July parade.”
Kane stepped up beside me, clearing his throat. “Yeah… Yeah. Hi Lisa,” he said tightly.
Lisa plastered her smile back on her mouth. “Hi,” she said curtly. And then she turned her attention to me, her lips tightening into a straight line. “You are again? I’m afraid I didn’t catch the name.”
I held my hand out, forcing it to stay rigid and not tremble. “Helene. I graduated with Jake … and Kane.”
“Lisa.” She instantly turned her attention to her husband. “We should…” She cocked her thumb over her shoulder. “…get going.”
“Oh… Yeah. Sure, dear.” Jake returned his attention to me. “It was so good to see you, Helene. I’m really glad you’re back in town.” He held his hand out to Kane. “Kane, very good to see you, too.”
“You, too.” But Kane’s eyes glanced away.
Jake smiled awkwardly at Kane again, clearly thrown off by his nervous behavior. But then he took Lisa’s hand, and they headed back the way they came. Lisa glanced over her shoulder, tucking her hair behind her ear as she did to hide the move from her husband. I stood staring after them, trying to wrap my head around what had just happened. I was angry. I also didn’t think I had any right to be. But I’ll be damned if I wasn’t furious.
Kane said nothing as he stood beside me frozen in place.
“I’d like to go home,” I finally said quietly, and I walked away.
He followed me silently from the store, the cabinetry pulls forgotten, and when I climbed in the truck, I didn’t bother looking at him. I wanted to cry, and I didn’t know why. I wanted to yell, and again, I couldn’t quite rationalize it. I suppose it had something to do with the fact that we both knew Jake, always had, and there wasn’t a single person on this planet who wanted to hurt Jake. And yet, Kane had hurt him—even if Jake didn’t know it. That was a hard pill to swallow, and it made me angry.
It also terrified me. Because there were simply no limits for him—none I could see at any rate, and that could hurt me—just like it did Jake. And perhaps just like Jake, I would never know.
We were silent on the way to my house, and when he pulled in, he left his hands on the steering wheel, still refusing or too afraid to look at me. I sat there for a moment, contemplating saying nothing and simply climbing out. I reached for the door and pulled the handle.
“Please don’t go,” he whispered.
My chest tightened, and it hurt. I stared at the dashboard, but I could see Kane’s hand out of my periphery, gripping tight on the steering wheel, twisting against it.
“Am I just another…?” I contemplated finishing that sentence but then decided it required nothing more.
He turned to me, but I refused to look at him, staring straight ahead at his dashboard.
“Another what?” he asked.
I did look at him then. “Another anything. Another fight, another fuck, another coping mechanism.” My lips trembled.
“What?” he looked furious for a moment, but then his face fell, and he looked away shaking his head. “Is that what you think?”
I looked at him. “Am I wrong? I mean, that is what we’re doing here, right? You want to fuck me.”
He shook his head. “Not fuck. The only thing in the world I want is to be close to you.”
I finally pushed the car door open, tears flooding my eyes. “That doesn’t require sticking your dick in me—”
“Yes, it does!” he snapped loudly. “It’s not fucking… I need… I need…” he stuttered. But he couldn’t seem to figure out what he wanted to say.
I climbed out, pausing with my hand on the door as I brushed a tear away. “What you need could hurt me.”
He stared straight ahead, and when he closed his eyes a tear ran down his cheek. I closed the door and walked away.
The second I entered the house, I sank against the door behind me and let my body slide down it until I was sitting in a heap on the floor. I reached up, clicking the deadbolt into place.
“Fuck,” I spat out as I gripped my forehead in my hands.