“You met the Fates?” Seth was still squeaking about it an hour after they’d got home. The house was on lockdown when they’d arrived and rather than get the shower and food they so desperately needed, all three of them were required to sit before the whole pack and explain over and over what happened. Still in shock by what he’d done, Liam did his best to answer the many questions asked, but even Beau’s comforting presence couldn’t help. As Lucien went over what happened one last time, Liam slipped out of the living room and went into the kitchen.
Everything all looks the same, he thought as he opened the fridge, swiping a bowl of Brutus’s chicken wings left over from the night before. Sitting at the table, he picked at one of the spice covered wings, pulling it apart, trying to summon the energy to eat. The clock on the stove ticked over, the surfaces still gleamed the same as they had that morning. The only thing that’s changed is me, Liam blinked as his eyes filled.
“I killed a man,” he said to the bowl of chicken. “Worse than that, I killed my own mate.” Pushing the bowl away, Liam sank his head into his arms on the table, letting his tears flow. Every second on the ride back, his logical brain told him he did the right thing. Theo was a menace; a danger to his friends, family and Arrowtown. And Beau. Especially Beau. But the part of Liam who’d pined for Theo the long month they’d been apart couldn’t help feeling responsible and somehow guilty for what he’d done.
“Thank you.” A hand rested on his head and Liam looked up to see Simon staring down at him. The snake shifter was impassive at the best of times, but it was as if a veil had lifted. There was true compassion shining in Simon’s eyes. “It’s never easy to take a life, especially one you feel a connection too. I wish with all that I am, that I’d been the one to do it instead of you.”
“I wouldn’t wish this on anyone, especially one of my dearest friends.” Liam sat straight and wiped his face. “It’s just…I’ve known of him my whole life…yes, he rejected our mating…but….”
“You still pined for him.” Simon sat in the chair beside him. “I don’t know what that’s like because it’s never happened to me, but taking a life is something I know about.”
Liam frowned, remembering the disappearance of Seth’s sperm donor months before. The Fae’s body had never been found. “Does it ever get easier? Living with what you had to do?”
“You have to make your peace with it.” Liam was shocked when Simon’s hand covered his. “I’m not the type to give the bullshit advice from others. Time heals all wounds and crap like that. I’m saying you did what had to be done. Tell me this. How would you have felt if Beau, Lucien, Ra or even me had taken that killing blow?”
Looking down at their joined hands, Liam thought about what Simon was asking. Would it have been easier, if someone else had killed Theo? “No.” He shook his head. “No. It had to be me. It might sound weird but this way at least, I have no one else to blame.”
“Because he was your mate and if anyone else had killed him, even knowing it was the right thing to do, you’d have still felt some resentment towards that person.”
Liam nodded. “I wouldn’t mean to, but I spent over a month with my head full of nothing else but Theo. In my fantasies he was the perfect mate. What a fucking fool I was.”
“You weren’t foolish.” Simon’s voice was firm. “You saved his life and you let him walk away after he kidnapped me. When you knew he threatened my life, the life of my kids, this pack and yes, I am sure he was a threat to Beau too, you did the one thing most of us would think impossible. But you did it because you’re strong and your heart is in the right place and I respect the hell out of that.”
“Then why do I feel like such a monster?” Liam’s tears had returned full force and he did nothing to hide them as another thought hit him. “My gods, what if Beau resents me for what I did? What if we can never get past that?”
“Why don’t you ask him yourself?” Simon nodded towards the door. Beau was leaning against the door frame, his arms crossed. Patting his hand, Simon stood. “You are not a monster. Me and my mate will remember what you did today for the rest of our lives. If you need anything, anything at all, you just let me know. For the first time since this mess started, me and Darwin can sleep easy tonight, knowing our family and friends are safe.”
“You were worried Theo would come back for you?” So caught up in his own dramas, Liam hadn’t even considered that Simon and Darwin might be struggling too.
“It’s what bad guys do.” Simon crossed over to the door. “It always struck me Theo was too damn compliant when he left the first time. But now none of us need to worry about it anymore. Beau,” he nodded at the other shifter, “take care of him, okay?”
Beau nodded and brushed past Simon. Within seconds Liam was encased in arms he was coming to love. “What did that bit of chicken ever do to you?” Beau asked with a smile and a nod at the table. Liam had forgotten about the shredded chicken. His stomach took that moment to rumble loudly.
“How about we get some food and then take some time, just you and me? What do you say to that?” Beau asked gently.
Peering up, Liam’s greatest fear spilled from his lips. “Can you still love me after what I did, or will a part of you always resent me taking our other mate away from you?”
“I think you and I have the makings of the strongest mating in the whole country,” Beau said seriously, and Liam didn’t scent a hint of deceit. “I think you and I need to grieve over what we’ve lost but I think if we’re open and honest with each other and communicate, I know we’ll be in love before too long. We both had hopes about Theo that were unfounded and we’ve got to process that. I know you’re going to struggle at times over taking a life, and I’ll support you through that. As for me, the vision of your death is going to haunt my dreams for a while, I reckon.”
Liam hadn’t thought of that, although in fairness, he didn’t know he had died until Lucien told him. “But you won’t resent me?” He asked softly.
“My only regret is that I couldn’t protect you from what needed to be done. Someone as sweet and loving as you should never have to face evil like that head on. But I promise I feel nothing but thankful that you broke a bond that would have killed us both in the end.” Beau nuzzled his hair and Liam’s hungers started to war with each other.
“You’ve showered,” he said, wrapping his arms around Beau’s neck and pulling him down until their mouths were level.
“That’s not all I’ve done.” The twinkle in Beau’s eyes increased and Liam’s heart felt lighter. “How about we get some food into us, and I’ll show you what I mean.”