“How do I feel? I feel like dog shit, Rae,” Cliff grumbled. “I probably look like dog shit. too.” He was wearing one of those horrible, backless hospital gowns and looked uncomfortable atop the lumpy, industrial-looking hospital bed. Wires and tubes extended from his arms and hooked into machines, turning him into a reluctant, foul-tempered cyborg.

God, I hate hospitals. Just being in the room reminded me of when my dad was sick.

“I’m sorry Cliff,” I told him. He huffed dismissively in response. His mop of gray hair shook aggressively, free of its usual oiled style. I’d long thought he was wearing a toupee, but now, I wasn’t so sure. Nobody would have a toupee that ugly. No way. That hair was real.

As obnoxious and painfully hard to take as Cliff was, there was no dignity or comfort with being in a hospital. I’d spent more than enough time in hospitals when I was a kid. The smell was exactly the same as I remembered; it was the scent of strong chemicals mingled with sadness, sickness, and death. I couldn’t wait to get out of there. I imagined Cliff felt the same way.

“When are they going to let you out?” I asked, and he shrugged.

“Ask that heifer of a nurse they gave me.” He dropped his voice conspiratorially. “None of the nurses here are even remotely attractive. That used to be the one upside to being sick! Now they just let anyone be a nurse. Even men. It’s disgraceful.”

It took some effort on my part, but I managed to avoid lecturing Cliff that nurses were medical professionals and not around for his entertainment or sexual titillation. To Cliff’s right, Annie and Kyle exchanged a disgusted glance. Usually I tried my best to insulate them from the worst of Cliff’s opinions. Tonight, there was no way to do that. They were getting the full Cliff treatment.

“The doctor said that as soon as his echocardiogram came back they would consider discharging him,” Annie explained since Cliff seemed unduly fixated on the nursing situation.

“I didn’t need an echocardiogram,” he groused. Annie rolled her eyes.

“Just like you didn’t need an injection of epinephrine to open up your airway so you wouldn’t choke to death?” she challenged.

“Did I ask your opinion?” he snapped back at her. “How about you keep your commentary limited to the job.”

“That’s—” Annie started.

“Excuse me—” Kyle tried.

“Why don’t you and Kyle both wait outside?” Cliff interrupted, speaking over them. “I didn’t realize until tonight how annoying you both were. At least Rae is rational.”

I knew it was pointless to try and defend them. It would only make Cliff turn on me. The best way to help them was to get them out of his line of sight. Neither seemed particularly put out to be banished to the hallway. “I’ll tell you guys everything later,” I said in a low voice as I shut the door. They looked relieved to be away from Cliff. I could hardly blame them.

“Alright, how’d it go?” Cliff asked me now that we were alone. “Is he as much of a genius as they say?”

“It’s hard to say whether he’s a genius, but he’s interested in selling,” I told Cliff. “The meeting went well. I think we’re in business. We can start due diligence tomorrow.”

“I hope you unbuttoned a few of those buttons like we talked about,” Cliff told me, staring unabashedly at my chest. He was really laying it on thick today. I tried to chalk it up to his experience with the allergic reaction and some kind of mild-altering drugs he might be on, but it was hard not to take offense. Besides, this wasn’t all that much different than his usual behavior.

I didn’t rise to his bait. “Once we get you discharged, we’ll need to talk about the management agreements,” I told him, trying to steer the conversation back towards business. “I’m not sure that Stevenson will like our standard terms. He seems very independent.”

Cliff shook his meaty head. “Azure Group won’t budge on that. I’ve tried before, but unless you’ve got something on McKenzie, Stevenson will be signing the same deal as everyone else.” He shrugged. “They fuck everybody over equally, at least. So you can’t say it’s unfair.”

A light knock on the door interrupted us. A man wearing a stethoscope stuck his head in. He evaluated the situation in an instant and recoiled.

“May I come in?”

Cliff nodded at the man reluctantly. “I suppose. I hope you’ve got my discharge papers in that folder.” He eyed the folder in the doctor’s hands.

The doctor, a forty-something-year-old with a shaved head and bright, caramel brown eyes shook his head. “I’m afraid not Mr. Monroe. You’re going to have to suffer through our hospitality for a few more hours. My name is Dr. Alverez. Do you mind me discussing your health information in front of your…” he looked at me curiously, “daughter?”

I bit back a smirk. Thank god, no. “Coworker,” I corrected. “I’m his coworker. I’ll step out if you like, Cliff.” I started to make towards the door.

“Nah, stick around,” he suggested. “I don’t care if you hear. This’ll only take a moment. I’m as healthy as a horse.” He looked at the doctor like he was daring him to disagree.

The doctor didn’t seem the least bit concerned with Cliff’s feelings on the matter. “If you mean a horse with a defective pacemaker, then yes,” he told Cliff. “I’m afraid your echocardiogram revealed some serious issues that we need to discuss.”

“You’d better be shitting me, son.” Cliff’s tone was the same one he’d use to scold a dog.

“Mr. Monroe, I assure you that I am not shitting you.” The doctor smiled a thin, very cold smile.

I liked this doctor. He gave zero fucks about whether or not Cliff liked what he was telling him or not. He’d probably just finished stitching a stabbing victim back together or delivering a baby or something. It was obvious that Cliff’s feelings were just not high on his priority list. He pulled out the results of the test and began explaining them in as simple of terms as I think he was able. I didn’t really understand what he was talking about at all, though it sounded serious. Cliff looked entirely blank.

Cliff interrupted after a few seconds. “I don’t know where you’re from doctor, but I don’t speak that language.”

“I’m from Houston, Mr. Monroe.” Dr. Alvarez’s response to Cliff’s casual racism was equal parts displeasure and sarcasm.

“Well can you break it down for me? Give me the bottom line? I don’t know what you’re babbling on about.” Cliff was still talking a good game, but I could tell that he was starting to become concerned. His pink skin had turned pale and he clutched his hands together across his middle.

“Certainly. You have heart disease, Mr. Monroe.”

“I knew that already.” My boss frowned. “It runs in my family. Everybody has it. My dad died of it. Uncle too.”

The doctor nodded. “And that genetic predisposition likely contributed to your development of the disease. It has also been exacerbated by your obesity, heavy drinking, sedentary but high-stress lifestyle, and use of tobacco.”

Damn. Dr. Alvarez was really sassy. I guess he’d seen one too many patients with attitude today.

Even Cliff didn’t seem to have a snappy comeback for that. “Fine. I guess, um, I guess I need to go on Nutrisystem and scale back on the booze. But why does that mean I need to stay in the hospital? Just up my blood thinners and send me on my merry way.”

“I will be upping your blood thinners, but before we can, as you say, send you on your merry way, we’re going to need to address your pacemaker.”

“What’s wrong with it?”

“It’s off.”

Cliff frowned deeply. “What do you mean, off? They aren’t supposed to turn off.”

Dr. Alvarez smirked. “And they say I’m the doctor around here.”

“What do you mean it’s off?”

Dr. Alvarez looked at Cliff like he wasn’t sure if he was being messed with and then seemed to conclude that Cliff genuinely didn’t understand what he was being told. “Your pacemaker has malfunctioned. It’s no longer working as intended.”

Cliff frowned. “That’s… that’s bad.”

“Yes, Mr. Monroe.” Dr. Alvarez looked relieved that he’d finally gotten through to Cliff. “I’m afraid it’s very bad, but entirely correctible. We need to get you home to New York and scheduled for surgery. Your cardiothoracic surgeon will need to remove the defective device and implant a new, functioning pacemaker. These malfunctions are extremely rare, yours is the first I’ve ever seen. We probably never would have caught the problem if you hadn’t been stung by a bee, had a reaction, and put so much stress on your heart.” He shook his head. “You’re actually a very lucky man.”

I had to wonder whether or not Dr. Alvarez thought that Cliff was undeserving of his luck. I’m sure he saw plenty of people in this emergency room who had bad luck. People that were just going about their daily lives when something horrible happened to them. A terrible accident or an act of violence for example. Dr. Alvarez probably saw lots of innocent, nice people that had done nothing to contribute to the issues that brought them to his ER.

Then there was Cliff. He’d been doing his level best to kill himself through poor lifestyle choices for the past thirty years. But even swallowing a bee couldn’t kill Cliff. He just kept on ticking. Like a fat cockroach.

“Well,” Cliff said to me after the doctor departed, “I guess you’ll be on your own for this deal with Stevenson.”

“I guess so.” I tried not to sound too excited.

“I hope you don’t screw this up too bad.”

His faith in me was always so inspiring.

I smiled at him. “I’ll be fine. You should focus on getting better.”

Cliff shook his head at me. “Do you know what you’re getting yourself into?”

“Sure,” I told him. “I got this.”