Chapter 11
The walk from the diner to the lobby is just a few yards. The crowd is too interested in Lorenzo to even notice us. I pick up a pebble and stick it in my pocket and follow Katrina into the lobby and then the elevator. She pushes the button for the twentieth floor and I lean back against the wall. My head is pounding and I’m so cold.
It seems like an eternity before I’m at the door and fumbling with the key card. I’m desperate for my pillow. I cough and Katrina takes the card from me to open the door. When it opens, I race to the bed and fall face down on it. I can feel my shoes being untied and taken off but I’m so tired. A gorgeous woman is starting to undress me and I don’t have the energy to even care.
“Can you roll over?” When I do, she covers me with the blanket.
“You dropped something.” I hold my hand out and she gives me a questioning look. Her hand brushes mine and I drop the pebble into her palm.
She stares at it. “A rock?”
I shake my head no. My eyes are too heavy to open but I manage a smile. “Not a rock. A piece of the wall.”
She rubs her hand through my hair. “Sleep, Chance. You’re delusional.”
I put my hand on top of hers. I know exactly what I’m doing.
When I awoke from my nap, I felt a bit better. Katrina was gone and for a minute, I thought maybe I had dreamt the whole thing. The note on the nightstand assured me it wasn’t. I smile as I read the words to call her if I need anything. I wonder if calling her for more Tylenol would make her come back.
I float on my back in the huge hotel pool. My bodyguard slipped enough money to the staff to allow me to have the pool to myself for an hour. It probably makes me an asshole but I needed some time to myself and the water has always been my home. When we are back in LA, I spend a bunch of my time in the ocean surfing or swimming against the tide. The only thing that was an essential when I bought my home was a view of the ocean. Nothing else mattered to me at all.
I take a deep breath. I can’t hear anything but the rushing of the blood through my ears. The cool water surrounds me and eases my mind. My body is weak and still aches but the fever has broken and I feel almost human. The coughing has made my voice raspy and I hope that is a sexy sound on stage tomorrow. I may have to get Max to sing backup instead.
“Times up, Lennon.” My bodyguard points to his watch.
I take my time drying off. I can see people waiting inside. Some are here to swim but others just want a glimpse of the pompous ass who has stolen the pool during their vacation. I don’t care. Pissing a few people off is the least of my worries. Hell, with Katrina around, it seems to be a daily occurrence.
My bodyguard goes in first and holds the crowd back as I walk through. As pictures are snapped, I wish I would have bothered to put a shirt on. Girls are screaming and I just want to disappear. It’s always such a commotion.
I look up and notice one of our other guards heading my way. I’m sure he sees the relief on my face. I’m standing here in a pair of wet swim trunks, no shirt, water dripping onto the floor and feeling like crap. His arm wraps around my shoulder and pulls me toward the open elevator. He shoves me in and another pair of arms breaks my momentum.
I look up at Lorenzo and he smiles. “Fans. You rock stars have it a lot worse than we do. I’ve never been mobbed. It’s been crazy seeing how they are with you.”
“I’m not even their favorite. You should see Harley try to leave his house.” I shiver as the air conditioning hits my wet skin.
Katrina hits the button for our floor and steps in between me and Enzo. It’s like it happens in slow motion. He looks down at her and smiles. His hand finds hers and he wraps his fingers in hers like it’s meant to be. I should feel nothing. I feel everything.
She’s so tiny and he towers over her. Just his size protects her from everything. I have this overwhelming urge to protect her and this man, no matter who he is, seems to think that’s his job. I take a deep breath and lean my head back against the wall. It has to be the fever. I should feel relieved that he could make her happy and she’d be less angry at me, for whatever the hell it is I’ve done.
I feel her eyes on me and I open mine. “Are you feeling any better? You’re shivering.”
“I was until I got into the elevator,” I mumble.
“I can bring some more medicine to you if you need it.” I’m not sure what emotion her eyes hold but it warms my heart a bit.
“I’d appreciate that.”
She smiles as she turns back to watch the numbers light up with each floor we pass. I close my eyes and wonder if she’ll come alone or bring Lorenzo with her. I’m not sure which scenario is the better one. They both suck.
For just a moment, I think I could be imaging it. Her finger runs over the top of my hand and down to wrap around my pinkie. I freeze. If I move, she might let go. For the first time since I was eleven years old, I feel tethered to something. For the first time in so long, I feel like I can breathe. What the fuck is happening to me?
When the doors open, I step out and they both follow me. Lorenzo stops just one door away and lets himself in. He tells Katrina not to be long and I want to punch him.
Just as she did earlier, she takes my key card and lets me in. This time, I head to the bathroom to put some clothes on. I don’t trust myself lying here with no shirt on and Katrina only inches away. I come out to find her sitting with her legs crossed on the edge of the bed.
“I was going to surprise you but now I think I should probably tell you. I had an idea for a story and I’m hoping you don’t want to kill me when I tell it to you.” She picks at her nails. I’ve never seen her nervous. This should be good.
“I wouldn’t survive in jail. I’m too pretty. So murder is off the table.” I try to lighten the mood.
“I want to find the woman from your past that you loved.”
I swallow hard. “What? Why?”
“Can you imagine the headlines? I mean, it’s you. If you fell in love…”
“No.” My voice is a little harsher than I imagined it would be. “I don’t know anything about her. I wouldn’t even know where to start to look. It’s better if my past stays in the past.”
“How hard could it be? I mean, where did you live? Was she from school? We could totally find her. And what if you still love her? I could call your mom. I guarantee she’d remember something.”
“Katrina, it’s not that easy. I need you to drop this. There’s no way I still love her. It’s been twenty years since I’ve seen her. She wouldn’t even remember me.”
I want this conversation to end. Looking for her would be a disaster. It would expose the past I’ve kept hidden. It would bring up too many feelings and it’s better if those stay buried. My parents are dead. I dealt with so much survivor’s guilt and have lied about them for over twenty years. And how fair would it be to her? She’d gone through the most unbelievable trauma any kid could endure and I couldn’t keep her safe. She’d never forgive me for letting her down all those years ago. This can’t happen. She can’t write this story.
“Chance, it would be so heartwarming and Joshua wants good press. I can’t imagine anything better than a love story.”
My head is swimming. My body is run down; my fever is slowly crawling its way back to make life hell for me. I need to sleep. I can’t talk about this anymore.
I pat the bed next to me. “Katrina, scoot over. I’m freezing. It’s like the heat is broken.”
Her eyes widen. She stands up faster than I’ve ever seen her move. “I need to go. I put the pills and some water over there for you. I’ll check on your later tonight. I’m taking your key.”
“Kat,” I whisper as sleeps surrounds me in peaceful bliss.