Chapter 19
She’s killing me. Her barely there, yellow bikini is my adversary. The fabric leaves little to the imagination. Her tan body radiates heat and it’s making me come unhinged. If she were anyone else, she’d be under me in my hotel room right now. Damn my luck.
“Your shoulders are getting pink,” I whisper in her ear and she shivers. “And you’re killing me.”
She rolls over onto her stomach and moves her hair. “Can you put some sunscreen on my back?”
I groan and move closer. “Blue balls for the win.”
I pour the lotion into my hands to warm it up first. When I touch her shoulders, she moans. She’s trying to finish me off but I’ll die a happy man. Her skin is so soft and I want to touch so much more than her back. She reaches back and unties the top and I freeze. What the hell is wrong with me? I have turned into a total coward.
Harley is watching me and when I look at him, he laughs at me. I’m so fucked. I really care about this woman. How the hell did this happen? The rest of the guys are really happy being attached. But attachment scares the shit out of me. I will either feel tied down or I’ll be preparing for her to leave me. People don’t stay. Even with all the security I feel being a part of this band, I’m always waiting for the other shoe to drop.
Once all the sunscreen is rubbed in, I lie back down next to her. I’m closer this time, maybe too close. But I need her. I need this. She opens her eyes and smiles at me.
“Thanks,” she whispers. Her voice is sleepy and I want to pull her into me and just watch her sleep.
“Any time you want me to touch you, I’m here.” I wink at her. “Lotion or not.”
“Are you offering me a spot in your rotation?” She grins at me. Her smile is my undoing.
“Rotation went out the window a while ago. I’m looking for a closer.” Even the words surprise me and my stomach jumps with apprehension.
Even behind her sunglasses, I can see her eyes widen. Anytime I can say something and she’s speechless, I’m pretty proud of myself. But even I’m a little speechless right now. I don’t know if I will ever be ready for anything serious. I don’t know if I believe in a forever with someone. I’m not even sure I believe there is a such thing as love. All I know is that what I’m feeling right now is unlike anything I have ever felt. I want to be near her. I want to touch her. I want to kiss her. I want to protect her.
Our faces are so close to each other. “Can I kiss you?”
“Everyone is here,” she whispers. “They’ll see us.”
I push up onto my forearms. “Do you care?”
“I really don’t,” she giggles.
I lean in and softly touch my lips to hers. Every time our lips touch, it’s like life falls into place. I drag my lips across hers, slowly and gently. She whimpers against my mouth. I’ve never been satisfied with just a kiss but hers are game changers. Every kiss is a defining moment of what could be.
When I pull away and lie back down, she leans in just a little closer. We stare at each other. This is that pivotal moment that the guys have told me about. The one I never thought I’d have. The one I never knew I wanted.
“Kitty Kat, you make my stomach feel nervous.” I echo the words I said on our last night together, twenty years ago.
“You make mine feel funny, too.”
I put my arm around her and kiss the top of her head. I can feel everyone staring at me without even looking up. I take a deep breath and lift my middle finger. They all break out in hysterical laughter and I have to join in. I’ve just had the most powerful moment of my life in front of everyone I love. Somehow, it seems fitting. That kiss changed everything.
I take her hand in mine as we walk out of the restaurant. I hardly ate. I couldn’t stop staring at her. Her hair was pulled up in a ponytail and I was memorized by her neck. Her bare shoulders begged me to touch them. I wanted to throw her over my shoulder and run back to my room.
Joshua had reserved the back room of a Hawaiian Fusion restaurant. She sat across from me and talked to Rachel for most of the meal. Every so often, her eyes would turn to me and she’d smile. This woman has destroyed me; first by hating me and then by loving me. Even if she doesn’t believe in love, something is happening here.
“Want to take a walk on the beach?” She looks up at me with those gorgeous, chocolate eyes. “I’m not ready to head back quite yet.”
“Yes.” It’s all I can manage to say. My head is all over the place. When she bends over to unbuckle her shoes, I almost lose it. I should have had a drink. I’m a bundle of nerves.
She trips and falls into me. My arm goes around her like it’s second nature. She giggles and apologizes. I can’t stand it another minute. I put my hands on her cheeks and lean in to kiss her. She meets me halfway. The kiss is aggressive. I want her to know I own her. I want her to know she owns me. My tongue fights for dominance and she submits to it. She moans and I grab her ponytail, tugging her head back for a deeper connection. Her breathing becomes erratic and mine follows suit.
She wraps her arms around my waist and pulls me to her. She rubs against me. Her body is hungry. Mine is starving. The only thing I need to survive is getting lost inside her.
“Kat,” I groan against her neck. She smells like a mixture of coconut and honey. I lick from her ear to her shoulder. She shivers. “I want you so fucking bad.”
“You can have me.” Her hands tangle in my hair. “I need you.”
I pull her hand and start running down the beach. Her laugh makes me run even faster. She said yes. I’m not waiting another second. I’m not giving her a chance to change her mind.
“Stop,” she’s breathless. “Look.”
She points to a secluded part of the beach. It’s dark, lit only by the moonlight. She pulls me over to a hammock and looks up at me, biting her lip. I can tell she’s nervous. Fuck that. I’ll make her forget all about that.
I practically push her into the hammock and she giggles. I pull her so she’s sitting at the edge and drop to my knees. The damp sand soaks into my white, linen pants but I don’t care. I run my hands up her calves, up her thighs, stopping right before I touch exactly where I want to be. I want to make sure she’s ok with this. I can’t push her and I don’t want to move too fast.
“Touch me,” her eyes are dilated as she moves my hand closer.
I run my finger along the edge of her panties. I’m not sure how I’ll survive this. I need her more than I need to breathe. “I want to take my time but I don’t think I can.”
She leans forward and grabs my face. “Stop talking.”
I laugh and she groans. “Hold on then, babe.”
I grab the edge of her panties and pull them off in one tug. I dip my head under the edge of her dress. One lick and she throws her head back. She’s waited for this as long as I have. My tongue circles her clit. Her breathing quickens. I flick my tongue back and forth across the hardened nub and she moans. My fingers roam her legs, exploring every inch. My tongue is relentless and she begins to shake.
She grabs my head, coaxing my speed. I take my cues from her. My fingers run through the wetness before slipping inside her. They rub gently against that sensitive spot I’d be willing to bet not many men have found. Her back bows off the hammock.
She’s gorgeous and now, she’s mine.