Chapter 13
“Can I get a minute?” Lorenzo stops me on the way to the bus. I brace myself for a fight. I’m sure he noticed me checking Katrina out. I wouldn’t stand for anyone looking at my woman.
I put my bag down and square my shoulders. I wave my bodyguard off. I deserve this. “Sure.”
“Things with Kat are going to be a little different starting today. She thinks you’re someone she used to know. Whether you are or not, I don’t care. But tread lightly. She may come across as a pitbull but she’s not even close. Hurting her hurts me. Got it?”
“Not really.” I look over my shoulder and see Katrina settling into a window seat on the bus.
“Look, man. I love her more than I should and I will protect her until my dying breath. She had a hard life and she’s become part of my family. We protect our own. I’m turning a big piece of my heart over to you and you need to protect it. I don’t know what’s going on with you two and I don’t want to know. But be good to her. If you are who she thinks you are, be kind. Second chances don’t happen for everyone. Take care of her, Chance.”
He looks up at Katrina and blows her a kiss. I’m so confused but seeing her saying goodbye to him with a simple glance makes my heart hurt. He’s letting her go and the pain is obvious in his eyes. He jogs off and I watch Katrina. She wipes a tear from her eyes and looks down.
I pick up a rock near my foot. I need to remember this moment. I’m not sure what’s happening but I know it’s a turning point.
Stepping onto the bus, I decide to sit next to her. She might chew me out but she looks lost and a part of me wants to save her. She doesn’t even look at me when I sit down. She’s busy picking at her nails and her eyes are puffing.
“Hey, you dropped this.” I hand her the rock and she looks up at me with the same confusion she did the first time I gave her one.
“Why do you keep giving me rocks?” She almost smiles when she puts it in her pocket. Someday, she’ll understand.
I close my eyes and prepare for the ride. I’m determined to beat the anxiety this time. If they only knew why I’m so afraid of traveling, they’d laugh at me. It’s been twenty-three years since the accident and I’m still not over it.
“Lenny.” Harley laughs when I jump. “When’s your birthday, dick?”
I flip him the bird. No one has called me that since I was a kid. “May sixth. And don’t ever call me that, asshole.”
Katrina almost knocks me out of my seat trying to get away. “Excuse me.”
“You ok?” She doesn’t even make eye contact. She runs for the bathroom and closes the door. “She ok?”
Harley sits down in her seat and sighs. “Listen, don’t shoot the messenger. She came to my room last night and was visibly upset. She told me you’d said something that made her think you were some kid she knew in El Monte. She said his name was Lenny. I don’t want to break her trust but the look on your face right now makes me think she’s right.”
I can feel the blood drain from my face. My hands grip my legs in an attempt to anchor myself to reality. How in the fuck is this even possible?
“I know you used to talk to Della about your past and I won’t push you. You know that. But it sounds like something shitty happened to Katrina and she had to go live in foster care. There was a kid in the first house that she got close to and then he was gone. I’ve seen you with the people you call your family and there’s no judgment here. But dude, if you’re really this kid, you need to talk to her. There’s obviously a lot more to this.”
“This can’t be happening.” I take a couple deep breaths. This atomic bomb of information and the moving bus is enough to make me spiral into a full blown panic attack.
“You know you can tell me anything. It won’t ever change anything between us. I don’t know what happened all those years ago. Whatever it was, it meant something to both of you. Maybe you should talk.”
I’m on my feet before Harley can finish. I need to get to her. I try the doorknob but it’s locked. I knock lightly and she doesn’t respond.
“Katrina,” I put my hand against the door. I need her to open it so I can see her.
“I can’t right now, Chance.” Her voice cracks and it makes me want to rip the door from the hinges. “Not now.”
“Save me from evil, from wrath from sin. Redemption I pray fore I wrong again.”
Our newest song, Redemption, has the crowd on their feet. My voice is rough from being sick but it blends well with D’Rey’s so I keep going. Fitting that I’m singing about asking for forgiveness. I’ve kept my eyes locked on Katrina all night. It’s like I’m seeing her for the first time. Her dark hair, her dark eyes, her beautiful smile. How could I have not known the second I saw her?
She hasn’t looked at me all night. Her eyes have stayed on Max and Harley. Her next story is Harley’s but I know it’s more than that. She’s avoiding me. I’m going to make that impossible tonight when I go to her room. She can’t run forever. We need to talk about this. I’ve thought about her my whole life. That isn’t something that can go unsaid.
“I’m Chance, this is Harley, over there on drums is Max, and you all know D’Rey. We are Liquid Regret.” The crowd goes nuts. I drink it in. I’m going to need this energy when I fight Katrina later. She’s not going to just let me back in.
We start the last song of our set. We always close with Adella. The crowd gets quiet as the eerie notes echo through the stadium. No matter how many times we play it, we get emotional. She was our rock. She was the glue that held us together. We’ve healed so much since her death and I know she’d be proud of all of us.
When the last note sounds, the crowd is on their feet. I hug Harley and I’m overcome with pride. He’s whole again. I’d been so scared of losing him, too. We wouldn’t have survived losing both of them.
Katrina is watching us closely. She finally makes eye contact with me. I don’t know how tonight will go but I want her to know my side. I need her to know I was wrecked when I had to leave.