It’s not like to me to be nervous about taking a girl out, but the reality of picking Madeline Commons up for a date has me feeling like an inexperienced teenager again. I wipe my sweaty palms on my jeans before I open the door to enter the lobby of her Uptown Charlotte condo building. It’s a huge, bright space with floors that look like white-and-grey swirled marble, and a calming waterfall streaming down a mahogany accent wall.

From behind a massive desk, the concierge greets me with a smile and a nod. He’s on the phone, so I shoot him a quick wave, then pull out my phone and text Maddie to let her know I’m here.

She said she’d be right down, so instead of sitting, I stand behind a gray-and-metal couch that looks straight out of an Ikea catalog, watching sports scores scroll across a huge flat-screen TV. Though I’ve driven or walked by multiple times, I’ve never been in this building. It’s got a clean, modern vibe, which is trendy and interesting, but it doesn’t seem to fit Maddie. She seems warm and traditional, rather than stark and modern. Then again, she didn’t design the building. Her space could have a totally different vibe.

A few minutes later, I’m startled by someone grabbing my hand. I turn quickly and catch Maddie placing her lips on mine. The kiss is a complete surprise, but not an unpleasant one. She pulls back immediately.

“Sorry!” She laughs. “I was going for your cheek, but you turned.”

“I’m not mad about it.”

Maddie smells like nostalgia. The sweet scent of lavender fills my mind with memories. Sitting next to her, with our backs against that huge black walnut in her parents’ yard, surrounded by English lavender plants. The recollection makes me bold. I place my hands behind her ears and drop my head to meet her lips again. This time, it’s deliberate, and she responds by sliding her arms around my waist. That gives me all the permission to intensify the kiss. When I slip my tongue out to part her lips, she opens on contact. Our tongues touch, tangling for a few seconds.

I thought tasting her would calm my nerves, but it has the opposite effect. All I can think about is taking her back upstairs and showing her just how much I want her. It’s not a new feeling. And it’s not fake.

But that’s not in the plan.

During the kiss, her eyes were closed, but when I pull my lips from hers, they pop open with our faces just inches apart.

“That was nice,” she says, looking up at me through lush lashes.

“It really was.” I guide her toward the door, with my hand on the bare skin at her back, courtesy of the long-sleeved sweater she’s wearing that’s cropped at the midriff. Not only does it show off a sliver of her tight stomach, it also hangs off one shoulder, giving me a double shot of warm, bronzed skin. Her dark, skin-tight jeans hug every curve of her hips and ass, and sexy, heeled sandals make her legs look a million miles long. This is what she wears bowling. She’s going to kill me. “You look delicious. I couldn’t help it.”

“Delicious?” Maddie asks, glancing at me over her shoulder while I hold the door for her.

“Absolutely devourable.” I can’t lie. I need to bring it down a notch, because I’ll be walking around with a boner all night, if I don’t. Which is uncomfortable for me and everyone around.

At the corner of Fifth and Church, we turn right. We’re meeting her sister, Liz, and her boyfriend for “Glow Bowling” at Strike City—a bowling alley a few blocks away in the Epicenter. I don’t hang out in the city center of Charlotte very often, but I do like Strike City. Especially for special nights like Glow Bowling—where the main lights are replaced with blacklights, which makes the balls glow neon. Is there anything more romantic than glowing balls and the creepy, ultra-white smiles that happen when teeth glow under a black light?

All kidding aside, when Maddie chose bowling, with her sister and her boyfriend, as our first official date, I was pretty stoked. To me, that meant she was taking the significance of our fake relationship seriously. We have to be loud and proud about it—photos, family gatherings—the whole she-bang—if we want it to be believable. Hanging out with her sister in public is a great way to start.

“Liz and Austin are on lanes seven and eight.”

I’ve never seen Liz’s boyfriend, so I immediately scan the numbers on the lanes, searching for seven and eight. Once I find them, my gaze travels to the people standing near the ball return.

“Uh, Maddie?” I ask, squinting to get a better look at the man in Liz Commons’s embrace. “Is that Austin Williams from Drowned World?”

“Yeah. It’s Liz’s boyfriend.”

“Liz is dating Austin Williams?”

“Yup.”

“Why didn’t you say anything?” We stop at the counter to get our shoes, getting in line behind a family of four. The little boy turns around and shoots me with a finger gun. There’s only one thing to do when that happens. I close my eyes and stagger back, bringing my hands to my heart as if he got me.

Maddie laughs at the interaction. “I told you we were going bowling with Liz and Austin.”

“But you didn’t tell me it was Austin Williams,” I continue, as if I didn’t just get fake-shot. I’m getting good at pretending these days.

Maddie’s gaze moves from our armed friend to me. A different kind of smile creeps across her face. “Are you fan-boying right now?”

“No,” I scoff.

I’m not. But it’s pretty damn surreal that I’m about to go bowling with the singer of one of the most popular bands in the country. Everyone’s heard Drowned World songs on the radio. Hell, I recently heard one in a car commercial. I can’t remember what manufacturer, but stuff like that is big-time.

We grab our shoes from the attendant at the counter and pick out our balls before heading over to where Liz and Austin are already waiting for us.

“Hey!” Liz greets us with a huge smile. Maddie hugs both Liz and Austin before turning to me.

“Liz, you know Erik,” she says.

“Hey Liz.” I give her a quick hug. “Good to see you.”

“You too, Erik.” Liz smiles warmly. She’s always been a nice person. I don’t know why I was expecting her to look down on me or act surprised to see Maddie and I together. But her easy smile puts me at ease and I don’t feel uncomfortable at all.

“This is Austin,” Liz says.

“Hey, man! Good to meet you.” Austin holds out his hand and I shake it firmly.

“You too.”

“Y’all ready to get your butts kicked?” Maddie calls. She’s setting the hot-pink ball she chose on the rack next to the red-and-black ones that are already there.

“I guess the pleasantries are over,” I say, which makes Liz and Austin laugh. I walk over to put my ball down too. Maddie grabs my hand and kisses my cheek, then pulls a pair of socks out of her purse.

“Poor Erik. I don’t think you know what you got yourself into.” Liz shakes her head. “My sister is a force of nature.”

It’s interesting getting to know someone again. Though Maddie and I could be considered friends when we were teenagers, she’s very different than she was then. Or at least different than the person she showed me back then. She’s always been beautiful, confident, and energetic. But I’m seeing a competitive streak I never knew was there. It’s not a bad thing, just not something I expected.

“Teams, or every man for himself?” Liz asks.

“Teams. It’s more fun having a partner in life than being alone,” Maddie says.

“Cool. You’re up first, Mads.” Liz presses a button on the digital scoreboard that starts our first game. On the screen mounted above us, a cursor blinks in the box for the first frame, waiting for Maddie to go. Down the lane, gray bars pop out of the gutters.

“You use bumpers?” I ask in amused disbelief.

“Just for the first game,” she explains as if it’s completely normal for someone over ten years old to use the bars that prevent someone from getting a gutter ball. “Gotta get my bowling groove back.”

“To be fair,” Liz pipes up, “I use them for the first game, too.”

Austin shrugs. “At least the Commons sisters aren’t afraid of a little teasing.”

Maddie, who had started walking toward the alley, turns around. “Who’s gonna tease us?”

Austin puts his hands up and backs away, taking a seat on the bench next to Liz. They immediately clasp hands. Liz leans her shoulder into him and smiles. Austin kisses the top of her head before they both turn their gazes to Maddie.

Those are the little things I want to do with Maddie. It’s natural to want to touch the girl I’m dating. Not in a creepy way. When I like someone, I show it with physical connections. Holding hands, touching her arm, or leading her by placing my hand on the small of her back. Even though this is a fake relationship, I have the overwhelming urge to touch Maddie. We have a connection—a friendship, if nothing else—so it seems natural. But I’m playing it cool. I’ll let her take the lead on how touchy-feely she wants to get in front of people. I’ll take it as slow as she needs, especially after her experiences with Trent.

Even with bumpers, Maddie’s game starts out pretty rough—only getting four of the ten pins down in her first two tries. Don’t ask me how that’s even possible without the ability to get a gutter ball. Probably because her ball moves slower than molasses in January.

Then again, after the first three frames, none of us have shown any indication that representatives from the Pro Bowlers Tour will be knocking on our doors.

Maddie’s luck changes in the fourth frame. She walks up to the line with rigid determination, wheels her arm back, and flings the ball down the lane.

Her sweater rises up.

All ten pins go down.

“Yes!” She jumps into the air.

Excitement propels me forward. I gather her in my arms, lift her off the ground, and spin her around once before placing her back on her feet. My fingers slide down her smooth, warm skin. “Great throw!”

She has the biggest grin on her face and her cheeks are flushed when she looks up at me. “I knew I’d get my groove.”

“Nice job, Mads!” Liz slaps her hand in a high five as we walk back to our chairs.

“First strike of the night,” Austin says. “Come on, Liz! Get your ass up there and get us a big X on the board.”

“On it!” Liz jumps up, grabs her red ball, and launches it down the lane with gusto. It’s a great throw, but only the eight pins in the middle go down, leaving her with a killer split. On her second throw, the balls slides straight down the middle without hitting anything.

“Ouch. Sorry, babe.” Austin gives her a quick hug.

“No worries. We still have six frames left, right?”

“I like the positive attitude, Lizzie!” Maddie says. “Now, go get, ‘em, Erik!”

I’m not much of a bowler, but if my girl wants a strike, I’m gonna try to get her a strike. As I lift my ball, I take a deep breath, silently praying to the dating gods to give me this moment to impress Maddie. Then I swing it back and send it down.

BOOM! Strike!

“That’s how it’s done!” Maddie yells.

Liz goes to the counter behind us and fills four plastic cups from a pitcher of beer. “Drinks are back here. We got the first round.”

“You may be getting the second round too,” Maddie quips.

“Oh, it’s like that?” Austin asks with a smile before getting up for his turn. Evidently, the pressure brings out the best in all of us, because Austin bowls a strike, as well. He celebrates by crossing his arms in an X and bouncing it off of his crotch.

“Classy,” Maddie says as they pass in the aisle.

We all burst out laughing, except Maddie, whose eyebrows are knit in determination again as she grabs her ball.

To our surprise, she bowls another strike. After a sad start, she’s now got two strikes in a row, and though her ball still moves slow, they are not bad throws. Maybe she did need to get her groove.

The rest of us finish the frame—no one except Maddie getting a strike this time.

After throwing what looks to be another freaking perfect ball, she stands at the end of the lane, watching with her hands like a steeple against her lips. It looks like she’s praying to the bowling gods for one more strike. Like all her previous turns, the ball rolls as if in super slow motion. I think the rest of us are praying she puts a bit more power behind her swing so the ball gains more speed as the night goes on—but that’s just me being petty, because it obviously works for her.

And just like her last two turns, all ten pins go down.

She jumps up and claps her hands. “Gobble, gobble, bitches!” she says, a play on the “turkey” she just bowled, which is what three strikes in a row is called. She dances back toward us, then snaps her fingers and shakes her head in front of Liz and Austin.

“Are you allowed to brag when you’re using bumpers?” Austin asks. He and Liz share a smile.

“Liz is using bumpers too!” Maddie cries.

I hold up my hand for a high five. “Nice work, partner,” I say as she slaps it.

“I was in a league when I was a kid.”

“Oh my gosh! You were seven and your season average was a twenty-five,” Liz says.

“Guess I still got it,” Maddie’s teases.

We enjoy four more pitchers over two more games and tons of fun and banter. Hanging out with Liz and Austin is a blast. Before we got here, I thought it might be awkward hanging around the Commons sisters. I’ve only ever known Liz as Harris’s oldest daughter—the one who’s going to be a doctor.

It didn’t help when I saw Austin Williams when we got here. I wasn’t intimidated, per se, but I expected him to be a douchey celebrity-type dude who was high on himself. Thankfully, that wasn’t the case at all. Austin and both of the girls are so down-to-earth. They have a different demeanor when they aren’t around their parents.

“That was a blast,” I tell Maddie, grabbing her hand for the walk back to her condo. She squeezes it.

“It was! Gosh, I haven’t had that much fun in forever. Can’t even remember the last time I went bowling.”

“You were really good.”

We chat about the evening as we walk. Once we reach her building, I hold the door open. Her ass brushes my hand as she scoots past me, which sends a rush of blood straight to my dick. I start counting slowly, hoping the erection straining against my zipper simmers down by the time I get to ten.

Maddie catches me completely off guard when she reaches out and grabs my hand, yanking my body to hers. Our faces are inches apart, the tips of our noses almost touching. Her eyes are open, but her lids drop lower and lower with each erratic breath. I lean closer and slide my lips over hers so softly, they barely touch. She makes the move, leaning in ever so slightly and pressing her lips on mine. When she opens her mouth, I slide my tongue in, then tilt my head to delve deeper into her mouth. She tastes like bubble gum and smells like sunshine.

She pulls back and whispers, “Come upstairs with me.”

“We’re playing with fire, Madeline.”

“I like the heat,” she says, clasping her hands behind my neck, holding me close.

“Most people say that until they get burned. Besides, there’s no one to impress up there,” I say.

It’s a shitty thing to say, because she’s doing this as a huge, disastrous favor to me. But none of this is real, no matter how much I want it to be, and I have to be the one with a clear head. Not trying to be a stereotypical ass, but it’s a fact that women get more emotionally involved when things get intimate.

“You’re right.” She releases me immediately and yanks the hem of her sweater down, as if trying to cover herself. “I don’t know what I was thinking. Wrapped up in the moment.”

The fabric pops back up, a reminder to both of us of how exposed she is. I don’t want her to think I’m rejecting her, so I brush my palm over her face. “I was right there with you, Madeline. An intimate situation is bound to get us riled up, whether it’s real or not.”

Maddie swallows hard. Her voice shakes slightly when she speaks. “Yeah. I’m riled up, all right.”

It’s not a secret, but hearing her say she’s excited floods more blood to my cock, and I may have to wait a few minutes before I try to walk back to my truck. I jacked off before our date, but old boy is ready to go again.

“Madeline Commons! I am not letting you get in my pants on our second date, no matter how long we’ve known each other,” I say in an exaggerated Southern accent. It’s a variation of what she’d said to me at Home on the Range Brewing. “You can march your sweet ass upstairs and take a cold shower.”

Maddie bursts out laughing, which brings happiness to my heart. She’s been dealing with a lot of dark issues with Trent. “Is that how I sound?” she asks.

“I’m teasing you.”

Maddie’s fingers dance down my chest until they reach my waistband. She looks up at me with a sensuous, mischievous gaze and hooks them into my jeans. “Maybe I’m the one teasing you.”

“We can’t start this.” My head falls back and I roll my eyes to the ceiling. My dick strains to make contact. Despite every single protesting voice in my head, I pull her hand out from inside my pants. “Get upstairs!” I command.

“Methinks thou dost protest too much, good sir.” Maddie winks. But she spins around and starts toward the glass door leading to the elevator.

“I’ll call you later,” I call out.

“Promise?” She turns around, walking backward as she waits for my answer.

“Promise.”

I wait, watching as she enters her code on the keypad that unlocks the doors to the elevator. Once she’s out of sight, I slam my palms against the door to exit the building, gulping at the chilly evening air.

Out of all the people who could have offered me a fake relationship, this one will be the hardest of my life.

It’s one thing to have a fake relationship with someone you have no connection with. It’s a completely different situation when you try to have a fake relationship with someone you’ve dreamed of being with for years. It’s not like I locked myself in my room, committed to a life of celibacy, pining for her. But now that we have this arrangement, it’s a challenge I wasn’t expecting. Having what I’ve always wanted right in front of me. Knowing that at any moment, I could take it to the next level—and she’d be a willing participant.

In less than six months, I’m leaving this country—whether the U.S. government asks me to or not. Even if we fell in love, there’s nothing Maddie can do to change that. I’m leaving by choice because that’s what I have to do to become a U.S. citizen.

If I lead her on, or let her believe this arrangement is more than it is, it will devastate her. This relationship will be like balancing on a tightrope. Leaning too far one way and it’s not believable, leaning too far the other way and there are too many feelings at stake. I’m supposed to be helping her recover from a man who crushed her heart, not be the next one to do it.